Season 4 Episode 2 - And the Dust Settles
by fanningon
Summary: This is the second episode of an 8 episode MMFD fanfic. Please read episode 1 first! /s/10471243/1/MMFD-Season-4-Episode-1-Expectations. If you can, read it with the suggested music cheers m'dears xo


**WARNING: the smut in the 'Erotica by Madonna' and 'Hard on for Love by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' scenes is not for everyone; if you're offended, confronted or shocked by certain sexual things, you might wanna skim read or skip those scenes (but I hope you don't, cos they're kinda fun scenes). These two scenes are set at a live sex show and Rae and Finn see things and even do things that are a little risqué to say the least. I didn't set out to offend or upset or disturb anyone when I wrote these scenes (in fact I ended up editing it to reign it in a bit), I just wanted to continue the sexual exploration between Rae and Finn, and this was a good way for them to start setting an upper limit on how far they were willing to go; so please accept my apologies if you don't like the scenes (but I hope you do, and I know some of you will) and try to understand their purpose; exploration, fun, and understanding / finding one's own limits. **

_'Late in the day' by Supergrass_

_Dear Diary_

_I've started to really realise how much Finn and I are alike. And also how far we've really come._

_Last night after we made love (in our formal clothes – now that was fucking sexy!) we talked for hours. _

_He started by telling me that he thinks I'm better than him. I tried to tell him otherwise, but I'm not sure I'll ever get through to him on that, and to be honest it's so nice that he thinks so highly of me. I don't deserve it. I told him that I think he's better than me and then we got into this cute argument about who's better, using examples and stuff. It were kinda nice and we ended up kissing for ages. _

_Then he started talking about things that he liked in other people. Things that he aspired to be. He said that perhaps he even envied these things a little, but in a good way. Things like;_

_Chop's ability to accept things so easily most of the time._

_Archie's intelligence and creativity._

_Izzy's kindness._

_Chloe's new found honesty._

_Rhys's calm self-assuredness._

_Tom's passion and wit._

_My mum's determination._

_Karim's ability to love selflessly and fearlessly._

_Janice's compassion._

_His dad's loyalty._

_And then it came to me._

_And he liked everything about me. I like it when he says things like that. _

_And then he said that his enviousness was a good thing – made him try to be a better man. But that he had some jealousy too, that it was bad, that it made him be a bad man. _

_I knew he had some jealousy issues. I'm not blind and we have talked about it a little bit. But he talked about it last night like it's much worse than I thought it were. _

_Then he told me that he'd only ever really been jealous of two people._

_Liam. Cos I kept saying he got me. And Finn worried that he could never get me like Liam could. Diary, he's actually jealous that Liam is mental! Cos he thinks that gives Liam insight into me; that it created a bond between us._

_And the other person is Phil._

_Phillip. If you can believe it diary… Finn thought Phillip was better than him._

_I can hardly believe it. Why would he even think that for a second?_

_He told me that he thought Phil was better suited to me, cos he were smarter and he always had the answers for everything. He told me that Phil can make me laugh and give me books and is passionate about the same things I'm passionate about. There was so much more but I can't remember it all. _

_Oh Diary, it were like some strange slowly, calmly erupting volcano; all these buried feelings came out of him. He didn't cry, he didn't show any emotion really, he just told me in this strange monotone. It were like he couldn't let himself feel anything cos he wouldn't get it all out if he did. _

_He asked me to forgive him. _

_I can't believe that._

_I told him about how I'd been jealous of Chlo all me life. And how in the end the things I were jealous of were the things that made her life shit. _

_And then I reminded him of all the things that made him better than Liam and especially Phillip. _

_I told him that he was pretty mental too. He laughed at that. I don't think there's gonna be any problem with the Liam jealousy again, I think he can see how daft it is to be jealous of Liam!_

_But Phillip could be a problem… I'm not sure that he can see how daft it is to be jealous of him yet._

_I did remind Finn of how he put my hands on his chest when I had the panic attack. I told him that I don't think Phillip would have thought to do that… I told him that I honestly think Phil would have panicked and not known what to do._

_I reminded him that no one makes me laugh like he does. No one gets the weirder bits of my sense of humour like he does, and we got all these little personal jokes that I just couldn't have with anyone else. They wouldn't get it._

_I reminded him of music and how passionate he is about it and no matter how many books Phil gave me, I'd always prefer music. I took the mixed tape he just done for me out of the machine and held it up to him as a reminder. Cos there were songs on that I'd never heard before that were perfect for me, and songs that I'd never told him how much I loved them; he just knew. And I told him that. I told him that a mixed tape will always be better than a book to me. Cos it will. _

_And I told him that Phil is me mate, that's why he seems suited to me, cos he's suited to being a mate. I told him that no one could make me happy like he could. I told him that there was no other man for me. _

_And then I made love to him. And I think he felt reassured by the things I'd told him cos he told me that he knew we were gonna make it, but I know I still got work to do to make him realise just how superior he is to every other person on the planet – including Phil._

_Diary I need to tell you all of this cos I need to remind myself of it. Sometimes I forget that Finn has doubts about himself and I don't think I'm a very good girlfriend when I forget them. So I need to remind myself every day to help him with his stuff. Like he helps me with my stuff every day. _

_I'm so glad that we talk so honestly together now. I know that we can get through anything when we talk it through like this. When Finn said he knew we were gonna make it – I knew it too. I really feel that there's nothing that can come between us. It's so nice to feel so secure. But I need for Finn to feel it too. _

_So I need to tell Finn every day that he's my forever; no matter what qualities other lads have (especially Phil). No matter what he thinks about himself. No matter how many fights we have. There's nothing on this planet that can make me leave him. _

_If I tell him this every day, just like he tells me all the good things he loves about me every day, I know he'll start to believe it. Cos I'm starting to believe all the stuff he says about me. Even when he's not around to remind me._

Rae put the pen down and closed her diary, leaving it on the bedside table and scooted back down in the bed and laid next to Finn, looking at his face. She could hear Gary moving around downstairs and the smell of bacon was wafting through the house. Predictably, the smell was making Finn stir; his stomach grumbled loudly and Rae tried not to laugh at him. She stroked his hair softly and Finn opened his eyes slowly. He raised his hand to stroke her hair.

"Good morning Mr Earl." Finn smiled sleepily in response. "Your dad's cooking lunch. I think he's doing bacon sandwiches again." Rae had once said that she missed bacon sandwiches since her house had gone mostly pork free. Since then Gary had made her bacon sandwiches at least twice a week.

"He doesn't understand your sandwich preferences." Finn said in an apologetic tone. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at the bedside clock behind her: 1:03pm. They'd been up until 6:30am talking and making love.

"Aye but he's decent enough to let us sleep." She returned with a cheeky grin and Finn laid back on the bed with a grunt of agreement and stared at the ceiling thinking over what had happened at the Summer Ball and after.

"Sorry about last night." He turned his eyes to her, "I think I just let it build up for too long cos there was so much other stuff going on… it just didn't seem as important as the other stuff so I didn't say anything. I'm sorry about that." He turned his eyes to her, "You'd think I'd 'o learned by now that us not talking never leads to anything good!" He sighed, "It just really didn't seem as important." He tried to explain.

"Everything about you is important to me, you daft fool." Rae rarely wrote on Finn; he wasn't as good at reading it as she was.

_You are my forever_

She wrote slowly across his stomach and watched his face as he concentrated on her touch. When she'd finished he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. Rae let her fingers slowly travel along his chest and rested her head so that she could hear his heartbeat.

"D'you want me to stop talking to Phillip?" She asked lightly and he thought for a moment.

"Part o' me says yes. But that's the worst part o' me." He stared at the ceiling, "I wanna be better than that." He stroked her hair softly, "I yelled at you this week. And I was a right proper prick about Phillip." Rae looked up at him.

"There's been a lot o' pressure on both of us this past 6 months." Rae traced words on his chest slowly.

_You're perfect._

"I think we've both done really well to not go totally mad." She said honestly and Finn considered this.

"Aye I s'pose so." His voice was light but thoughtful and Rae liked it when he sounded like this; he wasn't miserable about what had happened, he was really thinking about it all. This was a better frame of mind for him. "But I wanna do better."

"I don't think anyone could o' done better." Rae sat up and straddled him and he grunted.

"Oh me bladder's full." He complained and she laughed before putting on her best serious face.

"You listen to me Finlay." She looked him in the eye, "I don't think I'm an easy person to love."

"Yes y'are." He countered instantly.

"Alright… I meant I don't think I'm easy an easy person to be in a relationship with," She saw him open his mouth and covered it with her hand, "I'm not trying to put myself down. I'm just trying to say that this year has been really hard. And sometimes I accidentally add to how hard things are… And you've done much better than you think. And I wouldn't change anything, cos I got you." She took her hand off his mouth and he grinned up at her, "everything's worth it cos I got you." She leaned down and kissed his lips and he groaned, partly with desire and partly from his protesting bladder. "So I'll stop talking to Phillip, I'd rather not have this between us anymore." She said, her face inches from his, "Alright?"

"No." He sighed, "I'd rather not have that between us." He stroked her hair, "if you do that it means the worst parts of me won. I'd rather try and be a better man." He kissed her gently, "But can I still be a prick to him?"

"You can do whatever you want."

"Alright, well I gotta pee." She got off him and watched him stretch and pad out to the bathroom still completely naked. She supposed his dad had seen it all before. Rae lay back in the bed and stared at the ceiling for a while. He returned and plopped into the bed beside her.

"Oh hey, we're outta toilet paper." He told her and put his wet hand on her face. She looked at him unimpressed and he laughed, snuggling back into the bed with her; his father's lunch could wait.

"Chloe said Kula Shaker were playing somewhere nearby tomorrow. Wanna go?"

"We could just hang around together instead?" Rae nodded in response while Finn stroked her thighs affectionately, his fingers gently running over her scars; he knew the feel of them intimately and could say how many cut scars she had even though he'd never consciously counted them.

"I wanna get 'OK Computer.'"

"Got it." Finn said and rolled out of bed to put it on for her.

"When'd you pick that up?" She watched his naked body moving around and sighed contently to herself.

"It's Archie's." He pressed play on the machine and Radiohead gently wafted through the room.

"D'you wanna go to the V Festival thing?"

"It's a fucking good line up." Finn nestled himself beside her again.

"I bet Chop can get us tickets." Rae stroked his hair, "And we could time our trip to London with it, go to the Chelmsford one."

"Aye that's a good idea."

"I'll have a little word to Chop then." They lay in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the music and the feel of holding each other. Finn looked at the lines on Rae's palms closely, always fascinated with every little part of her.

"Do you think there' something in that palm reading stuff?" Finn asked and ran his finger along the longest line in her palm. Rae scrunched her nose up and looked at her other palm.

"I dunno." She answered, "Probably not." She looked at his unreadable face and knew he was thinking on something, "What do you think?"

"I dunno. You're probably right." He looked down and she waited for him to continue, "I had me palm read once." Finn said and Rae gave him a surprised look, "I mostly remember it cos there was this woman there with me parents who got right pissed off about it." Finn screwed up his face in concentration, "I can't rightly remember." He mumbled, "But we was at this fete or something, and I wanted it done cos I liked the crystal ball and scarves and stuff the lady had. And I thought that cos she were a Gypsy lady she were naturally psychic."

"Naturally." They shared a grin.

"So me Uncle Steve… he's the one in Leeds, me dad's brother… He paid for it."

"Oh yeah, what'd she say?"

"I don't remember most of it. Stuff about dangers and stuff… she did mention me temper!" Finn suddenly laughed, "Go' I remember thinking 'what's a temper?' cos I'd heard me mum tell dad to keep his in line." Finn shook his head, "and she said stuff about difficulty with me love life… and that I had to watch myself cos I might lose me way. I remember that cos I got right scared of getting lost after that."

"You took it literally huh?" Rae asked with an amused grin.

"Aye!" Finn laughed. "But I do remember her saying that I only got one great love." Finn smiled at Rae and she gave him a grin back despite herself.

"I bet she says that to everyone. Gives 'em hope that the decisions they've made in their love life are right."

"Even 9 year olds huh?" Finn asked cheekily and she shook her head to denote she was ignoring his cheekiness, "and then I think… I think her name was Elke… no… no it was Anka… fucking hell…" Finn thought for a while, "I haven't thought about her in ages…" Finn marvelled and Rae watched his face light up with memories, "She were right pissed off. Said the woman was stealing her heritage and selling it like a whore or something." Rae opened her mouth in shock.

"She said whore in front o' you?"

"Yeah me mum were pretty angry about it!" Finn laughed, "Fuck I haven't thought about that in forever." He looked down at her palm and traced his fingers along the lines.

"D'you wanna get another reading?"

"Nah." He answered flippantly. His stomach growled angrily and Rae looked down at his abs and sighed happily, enjoying his body. He saw the look she was giving and allowed himself to feel as desirable as the look on her face made him out to be.

"Right, I s'pose we better get dressed and get some food." She sulked.

"Don't look so glum." Finn chuckled.

"It's the getting dressed bit I don't like." She mumbled and Finn smiled, his entire body alight with happiness. Not that long ago she wouldn't get undressed in front of him, now she hated getting dressed.

"Me too." He kissed her and his stomach made itself known again, this time Rae's joined in. "Alright, alright!" He laughed and got out of bed, holding a hand out to Rae. He admired her body as she stood up and wandered over to her drawers.

"I need to get some more clothes from home." She sorted through the small selection of clothing she had at Finn's house unsatisfied.

"Alright we'll head over after lunch."

"Alright. And then we got Izzy's welcome home party tonight!" Rae said excitedly and Finn nodded, glad Dan had agreed to give him the night off work. He'd asked for the 6 weeks of the holidays off work, and Dan had asked him to pre-record the shows so they had something to play while he was off enjoying his holiday. It meant he'd be getting paid for having the next 6 weeks off work and had had to spend a Saturday two weeks ago locked up in the station with Rae recording hours of shows to be played while he was gone.

"Chop wants it to be a blinder." Finn told her.

"Well we better fuck beforehand then." She answered with a straight face that made Finn grin saucily.

"Aye." He answered, "It's just the gang right? The original six?"

"Yep. But I think in future we should invite Tom to these things. And Rhys if he and Chloe get serious. And Danny."

"Yeah I think so too."

"Danny won't come to most o' them on account of his parents." Rae mused and decide to change skirts.

"Do you think they're being over protective?" Finn pulled his favourite pair of jeans on and pushed the pockets in, noticing a small hole in one of the pockets. He sighed internally and made a mental note to buy a new pair of jeans as he searched for a belt amongst the clothes on the floor.

"No." Rae answered, "Danny's still a little fragile, you know?" Finn nodded and picked up his belt while Rae smelled her bra and decided it was still clean enough and put it on. She turned to look at Finn and stared at his arse lovingly. "You arse is spectacular." She whimpered and he grinned without turning around.

"Give it a little whack." He said thinking on what Rhys had said last night. He knew he'd probably have to encourage Rae a lot to do it but he wanted to see what it felt like. "Show it a little appreciation Rae." He looked over his shoulder at her.

"You got jeans on."

"So do it hard."

"Alright." Finn raised his eyebrows, surprised at how easy that had been, she walked over and smacked his arse hard and he felt a strange tingling sensation in his balls. She smacked his other cheek and the same sensation rippled from his arse through his pelvis to his balls.

"Gotta keep it even." She grinned and Finn turned his face to her with an oddly relieved look.

"What?" She asked confused.

"Nothing." He kissed her, "Now I know what you like about it, is all." He told her and put a shirt on. She shrugged and put a shirt on, heading out the door before Finn who was shaking his head; Rhys had been right, it was kind of nice to get a whack on the arse. His stomach grumbled again and Finn followed Rae down to lunch.

'_Banks of the Ohio' by Olivia Newton John_

Rae turned off the car and watched her mother chatting animatedly to Alice, their neighbour to the right, and heard 'The Song' playing loudly, the country twang emanating from the windows. Finn saw the way her brow furrowed. Alice was one of her mother's best friends, Rae owed her middle names to Alice. And to 'The Song' by Olivia Newton John that was playing.

"Oh fuck." Rae sighed slowly.

"What?" Finn asked.

"Whenever me mum plays this song it means she's decided to clean the entire house from top to bottom." Rae groaned as her mother turned to them.

"Oh right." He answered unconcerned. His father went through those moods too, but it never impacted him all that much.

"Rachel Alice Olivia Earl!" Linda yelled as she saw them, "I told you that we'd be doing this, this weekend, why are you so late home?" Finn and Rae watched the red creep into her mum's cheeks.

"She pissed off." Rae said slowly.

"Alice…. Olivia…?" Finn asked with a grin.

"Don't let her see you grin!"

"Finn McCay Nelson!" She yelled and the grin dropped from his face, "You get in here! The pipes under the kitchen sink need cleaning!"

"I forgot she were doing this today." Rae said apologetically, "I wouldn't have come home…"

"Where's Karim?"

"He'll be in the garden." Rae was glad the garden was no longer her job to fix during these cleaning fits of her mother's. Finn was about to ask where Aiesha was but saw Alice take a few baby items from Linda; Alice was clearly taking care of her in her home. Alice gave Rae a cheery wave and headed inside. Linda stood glaring at them and Rae turned her head to Finn.

"And don't ever mention my middle names again." She said firmly to Finn who gave her an innocent look. She sighed and got out of the car, Finn following suit.

"Why are you so late?" Linda asked irately.

"Big night last night mum. Summer ball, and all…" Rae reminded her and Linda tutted.

"Well lunch break is over, get inside and work." Linda marched inside and Rae and Finn shared a despairing look before heading in.

Linda had already almost finished the upstairs half of the house and Rae was infinitely thankful for that. Finn took a seat at the kitchen table as Linda started to list off jobs Rae had to do. Linda then headed upstairs to finish re-organising the airing cupboard in the landing. Finn chuckled as Rae started to dutifully pull things out of cupboards.

"Get a move on Finn!" Rae urged him and he looked confused.

"You what?" Finn was surprised; Linda never actually let him help out with anything, he was a guest in this house, she made that constantly clear.

"She won't let us leave till all the work's done. And I gotta make me own room and ensuite sparkle with cleanliness as well as do the whole kitchen!"

"She meant it when she said the pipes need cleaning?" Finn asked with a confused look on his face.

"No she meant the obvious sexual innuendo that comes with that." Finn gave her a look and pulled off his shirt before settling on the floor to look at the pipes under the sink. "If she sees you not working, she'll give you more jobs." Rae told him.

"Finn!" They heard and Finn banged his head sitting up, swearing to himself he rubbed his forehead.

"Yeah?" He called back.

"You can wash all the outside windows as well." She called back. Finn looked at Rae with an ever-increasing shocked look on his face.

"Is she fucking serious?" He asked her but Rae just grinned.

"At least she thinks you're part o' the family now." Rae told him before turning back to the pantry. Finn looked at her back for a moment as she worked and smiled to himself. He nodded and looked back up at the pipes; Karim had left the tools needed for cleaning them out on the floor beside the cupboard, so he simply started immediately on his jobs, a determined and happy grin on his face.

_'Tequila' by A.L.T._

Izzy put her beautiful 'welcome home' gifts down on the bedside table and grinned at the sounds of her friends laughing around the Foosball table. She returned just in time to see Chop getting excited;

"D'you guys wanna see the renovations I done?" Chop asked and showed them through to the spare room. There was a sheet hanging from a wire across the room, on the other side of the sheet there were shelves that Chop had been putting up, but no one could see that because the sheet was closed. Chop was standing behind them all in the hallway, not able to see into the room. They all looked back at him, unimpressed, Izzy trying not to grin too broadly.

"Since when is putting a sheet up a renovation?" Rae asked and looked from Chop back to the sheet.

"It divides the room between my stuff and Izzy's stuff, so my shit don't get in her way while she sewing." Chop said earnestly, still not realising that they couldn't know he'd put a lot of shelving up too, nor realising that they didn't know he intended to put a dividing set of folding doors where the sheet was either.

"Oh right." Archie answered.

"There's more renovations in unpacking an Ikea flat pack than this!" Chloe laughed and Chop turned a frustrated face to her.

"Oi!" He complained, "I been working right hard on this!" Izzy covered her mouth, holding in giggles.

"On what part of it?" Rae asked.

"I can see the hard work." Archie said, "That's some fine work you did hammering that nail in up there."

"Fuck the lot o' you." Chop said grumpily. But Izzy pushed them into the room better so that Chop could come in just in time to see Izzy open up the sheet; everyone making noises of understanding.

"Now that's a fine bit o' carpentry." Archie said as he looked at the shelving. Finn went to the shelves and looked closer, impressed with the work.

"Oh now you're impressed?" Chop asked with an unimpressed glare, "What the fuck was wrong with me sheet?" They all laughed.

"Well the shelving's a bit harder than an Ikea flat pack, don't you think Chlo?" Rae asked.

"I dunno Swedish ingenuity… they could just be Ikea shelves." Chop shot Chloe a glare.

"You know my first celebrity crush was the Swedish chef from The Muppets." Izzy declared happily and was greeted with a moment of silence before everyone burst out laughing at her. "What?" She asked them with a genuinely confused look.

"Chop mate, you got a while to go to match that luscious moustache." Finn said as he took Chop's face in his hand and made an exaggerated kissing face at him which Chop returned.

"Oh fuck man, me upper lip's naked!" He touched his top lip as if covering it.

"Oh shut up!" Izzy laughed.

"Why would you have a crush on the Swedish chef?" Chloe laughed.

"Why wouldn't you?" Izzy asked honestly, "alright… yes… hairy." She acknowledged, "But he's so funny!"

"Well at least you know when you're a hairy old man Chop, she'll still love you." Archie said.

"No back waxes for you!" Chloe added.

"What is it… back, crack and sack?" Rae said and Chloe and Izzy broke out in giggles, Archie chortled, knowing what they meant because Tom got his done.

"The fuck?" Chop asked and the girls kept giggling.

"Does that mean..?" Finn asked, "Back, arse crack and ball sack?" Rae nodded. "Waxing 'em all?"

"D'you girls get waxed at Rosie's?" Archie asked and Chloe nodded. Archie turned to Chop and Finn, "She does a good back, crack and sack for twenty quid."

"How do you know that?" Chop asked horrified.

"Tom does not like to be hairy." Archie answered and Chop made a face of pain.

"Oh fuck no!" He cupped his balls through his pants while the girls laughed and Archie grinned. Finn furrowed his brows and tried to imagine what that would be like. He shook his head and turned to Rae.

"What do you get waxed?" He asked her and she laughed.

"You think me legs and pits are naturally hairless?" She asked, "and that me lady bits are that neat without a helping hand?" Chop looked at Izzy with a questioning look.

"Yes Chop before the chemo I got waxed too." She told him and he pulled a face.

"Fuck men are clueless." Chloe said in disbelief.

"No!" Chop said, "It's just wouldn't that fucking hurt?"

"Yes Chop it hurts!" Chloe said, "But back to the Swedish chef…"

"Chloe!" Izzy moaned. "You guys can't tell me that you didn't get Muppet crushes!"

"I didn't watch it enough to form serious romantic attachments." Finn said with a straight face.

"Yeah me neither." Chop agreed, opting out of the conversation gracefully.

"Animal for me." Rae grinned and Izzy made a happy sound.

"See it's not just me."

"Oh yeah I liked the girl from his band!" Chop piped.

"I thought you didn't watch it enough to form crushes?" Izzy asked him incredulously.

"I didn't really… but I remember her!" They laughed.

"She got nice lips right?" Rae asked and the boys laughs took on a slightly dirty undertone.

"Yeah, very nice lips." Chop chuckled.

"What about you Archer?" Izzy asked.

"I think I probably liked Kermit a bit too much." He laughed and turned his eyes to Chloe.

"Miss Piggy." She said to everyone's surprised delight. "I loved her so much!"

"Got a little bit of it in you, do you Chlo?" Archie asked and Chloe blushed.

"Maybe a little!" She agreed and Rae dropped her jaw.

"Are you coming out Chlo?" She asked with surprise.

"I'm not saying I'm a lesbian… but if Miss Piggy were available…" They all laughed. "Definitely not a lesbian after last night, practically can't fucking walk." Chloe said and the girls' eyes turned to her excitedly; gossip was to be had.

"Oh yeah, did Rhys give you a bit of a rough tumble then?" Chop asked cheekily.

"Nah he nice and gentle like I wanted. He's just hung like a fucking stallion."

"Jesus!" Finn laughed uncomfortably.

"I don't think I fucking needed to know that." Chop shook his head and headed out to the kitchen, laughing awkwardly. "Who wants some jelly totsies?" He called back to them and they all followed him to the kitchen. Jelly totsies was the gang's name for vodka jelly shots. They had started to call them these to throw off their parents from knowing what they were up to. Izzy had done 60 jelly totsies, in several flavours, all of them in plastic shot glasses, and she was taking half of them out of the fridge now.

"Oh Izzy, you've outdone yourself." Rae said as she looked at the rainbow of jelly vodka shots. Meanwhile Chop was taking bottles and bottles of spirits out of the cupboard. Chloe grabbed the bag of limes and lemons from the fridge she'd noticed and started to cut wedges as Chop lined up some glass shot glasses and poured out some tequila. Rae went searching for salt while Archie started to take jelly totsies and booze out to the lounge room.

"Sake bombs!" Finn said as he grabbed the cold beer and some sake and took it out to the kitchen.

"Need more shot glasses." Rae said and Chop nodded at the right cupboard. Slowly the gang moved all the alcohol into the lounge room, Finn put on music and they went back into the kitchen to have the first shot of the evening; the tequila Chop had poured for them. They headed to the lounge room and Finn started to make the sake bombs, filling up six glasses of beer then filling six shot glasses full of sake. Everyone took a beer and their shot of sake.

"Ready?" Finn asked and they all nodded. They each dropped the shot glass into the beer and chugged the resulting sake bomb as quickly as they could. Rae put hers down first, the smaller shot glass clanging against the inside of the beer glass when she did. Next they started on the jelly totsies.

"Fuck these are strong!" Archie laughed.

"I didn't use as much water as we usually do." Izzy explained, "They still hardened up though."

"Ah Izzy's good at hardening things up!" Chloe laughed.

"Oh yeah with her tiny little hands." Chop grinned and she gave him a dirty look.

"You shouldn't laugh at me tiny little hands; they wank your cock well enough!" She told him and Chop laughed merrily.

"Oh Chop! Stay in you place lad!" Rae laughed and handed him a jelly totsie. They each downed their red jelly totsies and chased it with a tequila shot.

"Sake bomb!" Finn cried merrily again, his eyes threatening to water from the lime, salt and tequila. He set up the sake bombs and they downed them messily.

"Although Chop you must o' had blue balls after the hospital." Chloe said.

"Fuck Chop what about me?" Izzy laughed.

"You know blue balls isn't a thing right?" Archie asked Chloe and the girls all turned their eyes to him.

"You what?" She asked.

"Let Uncle Archie tell you a thing."

"Stop calling yourself uncle Archie!" Rae laughed but Archie ignored her and continued.

"Guys don't get pain from their hard-ons going down." He imparted sagely.

"Yeah I get random hard-ons all fucking day." Chop shrugged. Rae turned her eyes to Finn.

"Blue balls isn't a thing." She said thinking about the joke he had told back in Sutherland.

"Aye that's different." Finn told her, his voice slurring slightly. "If you're hard for fucking hours and hours and hours then shit fucking hurts a bit."

"Yeah that's different." Archie said, "But that never happens." Archie told Rae, "Who the hell stays hard for hours if they're not gonna get any?" Finn raised his hand.

"Me." He gave Rae a lusty look.

"Well if Rae can keep you hard for hours without giving it up she's doing her job well!" Chloe laughed. Izzy looked over at Rae with admiration. Rae blushed and laughed shaking her head.

"Fucking liar!" She said to Finn and he shook his head innocently handing her another jelly totsie.

"You have no idea what you did to me girl." The gang all sucked down their orange jelly vodka shots and Archie made a loud noise.

"Right, getting a bit up there." He declared, his head swimming nicely. Chop poured them all tequilas and they threw them back, hardly noticing the turpentine quality of the spirit.

"Sake bomb!" Finn laughed and started to make another six sake bombs.

"What you doing with uni Archer?" Chloe asked him and took her beer and sake shot.

"I'm gonna defer uni for a year." He answered, "I already rung the university when I got accepted and asked their policies about it. Tom and I are gonna travel for a few months and then I'm gonna get a job for the rest o' the year."

"Travel where?" Rae asked interested; she herself wanted to travel some, if she could overcome her anxiety.

"Egypt!" He teased. There were many places he and Tom were planning to go, but he knew this destination would get to Rae the most.

"You fucking bastard!" She laughed, "I so wanna go there!" She threw a cushion at Archie and he threw it back, Finn batting it away from Rae so it landed harmlessly on the floor.

"You always take her side!" Archie noted and Finn nodded.

"You and Tom are getting serious?" Izzy asked with interest. Out of the gang she was the one who knew Tom the least, having been in hospital over the past few months.

"Yes indeedy." Archie said.

"Yes indeedy?" Rae asked him with an unimpressed look and he shrugged.

"I'm sorry Archie… but weren't we all worried that he were a bit violent?" She asked honestly, the alcohol loosening her tongue.

"Oh he's very violent!" Archie laughed, "Perfectly so." Izzy gave him a quizzical look.

"Stop it Archie!" Chloe laughed, "I can't get used to the idea of you being a sadomasochist." She shook her head in mock distress.

"I caned the shit out o' him yesterday!" Archie teased Chloe and laughed at her mock horror.

"Literally?" Rae asked with a look of almost disgust.

"No, not fucking literally!" Archie laughed. "You guys are fucking heathens!" They all made loud noises of disagreement, Chop throwing an empty beer can at him.

"See I know it's serious cos you using his language." Finn said and looked over at Rae. "I swear more cos o' her." He nodded at Rae.

"Oh Aye he's got a fucking dirty mouth!" Rae said saucily and Finn kissed her and held up his beer and sake shot.

"Are we ready ladies and gentlemen?" Everyone prepared their sake bombs and skulled the alcohol fast.

"Fuck!" Rae said, feeling the alcohol hit her as she handed out the green jelly totsies. "Speaking of fuck…?" She turned to Chloe who grinned broadly.

"Shut up!" She rolled her eyes.

"Oi! Our man Rhys is getting some!" Chop cried loudly.

"Our lass Chloe's getting some!" Rae added just as loudly. Chloe laughed and tried not to blush.

"Hung like a horse!" Izzy called loudly and Chloe and Rae laughed loudly, Archie chuckling at Chop and Finn looking slightly less impressed than the girls.

"He's got the biggest cock I've ever seen!" Chloe laughed and Rae and Izzy leaned in to hear more, Archie noticing Chop's brow furrow and Finn's tongue go to his back teeth. Archie started to laugh in earnest, the three girls looked over at him and he nodded at Finn and Chop.

"What?" Chop asked.

"Size worries?" Archie laughed.

"No!" Chop shot at him, "I just don't wanna hear about Rhys's dick!"

"Yeah he's me mate." Finn frowned.

"Alright." Chloe laughed, "Later girls." She grinned at Rae and Izzy who both nodded their heads smuttily.

"You going out?" Finn asked curiously, keen for the matter between him and Chloe to be over once and for all.

"Not yet." Chloe shrugged, but she wanted to talk to the girls about this, not the boys so she changed the subject. "Alright, who was your first non-Muppet celebrity crush Izzy?" Izzy concentrated for a moment trying to think back to the first boy she'd liked on tv.

"Howard Stableford from 'Tomorrow's World.'" Izzy said dreamily and Rae and Chloe laughed. Chop and Finn pulled a face at each other and looked to Archie.

"Don't ask me for guidance on male attractiveness!" He told them jokingly.

"You got weird fucking taste Izzy." Rae laughed.

"No I don't!" She said defensively, "His little curls were so cute!"

"If you say so." Rae answered and Izzy glared at her, trying not to laugh.

"And first non-celebrity crush?" Chloe asked Izzy.

"Chop." She grinned at him.

"Living the dream baby girl!" Chop grinned in return.

"Your turn!" Izzy shot at Chop and he opened his mouth, but unsure of what to say he snapped it shut.

"You can't expect me to answer." Chop said. Finn turned his worried eyes to Rae, but she was looking at Chop, laughing along.

"Why not?"

"Cos there's only you." Chop said carefully.

"Bollocks!" Chloe laughed. "Answer her question!" The three girls set up a drunken chorus of 'answer' and Chop cringed.

"Alright!" He said loudly, "Um… Sigourney Weaver and…" He grimaced and looked at Izzy, "Elizabeth." He said apologetically, her face fell and her mouth opened in surprise.

"Me aunt?" Chop nodded slowly to Izzy's question.

"Oh is that the one with the big boobs?" Finn asked.

"Fuck yes." Chop answered with a lusty grin and Izzy slapped his arm.

"O' course you'd notice the boobs!" Rae laughed and Finn tried to look innocent.

"It's just that Chop used to talk about her, I never seen her…" He turned back to Chop, "Have I?" He asked clearly uncertain as to the truth of his claim. Chop laughed.

"Yeah she comes to the shop, I fixed her car when we was doing up yours and I pointed her out, remember."

"Oh, she got the same red hair as Iz?" Chop nodded, "And a little shit of a kid?" Chop nodded again, "Aye she did have nice-" Finn looked over at Rae but she was still grinning. "Sake bomb!" He said and started to set up the drinks again.

"She's like, what, 47 now?" Izzy was aghast, "I can't believe you, you disgusting boys."

"Well a good set o' tits is a good set o' tits Izzy!" Chloe laughed and Izzy turned her eyes to Chloe.

"You got the best set though." Chop said and placed his head against her chest. Izzy flicked his nose but hugged him until Finn handed out the drinks.

"Sake bomb!" He said and they chugged the alcohol.

"I'm gonna regret this tomorrow aren't I?" Archie asked as he watched Chop pouring out more tequila shots.

"Let tomorrow you worry about it." Rae answered. "Your turn Archer!"

"Ah it's more complicated for me." Archie said.

"Aye all the girls you pretended you like." Finn laughed, "But your first crush was Daniel, you remember him?" Archie's face broke out into a genuine smile.

"Oh god I'd forgotten him!" He laughed, "I was gonna say Barney!"

"From the sexy party?" Rae asked and Archie nodded.

"I could've sworn he were gay but he's got a girlfriend." Archie told them.

"No he's bisexual." Izzy said and when they all turned their eyes to look at her she sighed, "Barney's sister Annie told her boyfriend Mark, who told his mates John, Alex and Simon, Simon dates a girl in me ballet class called Angela."

"She tell you?" Chloe asked.

"No Angela told her best friend Marie, who told her boyfriend Kieran."

"Who works with me." Chop said.

"Oh Chop!" Chloe laughed, "Bringing home the gossip!" Archie furrowed his brows; the way gossip went around about a person's sexuality was unsettling.

"Hardly confirmation." Rae countered seeing Archie's expression, "and it's not our business unless he tells us." She added.

"I only cared cos he kissed Archer." Chop said. "I were playing matchmaker." He grinned. Izzy handed out some purple jelly totsies and they all sucked them down. "But now you got Tom so fuck that."

"Celebrity crush!" Chloe ordered him to answer and he thought for a moment.

"Johnny Depp."

"Me too!" Chloe answered. "And Jeremy Irons."

"In 'Brideshead Revisited?'" Archie asked and she nodded, both of them sighing contently. "Non-celebrity but?" Archie asked and Chloe shrugged.

"I dunno." She thought for a while. "Do you remember Ricky?" Chloe turned to Rae. Finn watched as recognition washed through Rae,

"Oh god yes!" She laughed, "Oh he was so good looking!" Rae said tragically. "Do you remember when we saw him at the swimming pool?" Rae asked excitedly and Chloe groaned.

"Oh god he were fit." She said, "I kept trying to talk to him, but I was always-"

"Stunned into silence by his beauty!" Rae finished the sentence with her. They laughed and Finn grinned at the way the girls reminisced together.

"So he's your non-celebrity then?" Chloe asked Rae.

"Oh god yes!" Rae exclaimed, "And David Bowie." Rae answered instantly to Chloe's unasked question, "I remember being about 11 or 12 when I looked at him and felt a queer little tingle in me nether regions!" The girls laughed uproariously while the boys chuckled; the fact that girls were just as sexual as boys was still a new concept to them.

"Oh god I had so many o' those!" Chloe agreed and Izzy nodded with a shy but devilish grin. "Alright Finlay, last but not least." Finn's eyes went to the corner of the room while he thought about it.

"I'll have to go Joan Jett." Finn answered but Chop scoffed.

"What about Samantha Fox."

"Oh god yeah, those knockers!" Finn agreed. "I forgot about her."

"How could you forget about the boobs Finlay?" Rae laughed and Finn shook his head.

"I think hers were the first set of breasts I ever saw." Finn said honestly.

"Jamie Lee Curtis in 'Trading Places.'" Archie reminded him and Finn laughed.

"Nah I saw Sam Fox before hers." The girls exchanged a look.

"Fucking, Linda Lovelace." Chop sighed happily. Rae saw Finn give a particularly satisfied grin to Chop's suggestion.

"I were a bit older when I first saw her!" Finn laughed. Archie saw the way the girls were looking and laughed.

"Who's Linda Lovelace?" Izzy asked, having heard of all the other women but not her.

"Don't worry." Chop answered and started handing out yellow jelly totsies.

"Porn star from a movie called 'deep throat.'" Finn gave Rae a cheeky grin and she understood that satisfied grin now; he'd done something from one the movies he'd seen with Chop. Chop threw a cushion at Finn and he caught it shrugging at the dirty sneer Chop gave him.

"Boys are so disgusting!" Izzy shook her head.

"I dunno pornos aren't that bad." Rae said and Izzy and Chloe looked at her with surprise. Chop gave Finn a surprised look and Finn shrugged with a happy grin. Archie shook his head.

"Fucking heteros." He joked.

"I mean they got a shit idea about what women want from sex, but they're still pretty sexy." She told Chloe and Izzy. Chloe went to open her mouth to speak.

"Wait!" Archie said, "Susie Porter right?" He said to Finn and Finn nodded.

"Yeah she'd be me first non-celebrity crush." He grinned.

"D'you ever get it off with her?" Archie asked and Finn gave a quick look Rae's way before shrugging.

"We had a bit of a kiss, but we was too young to be getting it off Archer!" He laughed.

"I think we girls have got a lot to talk about!" Izzy said suddenly, "Pornos and hung men and…" She thought about the fact that she'd finally get to report about losing her o-plates and grinned, "All sorts o' things." She finished with a sly grin and Chop furrowed his brow, knowing that he was going to be mentioned in some way.

"So you lads can piss off and play Foosball!" Chloe told them and Chop reached for the tequila, "No leave the tequila!" Finn picked up the beer.

"Leave the sake bombs!" Rae laughed.

"You're not touching my fucking jelly totsies!" Izzy told them.

"Don't worry lads, I got some Jägermeister in the kitchen."

"Ooo, you can bring that through to us too!" Izzy said.

"Lucky I got two fucking bottles!" Chop shook his head.

"And we got the other half of the jelly totsies!" Archie added.

"Plenty o' beer." Finn continued.

"We got rum, vodka, whisky, bourbon…" Chop was listing them off on his fingers as he went through the door to the kitchen, Finn and Archie stumbling after him.

_'Your Mama Won't Like Me' by Suzi Quatro_

Izzy handed out blue jelly totsies and the girls sucked them down happily while Chloe took over tequila duties and Rae made sake bombs for them all. Finn wandered back in with the second bottle of Jägermeister and three shot glasses for them and kissed Rae drunkenly before heading back to the boys.

"So I think we need to start with Izzy!" Rae turned to look expectantly to Izzy.

"Moved in with Chop!" Chloe agreed.

"I'm more interested in the o-plates!" Rae countered, "Focus Chloe!"

"Sake bomb ladies!" Izzy said and they chugged their sake bombs. Izzy came and sat on the lounge next to Rae and gave her a big hug. Chloe sat on the other side of Rae and they linked arms and downed a shot of tequila.

"Thanks for having Finn talk to Chop." Izzy said with a huge grin.

"The way I understand it, Chop spoke to Finn." Rae answered and Izzy's jaw dropped.

"Really?" She beamed, "It means he noticed!" She said excitedly, "And he wanted to fix it." She bit her bottom lip, her fingers playing with the engagement ring, "I love that man so much."

"So was it good?" Chloe asked with a sly grin.

"Well you heard her!" Rae laughed and Izzy blushed.

"I thought you guys might have heard!"

"We heard everything." Chloe said.

"In startling detail." Rae laughed and Chloe nodded as Izzy started to giggle and covered her mouth.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it!" She whispered with a huge grin.

"Yeah!" Chloe laughed, "That's where it's at."

"I had no idea it would be so good." Izzy said with a slightly shocked face, "and now he can do it every time." She smiled shyly and lowered her voice.

"With the right preparation!" They heard Finn cry out from the other room and gave each other a look and laughed. Izzy looked at Chloe and then Rae

"Last night… last night were something else though…" She bit her bottom lip and blushed, hesitating to speak.

"What did he slip it in your arse?" Chloe laughed.

"No!" Izzy said with a shocked face and Rae and Chloe laughed. "Have you both done that?" She asked with a stunned face.

"Yeah." Chloe said with a shrug, "boys like it."

"Nope." Rae said, "But…" Rae shook her head, "maybe?" She said with a scrunched up face that indicated that she was leaning more towards not doing it.

"Maybe I should do it then?" Izzy asked with a worried face.

"Don't get ahead o' yourself!" Chloe scoffed, "What happened last night?" Izzy bit her bottom lip again.

"We were a little rough for the first time." She whispered to them. Rae turned her eyes to Chloe and could see her desperately trying to keep a straight face. Rae felt the grin on her own face and forced herself to form a straight face before turning back to Izzy.

"How rough?" Chloe asked at the same time as Rae spoke.

"What's… what's rough to you?" Rae asked. Izzy looked from Rae to Chloe and saw their mirth.

"Alright you two!" She said, "I know you're both more experienced than me, but it were a big deal for me!" She sulked slightly and Chloe started to chuckle, Rae grinned.

"How rough?" Chloe repeated.

"Yeah you can't say that and not give us details!" Rae laughed.

"He may have ripped my dress right off me." Izzy bit her bottom lip again, "it was so sexy!" She gushed, "And I rode him like he was a bucking bronco!" They all broke out into giggles. "And then he fucked me like a fucking jack hammer!" She declared proudly, "I felt so powerful and sexy." Izzy said, "Also kinda dirty… but in a good way." She shook her head, "I never felt anything like it." She hoped the girls would understand, "I just really wanted to fuck!"

"I know that feeling." Rae told her reassuringly.

"Same." Chloe sighed lustily. Izzy giggled happily.

"I don't think he knew what to do with me at first." Izzy said.

"Probably just couldn't believe his luck." Chloe said and Rae nodded.

"I know Finn goes through these moments where he can't believe what a dirty pervert I am and he tells me how thankful he is for it." Rae said as Chloe nodded sagely.

"Boys expect girls to be all pure and innocent, so a lot o' girls get stuck like that and never do anything else." Chloe said with a slurring voice, "and then boys get bored of it – but it's their fault for wanting virgins."

"Or girls that always act like virgins." Izzy suddenly said, "You know, the whole sweet and innocent thing." She picked up more jelly totsies and handed them out, "And they call us sluts if we fuck the way they wish we would."

"It's so fucked up." Chloe agreed. "Fuck the way they want us to fuck… I wanna fuck the way I wanna fuck!"

"Here's to that!" Rae cried cheerily and the girls sucked down their jelly totsies, hearing the boys laughing loudly in the other room.

"Wonder if he's telling them that he ripped me summer ball dress off?" Izzy stared at the door.

"Does it bother you?" Rae sniffed the Jägermeister and poured out three shots for them. Izzy thought about it for a moment.

"No." She said resolutely. "I hope he does." She threw back the shot of Jägermeister and looked back at the door, "And I hope he gets some real dirty ideas from Finn."

"Ooooo!" Chloe and Rae chorused happily.

"He's probably telling them." Rae said and Chloe nodded.

"But fuck waiting for him to get dirty ideas from Finn!" Chloe said her eyes turning to Rae. "We got Miss 'keeps-him-hard-for-hours' right here!"

"I really don't think I do anything for that to happen." Rae said in a strangely sage mood, "I think that just him."

"But if Finn's thankful you're a dirty pervert…?" Izzy sat forward on the lounge beside Rae and turned to her, "You gotta tell me everything Rae." Izzy said demandingly, "I wanna know how to fuck properly… you know my survival chances are only 40%?" She looked at Rae imploringly, "I gotta enjoy me life before then!" Izzy said commandingly, "and since I don't get me period no more, I got plenty o' time to get to it! So dish up the dirt girls!"

"40%?" Chloe asked tragically, the booze making her emotions see-saw spectacularly. Tears sprang to her eyes, "No Izzy… you can't die!" Izzy looked from Chloe to Rae, both of them looking heartbroken.

"Guys!" She moaned, "Focus!" She bounced a little in frustration, "I need to know this stuff now!"

"Did you fuck her arse?" They heard Chop say loudly with obvious excitement and the three girls shared a look before bursting out into laughter.

"Oh god!" Izzy laughed, "He's so excited about the idea!"

"Well he's gonna be disappointed cos Rae don't go that way." Chloe shrugged.

"I wonder what they're talking about?" Izzy said, "why would they be talking about doing that when neither of them have done it?"

"Cos both of 'em want to!" Chloe answered with a shrug.

"He's probably telling Chop we fucked while watching an anal porno." Rae deduced, knowing Finn well enough to guess.

"Holy crap!" Izzy laughed, "I need to know all this stuff." She grinned, "Tell me more."

"What do you wanna know?" Rae asked.

"What d'you do to get Finn off?" Izzy asked sincerely and then turned to Chloe, "And what d'you do to get Rhys off?" Chloe lowered her eyes and grinned happily.

"Well Rhys was more focussed on getting me off."

"Oh aye what did he do?" Rae asked.

"Let me take the lead." Chloe said with a genuine smile, "He didn't once try to take the power from me." She said with a surprise she still deeply felt. "Not once."

"He's a good guy." Rae said honestly. She didn't think she could like Rhys any more, but the smile on her best friend's face had proven that wrong.

"Why aren't you dating?" Izzy asked.

"Cos I don't want to Iz." Chloe answered slightly defensively. Rae tried to stop herself from furrowing her brow in confusion. "I spent months trying to get over what those bastards did to me." Chloe raised her chin, "now that I'm starting to get back to normal… I wanna break some boys' hearts." Rae started to chuckle and Izzy joined in. "I don't wanna break Rhys's heart… But I do wanna keep him on the back burner till I'm more ready for him."

"But does he know that?" Rae asked.

"And will he do it?" Izzy joined in.

"I dunno." Chloe answered worried. "But I've never met anyone like him, so he might be ok with it!"

"Boys o' Stamford look out!" Rae laughed, "Chloe is back in the house." Chloe laughed.

"It's so nice Rae!" She said, "to not be afraid of me own body… to not hate it." She sighed, "I mean I still have days when…" She lowered her eyes, "but it's getting better all the time."

"So when you was in charge," Izzy asked curiously, "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing dirty at all." Chloe said with an apologetic look, "I was just enjoying the feel of cock again." She bit her bottom lip and grinned slyly, "and what a cock!" She laughed saucily, Izzy and Rae joining in.

"And reap the fucking benefits!" They heard Chop say loudly and gave each other a look.

"What the fucking fuck are those fuckers planning?" Chloe asked with a wry grin. Rae shrugged.

"They might not be planning anything?" Izzy shrugged like Rae.

"Oh yeah, then what benefits are they reaping?" Chloe asked and then considered it for a moment and shrugged too. "Eh. Who cares?" She laughed.

"So nothing much happened with Rhys then?" Izzy asked, trying to hide her disappointment.

"He went down, then he got his cock half in and I kinda panicked so he stopped."

"He stopped?" Rae asked amazed, "And he had his cock in you?" Chloe nodded.

"Bloody hell." Izzy said with wide eyes, "I always thought it was kinda impossible for 'em to stop once they got it in you." Chloe shook her head.

"I mean it looked like it was hard." Chloe said, "He clearly wanted to keep going… wanted me…" Chloe added happily. "But he stopped!" She gave that a minute to sink in then continued, "So I felt safe enough to climb on top of him and ride him." Chloe closed her eyes and thought of the feel of him inside of her. How different it had been to everything she had previously experienced. "I came so many times." She said with a small groan, "He was amazing. Calm and patient and he followed my lead. And when it was obvious I was ready for it, he started to thrust into me passionately and just…" She sighed happily, "so… expertly?" She asked herself and then nodded, "expertly." She repeated, "Like he knew exactly how to do what I wanted. He's just an expert at reading me cues. It were amazing." She leaned forward and poured more tequila, "We fucked four times." Rae recognised that satisfied look; she felt it herself. "And I decided to be on top every time." Chloe finished before downing the shot.

"Wow." Izzy said, "How d'you get him hard again?"

"We had a bit o' time between each time." Chloe said, "just kept kissing and touching each other, showered, things like that." Chloe turned her eyes to Rae before looking back to Izzy, "Doesn't Chop get hard again?"

"Sometimes." Izzy answered, "But I wanna be able to make it happen."

"Just swallow." Rae said with a dirty grin.

"Really?" Izzy pulled a face.

"Guaranteed to get Finn going." Rae said, "When you're fucking have him pull out and cum in your mouth and swallow it." Rae shrugged, "it's so stupid," she laughed, "but it always turns him on so much that he has to go again." She shook her head, "I don't get it… it's just a bit o' cum."

"I dunno know if I could swallow it." Izzy pulled a face.

"Give it a go." Chloe suggested and Izzy nodded slowly.

"What d'you do to please Finn, Rae?"

"Oral sex." She said honestly. "Finn loves deep throat."

"That's why he gave you that satisfied look!" Chloe laughed.

"Just don't eat before you do it though." Rae warned.

"What about you Izzy?" Chloe asked, "What are you gonna make Chop do to please you?"

"I figure if I start doing stuff to him, he'll do it to me." She told them her plan. "What else Rae?"

"Tie him up and make him beg for your cunt." She said with a devilish grin that made the girls break out into laughter. "And get him to tie you up." Rae thought about the things they'd done, "Sex in public." She started to list things, "take photos of it. Get him to spank you…"

"Spank?" Izzy asked loudly, "Like a naughty child?"

"Well I order him to do it sometimes!" Rae laughed.

"It's so weird!" Izzy said delightedly. "I can't imagine it."

"It's probably better you don't Iz!" Rae laughed, "You don't need that image in your head!" She started to make another sake bomb and Chloe poured them more tequila.

"There's so much stuff I haven't done!" Izzy marvelled.

"Me too, don't worry!" Rae said and Chloe nodded.

"I've never been spanked!" Chloe laughed, "What the fuck Rae?" They started to giggle.

"I dunno!" Rae answered honestly her words slurring and her head spinning deliciously, "I just love it, I don't care! I love it!" They laughed and downed their sake bombs, spilling a lot of beer over themselves and slamming the glasses down almost in unison.

"Oh fuck I'm drunk." Rae mumbled and Izzy burped loudly.

"Yep." Chloe agreed. Rae staggered to her feet.

"If I get some water for us… we won't get hung over." She stumbled towards the kitchen and Izzy laid her head on Chloe's lap, Chloe stroked her short hair clumsily and they grinned at each other. Rae got to the kitchen door and put her hand on it, steadying herself, not wanting the boys to see how drunk she was.

_'Too Drunk to Fuck' by The Dead Kennedys_

The boys were getting messy, rowdy and the Foosball machine hadn't been touched. They'd pushed it up against the wall and pooled the beanbags in together with as much booze as they thought they'd need. Since they didn't have the sake they were using the Jägermeister in its place and calling it a Jäger bomb.

"Jäger bomb you fuckers!" Archie said and they all dropped the shot of Jägermeister into their beers and skulled it. Finn lit up a cigarette and handed it to Chop before lighting himself another.

"D'you know Archer," Chop said, "the next time I see that Simmy cunt, I'm gonna slam him." Chop said, "I don't care where we are." Finn nodded thoughtfully in agreement.

"Alright, but I wanna do it myself." Archie shrugged uncoordinatedly.

"Why is cunt an insult?" Finn asked slowly. The boys turned their eyes to him.

"Why is cunt an insult?" Archie asked and blinked at him slowly.

"I quite like Rae's cunt." Finn tried to explain his thought process and Archie nodded slowly as if he understood. Chop stared into the distance.

"Cos you smash cunts don't you?" Chop answered and Finn looked at him and thought about it.

"Alright." He agreed with a dirty grin, sure that he was missing his own point but too drunk to really care.

"Unless you're Archie." Chop continued and furrowed his brows as if this was a particularly taxing issue. They downed another Jäger bomb.

"But arsehole is also an insult." Finn revealed philosophically.

"Hey yeah!" Chop said with a happy grin and Archie laughed.

"You guys are fucking wasted!" Archie said and grabbed a jelly totsie.

"Hey thanks for the advice, you splendid cunt." Chop said to Finn and he nodded, not entirely sure he knew what Chop meant, but thinking that maybe he might possibly know.

"What advice?" Archie asked licking the jelly totsie shot glass. Finn spilled some beer as he set up the next round of Jäger bombs and looked up at Chop to explain. But Chop had already forgotten what he was talking about.

"Did you lads get on last night?" Chop asked them. He pointed at Finn and Finn grinned and nodded.

"Made love twice." Finn answered happily.

"Made love. Grow a set!" Chop laughed and pointed to Archie.

"Also made love." Archie continued to lick the shot glass trying to get the last bit of jelly off the bottom of the glass with his tongue. Finn picked up a jelly totsie and sucked it out of the plastic shot glass.

"You two fuckers are useless." Chop declared loudly.

"Oh right?" Finn asked loudly.

"Yeah I was getting the fucking job done last night." Chop bragged, "tore her fucking dress off!" Archie and Finn cheered him loudly.

"Yeah!" Finn laughed and took another jelly totsie.

"That's a shame!" Archie threw the plastic shot glass at Chop, hitting him on the forehead, "That were a nice dress."

"Are you fucking serious?" Chop asked him.

"You're worrying about a fucking dress?" Finn asked at the same time.

"Maybe if you guys were ripping each other's clothes off I'd be more interested!" Archie shot back at them and started another Jäger bomb. Finn and Chop laughed.

"Yeah fair call." Finn started to help with the drinks.

"'Ere, d'you reckon were' good looking lads Archer?" Chop asked suddenly. Archie laughed, embarrassed and slowly nodded his heads.

"Yeah." He answered.

"That's good to know that is." Chop said to Finn sagely and Finn nodded.

"You got good taste in men." Finn told Archie.

"So Izzy's dress." Archie changed the topic back with an awkward laugh as Chop leaned back in the bean bag and reminisced.

"Tore it right off her fucking body." He grinned, "You was right Finn. I can Fuck Iz like that."

"With the right preparation!" Finn remembered loudly. He and Chop clinked glasses before downing their Jäger bombs.

"I just feel like there's a whole world of exploration out there for me now." Chop burped loudly and Archie laughed cynically.

"Oi shut up just cos you're the fucking kink expert!" Finn threw a plastic shot glass at him and Archie caught it and pegged it back hard.

"No but really lads!" Chop ignored them, "I reckon I could get her to do almost anything, you know." He nodded his head happily, "You was so right Finn; girls are dirty fuckers!" He cheered and they clinked glasses again.

"Speaking of." Finn said, "I gotta get some pornos off you." He said and Chop nodded.

"Yeah no worries!"

"What Rae not doing it for you anymore?" Archie joked, knowing that there was no way this was true.

"Here's to that!" Finn heard Rae cry merrily from the other room and grinned happily, then gave them both a really focused look, making them both listen carefully to him as if what he had to say was the most important thing in the world.

"She asked for 'em." He said slowly, and Chop laughed loudly.

"She's fucking wild!" Chop cheered and Archie joined in when he saw Finn giggling in response. Eventually they calmed down and Chop shook his head in disbelief.

"But seriously you fucker…?" Chop asked him

"Rae… asked for them." He said nodding sagely.

"Holy fucking fuck." Chop breathed. "How did that happen?"

"As you chaps know, we watched porn together." Finn spoke as if he was imparting wisdom to them. Archie looked up at the ceiling and laughed. "What?" Finn shot him a dirty look.

"The club me and Tom went to last week had guys fucking on the bar where you got your drinks."

"On the fucking bar?" Chop asked incredulously.

"Yep." Archie laughed.

"Caw, I wouldn't mind seeing a live sex show, just like that." Chop said in awe.

"No I don't think you'd like two blokes fucking in front o' you." Archie laughed.

"So you know how good it is to watch porn together!" Finn asserted and Archie nodded.

"Yeah I s'pose it were porn."

"Live porn." Chop marvelled. "Which pornos Finlay?" Chop turned to Finn with a scholarly look.

"'Penelope.'"

"Oh sweet little Penelope." Chop chortled. "Good choice. I reckon I can get Iz to watch that."

"Yeah probably." Archie agreed, having been made to watch these pornos with the lads numerous times.

"And!" Finn said excitedly, "get a fucking drum roll for this…" He grabbed another jelly totsie and sucked it down.

"Hurry up!" Chop said impatiently while Finn milked it for all it was worth.

"'Anal auditions.'"

"Get the fuck out!" Chop said, "Are you joking?"

"I'm not joking!" Finn laughed and Archie shook his head.

"I thought Rae didn't like anal." Archie asked softly.

"Aye she don't." Finn answered, "she took two of 'em when I was throwing 'em out, didn't know which two."

"And she watched the whole thing?" Chop asked.

"Aye… I fucked her watching it." Finn grinned triumphantly.

"Did you fuck her arse?" Chop asked loudly.

"Sh!" Finn laughed and Archie started to giggle at how excited they got over anal sex.

"Not yet." Finn answered.

"Not yet?" Archie slurred, "If she not into it…?" Finn gave a devilish grin and turned to Chop.

"Chop mate… she liked the pornos so much she asked for more… And she wants rough pornos." And Chop and Archie both instantly realised; the rougher the porno, the more anal there was.

"How rough?" Chop asked with an amazed grin.

"She said: 'as rough as they come.'"

"Are you sure you want your girl to see that stuff?" Chop asked with a furrowed brow. "Like gangbangs and threesomes with 2 guys and stuff. Might get ideas…"

"That's kinda the fucking point Chop." Finn threw a shot glass at him and he batted it away.

"Yeah but the wrong ideas." He answered. "Obviously taking it up the arse; good idea. Fucking twenty guys at the same time; bad idea." Finn furrowed his brows and tried to think through his drunken haze.

"Huh." He pondered.

"You guys are so obsessed with anal." Archie laughed.

"God fucking damnit Archer, just cos you can do it whenever you like, don't rub it in!" Chop answered, "I'd love for Izzy to take it up the arse; she's got such a sweet arse. Have you seen it? Bloody hell…" He mused happily to himself, Finn and Archie chuckling happily, "But I know she'll never do it." He looked at Finn, "if this fucker thinks he can get Rae to do it, it's our duty as men to help him!"

"No arguments!" Archie laughed in disbelief at Chop and looked down at the Jäger bombs they'd made and not drunk, "Jäger bomb!" He told them and they all downed the drinks.

"Wait." Chop slurred with narrowed eyes, "does wanting anal sex make us gay?" He asked philosophically and Finn considered this while Archie laughed deliriously at how stupid his two best mates could be.

"I don't think so…" Finn answered slowly.

"No!" Archie answered still laughing. "Liking men makes you gay. Fucking arses or getting fucked in the arse does not." They all took another jelly totsie, "Tom's got a mate who gets fucked up the arse by his wife wearing a strap on. He's not gay, he just loves anal." Chop nodded with complete acceptance but Finn continued to mull it over.

"I wonder what it feels like." Finn asked. "I mean…" He narrowed his eyes, "If I'm gonna try and get Rae to do it…?" Chop pointed at Archie and they looked at him expectantly.

"We're not talking about this." Archie groaned.

"No but… is it as bad as Rae's worried it'll be?" Finn asked, clearly concerned.

"No man, it's good." Chop answered. Archie and Finn turned their eyes to him with surprise, "Joe had to get his prostrate checked, right? And he said the doctor put his finger up his arse to check it, right? And he said he came like right there… didn't even have a stiffy." Chop imparted his wisdom forcefully as if he was laying the law down.

"Fucking hell." Finn said with a surprised look. He turned his eyes back to Archie.

"Well I've never had that happen." Archie frowned. "But it is good."

"See?" Chop told Finn and Finn nodded, satisfied with that.

"So how're are you gonna convince her?" Chop asked him and Finn grinned again.

"I dunno if I'm gonna try and convince." He said slowly, "Just more… expose her to ideas… and see if seeds get planted…"

"And reap the fucking benefits!" Chop declared happily on the top of his lungs.

"Too fucking right!" Finn answered deliriously happy, "me girl's a dirty pervert and I fucking love it."

"I think mine might be a little bit too." Chop grinned, "She were like a fucking animal!"

"Oh I love that!" Finn said, "I had Rae tied up and she couldn't-"

"Ah!" Chop grinned, "Tied up!"

"Aye and she couldn't touch me – it were fucking wild the looks she were giving me!"

"Izzy sucked my cock like it were the first meal she'd had in a month."

"Rae deep throats every fucking time and she swallows every time I cum in that fucking beautiful mouth…"

"Izzy fucking practically tackled me on the bed!" Chop started to make Jäger bombs, enjoying this game, even though he knew he'd lose out to Finn; Izzy had only just started doing this stuff.

"I got photos of me cock buried in Rae's cunt!" Chop opened his mouth in surprise.

"Get fucked!" He laughed, "Oh fuck, I'm gonna do that!" They turned their eyes to Archie.

"We considered picking up a lad to double team the other night, but decided it'd be nicer to go home, drop some special K and crack the whip." Archie answered in a matter of fact tone, "Don't try playing this game with uncle Archie."

"Ok you win." Chop said with wide eyes.

"I reckon I could give you a run for it." Finn said honestly and Archie laughed.

"Probably." Archie agreed. "Wanna give it a go?"

"Alright…" Finn answered, not sure he'd get far; Archie had Tom as a lover after all.

"Spank?" They heard Izzy say, "Like a naughty child?" Finn raised his eyebrows and nodded towards the door.

"Fucking child's play!" Archie laughed.

"Alright!" Finn laughed.

"Alright, I'm gonna have'ta spank Izzy." Chop grinned, "it'd be like transferring my desire through my hand to her arse." He explained slurring wildly. Archie laughed.

"Yeah that's what it is." Archie shook his head. "It's not that we're all a little sadistic, at all."

"You've become quite the cynic Archer!" Chop handed him a jelly totsie, "And I won't have it!"

"Suck on your totsie Chop." Archie laughed.

"Oh Jäger bombs." Finn felt his head swimming and looked down at the booze, if he didn't slow down he'd pass out in a pool of his own vomit.

"Jäger bombs!" Archie cried and they all downed the drink.

"How d'you get Rae to do that stuff?" Chop asked. "Like why did it happen with Izzy last night and not other times?"

"It's all mental with girls." Finn declared. "Gotta get them in the right frame o' mind." He burped and the room swam in front of his face. "Then the world is your oyster."

Rae pushed on the kitchen door slowly but still felt too drunk to go in, so she paused again, now able to hear what the boys were saying.

"So…" Chop slurred, "How do you get 'em in the right frame o' mind?"

"I don't even fucking know!" Finn laughed.

"Better figure it out if you wanna fuck her up the arse!" Chop said and Finn looked up at the ceiling.

"You're right!" He said and Rae pressed her ear up against the crack in the slightly open door, intrigued and appalled by their dirty talk.

"Once you figure it out, tell me!" Chop laughed dirtily and leaned back in his bean bag comfortably. Archie licked another plastic shot glass and thought about it for a while.

"D'you want me to talk to her?" He asked and Rae felt her jaw drop. They were conspiring!

"Would you do that?" Finn asked, "I mean if you weren't drunk, would you?"

"I kinda already have."

"Fucking really?" Finn asked excitedly and Rae felt a tingle in her stomach, her head finally starting to slow down in its glorious spin.

"Yeah she asked me about it." Archie said and picked up another jelly totsie.

"She wants it!" Chop declared and Finn turned to him.

"Hold on." He said and turned back to Archie, his actions slow and exaggerated, clearly far drunker than Rae was. "What did she ask?"

"What it felt like." Archie shrugged.

"Fucking proof!" Chop said happily, "It's gonna happen."

"Go' I fucking hope so." Finn said dirtily and leaned back in the bean bag. "I'd fucking love it!" Rae heard the tone of excitement in his voice, something he'd kept in check when he talked to her about it.

"I'm not sure she did want it." Archie said.

"Don't fucking rain on our fucking parade Archer!" Chop said, "you get bum sex all the time, us straight blokes gotta fucking dream, right!"

"No, I mean…" Archie got Finn's eye, "She were more worried you were gonna get bored of her." He tried to say as seriously as he could, feeling that this was really important, "Don't go through with it if that's the reason she's doing it, mate." Archie told him.

"Who cares why she's doing it, as long as she is!" Chop answered.

"You don't mean that!" Archie answered and Chop considered for a moment.

"Alright yeah." He conceded. They both looked at Finn and he sighed.

"Aye." He said, "I'd love to do it… so fucking much!" They all shared a laugh, "But you know… she don't wanna. I'll survive!" Rae heard the disappointment in his voice. An emotion he'd kept from her when they'd talked about it previously. Her mind try to piece it all together. He tried to hide these feelings from her so she wouldn't feel pressured. This understanding flooded her body and she smiled dopily, loving him fiercely as she leaned on the door frame, hopelessly drunk.

"Everyone's got their limit." Finn continued, "It sucks that this is hers, but I respect it."

"Always respect your girl." Chop said seriously.

"She got me wrapped around her fucking finger you know." Finn said, "And I don't care one bit." He grinned. "She can keep me there for the rest of me life, and I'll be happy."

"Same." Chop answered with an understanding grin, "I'm completely at her mercy." They both turned to Archie and he shared their grin.

"I don't think I could live without Tom." He said honestly, "he's me whole world. I'd do anything for him."

"Oh aye, there's that wrapped around the finger bit." Finn grinned and Archie chuckled. Rae grinned and tried to move to go into the kitchen, but her feet refused to listen to her.

"Love is the most… profound… and fulfilling…. experience…" Archie fumbled over his words and shook his head groggily, "I never thought I'd be so… bound to another human being." He looked up at Finn. "Remember that conversation we had… about you loving Rae forever?"

"You get it now." He answered and Archie nodded.

"I more than get it." He said, "I fucking live it, breathe it…" Archie blinked, confused, "I don't know how someone else so quickly became me whole world."

"Join the fucking club mate." Chop grinned. "I couldn't imagine me life without Izzy." He sighed happily, "She makes every day… perfect… somehow." He stared up at the ceiling, "Like I could have had the fucking shite-est day at work right… like some mug could o' put fucking water in the oil pipes of a fucking customer's Cadillac… and I'm right up the shit to fix it… but I come home… and she just has to smile at me…"

"And everything's alright." Finn finished the sentence happily. "You're so lucky getting to live with her." Finn said wistfully.

"Quit school, come work with me, get a flat…" Chop answered.

"Nah I can't." Finn said, "Rae need me at school."

"But you hate school." Chop countered.

"Not so much anymore." He shrugged.

"Are you really gonna go to university?" Chop asked, clearly concerned.

"I dunno." Finn answered honestly. "I might."

"Well if you gotta go for her, then you gotta." Chop answered with understanding.

"I know." Finn said "but I might… I might end up going for me." Rae's legs finally worked and she pushed through the door unexpectedly to everyone, especially herself, she stumbled forward and the three boys looked up at her as she staggered to the sink.

"Jug?" She asked Chop in her best sober voice.

"Juggs?" He asked and Rae considered flashing her breasts in response and then saw Finn scrambling to get up, he was so drunk that getting upright was proving too difficult.

"Jug." Rae replied, "For water."

"Oh right." Chop answered with a grin as Finn finally found his feet and swayed.

"Have you got one?"

"Why the fuck would I have a jug?" He asked her and she sighed. She looked across the table top and saw an empty 2 litre bottle of coke yet to be deposited in the bin. She grabbed it and slowly rinsed it out, focussing on every movement she made. She started to fill it up just as Finn managed to stagger his way over to her. He grinned at her and leaned in for a kiss, she gave him one messily, while Chop and Archie decided to move the party back in to the girls. Finn put his arm around her waist and grabbed the bottle of water. They started to walk back into the lounge room and crashed into the door frame, immediately bursting out laughing.

"You go that way." Finn pointed and Rae moved to the left so he could go through first, but he only ended up banging into the door frame again. "Maybe we can just wait here for a bit…?" He put his forehead on the door frame, his shoulder leaning on the door. Rae put her hand on the door knob and turned it; they both stumbled into the longue, Archie and Chop stumbling after them with the alcohol. Rae and Finn fell in a heap on the floor together, laughing, and almost instantly began kissing passionately, drunkenly rocking and clinging to each other, their hands uncoordinatedly moving over each other's bodies. Izzy sat up and rolled off the lounge to sit with Chop on the floor and Archie laid down with his head in Chloe's lap, he grinned up at her and she stroked his hair with a happy smile.

"So you're going to Egypt?" Chloe asked him.

"I'm so jealous!" Izzy grinned. Finn and Rae stopped kissing and reached for jelly totsies, everyone else grabbing one as well.

"Well cunts, it's been a year since we all came together as a gang." Chop said, "I'm glad to have you all me life!" He grinned and raised his shot glass.

"Thank fuck that year's over!" Finn raised his shot glass.

"May the next one be even better." Rae raised her glass.

"No fucking pain, we've had enough of it!" Archie raised his shot glass.

"Filled with new beginnings!" Chloe added.

"A year of healing and adventure." Izzy grinned.

"And fun!" Chop finished and they all clinked their plastic shot glasses and sucked down their jelly vodka shots.

_'Loaded' by Primal Scream_

Finn's head pounding was what made him open his eyes. He immediately wished he hadn't and closed them.

He felt his body aching, his throat sore, and remembered that they'd all ended up singing loudly to some shite music last night and then Chop had passed out… and… he couldn't remember much after that… except for the delicious taste of Rae's lips. He smiled lazily. They'd kissed so passionately that Finn could only think of it as using his mouth to fuck her mouth. Izzy and Chloe and Archie had kept talking and drinking until Izzy had had to vomit, then she'd curled up next to Chop on the floor, Chloe had stumbled back and her and Archie had settled down on the longue together, and he'd started fingering Rae at about that time. Things went strangely blank after that. He remembered her mouth and her guttural groans of pleasure but… He tried moving and realised that his hand was still down her pants he almost started to chuckle but knew that would hurt too much so just enjoyed lying next to her. And then he noticed that his middle finger was still inside of her. He moved it slightly and she sighed in her sleep. Finn opened his eyes, squinting at the room. Chloe and Archie where nowhere to be seen, but he could smell cooking smells and hear someone moving around in the kitchen. Izzy was pale and silent next to Chop, who was clearly starting to wake up. Finn gently removed his finger and Rae woke up with an unimpressed groan.

"Too bright." She whimpered and put a hand up to her eyes. Finn looked down at his middle finger wrinkled like a prune and smelled it, making an appreciative noise; smelling Rae's vagina in the morning was a nice thing to wake up to. Finn held up his finger to her and she slowly furrowed her brow, not understanding. Finn watched with a growing grin as her memories of the evening came back and she chuckled softly.

"Oh fuck." She said softly and cleared her throat while Finn smelled his finger again. They heard Chop groaning and both looked over to him while he rubbed his head.

"Have'ta finish that off later." Finn said to Rae with a cheeky grin and tasted his finger suggestively, Rae grinned seedily in response. Finn sat up and groaned; his head was pounding.

"Fucking hell." Chop complained softly and Izzy stirred. Archie came in with fruit smoothies from the store up the road.

"Oh thank fuck." Rae answered when he handed her a mango and passionfruit smoothie.

"Chloe's cooking some breakfast." He sat down.

"How come you're so fucking chipper?" Chop asked and Izzy opened her eyes slowly, painfully and whimpered as she put a hand to her head.

"The gay agenda has rebuilt me and made me stronger, resistant to your heterosexual alcohol." He grinned and handed some pills to Chop. Chop didn't question Archie, he simply put them in his mouth and swallowed them with his strawberry smoothie. Archie handed out the pills to everyone and like Chop, they simply swallowed them silently. Except Izzy who looked up with questioning eyes.

"Just ibuprofen." Archie answered, knowing that Izzy had to worry about her chemo drugs.

"Thanks." She answered and swallowed the pills. She felt sicker than the rest of them; the chemo drugs already knocking her system around. Finn got up gingerly to go the bathroom and Rae followed slowly. Chop and Izzy headed through to the ensuite to freshen up.

Archie put Chloe's summer berry smoothie down and sucked slowly on his mango and banana smoothie, waiting for everyone to get back. Chloe came in with a big plate of lightly salted fried potato and a huge pot of sweet ginger tea.

"Go get some mugs Archie." She told him and he jumped up and went to the kitchen as Chop returned, bringing some bean bags, Izzy trailing after him. Chop reached over to the tv stand and opened the cupboards underneath. He took out a bong and some pot and started to pack a cone. Izzy looked over at him with questioning eyes as Archie returned with six mugs, Finn yawning and stretching as he came back in and claimed two spots on the lounge. Rae meandered back in, still groggy and slunk in next to Finn, snuggling into his arms gratefully. He kissed her gently and looked over at Chop with the bong. Chop was looking at Izzy who was giving him a questioning look still.

"You eat better when you're high." He answered her, "and your nausea's better too." She accepted this with a tiny shrug of her shoulders and sipped on her blueberry smoothie.

"This is so good." She breathed. "How d'you remember everyone's smoothie choice Archer?" She asked groggily.

"Gay agenda." He grinned.

"Ok what's with the gay agenda thing?" Finn asked and took a long swig of his banana smoothie. Archie turned his eyes to him.

"Glad you asked." He answered, "The corner-shop's put up a sign in their window warning parents against the effects of the gay agenda on their pre-pubescent children." Archie grinned bitterly.

"Oh that's right," Rae answered, "gay people eat babies right?" Archie laughed.

"And the elderly." He added.

"Ugh." Izzy shook her head, "Well I won't be going there again." She said with a disgusted look.

"I've known Harold since I were a boy." Chop said sadly, "I can't believe he'd let that shite go up in his window." Chop shook his head slowly, "He can't know about it."

"You'd be surprised Chop." Izzy answered, thinking about how hurt and surprised she was at her own father's homophobia. "Even people that seem perfectly reasonable and nice can turn out to be utter fuck-wads." She turned her eyes to Archie, "I'm sorry this shit happens Archie." Archie gave her a wan smile in reply.

"Well I'm gonna let him know personally why we won't be shopping there anymore." Chop said with a sad face. He handed Izzy the bong and Chloe poured out the ginger tea. Finn picked up a piece of potato and ate it tentatively, not sure how his stomach would cope. But it sat well in his stomach and he devoured it ravenously.

"Perfect breakfast Chlo." Rae said as she tried the potato.

"Rhys told me that potato and milk are good things to have after a big night." She grinned, "as well as plenty o' water and ginger tea." Izzy smoked the cone and offered the bong around, everyone pulling a cone in between eating and drinking tea. Izzy dove into the food a few minutes later and everyone exchanged glances; Chop had been right.

"I vote we watch movies all day." Izzy croaked in between mouthfuls of food.

"Seconded." Archie raised his hand.

"Thirded," Rae raised her hand, "motion passed."

"What have you got to watch?" Chloe asked Chop and he thought about it for a moment, his head slowly clearing as he ate and the drugs started working.

"The entire series of 'Monkey.'" Chop said with the air of a man who knew he'd just impressed everyone in the room.

"Right, well I know how we're spending today!" Archie grinned.

"And tomorrow!" Rae said as Chop got up to get the videos.

"Haven't you got that thing tomorrow?" Finn asked in a low anxious voice.

"No, it got postponed again." Rae had been trying to get an IUD fitted for the past few months. But her previous gynaecologist had unexpectedly retired before the day surgery and since then the clinic had been postponing the appointment. "I gotta see another doctor now." She said softly, "on the third day of me cycle." She continued in an even softer voice, "The clinic wants me to get a second opinion on whether I'll need day surgery." She said shrugged, "can't get in to see them till near the end o' the holidays and that might not even sync up with me cycle. It's a fucking mess."

"Right well I'm coming this time." He said, knowing that Janice wouldn't be there to accompany her this time.

"It's boring girl stuff." Rae answered but saw the stubbornness already on his face and knew there was no point trying to argue before he'd even opened his mouth.

"Your stuff is my stuff, whether it's boring girl stuff or no." He whispered back immutably. He didn't even know what the appointment was for exactly and he had no intention of pushing her to tell him; he just knew that she needed him, so he'd be there.

"Alright." She answered as Chop put in the first video. She'd have to call her mother later on to let her know that she wouldn't be coming home tonight either because they had a dinner date with Gary that night and intended to spend the night at Finn's place so that they could have the following day, the first Monday of the holidays, together without parental interference.

The opening sequence began and Archie started to quote along with the show.

"In the worlds before Monkey…" he said with a huge grin, Chop and Finn joining in, "primal chaos reigned. Heaven sought order, but the phoenix can grow only when its feathers are grown." But neither Finn nor Archie knew it as well as Chop, though all three of them continued. "The four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless aeons wheeled and passed." The girls all shared a grin; they all knew 'Monkey' as well; everyone did, but not well enough to try quoting the beginning sequence. "Time and the pure essences of heaven, the moistures of the earth, and the powers of the sun and the moon, all worked upon a certain rock - old as creation, and it magically became fertile." Archie and Finn started to laugh at all the mistakes they were making, but Chop continued on undaunted and word-perfect, "That first egg was named Thought. Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha said; 'With our thoughts we make the world.' Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch, from it then came a stone Monkey. The nature of Monkey was irrepressible!" Chop finished triumphantly as the opening music began, Finn and Archie laughing loudly, their hangovers forgotten. Rae joined in as they started to sing the opening song, Izzy and Chloe laughed at them before first Izzy and then Chloe joined in, all six of them singing the final note slightly off key.

"This is my fucking childhood right here." Chop lit a cigarette and pointed at the screen.

"Oh aye." Finn grinned, his eyes watching the screen happily.

"I remember rushing home from school when I was little girl to watch this." Rae agreed and Finn hugged her tighter.

"It's the only foreign language thing I can handle being dubbed over rather than subtitled. " Archie said and sipped some ginger tea.

"You know I started watching this cos you did Chop." Izzy grinned and Chop pulled her onto his lap, she laughed and he kissed her neck before they both turned their eyes back to the screen. Archie turned his eyes to Chloe.

"And you?" He asked her and she shrugged.

"I watched it cos Rae watched it." She turned her eyes to Rae and gifted her with a fond smile, "I did so many things so you'd keep being my friend." She laughed at Rae's confused face, "Cos you were always so cool." She answered honestly, "Even when we was 10."

"Well I had to be cool or else you might end up hanging out with the prettier girls." Rae told her.

"No such thing." Finn said without taking his eyes off the screen, a sly grin creeping onto his lips when he saw Rae looking at him from the corner of his eye. She kissed his cheek and the grin turned into a huge beaming smile before he turned to her and kissed her lips. They settled down comfortably in each other's arms and watched the tv contently. Chloe laid her head in Archie's lap and Izzy curled up in Chop's lap, his arms wrapped around her. They were all pleasantly buzzed from their cones, and a calm, mellow, sensation descended upon them all; they were all happy.

_'Landslide' by The Smashing Pumpkins_

She looked out of the window at the rain dripping slowly down the glass. She wrapped her arms around herself and sighed heavily. Her mind wandered back to him, as it often did. She looked back over her office; a mountain of paperwork waited for her, but her eyes strayed back to the concrete courtyard, the grey sky… grey people scurrying along with newspapers over their heads, umbrellas and one guy actually wearing a yellow raincoat. She could almost imagine him wearing something like that and the thought made a smile caress her lovely face.

She tried to fight this ever-settling sense of emptiness. But it filled her innards so that she couldn't eat. It filled her lungs so that sometimes she felt utterly breathless.

She forced herself to take a deep breath and walked back to her desk. She looked down at the unfinished letter; the envelope already written out to a Stamford address. She had tried to write this letter a dozen times today already. But what could she say to them?

_I've made such a mess of everything, and the longer I leave it in silence the harder it'll be to…_

_To do what? _

Her eyes looked out across the room as Brian knocked on her door.

"Hi boss-lady." He said with a wry grin and she smiled back. But her smiled felt tired and defeated, even to herself. She felt old and exhausted. She looked down at the letter and scrunched it up and threw it in the bin.

"What's up Brian?"

"I wondered if you wanted to not work late again tonight… and maybe go for a drink with me instead?" Brian had a sweet, earnest face. He gave her a hopeful smile, his grey eyes resting on her calmly.

"What are you, half my age Brian?" She answered, raising her eyebrows meaningfully.

"I'm 19." He answered and she chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't really care how old you are." He said reassuringly. "You're beautiful and… and kind… and…" He lowered his eyes, not seeing any change in her demeanour to encourage him, "Your passion inspires me."

_Funny he should say passion when I feel like everything I once loved is ash in my mouth._

_The passion that once filled me feels hollowed out._

_I'm hollowed out._

"It's all a ruse Brian." Her smile was sardonic, "To hide the fact that I'm a bitch of a boss."

"No you're not. You're so-"

"I'm your boss." She stopped him, "Whatever else I am doesn't matter." She saw his face fall, but he nodded with understanding.

"Well… don't stay too late… you should go home to your family… or pet cat… or whatever you've got waiting for you at home." He put on a small smile and gave her one last longing look before he left her office. She watched him leave before looking back to her pile of paperwork. She picked up the top document and sighed.

_More bloody insurance quibbles. _

_This is not what I expected._

Janice thought back to her little community arts centre. She'd called Sue, the girl she had hired to do the reception job, yesterday. Her position had not been filled and Janice had agreed to oversee the centre and visit on weekends until they found someone to replace her. Sue was doing a decent job keeping the place ticking over while she was away, and Janice was starting to wonder if she could do both jobs.

She worked solidly on her paperwork for a few hours, the time slipping past her without her noticing at all; as it always did now. She worked like she had been working since she came to London; so that hours became days and days became weeks and before she had known it, it had been two months since she had seen him.

"I should have kissed him." She whispered to herself as she put her pen down. She told herself this often. Not because she thought it would have changed the outcome, but because she wished she had known what his lips felt like on hers. In her 30 years of life, Janice had never felt this way before.

Not the love part; she knew how that felt. She had felt it before. She was a woman who loved to love, but rarely managed to find someone worthy of her love.

It was this ache she'd never experienced before.

She had loved unrequitedly before.

She had loved and lost.

She had been heartbroken.

She was a very experienced woman…

But never this ache.

Her whole body, inside and outside, ached for him. Sometimes she thought her heart would crumple in on itself under the weight of this aching.

And it never stopped. There was never a moment of peace.

She ate her tasteless breakfast accompanied by this ache. Did her morning jog, her lungs protesting almost immediately under the weight of this ache. Came to work and wandered through galleries of stunning art with her constant companion; a never-ceasing ache for Gary. Lunch, dinner, afternoons and evenings spent with her new best friend; the ache. She slept in this aches insistent embrace.

She thought often about their farewell. Finn had been staying at Rae's place and she had waited in her room to hear Gary go to bed. She had waited an hour and then silently slid her backpack of clothing over her shoulders, a box in her hands. She had been moving boxes to work all week, so that when she had to leave she could slip out quickly and silently like this. She had told Finn and Rae three days ago that she would be moving out soon but that she would visit. They had been predictably upset and she had cried in her room alone afterwards. She felt that she was falling apart, and not acting at all like herself. She looked around her room, smiling fondly at the hideous bright orange curtains before leaving. She had made it to the front door and was just about to open it when she heard him say her name. She had stopped in her tracks, but couldn't bring herself to turn to look at him.

"I'll miss you." He had said softly. She hadn't been able to say anything. She'd just nodded and left. She'd left a quick farewell note to Finn and Rae on Finn's bed, promising to drop them a line when she got settled in. The tone of the letter had been light and breezy, but inside the ache had been gnawing away at her.

She hadn't meant to run away like she had. She had just had to. She had fallen so deeply in love with Gary and it had happened without her realising it. It had just happened in almost an instant it seemed. She was in love with everything about him, from his goofy sense of humour to his intense loyalty: the intense loyalty that meant they couldn't be together.

And she had become a woman who had started to hope for negative things. Something she had never done before. But she caught herself hoping that Kenzie was no longer in love with Gary and wanted to separate. It would hurt Gary… for a while. But then… after that…

She hated herself for thinking like that.

How had her entire being become so surrounded by this man?

She looked over at the clock on her office wall. 9pm.

She had finished her paperwork and supposed she should eat dinner. But she rarely felt hungry anymore. She ate because she knew her body needed fuel, not from desire or for the pleasure of truly delicious food. She took out her notepad and began the letter again. After only a few moments she ripped out the page and scrunched it up. She started again, this time addressing it to Rae.

_'Don't Change' by Inxs_

Rae climbed the stairs of Finn's house and caught a glimpse of Janice's empty room. She could never think of it as a spare bedroom. It'd always be Janice's room. Janice belonged here. The house was empty without her. Colder. Finn had noticed it too. He had spoken to her about how much he hadn't noticed it before, but when it had just been the two men, the house had been lonely.

Rae put the clean clothes she had brought in off the line on Finn's bed and started to put hers away, folding Finn's for him to sort out; she didn't understand his clothes system, it made no sense at all. She caught sight of herself in his mirror and saw the scars along her neck. She walked up to the mirror and ran her fingers along them. One faint white scar from where he had pressed the knife against her neck, and one darker, angrier scar, slightly above the other one, where the knife had sliced her. She took off her shirt and looked down at her stomach. The scar on her stomach was the largest, and she could still see the puncture wounds where the stitches had been thread through her skin to close the wound. She ran her fingers along the scars. She was acutely aware that Finn didn't touch these scars. He ran his fingers along her cutting scars, along her stretch marks; he loved her body even with all its imperfections, she believed it more every day. But his fingers never caressed the scar on her stomach or the ones on her neck. If he touched them by accident he didn't flinch away, but Rae could tell he didn't like these scars. She supposed he didn't like any of her scars, but she knew he was particular about these scars. Logically she knew it was because they were a reminder of Saul.

Saul.

_Why did I ever go anywhere with him willingly. _

_He was such an utter creep from the first moment I saw him, I just couldn't see it._

_Why was I so blind to what a creep he was?_

She was painfully reminded of what he had done to her. She turned side on to the mirror and looked at the fat roll on her back he had squeezed. She felt the urge to cut that fat roll from her body. He fingers twitched; the urge to go to the kitchen and find the sharpest knife she could and simply cut this part of herself from her body was almost overwhelming. He had touched her there.

_If I lost weight I wouldn't have that fat roll anymore._

_The place he touched wouldn't exist anymore. _

She thought about how she could get around Finn's watchful eyes and start restricting her food again. But another part of her kicked in and she went to the phone and called Rhys's home number instead.

"Hey?" He asked as he picked up.

"It's Rae." She said softly. "I'm sorry for calling…"

"It's fine, I gave you my number so you would call it." He said calmly, "How is everything today?"

"I was thinking about how to hide my eating habits from Finn so I could…" She stopped and tried to get the sound of tears out of her voice.

"The fact that you called me tells me that you have a strong will to survive Rae." Rhys answered, "Finn calls you a warrior. I see why." Rae scoffed sorrowfully. "What was happening when you started to think about restricting your food again?"

"I was thinking about Saul." She started to cry.

"He took control from you." Rhys answered, "This must seem like a good way to take control back." Rae nodded.

"And I can make the places he touched me, go away." She added. But her mind went to her own vagina. She couldn't make that go away and he'd touched her clitoris. She felt ill and sat down on Finn's bed with a thud.

"The human skin is remarkable Rae." Rhys said softly, "We shed our skin, you know?"

"Aye." She answered miserably.

"Every month or so we have a new layer of skin." He continued, "A layer of skin that he never touched… the layer he touched has long ago been shed from your body." Rae felt a strange calmness overcome her.

"Thanks Rhys."

"My pleasure Ms Rae."

"I thought only Elsa got a title?"

"Only people who deserve them get them." He said and she could hear the grin on his face through his voice. Rae smiled happily in return, feeling stronger and more able to cope with her memories.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She told him, looking forward to self-defence training.

"Ok Rae, bye."

She hung up the phone and took a deep breath. She went back to the mirror and looked at the scar on her neck, she put her fingers to them. She knew Finn hated them because it was a reminder of what Saul had done, but she worried that he thought they were ugly too.

He came into the room and saw her looking at the scars. He was wary of approaching her from behind when she was looking in the mirror like this; it stirred painful memories for both of them.

"What you up to Mrs Nelson?" He tried to sound light-hearted but he had seen her fingers on the scars on her neck. He closed the door and leaned against it, watching the way she turned to him slowly.

"Finn…?" She asked slowly, "Do you…?" She looked down and caught sight of her stomach scar. "Do you hate me scars?" Finn's brows furrowed. His initial response was to instantly say no, but he knew she needed a more nuanced answer from him.

"I hate what happened to give them to you." He answered.

"Do you think they're ugly?"

"Nothing about you is ugly." He went to her and put his arms around her shoulders, drawing her protectively into his arms, "you are beautiful Rachel Alice Olivia Earl."

"Oi!" She said with a warning glare that Finn ignored.

"Rachel."

"Don't say it!"

"Alice."

"Not another word Finn!" Rae started to laugh.

"Olivia."

"You're a mongrel." She told him, trying to get her face to stop smiling.

"Earl." Finn finished with a hugely satisfied grin.

"I wasn't telling you me middle names for a reason." Rae shook her head, but couldn't help but grin. Finn kissed her lips and Rae melted into his arms. Finn marvelled again at how willingly she moulded herself body to his. But he had to address the scars issue.

"Why would you think that I think they're ugly?" Rae sighed and turned back to the mirror and was struck immediately by the fact that Finn was standing behind her just as Saul had. She felt her stomach knot momentarily, but kept her eyes on the reflection of his eyes, curious but calm. She felt herself calming as he put his hands on her hips and stepped closer still. She let her eyes drop to the scars on her neck.

"You don't touch them." She whispered and Finn's face became very serious and sad. He looked at the scars on her neck and then the one on her stomach. He understood how she felt; she wouldn't touch his scar either, she would often even avert her gaze from it. He knew why, but it still made him worry that it was ugly.

"They remind me how close I came to losing you." He answered honestly, "And I don't like being reminded." He sighed, "I s'pose that's why you don't look at my scar." She saw the vulnerability in his eyes and she turned back to him.

"You nearly died." She said, "And I can't get over that… I just keep…" She looked away, "it's always in me mind Finn." She told him.

"So you don't think the scar's ugly?" He asked, trying to hide the urgency he felt.

"No." She answered, "But it reminds me." She made an effort to look down at it. She felt Finn's fingers gently touch the scars on her neck and tears pricked her eyes. She slowly reached her hands out to Finn's large scar that slashed down the side of his abdomen. Her scars puckered up, but his fell inwards. It had been sewn well, and the line was thin, but long, and still red in colour. She ran her finger along the entire length of the healed wound, and suddenly felt infinitely grateful that she got to see this scar; it meant that he had lived, that he had healed. She looked up at Finn; he looked so worried that she was touching his scar and she smiled reassuringly.

"This scar isn't about him." She said softly. "Not anymore." She touched his face, "Now it's about how thankful I am that you survived." Finn's fingertips stopped moving on her neck as he drank that in, "This scar is your body having healed after what happened." She told him, "And I'm so thankful for that… for this scar." She felt another tear drop onto her cheek and smiled adoringly at her Finn. His breath caught as she bent and kissed his scar gently. She looked back up at him and stroked his hair, "We survived." She said and he pulled her into his arms, their lips finding each other's instantly, easily; they knew each other so well, so intimately, that they never had to search for each other's lips, they came together naturally.

"I love you." He said, his voice thick with emotion.

"I love you, my Finn." She whispered.

"It has been a difficult year." He told her, "But you've been the one good thing in me whole life." He held to him tightly, "I'm so thankful I've got you." He looked back at her neck scars and took a deep breath, "these scars are a sign of what my Rae survived." He whispered to himself, able to re-frame them in this way easily, because she already had so many survival scars. He raised his fingers to her neck slowly and Rae lifted her chin so he could see better but his eyes went back to her face. Her eyes were closed, the sun shone in through the window across her beautiful skin. He looked up at the window; she had left the curtains open for the first time since Saul had attacked her. His eyes fell back to her face and a contentment overcame him; they were healing, slowly, but surely. He kissed her neck, first tenderly and then with growing desire and passion. He unhooked her bra easily as he kissed back up to her mouth, their tongues circling each other, Rae gripping him tightly to her so that her breasts pressed into his chest, making him groan lustily; he loved to feel her pressed into his body like this, and she knew it. Rae groaned appreciatively as Finn's mouth moved down to her breasts, his hands cupping then pushing them together. His mouth closed over first one then her other nipple, his tongue dancing around them expertly. He knelt and kissed down her stomach and stopped at the scar there, looking closely at the stich marks and the angry red colour it still had. His fingers went up to the scar; the skin here felt so fragile and easy to tear. He looked back up at her.

"It's really getting better isn't it?" He asked vulnerably, as if he couldn't believe it.

"Aye." She said softly. "Everything's getting better Finn." She loved the way he looked when he grinned contently. Rae watched his lips press against her scar and felt his fingers at the button of her jeans. She looked over at the window momentarily,

_He's not coming back,_

and then at the sun streaming onto the bed. It would be so nice to make love in the sunshine. Rae stepped out of her pants as soon as Finn had them lowered and enjoyed the way he kissed her legs, even the tops of her feet, with open mouthed, wet kisses, his tongue lapping at her salty skin. He lifted up one leg and put it over his shoulder as he kissed up her thighs. Rae closed her eyes as she felt his mouth on her cunt, his tongue licking her pussy lips hungrily before slipping between them to lick her clitoris. She laced her fingers through his hair and groaned appreciatively.

_Oh God… me legs are gonna give way…_

_How the fuck does Finn get head standing up?_

She pulled his head away from her and he groaned lustily.

"I'm not done?" He asked confused.

"Bed." Rae answered panting. Finn was up like a shot and kissing her mouth. She laced her arms around his neck and enjoyed the feeling of his hands grabbing her arse firmly, his body bending into hers unexpectedly. And then he lifted her up, using her arse as leverage, their bodies pressed together.

"Oh!" She said in shock as Finn carried her to the bed, the muscles in his stomach tense against her stomach, his eyes on hers. He'd only lifted her feet a few centimetres off the ground; he intended to be able to eventually fuck her up against a wall and scoop her into his arms. But that would take time. For now Rae was so stunned that he had lifted her that she was giggling like a child. Finn started to laugh and dropped her down onto his bed. She made another surprised sound and laid back immediately, arching her back exquisitely, her legs parted slightly, her arms reaching up to him. Finn loved the way she was laughing with real joy as he stripped his jeans off and knelt between her thighs to kiss her.

"Sorry I laughed!" She said breathlessly, "that was actually quite impressive." She grinned merrily as he stroked her hair and looked down on her stunning face.

"Don't be sorry you laughed." He answered, "I love every single thing about you." They kissed and he felt her arching her back more, wanting to press her body into his, "I've never been this happy in me whole life, Rae." He told her and she stroked his hair.

"Me either." They stared into each other's eyes for a long time, Finn not able to believe his luck that she could gift him with such a loving look. He kissed her lips and she licked his lips slowly and sensually, like she did whenever she was trying to make him want her. She didn't realise she didn't have to try; he just wanted her all the time. Although that lick along his lips did always make him crazy for her. Slowly he kissed back down her body, wanting to get back to his unfinished business. Rae opened her thighs gladly and raised her arms above her head, her head thrown back, the sun streaming across her, making her skin glow. Finn took her in, her dark hair sprayed around her head, a single curl falling over her breast, her angelic lips curved into an ecstatic smile, the dark triangle of hair that he was about to dive into, contrasting vividly with her perfect skin; she was painfully beautiful. He touched the skin on her thigh with something far beyond wonder, beyond worship, and felt her shiver with delight, heard her breathe in with anticipation. She turned his eyes to him and he was lost again; time had no meaning, there was just the two of them, and he was lost in love. Deliriously, ecstatically lost in love. He lowered his face to her and closed his eyes, taking in the scent of her and being overwhelmed with how much of a privilege it was to be permitted to taste her like this. He licked along her pussy lips again and listened to the noises she made, focussed on the way her body responded. He allowed himself to become totally intoxicated on her as he began to lick her again. Rae closed her eyes and relaxed into the feel of his mouth on her cunt. She felt him push her legs further apart, he did this sometimes, when he was particularly excited to go down. She pushed her thighs out further for him and he licked her cunt, his tongue finding out her vaginal opening and sliding over it, trying to get inside of it. Rae couldn't help but groan with desire; he was so close to where she wanted him, but he deliberately teased her and didn't lick her clit yet.

Her eyes suddenly shot open as the licks Finn was doing around her hole grew long, dipping further down, licking the perineum just below her vagina, but not yet heading any closer to her anus. She groaned deeply; it felt incredible. He licked slightly lower still, but the way she was lying on the bed made it impossible for him to go any lower; she need to tilt her pelvis up just a little more if she wanted him to do anilingus. She looked down at his head moving between her legs and groaned with desire, but couldn't bring herself to tilt her pelvis up. His licks very slowly grew longer, from as far down as he could reach heading further up towards her clitoris. Rae noticed that her mouth was open wide in surprise, desire and pleasure. By the time Finn's tongue finally licked her clitoris Rae's whole body was tense with desperate desire. He body melted back into the bed as he started to focus on her clit. He slipped two fingers into her and immediately licked around his fingers as they penetrated her, his tongue again straying low, Rae groaning loudly. Rae felt tingles spreading out through her whole body from that tiny area just between her vagina and her arse and wondered how it was possible that so small a place could be so pleasurable. Finn's tongue stayed south while his fingers found her sweet spot inside and caressed it perfectly. To her surprise, Rae felt an orgasm building, she groaned loudly and Finn felt her vagina tighten around his fingers convulsively. Rae's insides clenched with a tingling orgasm that took her by surprise with its internal intensity. It felt like the very core of her was pulsing in pleasure. And then she gasped loudly as Finn started to lick her clitoris again, a deep, powerful clitoral orgasm quickly followed, her whole body shaking with pleasure. Finn stopped licking her but kept his fingers stimulating her G-spot as he looked up at her, his lips glistening with her cum. She groaned, her body moving rhythmically to the thrusts of his fingers, her eyes watching him hungrily. He pushed his fingers as deep as he could inside of her and she gasped, before he withdrew them. Finn licked his fingers and groaned.

"You taste so fucking good." He told her, his eyes never leaving hers. Rae licked her lips and looked down at his cock. When she looked back up at Finn's face, the look he was giving her told her that he knew exactly what she was thinking. He got off the bed slowly and she got up, kneeling on the bed. He kissed her deeply, Rae enjoying the taste of her cunt on his lips. She started to his down his body, ending up on all fours on his bed, her lips slipping over the head of his cock while he stood, watching her mouth engulfing him. He looked over at the mirror and saw the side angle of his cock sliding into her throat. He grinned as he felt himself hit the back of her throat, the felt her push herself past the moment and groaned deeply as the entire length of his cock slid into her mouth, her nose ending up against his stomach.

"Don't ever change girl." He whispered gratefully to her as she moved her mouth up and down the entire length of his cock; making sure he enjoyed getting to go past her gag point every single time, sometimes with a gagging sound, sometimes with deep breath preceding it, always with an appreciative moan from him.

"You either." She slid onto her knees on the floor and started to lick his cock but he stopped her and looked into her eyes.

"I meant not just the blow jobs… I mean everything."

"Me too." She answered before taking another deep breath and deep throating him again making him groan throatily. He liked that it wasn't easy for her to do it, but she did it anyway and she liked doing it, for him. She had just taken him into her hand and was licking his balls lavishly when the phone rang. Both of them ignoring it without any prompting. She took one of his balls into her mouth and sucked gently, Finn was trying to keep his hand son his hips to just let her do what she wanted to him. He felt a thrill go through his body when he felt her tongue tentatively explore the area behind his scrotum momentarily before taking his other ball into her mouth. Finn watched in the mirror again as she licked the length of his cock and slid it all the way down her throat again, holding her nose to his stomach again, the effort bringing tears to her eyes.

"Rae!" They heard Finn's father call up the stairs. Both Finn and Rae's eyes opened in surprise and she pulled him out of her throat and coughed before calling back.

"What is it Gary?" She asked sweetly; her hand grasping Finn's cock firmly, rubbing it at a decent pace, Finn's head thrown back in pleasure.

"Chloe's on the phone for you. Says it's important."

"Just a minute!" She called back before looking up at Finn, "You better cum right now." She told him, both of them knowing that for Chloe to call here, it was something that was going to end their sex session.

"Lick behind me balls again." He told her and she did, sending a tingling sensation throughout his body. He took his cock from her and started to masturbate, feeling the pleasure her tongue was giving him with real surprise.

"What do you want me to tell her?" Gary called back up and Rae stopped licking Finn to answer.

"Tell her to give me…" She looked up at Finn.

"Three." Finn said.

"Three minutes." Rae called out loudly. Finn took her hair in his hands and she opened her mouth, he started to thrust into her throat.

"I really wanted to make love to you today." He said in an irritated voice.

"Cum all over my face instead." She said with a grin when he let her up for air and he had to smile.

"Well I suppose it'll have to do." He laughed and plunged back into her throat. He pushed himself to cum again, forcing the build in his body. He pulled her off his cock and forced her face into his balls again and felt her tongue lapping at his scrotum and perineum. He masturbated, until he was close, then pulled her hair roughly, she opened her mouth for him just in time to catch his cum spurting from him in long pearlescent ropes. He spurted it up her face and into her hair by accident and groaned, enjoying the way she looked with his cum all over her face and in her mouth. She swallowed and picked up the phone, his cum slowly dripping down her cheek.

"Hi Chlo." She said with a sweet voice as Finn collapsed onto the bed still panting, his eyes on her face. He watched her happy face turn concerned and her eyes turned to him as she listened.

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can." She said and hung up the phone. "Liam woke up on Friday night."

_'Mercy' by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds_

On a beautiful Monday afternoon Rae found herself numbly walking up a hospital corridor with Chloe's hand in hers. Finn followed with his hands in his pockets, a forced look of neutrality on his face.

They got to his room and Finn hung back.

"I'll stay out here, yeah?" He said and Rae nodded to him before they went in. Liam raised his eyes to them and gave a crooked smile.

"My two favourite girls." His voice sounded slurred, as if he were drunk. Rae and Chloe both saw the tremor in the hand that lay across his lap and the awkward way he held himself. "The fuck have you been?" He asked them with the same smile. His leg twitched violently, and Chloe had to stop herself from jumping.

"Eli only just rung us." Chloe answered, Eli had tried Rae's place, but being unable to get through had asked for a contact number. Linda had given her Chloe and Finn's numbers. He scoffed slightly at her answer, spittle coming from his mouth. He wiped it with a hand that shook violently and Rae's eyes stung with tears. They both simultaneously went to his bed and Chloe took his shaking hand.

"How are you feeling?" Rae asked.

"How d'you think?" He asked with no facial expression. It was like his face was dead. "Like shit." He looked up into Rae's face. "It wasn't suicide." He told her, "Just wanted some fun."

"Call this fun?" Rae tried to joke, and his lips moved lightly into that crooked smile. Eli came in with a cup and smiled wanly at them.

"Hey guys." She said and sat down in the chair, putting her drink down. "Hey big bear." She said to Liam and Rae saw his eyes light up.

"Eli." He smiled crookedly, as if one side of his mouth would not work properly. He moved as if drunk and pulled her into a loose hug. She crawled up onto the bed and hugged her big brother. Chloe sat down in the chair she vacated and Rae pulled up the other chair and sat on his other side. Eli looked over to Rae.

"He had toxic anoxia caused by the overdose." She told them, "they said I found him just soon enough for him to not be affected much worse. He's been in and out of a vegetative state for the past 7 weeks." She looked over at him, his eyes closed as if the effort of this whole thing was too much, "sometimes he was in a minimally conscious state…"

"I thought he was in a coma this whole time?" Chloe asked, shocked at how little attention she'd been paying.

"No only the first few days." Eli replied.

"I'm such a bad friend." Chloe whispered.

"You both are." Liam mumbled, "Pair o' bitches."

"Sorry about that." Eli looked at his face and then back at Chloe and Rae, "He's been insulting pretty much everyone. He's crankier now." She stroked his hair for a moment and sighed, "But he doesn't remember it, his short term memory is shot to shit and he forgets about 80% of things that happen, and he's got these tremors and his body's all weak and…" She stopped listing all his problems and looked down, "they said he's lucky it wasn't much worse." She sounded like her voice might be drowned out with tears at any moment, "they said I probably found him less than a minute after he collapsed. Said his body did a lot o' healing while he was out of it." She said with a grim smile.

"Well at least he's awake." Rae said bracingly.

"Like you give a fuck." He looked at her with a strange look, "Wouldn't it be easier, Earl, if I'd died?" His voice slurred horribly and Rae felt tears spring to her eyes.

"No." She answered honestly.

"Cos you'd feel guilty." He looked away from her and Rae looked up at Chloe who looked horror-struck, not knowing how to handle any of this.

"I was wrong to abandon you Liam." Rae said firmly. He turned his face back to her, his movements jerky and uncontrolled. She looked into his eyes as he lowered is hand to hers and weakly squeezed her fingers.

"But you did." He told her in a monotone. "I forgive you." He said softly and Rae felt a sob hitch at her throat. She could see Chloe's hands go up to her mouth, her body rocking with sorrow. "You too you dozey cunt." He said and slowly turned his head to Chloe.

"I'm so sorry." Chloe whispered through her hands. "I wasn't a good friend." She reached took her hands away from her mouth and took his hand in hers again. "I should o' bailed you out."

"Yeah." Liam agreed, "But you didn't." He closed his eyes, "But I forgive you both." He slipped into a sleep and Eli hopped off the bed.

"He'll probably forget this conversation." She said sadly as she sat in the last chair despondently.

"Where's his mum?" Chloe asked, outraged on his behalf.

"Dead." She answered sadly. Rae and Chloe felt shock rock through their bodies.

"What?" Rae gasped and looked back at him.

"Me mum's a cop you know? She attended the car accident that killed her. She were in the car with some guy high on crack." She sniffed, "slammed into a tree." Eli wiped a tear from her face, "He walked away fine. She went through the windscreen." She looked down at her fingers and picked at her nails sadly, "Happened three days after he overdosed."

"Does he know?" Chloe asked in a small voice.

"I haven't told him yet." She said miserably, "Even if I did he probably wouldn't remember a few hours after he'd cried about it…" She shook her head, "I just keep implying that he gets visitors while he's asleep. I think he knows I'm lying… but with his memory the way it is, who knows?"

"He's got no family now." Rae said, "Except for you Eli." Eli nodded slowly.

"He's got no legal guardian, so the hospital makes all the decisions for him." She turned her eyes to Rae, "He might never get better than he is now Rae." She started to cry and both Rae and Chloe were on their feet in an instant, both of them going to her and hugging her.

"They'll be able to do rehabilitation classes and stuff?" Chloe asked Rae in a voice aimed at reassuring Eli.

"Yeah I'd think so." A nurse came in and clucked her tongue looking at her watch.

"Visiting hours for this ward are well and truly over girls. Out you go." She told them and went to Liam's bed without looking back.

Rae and Chloe said their farewells and left the room in a daze and Eli shrugged and sat down in the room, the nurse giving her a glare. Chloe and Rae didn't hang around to see how that argument went, they headed out of the hospital despondently, Finn following after them.

He drove them silently, pursing his lips, while both of them cried.

"We have to spend more time with him." Chloe said and Rae nodded, sniffing back her tears as best she could.

"Yeah." She answered finally.

"He's so good to forgive us." Chloe said in a grateful voice that made Finn narrow his eyes.

"Forgive you for what?" He asked carefully.

"Abandoning him." Chloe responded as he pulled up at her house. "See you in training tomorrow babe." She hugged Rae from the back seat of the car, leaning over the front seat and kissed her cheek. Rae watched her walking to her house and turned back to Finn as he pulled out and they started to drive to her house.

"It's very kind of Liam to forgive us for abandoning him." Rae repeated and she saw the unimpressed look on his face before he had chance to carefully arrange his face back to neutrality. "What's that look for?" She asked him accusatorily. Finn felt himself getting defensive but gripped the steering wheel and allowed the moment to pass before he responded.

"I understand that this is a very serious and emotional situation." He said carefully, "But even so, I don't understand why you'd just forget everything he did to you." He said honestly. "Cos I certainly can't." Rae nodded her head slowly.

"It's not that I forget it." She answered with a sad voice, "It's that it just doesn't matter right now." She put a hand on his thigh, "he's in a really bad place." She told Finn, "and he needs a friend." She took a deep breath, "We have a connection… a fucked up and awful connection." She nodded and Finn smiled grimly, "and we have history… also fucked up and awful…" She admitted, "But still. We have a connection and history… he needs someone. And there's no one else." Finn had heard everything that had been said in the room.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends or something." He said, "Just… be careful." He felt bad saying it, but he couldn't bring himself to trust Liam, "don't forget what he did. It's not you who should be thankful for forgiveness. It's him."

"Alright." She conceded and Finn gave her a small smile and a quick glance before looking back at the road. "I'll be careful. And you'll try being polite to him, yeah?" Finn stayed silent for a long time, not hiding how unimpressed he was with that suggestion, but Rae waited.

"I will… try." He answered eventually. "I was planning on just not punching his skull in…" He smiled grimly, "Given what he did to you… I thought that were pretty decent o' me." He gave her a look as they pulled into her driveway, "But if you need manners. I'll try and find mine."

"Thank you." She kissed his cheek and watched him hop out of their car to open the door for her.

"But please don't ask for anything more Rae." He said softly, as they headed towards her front door. She stopped and looked at him, not sure what to make of what he was saying, "I'll never be friends with a guy who assaulted you under a fucking tree…" He reminded her of what Liam had done. "I'll never be ok with a man who hurt you like he did." Finn shook his head, "It don't matter what he's been through, I'll never forgive him."

_'Hounds of Love' by Kate Bush_

"Have you visited Liam?" She asked as she sat down on the park bench.

"Yes." There was an undeniable undertone of relief in Kester's voice, but also gravitas.

"Will he get better?" Chloe asked and Kester sighed.

"It's hard to say." He said honestly, "brain damage caused by toxic anoxia is very tricky to treat."

"But you'll be helping?" She asked urgently.

"As much as I can." He replied and she seemed to find some peace with that and settled back into the bench.

"You seem very insistent in your enquiries about Liam." Kester noted.

"I'm doing a whole lot of blaming myself." She held up her hand before he could speak, "I know." She shook her head, "I know it's not my fault, and I know I had good reason to not talk to him." She looked him in the eyes, "But we both know that sometimes the heart takes much longer to catch on than the head." Kester nodded.

"Truer words were never spoken." He smiled at her new found self-awareness and lit a cigarette.

"You seem better today?" Chloe asked, noting his clean-shaven face and less dishevelled appearance. Kester nodded slowly. He'd stayed sober since Liam had woken up. At their lunch date, he'd talked with Elsa about how he seemed to always be dancing on the edge of alcoholism, and just being able to say the words out loud to someone had put things into very ugly perspective for him: he needed to stop now before he ended up like his father.

"Much better." He replied and smiled grimly for a moment. "So how has this week treated you?" He asked staring at the river moving lazily in its bed.

"I finally had sex." She said softly, "Willingly."

"I don't think it's called sex if it's not willingly Chloe." Kester answered gently.

"I just meant that I really wanted it. I wasn't doing it to prove anything… for once." She finished in a low voice.

"What was that like?"

"Sounds like such a pervy question." She laughed.

"I suppose it does." Kester smiled, appreciating her good mood.

"It was good." She said honestly, "He was a perfect gentleman." She bit her top lip and stared off. "And Kester… you wouldn't believe it… but he stopped when I asked him to. Just stopped. No questions asked."

"As he should."

"I know. But how often does it actually happen?"

"So you didn't have sex?" Kester asked cautiously.

"No, I did it after he stopped."

"Did you go through with it because you felt you owed him because he stopped? Or felt that you should reward his good behaviour?" He furrowed his brows.

"No, I did it cos I wanted to. I really didn't think about him in that moment. I was thinking about me and how I felt and what I wanted… and I wanted him." Chloe felt herself smiling broadly, "And cos I could trust him I had him!" She said happily. "I don't think I've ever trusted a man like I trust him." She bit her top lip again. "Not even me own dad." She furrowed her brows and stared at the river.

"What's worrying you?"

"I have feelings for him." Chloe scrunched up her face further in thought.

"And why is this bad?"

"Because I really just wanna go and fuck everything with a dick, Kester." She confused, "I don't know why."

"It's a common coping strategy in rape survival; to aggressively reclaim your own body and sexuality." Kester crossed his leg and sucked on his cigarette thoughtfully.

"So I shouldn't go and have a bunch of one night stands then?"

"I can't tell you what's best for you Chloe." He answered honestly, "A lot of women don't feel very good after… one night stands." He looked away thinking about how to move forward, "Some women find it very empowering to use someone for sexual gratification for a night."

"So I just gotta do it and see?" Kester furrowed his brows at what she said.

"Tell me about this man you slept with."

"He's…" Chloe struggled to find words, "He's just Rhys." Kester knew the name, Rae had mentioned talking to him about her eating difficulties in her previous sessions. Kester had admired the advice Rhys had given Rae. "He's an enigma." She grinned to herself softly as she thought about him, "Everything about him is opposites."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I quite like it yeah." She admitted happily. "He's hard and violent Kester. And equally soft and caring. He's really smart and questions everything. But he won't question to flatten a dickhead." Kester watched the way her face it up, "He's so intimidating when you first meet him cos he got tattoos and he's so huge… but I never felt safer alone with a man than I do with him. He'd never hurt me." She looked at Kester, "He was inside o' me when I told him to stop. And he did. And he wasn't angry…" Kester raised his eyebrows.

"Impressive." He said carefully, "What did he say to you when he stopped?" Kester expected that Rhys had probably said or done something to manipulate Chloe into continuing; most young men would have.

"He got off the bed and put his pants on and talked through options for what we could do that night instead of have sex." Chloe said, "He told me that my 'no' was a complete sentence that it didn't need an explanation." Kester blinked and stubbed his cigarette out.

"Nothing else?" He asked and Chloe detected the hint of disbelief.

"I know Kester." She said, "I understand why you can't believe it." Kester started to deny his disbelief but Chloe continued, "He's a rape survivor as well." Chloe said softly, "He understands." She lowered her eyes, "He gets all of it. Like when I told him I wanted to kill them… he got it… and he understands why I wanna train so hard. He doesn't treat me like a victim." She said, "He's the only person that doesn't." She watched Kester light another cigarette, "He makes me feel powerful, and worth…" She shook her head, not knowing what to say. "Worth everything." She said finally.

"Yet you seem sad?" Kester noted the tone she used.

"Because I wish I'd met him after I'd gone through this stuff… Cos I'm not ready to be in a relationship. But I wanna be in one with him." She shook her head sadly, "But I really don't think I could have gone through with it with anyone else. It had to be him first. Cos he understood."

"So you have two competing desires." Kester watched her carefully, "On one hand, you have feelings for a man that makes you feel like survivor instead of a victim. And on the other hand, feeling like a survivor makes you want to go and test your own limits… makes you want to feel more liberated sexually?" Chloe nodded slowly as the words Kester had used sunk in.

_More liberated sexually._

_Rhys has a reputation for that…_

"Maybe I can combine them…?" She asked herself softly and Kester raised his eyebrows. "I'm gonna have to talk to Rhys."

"What do you want the outcome to be?" Kester asked her, "and what do you think he'll-"

"I can't know what he'll say. But you want me to reveal what I fear he'll say." She grinned knowingly, "I fear that he'll want me all to himself and jealously insist…" Chloe frowned, "but then, if he doesn't do that… would that mean he don't care?" Kester waited in silence, watching her sort through her thoughts and feelings, "What do I really want from him?" She asked herself and then looked up at Kester, "I'm really not sure." She sighed, "I am… quite confused."

"I think it's perfectly natural and valid to be confused." Kester said reassuringly, "you're moving through your recovery quite rapidly, but even so, sometimes things are going to arise that will confound you." He drew on his cigarette and enjoyed the sun streaming down on this beautiful summer morning. Chloe considered what he said and then sat upright, her mouth open in a big grin. "What is it?" He asked and Chloe nodded towards a man in the distance, jogging towards them.

"That's Rhys." She watched him and then began to worry slightly, "I haven't seen him since we made love." She whispered softly, "Oh fuck!" She was supposed to be seeing him in just over two hours for training, but the gang were going to be there; it was Izzy's return to training. So she had felt less nervous about that.

"What makes you nervous about seeing him?"

"I don't know." Chloe responded urgently, "What if he wishes we hadn't fucked?" She blurted out as it became obvious that he had seen her too. He came toward them, and slowed slightly, waiting for a sign from Chloe for whether he should stop or not.

"Hey." She said softly and he stopped immediately.

"Chloe." He replied calmly, his eyes resting on her gently. Kester took in the sight of what was clearly a human mountain in the process of falling in love.

"This is Kester." She said, trying to hide her nerves, and turned her eyes to Kester. Rhys looked at Kester and held out his hand and Kester shook it.

"Rhys." Rhys told him and turned his eyes back to Chloe. "I don't normally run this way," He told her, "But my first client cancelled so I had more time, so I…" Chloe wasn't used to Rhys explaining himself like this, and clearly he wasn't either. He furrowed his brows and stopped speaking, his eyes staying on her face. Kester grinned and looked away, lighting another cigarette.

"Um… I'm kinda here… for kinda therapy." Chloe answered slowly. It was hard to explain her arrangement with Kester.

_Two strangers talking. _

Rhys nodded slowly and turned his eyes back to Kester, re-appraising him before looking at Chloe again.

"How was your weekend?" She asked him and a small smile touched his lips.

"I visited some friends and we overate." He enjoyed the way Chloe grinned at that, "It was wonderful." Kester tried to be invisible as he sat on the bench next to Chloe, smoking and looking away. "Yours?"

"Spent it with the gang getting really drunk and only moderately high." She laughed, "Watched a lot of 'Monkey.' It were brilliant!" Rhys chuckled and Chloe loved the way he sounded when he laughed.

"Can I make you dinner sometime soon?" He asked her calmly, but she detected a hint of hopefulness and felt a warm buzzing sensation in the pit of her belly.

"Sure. We'll organise it at the boxing joint, yeah?"

"Of course." He smiled happily.

"And you should come to the pub next time we go too." She told him.

"I'd like that." Rhys's eyes dropped to Chloe's lips for a moment and then rose to her eyes, a genuine smile lighting up his face.

"Me too." Chloe grinned in reply.

"I better…" He indicated that he should get back to jogging and then took another look at Chloe before heading off with an almost shy goodbye. Chloe watched him jogging away with a huge smile on her face. Kester attempted to keep his face neutral as he turned back to Chloe.

"Shut up you." She tutted when she saw his face. Kester broke out into a grin as soon as she spoke.

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to." Chloe kept her eyes on Rhys until he was out of view, her insides turning inside out with nerves and mixed emotions.

"He seems to be very genuine." Kester noted.

"Rhys is as exactly as he seems." Chloe turned her eyes to Kester, "there's no games, no hidden agenda. No lies." She sighed and looked back in the direction he'd gone. "I don't know what to do with him." She bit her top lip again, pulling off a loose bit of skin. "I want him… but I also want freedom." She looked back Kester. "I feel like such a bitch for thinking that way."

"You've been under the thumb of fear and pain for months now." He countered, "It's very reasonable that you want freedom."

"But Rhys." She said wistfully and looked back up as if she could still see him running into the distance.

"Sometimes we don't realise what we want until we don't have it." Kester said softly. Chloe turned her eyes slowly to Kester.

"I want both." She said firmly, "I know that already."

_'Machinehead" by Bush_

"OW!" Chop exclaimed violently, "FUCK!" Izzy ignored him and continued to ride him aggressively. The scratch she'd just done down his chest as she came was beading blood, but Chop had forgotten that, his fingers digging into her breasts, his face a mask of concentration and ecstasy; he had to stop himself from coming too soon. She pushed his hands away from her violently and leaned down to kiss his lips passionately, Chop's hands instantly going to her hips. Izzy sat up and pulled him up with her. He wrapped his arms around her body and swung his legs off the bed sitting with her straddling him, having not stopped her rhythmic thrusting. He cupped her arse and stood up, Izzy wrapping her legs around his waist. Chop slammed her into the wall and thrust into her hard.

"YES CHOP!" She squealed, her nails scratching up his back.

"FUCK!" Chop yelled in pain again. "Jesus woman!" He said angrily but she just laughed through her loud groans of pleasure. She reached down and masturbated while he slammed into her, her head banging on the wall sometimes from the force of his thrusts. Chop's eyes opened wide.

"Are you rubbing one out while I'm fucking you?" He asked loudly.

"Yes!" She answered wildly.

"Holy fuck." Chop laughed deliriously happy. Izzy had never even masturbated; she'd admitted that to him. And now here she was doing it right in front of him, while he was inside of her. Chop focused on his breathing like he did in boxing when Finn was kicking his arse and his body ached with pain. When he focused on his breathing he could keep going and he couldn't let her down now by coming, even though this was the hottest fuck he'd ever had.

"Oh fuck!" Izzy groaned as her body shook violently, her cunt contracting around his cock exquisitely. Chop couldn't hold it anymore.

"Oh my baby girl!" He moaned loudly and Izzy held him to her as he pushed into her as deep as he could coming with load grunts, his face buried in her neck. "I love you Izzy." He moaned as he finished, panting loudly.

"I love you Arnold." She panted in return, her legs still wrapped around him tightly.

He carried her back to the bed and laid down atop her, kissing her lips deeply, her legs gently unwrapping as he stroked her hair and let his fingers trace down her cheek. He rolled off her and looked up at the ceiling, a huge dopey grin of satisfaction on his face. They clasped hands and laid, panting.

"Right." Izzy suddenly got up and looked around the room, "Gotta clean up."

"Can't we just close the fucking door?" Chop yawned and stretched out on the bed happily.

"No Chop!" Izzy answered commandingly, "It's the first time me parents'll be really seeing the place." Izzy had made him help scrub the entire kitchen, bathroom and lounge room already.

"Alright." He grumbled as he got up and went to the ensuite to deal with the condom.

"What are you doing?' She asked as she watched him throw the condom in the bin.

"Throwing the condom out…" He answered confused.

"Not in that bin Chop!" She answered irately, "I don't want me parents to know we're fucking!"

"I think they already know." Chop answered with another yawn; he was always sleepy after sex.

"Don't put it in that bin!" She commanded.

"Alright!" He replied angrily, "Where the fuck should I put it then?"

"In the rubbish bag from the lounge room. Then take it down to the skip now."

"Alright." He answered unimpressed with her moodiness.

"Don't use that tone with me Arnold!" She said as she started to make the bed and Chop groaned in frustration and looked up at the ceiling.

"Baby girl, you're fucking killing me today." He muttered to himself. This was the third time they'd fucked today, and the eighth time she'd yelled at him about housekeeping. "Sorry." He called out to her.

"Don't bother saying it if you don't mean it!" She yelled at him. Chop took the condom out into the lounge room without another word and shoved it in the bin with the rubbish from the weekend's revelries. Chop pulled his jeans on and headed to the apartment building's basement where the cars were parked and the huge rubbish skips for all the tenants were located. He took the stairs down to work off some of his frustration. He thought about yesterday's training session and the fact that everyone in the gang seemed to be paired up now. Chop and Finn had partaken in a constant running commentary to each other, noting every sign that Rhys was utterly smitten with Chloe. They had decided that at the next all boy session they'd start giving Rhys shit about it; it was too good an opportunity to miss. It had been a good day. But Izzy had tired herself out and today she was really cranky; she didn't like that she was so unfit now. Rhys had done a lot of research on the best type of recovery program for her and she had been grateful, but frustrated that the ongoing chemo limited her so much. He jogged back up the seven flights of stairs. When he got back into the apartment he heard her crying in their bedroom and went to her immediately.

"Izzy?" He asked and sat on the bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her. "What's wrong baby girl?"

"I don't know." She whimpered, "I just started crying." She looked up at him, "I don't know what's wrong with me." He stroked her face and kissed her forehead gently.

"There's nothing wrong with you. It's ok to wanna cry sometimes." He tried to comfort her. But today she really had been not quite right all day. "Come on." He said bracingly, "Let's get this place spic and span for your parents." He helped her up and she sniffed loudly and nodded.

It only took an hour to finish up cleaning the two bedrooms, the ensuite and the laundry; Izzy's desire to make everything perfect had been depleted and she seemed to be deeply exhausted.

"You alright baby girl?" He asked her as he folded up the legs on the Foosball table and leaned it against the wall.

"I feel like shit." She complained. Chop stopped cutting up the meat they'd bought to cook for dinner and turned to her as she continued to cut vegetables.

"Feel like shit how?"

"I dunno." She sighed, "You probably didn't notice but I'm feeling a bit moody today." The fact that she kept her eyes on the carrot she was cutting was lucky for Chop, because his face became so incredulous that he knew she'd be furious with him. He arranged his face into the best attempt at neutral curiosity and concern he could.

"Really?" He asked in the least inflammatory tone he could muster.

"And I just can't concentrate and… I got this thumping headache." Chop started to worry and washed his hands before starting to gently rub Izzy's temples for her. She made a content sound and closed her eyes.

"Got any other symptoms?" He asked, deeply concerned.

"I keep feeling like a fever or something come up in me all sudden like. And it's gone." She continued, "And me guts feel very unhappy."

"D'you think you might puke?" He asked her.

"Maybe." She turned and put her head on his chest.

"Should we take you to the hospital?" He looked over at the keys hanging at the door.

"No." She groaned, her face buried in his chest, "I think I'm just worried about this fucking dinner."

"What can I do?" He asked, his tongue worrying the space between his front teeth.

"Not a lot." She sighed, "Although if you properly made up with me parents that'd help."

"Yeah well maybe your father should stop being a fucking prat then."

"Chop." She sounded exhausted and Chop chided himself silently.

"Sorry." He answered heavily. He knew something about having a terrible father. "But do I really have'ta?"

"Yes Chop!" She said vehemently, snatching herself out of his arms, "I could die at any moment, we both know that." She said angrily, "I have no time to be doing things I don't wanna do. And I have no desire to be fighting with me parents." She told him firmly, "even if they are wankers sometimes." She turned back to the carrot and continued to cut it up for dinner. Chop took a deep breath and went back to the meat.

"Alright.' He answered softly. And Izzy gifted him a wan smile.

After he'd finished preparing the meat for Izzy he prepared the dining room. They had brought a collapsible table so that it could be stored in their storage cage downstairs in between parental visits. They'd also gotten 4 heavy wooden chairs with nice cushioning in mismatched colours from a second-hand store. These chairs would stay in the room with the Foosball machine in the future. He covered the table with the table cloth Izzy had chosen and put the candles she'd picked in the centre, lighting them before grabbing plates and cutlery. Izzy created a rosemary seasoned crumbing for the rack of lamb cutlets Chop had prepared for her and pressed it on to the meat, listening to him singing to himself as he set up the dining room.

"Did you get some red wine for tonight?"

"Yep." Chop answered, "Asked 'em what the best kind for lamb was and everything."

"You're such a good man." She grinned as she washed her hands. He whisked back into the kitchen and swept her up into his arms and they danced in the kitchen as he sung random lines from numerous songs, stringing them all together to make a coherent tune.

They were making love, Izzy seated on the kitchen counter, Chop standing between her thighs, tenderly kissing, Izzy moaning loudly with orgasm, Chop just teetering on the edge of orgasm when there was a knock on the door. Chop came desperately trying to be quite as Izzy started to laugh.

"Just a minute!" She called loudly before kissing Chop passionately.

"Where d'you want the condom?' He asked as he withdrew and she jumped off the counter and straightened her dress.

"Ensuite bin'll do." She answered and he gave her an incredulous look.

"What about them knowing we fuck?"

"Well I thought about it… and I'm sure they already know." She shrugged and headed to the door. Chop watched her with a confused face before realising his cock was still hanging out and she was about to open the door. He back out through the kitchen door and removed the condom as he heard Izzy greeting her parents.

"Dirty girl." He marvelled at how sweet and innocent she sounded with them as he pushed his cock back into his jeans and headed into the ensuite to dispose of the rubber. By the time he'd come back, Izzy had poured wine for everyone and Bradley already looked unimpressed.

"D'you guys wanna have a look around?" Izzy asked her parents.

"Oh yes please." Her mother smiled winningly, "Arnold!" She cooed when she saw him and gave him a big hug. Chop saw, over Victoria's shoulder, Bradley scowling at him and tried to give a welcoming smile to him.

"How much is the rent on this place?" Bradley asked as they stood on the balcony with a view over the historic town centre. It was a beautiful view.

"What? Why?" Izzy asked.

"Cos I'm not gonna help you pay for it." He answered firmly. "If you live here you should be paying your share of the rent and bills Isabella." He lectured, "Or are you freeloading here?" Izzy looked truly hurt by his words. Chop pulled an unimpressed face before remembering he was trying to make up with Bradley.

"I pay for her because her education is important to both of us." Chop answered honestly. Izzy turned her eyes to him, filled with gratitude and love.

"Hm." He said unimpressed, "What are you actually paying for boy?" Chop knew he had implied something bad by the look of horror on both women's faces, but he didn't understand what it was.

"Bradley!" Victoria admonished sternly, "How dare you?"

"You saying I'm a whore dad?" Izzy spat angrily.

"You stay in a man's house and he pays for everything… what is it you're doing in return?" He answered unrepentantly, "just calling a spade a spade." Chop felt his hands ball into fists. It took every ounce of self-control he had to not hit Bradley, but he remembered what Izzy had asked for him to do and tried to smile sweetly. He could feel that it looked like a threatening smile on his face but he didn't care.

"Izzy owns this place actually." He said in a surprisingly calm tone. "I owe her rent for being able to stay here." Chop continued, "I pay both of our bills instead." The fact that Chop was omitting that he co-owned the place was not important. Izzy took Chop's hand and looked defiantly at her father.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Bradley answered, "She can't afford a place like this."

"It was a gift." Chop answered immediately.

"From who?" Chop's smiled increased and Bradley sneered, "You?"

"That's right." Chop replied and put an arm around Izzy's shoulders. She raised her hand to take his; her engagement ring catching Bradley's eyes.

"You telling me that rock's real?" He nodded towards the ring.

"Of course it is." Chop answered and nodded towards Victoria's engagement and wedding rings, "You telling me those aren't?"

"Of course they are!" Bradley answered as if deeply offended, "How can you afford a ring like that, you're just a mechanic?"

"Dad!" Izzy admonished, "Chop likes being a mechanic." She told him.

"You can't afford a flat like this and that ring." Bradley persisted, "You're Catholic." He said the word as if it were an insult, "And Catholics are always as poor as fuck." Izzy and Victoria both looked at Bradley in shock.

"Well someone in me family must o' married a Protestant, cos we're rich as fuck." He answered and added a big toothy grin afterwards. "And I'm gonna marry your daughter. So you better relax pal, cos you and me are gonna be seeing a lot more of each other." Bradley scoffed and turned his eyes to Izzy but she was grinning up at Chop.

"This fool actually makes you happy?" He asked her and Izzy didn't even look back to her father.

"Yes."

Chop held a hand out to Bradley. He hesitated but shook Chop's hand.

"Now can you please apologise to me fiancé for saying she was a whore." Chop said firmly; it wasn't actually a request. Bradley looked back at his daughter.

"I'm sorry I said that pumpkin, I was out o' line." Izzy gave him a hug and Victoria looked over at Chop with an approving grin. "But you do need to earn some money for yourself, be independent, alright?"

"I know dad. But I gotta finish school first."

"And university." Chop added firmly and Victoria gave him another grin. Izzy led her father through to the kitchen and Victoria took Chop by the arm.

"He can be an ogre sometimes." She admitted with a grim look, "but if you learn how to handle him, he's a big teddy bear."

"Yeah just tell him I'm rich." Chop said unhappily.

"I won't deny it helped." She answered, "Are you rich?"

"Kinda." He replied, "Me dad's a gambler so that part o' me family is quite poor. But I got a tidy inheritance from me uncle. And me grandpa says he'll leave me another one, cos he says I'm making him proud."

"Because you've made something of yourself despite your father's failings." Victoria answered, "You should be proud of yourself." She told him as they dawdled in the lounge room, "You deserve that inheritance."

"I'd rather that me grandpa live for ever. He's a top bloke."

"Definitely deserve it." Victoria said with a fond smile. "D'you know, I used to be hippy?" She asked with a sardonic grin.

"Really?" He chuckled.

"My parents weren't rich… but they were well off and they had so many plans for me." She reminisced, "So of course I absconded and lived in a commune."

"How'd you meet Mr. Uptight?" Chop grinned.

"At an anti-war protest."

"He was a hippy?" He laughed.

"No. But he'd lost two brothers in war." Chop's face fell. "And there was still a third out there somewhere." She sighed, "He was so passionate and angry… I left the commune and headed back to society to be with him." She looked at Chop, "I never regretted that decision. We change who we are for the people we love. If they love us as we deserve, we never regret those changes." She put a hand on Chop's face, "I don't think my Isabella will regret hers either." Victoria had always had a soft spot for Chop and she enjoyed seeing him grow into a young man like this, getting his life together and taking care of the woman he loved.

"I'm very lucky to have her." Chop answered.

"Remember that every day and you two will be just fine." Victoria answered, "Especially remember it when she's driving you crazy. She can be quite stubborn."

"Oh I know!" Chop laughed. And they went into the kitchen happily. The first thing noticed was Izzy's hand on her lower stomach, rubbing gently. She was feeling unwell. Bradley was chatting away and hadn't noticed. As soon as Chop came into the room she smiled gratefully.

"I just gotta go to the bathroom." She said softly. Chop watched her leave and noticed blood running down the inside of her thigh, just visible below the hemline of her lose skirt. Chop tried not to show his concern and poured them both another drink.

"I think I heard Izzy call me." He said softly and left them at the dining room table. He found her sitting on the toilet, one foot on the basin, a wet flannel cleaning her thighs slowly.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I think me period's started again." She answered shocked. Chop looked at her for a moment.

"Well that's… that's good news isn't it?" He asked slowly. He remembered all the talks about how chemotherapy could affect her fertility. They'd expected her menstruation to stop and they'd been told that once she was in the third phase, the sooner it started up again the better. Both had been acutely aware that it might never start up again and she might be menopausal at 17. Izzy had been prepared for that outcome, not to be getting her period less than a week after discharge from the hospital.

"Could be." She grinned. They had to talk to her doctors to be sure, "But what I can tell you for sure, is that I have got the worst cramps I've ever had." She said softly. Chop opened the bottom drawer in the bathroom drawers; all of their medications were in this draw.

"What d'you need?" He asked feeling slightly ecstatic; Izzy might still be fertile.

_'The Beautiful People' by Marilyn Manson_

"Right girls. Now that me hair situation's under control again, I'm heading down to curvy girl boutique to pick up me dress. Gotta hide it till London." Rae pulled a face then grinned.

"Finn's gonna love you in that dress." Chloe said before she headed into Rosie, "Meet you at 'red eye.'" Chloe said and closed the door behind her. Rae turned to Izzy.

"You'll be right?"

"Yep." She grinned.

"See you at red eye." Rae left the waxer and enjoyed the way her hairless legs felt against her jeans. She stepped out into the street and looked up and down the road before turning left towards curvy girl boutique. Rae was excited to finally get the violet dress she'd put on lay-by months ago. She walked in and Sarah was behind the counter.

"Heya Rae!" She said with a huge grin, her thick Irish accent making Rae instantly happy.

"Hey!" Rae grinned, "It's happening today." Sarah was literally the cutest human being when she clapped her hands in excitement.

"Oh that's exciting!" She gushed, "Let me get it from out the back." She unlocked the door behind the counter and disappeared for a few minutes, returning with Rae's beautiful 1950's inspired dress. "Now, does it need fitting?"

"No, it already fits like a glove!" Rae answered happily and produced the last £15.

"I wish I'd worked here when they brought this line out." Sarah sulked, "I'd o' snapped it up in no time!" Rae looked around the store, noticing a beautiful high-waisted pencil skirt that she'd seen Elsa wearing.

"I'm sure you'll survive!"

"Oh aye!" She grinned. "Especially since we get a 50% discount."

"You what?" Rae asked, stunned. "Got any jobs going?" She joked.

"Aye, Katie goes on maternity leave in September." Sarah answered happily, "Want me to put in a word to Michelle for you?"

"Oh aye!" Rae said enthusiastically. "I'll be away in London for a bit, but I'll be back before September for a work trial if she wants."

"I'll give her your number." Sarah said as she bagged up the dress. "It'd be so fun working with you. And you could teach me more about music."

"Yeah!" Rae agreed, "I'll see you around Sarah." Rae stepped out of the store feeling particularly good and headed towards red eye.

Up ahead a glimmering image of perfection stepped out of the lingerie store that never stocked Rae's size. She wore a yellow sundress, her brown hair bouncing down her back as she walked down the street toward Rae.

"Oh shit." Rae breathed as she recognised Olivia.

"Rae!" Olivia suddenly said, her voice exuberant and sounding pleased to see her. She raised her hand to wave to her. Rae grinned tightly and waved back, knowing that as soon as they were close enough Olivia would talk to her.

"Hi Olivia." Rae said as Olivia kissed her cheek happily.

"Rae, how are you?"

"Oh you know." Rae answered, her mind filling up with all the things Finn had said about Olivia.

_I'm so sorry for Olivia Rae._

_She was so beautiful. I understand why you'd want to be with her._

_It weren't like that._

"You?" Rae's voice cracked slightly and she cleared her throat.

"I'm great!" She answered with a huge smile.

_Olivia were giving me signs that she were keen on me. I weren't even slightly interested. I just kept thinking about you Rae. _

"Been doing anything interesting?" Rae wanted to kick herself for not just saying goodbye straight away.

_I ain't listening to anything that she saying to me; she pretty boring. She weren't you._

"Oh yeah!" Olivia said, "My sister just gave birth. Cutest little thing you can imagine."

_I dunno what happened but… until then… I think I had hope that it were all a mistake and we'd end up back together. I were feeling pretty shite, but after what Chlo said… you was fucking Liam… I were gutted_

"Oh aye!" Rae said as happily as she could.

_I… kinda lost myself a bit. I took Olivia to her car._

"Little munchkin is only a month old but he's already ruling the house." Olivia was such a nice genuine person. Rae felt her insides clenching.

_And… I fucked her. Hard. In the back seat._

"That's what babies are like." Rae answered numbly with a huge fake smile.

_I took her from behind cos I didn't want'a see her face. _

"It's made me quite clucky and I never used to be!" She laughed. "I just need to find a man now."

_And every time she turned to look at me over her shoulder, I'd stop her._

"Well that would help." Rae answered softly.

_I hated her._

"D'you still have contact with Finn?" She asked and Rae raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth slowly.

_I tried to fuck you out of me system Rae. _

"Yeah." Rae answered awkwardly, "I still see him." She furrowed her brows, not sure how much to tell Olivia, "Quite a bit."

_The first time I had sex, I hated the women it were with. I hated her cos she weren't you. It weren't what I imagined it'd be. _

"Great!" Olivia beamed, "Can you tell him I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to him, but with work and becoming an aunt I've been run off my feet! But that I'm keen for the dinner date we tried to organise and that this Friday night at our place would be perfect." She grinned.

_So after that we kinda fell into dating. _

"Our place?" Rae asked, "Wait, what?" She shook her head, "Dinner date?" Rae tried to keep the angry tone out of her voice.

_I decided that I should try to put you behind me and that I'd give it a real go with Olivia. _

"The restaurant we met in." Olivia said, "It was quite romantic really." She told Rae, "He's a great listener." Rae nodded slowly.

_She were a nice lass really. _

"So you guys are gonna get back together?" Rae asked incredulously.

_She just weren't for me._

"I hope so." Rae took in her hopeful face and narrowed her eyes.

"Why would you want to?" She asked, the things Finn had said churning through her mind. Olivia looked around the street to make sure no one was looking.

"He's quite a good lover." She said in hushed tones. "I miss that about him."

"Yeah I know." Rae answered suddenly and Olivia pulled back slightly.

"You've…?" She paused and gave an incredulous look. "I thought you two were just friends…?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why would you wanna get with a guy who fucked you from behind and wouldn't look at you?" Olivia's mouth opened in surprise and she shook her head.

"That is none of your business!" She hissed, "And that wasn't the way it always was." She added, "Sometimes he was rough like that, but other times he was so gentle he'd nearly cry from it." She said pointedly, "I doubt he ever had that much emotion for you!" She said angrily, "He was probably just using you." She looked Rae over and looked shocked about the whole conversation.

"Oh aye?" Rae said stunned, a sinking sensation in her stomach.

_Finn's been tender and cried with Olivia?_

"I'm sorry Rae." She said suddenly, "That was so wrong and so rude of me to say!" She looked genuinely apologetic and Rae shrugged, "I just can't believe he told anyone about that." She explained and Rae put on a false smile.

"It's fine." She answered quietly, "But you're better off waiting until early September for your dinner date." Rae kept her eyes lowered, "I hear he's going to London for the school holidays."

"Great. Can you tell him the first Friday night of September, at 7pm?"

"Yeah I will." Rae still didn't look up.

"Rae I'm really sorry." Olivia tried again, "It was such a nasty thing to say, I'm not normally like that." She took Rae's hand in hers, "I didn't mean it." She lowered her eyes, "I was a bit jealous that he'd been with someone else." She said softly and Rae scoffed.

"You guys haven't been together for a while. O' course he's been with someone else, looking the way he does." Rae told herself as much as Olivia.

"Of course…" Olivia said slowly, "please forgive me Rae."

"It's fine." Rae answered.

"Oh you've had a taste of him, you know what it's like to want him to yourself!" She tried to explain again, "I didn't mean to be a bitch." Rae nodded and looked up into Olivia's eyes.

"And what makes you think that he wasn't just using you for sex?"

"Well…" Olivia stopped, stunned at the idea, "Well we had a relationship." She answered.

"And what makes you think that Finn and I don't?" Olivia almost managed to conceal her scoff and Rae shook her head and looked away.

"Well, because you guys are such good mates." Olivia answered, "Neither of you would wanna ruin the friendship, right?" Rae turned her eyes back to Olivia.

"O' course." She answered and Olivia's slightly worried look instantly turned to happiness. "You guys must o' had something real special for those few weeks." Olivia narrowed her eyes slightly and then smiled stiffly.

"Well I think I'll go now." She kissed Rae's cheek, "Have a fabulous day!" She said almost genuinely and Rae watched her leave.

_Stupid Olivia with her perfect body and her beautiful face and her…_

_And how fucking deluded was she?_

Rae watched her walking away, but she couldn't stop the niggling thought from resurfacing.

_Finn made tender love to her and cried._

_What? _

_That can't be true…_

She pushed the thought from her mind, turned and headed to red eye, the tiny music shop selling CDs, tape, records, videos, band merchandise and bongs and marijuana if you knew how to ask for it. It had an amazing selection of music and Rae always found so many things she wanted when she was there. She had been saving up her money for some time, including the money that Gary would slip her. At first she'd tried to refuse it, but Finn had told her it was no use. She'd managed to not only pay off her dress, but save £100. She was going to get at £50 gift card for Finn and the other fifty quid… well she had a plan for that too. When she got to the store Izzy and Chloe were inside having cut through the car park to come through the back entrance to the store.

"Raemundo!" Benji called out from behind the counter. Ben was one of Chop's mates, he'd gone to Knebworth, he also supplied the pot and the gig tickets.

"Benji, me lad!" He jumped over the counter and gave her a hug. "How you been?"

"Got Chops tickets for the V festival." He grinned.

"Well that finalises the plans for our holidays!" Rae grinned over at Izzy and Chloe who were looking at CDs quietly. They both looked nervous; red eye was a place for music experts, and they were absolute novices by the standards held here.

"Might come along!" He added. Izzy and Chloe wondered over.

"That'd make Chop happy." Izzy answered and Benji blinked at her.

"When d'you ladies get here?" He drew them into a hug and Chloe gave Rae an amused look; Benji was clearly hammered again.

"A little while ago." Chloe answered. Benji guffawed happily and went back to his counter and climbed over it. He could walk around, but he never did. That wasn't benji's style. He produced the tickets and handed them to Rae.

"Eight?" She asked.

"He said something about boyfriends might be coming?" He shrugged and Rae turned her eyes to Chloe.

"Guess I better invite him then." She said with a small grin, "But he's not me boyfriend." Rae raised her eyebrows and looked away.

"Didn't say he was." She answered with a repressed smile. "I also need to get fifty quid gift card for Finn." She told Benji and he shook his head.

"If it's for our Finn, you can have double that." He wrote out the gift card for £100 and handed it to her, only taking £50 in return.

"Won't you get in trouble?" Izzy asked.

"They won't notice!" He laughed, "Too baked."

"Thanks Benji." Rae said with a huge grin, "How am I gonna repay you?"

"Buy me a drink one day!" He laughed and she nodded.

"At the V Festival."

"Done and dusted!" He agreed with a stoned grin.

_'These Arms of Mine' by Otis Redding_

Archie's insides tingled and fizzed; sung even. They had been kissing, making love with just their mouths, for hours, fully clothed, just kissing. Archie stopped to look in Tom's eyes and he was greeted by a lazy, happy smile. Tom reached up and stroked Archie's face.

"What were we supposed to be doing?" Archie asked with a shy grin.

"This seems about right to me." Tom ran his hand slowly down Archie's side and nestled himself against Archie closer and Archie felt an ache inside; at the very core of his being. He felt a deep, yearning need for Tom.

"I need you." Tom said softly, looking at Archie's lips and then back to his eyes. "I haven't needed anyone since I was 15 and could hold a job down. Got outta my parents' house quick smart and haven't looked back." He grinned, "Haven't… needed anyone since." Archie stroked his hair and smiled happily. "But I simply can't do without you."

"That's exactly what I was thinking." Archie said honestly.

"You know, I've noticed that we seem to be… very… synchronised?" Tom said, "Not the right word…"

"In tune." Archie said, "We're soul mates." He grinned.

"I don't believe in soul mates." Tom answered cheekily.

"Except for us." Archie said firmly, as if it were never in question.

"Of course!" Tom laughed. "From the first moment I met you…" Tom shook his head, "You had me."

"You know, when I looked at you in your car after that shite with Simmy, I thought you looked like some sort of Greek god." Archie laughed.

"Oh yeah?" Tom chuckled, "Glad my looks finally paid off for me." He stroked Archie face.

"You're even more beautiful now." Archie laid his weight down on Tom and Tom wrapped his arms around him.

"When I first saw you, I saw this awkward vulnerable lion that hadn't realised he was king of the jungle yet." Tom looked over at Archie's glasses on the coffee table and saw their reflection, laying across the lounge, in the television screen. "So if I'm a Greek god, would you be Prometheus or Coeus?"

"Going for titans huh?' Archie laughed.

"Well you could be Eros…" Tom kissed his forehead and Archie laughed.

"Been doing your research?" Archie asked impressed.

"I know you like that kind of stuff." Tom admitted, "You could be Zeus; the god of all gods."

"Oh right?" Archie chuckled, "Well you're definitely Eros!"

"Alright, and who gets to sleep with Eros?"

"I think everyone does." Archie said drolly and Tom broke out into laughter.

"So I guess you're my everyone then."

"I thought you wanted to do some threesomes and foursomes." Archie asked, "Hardly makes me your everyone."

"Yeah I s'pose." Tom shrugged, "Don't have to." He caught Archie's eye, "I've done them before so I'm used to doing that kind of thing but…" He shrugged. "I mean, do you want to?"

"I dunno." Archie answered honestly, "I mean I quite like the idea of picking up a lad and schooling him together."

"Oh yeah?" Tom gave him a wicked grin.

"But then… I think I like just having you to myself."

"I am of the same mind." Tom replied almost whimsically, "So, I leave it up to you."

"Let's just play it by ear." Archie answered with a shrug.

"Sounds perfect." Tom said, "I knew you'd come up with the perfect answer."

"I can't believe you researched Greek gods." Archie replied with a wry grin.

"Gotta keep you interested." Tom joked.

"You don't need to try for that. Trust me."

"No but I do." Tom said seriously, "I've never done this whole, stay together thing. At all. Let alone with the idea of it being for the rest of our lives." Archie was surprised to detect a hint of vulnerability in his voice. "I don't want you to get bored of me."

"Impossible." Archie reassured him.

"And I want to anyway." Tom shrugged, "I like knowing all about the things you like."

"Well you'll have to teach me how to program a computer." Archie joked, already knowing his answer. He watched Tom pull a face and make a disgusted noise.

"That's a job, not something I like." He looked up at Archie's face, "Fucking tease." He laughed. "You know I hate it!"

"You need to get a career you love."

"I've never thought about it because I've just been working since I was 15." He said honestly, "Working and saving my money." He grinned, "So I could take my boyfriend overseas."

"I've got a little bit of money saved too!" Archie laughed.

"Even if you didn't." Tom shrugged, "I don't mind." He stretched a little and Archie shifted his weight before they melted comfortably back into each other.

"So… what would you do if you could do what you loved?" Archie persisted.

"You know Rhys and I were talking about opening up our own training gym." Archie detected that Tom was testing the waters with him, "Get away from Dean and those dickheads." Tom mulled it over, "you know Dean told Rhys he was a shit trainer for not hitting up Rae harder so she'd lose weight."

"What a fucking arse." Archie replied angrily.

"Dean likes his women how his dick is." Tom grinned.

"Too skinny." Archie laughed.

"You know, I agree with Rhys's philosophy; it's more important and productive to be focussing on health and wellbeing than what size a person is." He shook his head, "I told Dean that, told him Rae was quite healthy and he scoffed and said," Tom mimicked Dean's voice, "'No fat bird can be healthy."

"Ugh." Archie pulled a face. "Wanker."

"We thought we could open a gym that was more friendly to women. The boxing joint is quite man focused." Tom continued, "And Rhys was interested in health for differently abled people as well." He grinned thoughtfully, "A more inclusive sort o' place."

"Is that what you wanna do?"

"Yeah." Tom said honestly, a touch of fear in his voice, "I really do. It's such a good idea and Rhys is such a great trainer." He took a deep breath, "And working for myself would be far nicer than working for a bunch o' knob heads."

"But?"

"But what if it fails?" He asked with a grimace.

"It won't." Archie said resolutely.

"I hope so." Tom said, "Cos I just gave half my money to Rhys to buy some premises and get it started." Tom said softly and Archie shot up and looked at him in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah… well…" Tom said shyly, "You got me thinking I can do just about anything Archie." He bit his bottom lip and grinned, "So… so I'm doing it."

"That's amazing!" Archie kissed Tom passionately and Tom's entire body responded to Archie's lips. He groaned deeply. Archie settled back into Tom's arms with a happy grin.

"It'll be at least six months till the place is ready to open." Tom said, "So we got plenty of time to head overseas in that time."

"Don't you need to be here?"

"Not for all of it, I've already talked it over with Rhys." He stroked Archie's hair and Archie could feel his body go tense, could almost feel Tom's blood thumping in his veins, "I'm kinda hoping it's the last decision I have to make by myself." He added softly.

"What d'you mean?" Archie furrowed his brows.

"I was thinking… wondering…" Tom cleared his throat and looked away. Archie had never seen him nervous like this and he grinned stupidly, enchanted by everything Tom did.

"Wondering?" He prodded.

"Wondering…" Tom turned his eyes back to Archie, "If maybe… you wanted to move in with me?" Archie raised his eyebrows and stared at Tom for a long moment, "It's ok if you don't." Tom said softly and lowered his eyes momentarily, "I mean, we got plenty of time for that." He looked back up at Archie, "It's just that those nights that you're not here… those nights are getting harder." Archie opened his mouth in surprise.

"Seriously?" Archie asked in disbelief. Tom had always been a very free spirit, not to be held down in things like relationships. Archie had known that before he'd agreed to go out with Tom. Archie had known that even as he fell in love with Tom. Archie knew that now, as his mind scrambled to realise that Tom had fallen as hard and as fast as he himself had.

"Archibald Alexander Kristoff Milton," Archie laughed and Tom grinned, "Will you move in with me?"

"Yeah." Archie answered nodding his head slowly, "Yeah I will." Tom's lips were on Archie's instantly, his kisses sweet and insistent. Archie's mind was blissfully blank for a few moments as they poured their love into each other. After a while thoughts and worries crowded into Archie's blissful reverie and he pulled back and looked Tom in the eye.

"But I don't earn a lot of money from the leisure centre." He said and pulled a face.

"That's alright, you can be a kept man." Tom laughed.

"No but I wanna pay me own way."

"Well Rhys was saying we should offer you and Chop and Finn jobs at our place when it opens." He said with a grin, "That'll help."

"But when I'm at uni…?"

"We'll figure something out." Tom shrugged, "Besides, the way I understand relationships is that whatever's mine is yours now Archie." Tom said simply. "I'm not gonna complicate things by worrying about things like money." Tom told him, "I can afford to support you until you earn millions with your university education." Archie laughed.

"Hardly millions!" Archie laughed, "I don't think my field of interest is one that makes a lot of money."

"Oh well.' Tom said, "I'll hold onto my other jobs until the business takes off." He shrugged, "I own this flat, so we'll always have a roof over our heads." He said, "We'll make it work."

"I believe you." Archie grinned and leaned in for a kiss which Tom gratefully returned.

"Let's make love." Tom whispered to him. Archie groaned in agreement.

"But later on I'm trying you down and working you over." Archie said with that devastatingly sexy grin of his that Tom adored.

"Oh you're a man after me own heart Archibald!" They moulded their bodies together in a comfortable embrace and kissed slowly, sensually, for some time before they began to undress each other. Archie didn't even think about what his parents would say, or what the gang would say, he didn't care really, he knew he was making the right decision.

_'Sour Times' by Portishead_

Finn took a moment to really appreciate the sun on his bare torso and watched Rae as she thoughtfully rubbed the soapy cloth over the bonnet of the car. She reached up as high up the bonnet as she could, leaning her chest on the already sudsy car and Finn grinned expectantly. As soon as she stood up from her work he bit his bottom lip, watching the way the now wet shirt clung to her breasts. He dunked his own cloth in his bucket of soapy water and started on the roof. She didn't notice her shirt clinging to her chest and Finn continued to steal glances at her, noting that her face was staying serious.

"What you thinking 'bout my serious girl?" He looked over again as he worked.

"Still can't believe Jeff Buckley's dead."

"Aye me either." Finn reflected sadly.

"I suppose it's only been 2 months. It'll take time to…" She took a deep breath and sighed. "I haven't been this upset since Kurt Cobain died though." She said glumly and Finn grinned to himself.

"Grunge is shite." He teased, not really meaning it, but knowing it riled her up.

"Not the original stuff!" She said angrily, "Alright nowadays people trying to do it is just kinda sad, but back in the day-"

"Back in the day." Finn laughed and Rae threw her cloth at him in response.

"You really wanna play that game girl?" He asked, easily catching her cloth. She picked up her bucket and threw the water at him so suddenly that he was left soaked, Rae laughing uproariously, the empty bucket dangling from her hand. Finn gasped and looked down at the water dripping from his body.

"It's on girl!" He warned, Rae dashed behind their car and Finn bypassed the bucket and went straight for the hose.

"That's cheating!" She cried out when she saw him turning on the tap, water spurting from the hose in a strong torrent.

"I gotta win somehow!" He chased her up the side of the car, Rae screaming the whole way, and caught her around the waist, pointing the hose at her chest while Rae laughed loudly. He let her go and sprayed her backside with the hose before she turned around to try and grab the hose from him. Finn aimed it at her groin and Rae hit his arm, knowing what he was doing. She grabbed the hose head and they fumbled with it, the head popping off and spraying them both with water. Their loud giggles were suddenly cut through by Linda's shrill voice.

"Water isn't free, you two!" She called from the front door.

"Sorry mum." Rae said seriously as Linda turned to go back inside, muttering under her breath. Linda had been more money conscious lately; having two daughters to pay for was proving to be difficult, and having to feed Finn half the time was really not cheap. Rae filled up the buckets again and put some car wash detergent in them. Finn put on his best serious face and continued to wash the car, his eyes on Rae's body as her clothes clung to her perfectly.

"So Benji got the tickets for the V festival and Chop's shouting us all." Rae told him and Finn nodded.

"Well we better make sure Chop doesn't have to pay for his own booze or… other stuff at the gig." Finn replied and Rae nodded emphatically.

"So it's on the 16th and 17th." Rae was planning their August rapidly and Finn grinned happily, listening to her. "So we'll head down to London on the 13th. That's the Wednesday."

"Chop can't get that much work off." Finn answered.

"No that's alright, I want us to have the night alone."

"Well we can head up on Thursday for that…"

"No it has to be Wednesday." Rae said firmly, thinking about what Rhys had said.

"Ok…" Finn answered slowly, catching on that she had something planned. "Maybe we can go up on the 12th." He said, "Give us plenty o' time."

"Good plan." She grinned happily, "I'll tell Chlo and Arch that they can head down on Thursday or Friday." She said firmly and Finn nodded.

"And Chop and Izzy can't come till Friday, but he's managed to get the whole next week off."

"Go' Joe's good to him!" Rae marvelled; Chop had taken a lot of time off due to Izzy's illness. "So we'll head back on the 24th then." She figured out the dates in her head.

"It's Chop's birthday on the 21st."

"Oh fuck he's gonna wanna go huge!" Rae laughed. "So we're celebrating the three boy birthdays!" She mused, "I do hope it's suitably epic."

"I have a feeling we're prob'ly not gonna remember most of it." Finn answered with a satisfied expression.

"Most likely." Rae agreed.

"We gotta head to my place after this." Finn told her and Rae looked over at him questioningly. "Dad's picking up something for me this after." Finn said, "Something I got professionally done." He grinned at her concerned face. "They'll be all wrapped up so he can't see them." Finn reassured her.

"What are they?" Rae furrowed her eyebrows and Finn started to hose off the car.

"Wanna wax it?" He deliberately ignored her question.

"Oh aye, and buff up the silver." She told him and leaned back on the garage door.

"Oh so I'm doing it?" He laughed.

"Well I've never waxed a car before, I don't know how to."

"I'll show you." He said, "It's not that hard."

It took them an hour to finished waxing and buffing the car and cleaning the inside. Rae lovingly applied leather protector to the seats and dashboard protector to the dash and steering wheel; Finn had supplied all the cleaners and protectors for her.

"I'll give her a good service after the holidays." Finn told Rae as they finished up. "Right," He turned to Rae, "Let's have a nice hot shower, and we'll take the bike back to mine yeah?"

They climbed the stairs to Rae's room, Linda making loud tutting noises about the water they were dripping through the house. Rae peeled her wet clothes off and Finn was almost sorry to see them go. But he much preferred her naked anyway. He looked over at the closed curtain and sighed internally. He'd been keeping a lookout for cars parked in the only spot that could see in through her window, but hadn't seen any. Still, he felt safer keeping the curtains closed in Rae's room too. They were never open now. He'd be glad when they moved into a place together and they could put this place behind them. He stripped off his pants and Rae gathered them all together, planning to put them in the laundry before they left.

"I got you a little something." He said and went to his backpack. He took out a book and passed it to her. Rae looked down at it and grinned happily. It was a new diary. "I saw your old one was pretty much full up." He smiled that closed mouthed grin of his.

"I love you." Rae kissed him, Finn happily wrapping his arms around her waist, "Thank you." Rae felt a little choked up; he understood how important the diaries were. "Do you wanna read it?" She asked him and he shrugged.

"I don't need to."

"I don't mind if you do." She told him honestly.

"I know." Finn took in her face, feeling wonderfully content with life, "but it's good for you to have a private space that's only yours." He kissed her lips gently, "I love you Miss Earl." He whispered to her softly. "C'mon." They laced their fingers through each other's and headed for the shower, Finn putting it on before peeing. Rae looked in the mirror while she waited for it to warm up, her eyes fell to the scars around her neck almost instantly, as they always seemed to do nowadays.

_We survived._

She told her reflection silently.

_And he's not coming back_

Her internal voice sounded firm and confident.

_We're safe._

She turned her eyes to Finn as he finished up and flushed the toilet. She told herself these three things every day, multiple times. Kester had talked about post-traumatic stress disorder to both of them and she knew that they were both exhibiting symptoms of it, but she also knew that they'd get through this together. She had spoken to Kester about Finn's unreasonable temper and fear about her being alone, and his jealousy over Phil; how they had seemed amplified and Kester had said that it was very possible that this was due to Finn's PTSD. It was the nightmares that were the worst though. And they were getting progressively worse for Rae; more abstract and strangely horrifying. But as Kester had said; you can't have a man threaten your life, nearly kill you, then escape, and have no side effects. Side effects; that made Rae think of how much Kester had been smelling of alcohol since Liam's not-suicide attempt. She sighed and blew a raspberry at herself, noticing Finn, already in the shower, watching her, she poked her tongue out at him and he raised his eyebrows suggestively. As soon as she was in the shower they were kissing, Finn gently pushing her against the wall, pressing his body against her. Rae groaned happily and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her pelvis into him. Finn's hand travelled down her body, so familiar to him now, but no less exciting and awe-inspiring. His fingertips travelled through her pubic hair and slid between the warm folds of her cunt. He started to rub her clitoris in exactly the way he knew she liked, kissing her neck passionately. Rae was breathing lustily, her body aching to have sex with him. It was strange how she ached for him as if she'd never had sex with him before, still after all these months. She focused on his fingers on her clitoris, ready for the pleasure to start building up in her. But it wasn't. Finn continued to kiss her neck, now licking from between her breasts up to her chin, he enjoyed doing that and she quite liked it too. Her body felt ready for sex, she felt excited and ready for stimulation… But what Finn was doing wasn't working. She knew that it should be working; this is what he normally did and she normally loved it. She shifted her weight slightly, seeing if that would help him hit a better angle or something. He paused, sensing her confusion, her lack of full arousal and pleasure.

"Alright girl?" He asked and slid his fingers from her clitoris to inside of her. The minute he did that she groaned happily and he gave her a slightly confused look.

"Yeah." She sighed as he moved his fingers inside of her. Rae rolled her head back and felt the pleasure finally building in her body. Finn watched her for a moment, worried that she had taken so long to get going but then shrugged it off and dove into kissing her breasts. Rae felt that she knew what was wrong; she couldn't have clitoral orgasms while standing up because her legs shook too much, so her body had just shut that down for her. That made sense. Because she could orgasm vaginally standing up, and as soon as he'd gotten his fingers off her clitoris and into her vagina the pleasure had flared through her insides. She didn't let herself think about the many times he'd made her cum in the shower, leaned up against her, his weight helping her hold herself up when she came and her legs shook violently. She just enjoyed the pleasure and the feel of him kissing and touching her. She focused on the way he felt under hands and closed her eyes, letting her other senses take over.

Finn kissed down her body and knelt before her, Rae lacing her fingers through his hair, he lifted up her leg and started to lick happily at her pussy. Rae groaned, the pleasure was intense.

"Finn." She gasped, and he knew she couldn't cum from oral standing up, but he did like to push it as far as he could. He could feel her body tensing up with the pleasure and saw her grasp hold of the shower head, in fear her legs wouldn't hold her up anymore. He stopped abruptly and got up, kissing her lips.

"Finish this at my house, yeah?" He said and got out of the shower without waiting for a reply.

"Arsehole." She said to his back and he chuckled. Rae didn't let herself think about the fact that when Finn put his mouth on her clitoris while she was standing up that didn't seem to stop the pleasure like his fingers touching her there had. No, she pushed the thought from her mind and just watched the way his body moved as he dried himself.

When they got to Finn's house, Finn picked up a package that had been left on the kitchen table for him. Gary was nowhere to be seen, and grateful for not having to make small-talk when she was so horny, Rae immediately headed upstairs, Finn followed with a knowing smile on his face. She sat on the bed and let her eyes fall upon the package in Finn's hand.

"What's in your package?" She asked suggestively. Finn chuckled and unwrapped it slowly as he walked to the far wall above his desk. Rae noticed that there were three nails in the wall and cocked her head to the side; they were new. Finn turned to look at her with a huge grin.

"I finally finished them." He said and held up the first of three charcoal drawings of her from the live model session she'd done. They were 60 by 80 centimetres, portrait orientation. He leaned over his table and hung them on his wall, the standing one central, the seated one to the left, the lying one to the right.

"You can't put them on your wall!" Rae said in horror, "Your dad'll see 'em!"

"Can't see this wall from the door." Finn said, clearly having thought it through, "And he doesn't come in past the door anymore." Rae felt herself drawn to look at them and slowly crept across the room to him, her eyes glued to the drawings.

"Wow." She breathed, barely making a sound, but Finn turned his eyes from his drawings to her.

"Cost a bundle to get 'em framed." He shook his head, "Can't believe how much they charge!" He looked back at them, "But they're worth it." Rae took in his drawings of her, clearly drawn by the hand of someone who loved her, but strangely accurate down to the stretchmarks on her stomach.

"You flatter me in 'em." She cocked her head to the side, unable to believe she looked that good.

"I drew you honestly." He answered firmly. "As you are." He watched her from the corner of his eye "Y'are beautiful you know."

"They're so sexual." She said, blushing to think that nearly 30 people had seen her like this.

"Well you were eye-fucking me the whole time." He grinned and she chuckled softly.

"I was." She admitted.

"It was very sexy." He laced his arm around her waist and she kept looking at the drawings taking in every line of them.

"They're beautiful." She said after a long while.

"Well that's cos the subject matter is beautiful." He watched a pleased grin turn up the corners of her mouth.

"No I mean you're really talented." She told him, still pleased that she looked so good in them.

"I worked hard at it." He said honestly, "it's not talent. It's hard work. But I loved every minute of it."

"Well you can draw me whenever you want." She said suddenly, "Gotta keep your skills sharp."

"Good cos I wanna draw you naked next." She turned to face him and raised her eyebrows.

"As long as it doesn't go up on the wall!"

"I promise." He grinned. "I wish I'd learned oil paints though." He lamented with a sigh. "I miss Janice."

"Yeah." Rae looked back at the artworks, "But we'll see her again. It must be hard moving to London and starting a new job." Rae comforted them both, "We'll hear from her soon. I know it."

"Aye." Finn said sadly, not sure if he believed it. He understood Janice's departure better than Rae; he'd done it himself when he'd fled to Leeds. "Now where were we Mrs Nelson?" He asked her and drew her into his arms, tilting his pelvis towards her. Rae groaned and looked back at his bed, Finn lifted her up again and she so wanted to wrap her legs around him, but she was scared to, in case he couldn't handle her weight when she moved. They fell onto the bed together Finn pulling at her clothes instantly. His hand crept down to her cunt and he groaned happily when his fingers found her wet and ready for him.

"Little bit horny are you?" He asked and she groaned.

"You know I am!" She hissed in mock anger. Finn traced his fingers around her clitoris and Rae instantly felt nothing. She felt her stomach clench in panic a moment later and felt her mind pulling in a direction she didn't want it to go. She shook her head softly, to focus and pushed down on Finn's shoulders. He chuckled, not having picked up on her moment of discomfort.

"Demanding aren't you?" He grinned.

"Go down." She ordered and a lusty light came into his eyes.

"Aye, you can say that to me, just like that, any time you want." He answered, clearly excited by her giving him orders.

"Go down!" She said firmer and he wasted no time in replying. His obedient response and instant licking and sucking on her clitoris pushed all other thoughts from Rae's; he'd never sucked on it before.

"Holy fuck!"

Finn dried his hair and watched Rae still enjoying the shower. The last few days had been golden; no fights, lots of small moments together, great sex and plenty of time with their mates. He loved summer holidays. This time of year would always have a special place in his heart because he'd met her during summer holidays. He heard a knock on the door downstairs and leaned into the shower.

"Someone's at the door." He told her and she nodded, "Back in a mo." He sauntered into his room and found the cleanest pair of jeans he could, grimacing and deciding he'd have to do some more laundry soon, the load Rae had done recently was only half of what needed doing. He heard Rae turn off the shower and sighed that he wouldn't get to watch her dry herself; everything she did fascinated and awed him. He could watch her do anything at all for hours on end. He heard the door knock again and gave up trying to find a clean shirt on the floor and headed downstairs topless, kissing Rae at the door to the bathroom on the way. Rae headed into the bedroom and quickly dried herself intending to throw on clothes and head downstairs straight after Finn, hoping that it was Janice at the door. Her eyes flitted back up to the drawings and she imagined the way Janice would gush over them.

Downstairs Finn was stretching and plodding towards the door, stifling a happy yawn. He opened the door and his face instantly fell.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked but she just stepped into the house and walked straight to the lounge. She sat down and watched him as he stood shirtless, still holding the door open and glaring at her.

"We need to talk." She said softly and Finn cocked a head at her.

"Are you fucking mad?" He said, "I got nothing to say to you." He gave her a sneer of distaste and nodded towards the open door, "you can go now."

"I'm not going until you sit down and have a civilised discussion with me Finn." Stacey demanded and he rolled his eyes and closed the door. "We need to be completely honest with each other before I go off to university!" He sat down in his dad's chair, annoyed that Stacey had chosen to sit where Rae normally sat. He sat their staring at her, trying to mimic the look of distaste Rhys gave him the night of the summer ball.

"Alright. Complete honesty." He agreed finally.

Rae came down the stairs and was surprised at the silence. She peeked through the slightly ajar kitchen door and her jaw dropped, Stacey was sitting on the lounge, Finn staring at her from his father's armchair. She could only see the back of Stacey's head, but she'd know that stupid ponytail anywhere. She saw Finn's face, and wondered what he was thinking letting her in like this.

"I know you're angry at me." She said softly.

"Right." Finn answered disinterestedly and Rae felt herself smile.

"I shouldn't have told everyone that we had sex." Finn watched her lower her eyes in remorse and took a deep breath to stop himself from rolling his eyes. His tongue went to his back teeth as it often did when he was thoroughly unimpressed.

"Right." He made himself say.

"I just thought…" She stopped and looked down, "We got so close to doing it." She said so softly that Rae almost didn't hear her, "And I figured that we'd get there the next time we were alone, so it was as good as done in my mind."

"But it wasn't done." Rae felt her stomach tingle happily; she'd been right to trust Finn so completely. He really hadn't lied to her about it. It was a strange thing to be so elated by this confirmation when she had believed him anyway. But she was elated, and her mind went to what Olivia had said; could she be lying too?

"Probably." She whispered to herself.

"I'm sorry Finn." She said, "I just figured that any lad would be happy to have people think he'd scored with the fittest girl in school."

"I'm not any lad."

"No." Stacey agreed, "You're really not." She took a deep breath and scooted forward on the seat coming to its edge and leaning forward towards him in his armchair, desperately trying to be closer to him and Finn gave her a disapproving scowl.

"Why are you here?" He asked her in an attempt to hurry her up and get her out. But Stacey took it as a sign of curiosity, a chance to win him back.

"No other lad is like you." She said softly, "The way you loved me was…"

"I didn't love you." Finn said sharply and watched her flinch.

"Yes you did." She answered softly, "I know you did."

"Stacey." Finn said firmly, "I'm in love with Rae, so this conversation-"

"Why would you love her when you can have me?" She asked feverishly and Rae felt her eyes narrow; this was something she had asked herself so many times. Why would Finn want her over Stacey?

"Because of who she is." Finn answered, "And who you are."

"But she's fat, Finn!" Stacey said desperately, "How can you stand to touch her when you've touched me?"

"Don't remind me." He said as if she had reminded him of touching dead rotting flesh. He watched the tears come to her eyes and felt nothing. She had been so cruel to Rae, that Finn's usual reaction to someone crying – instant sympathy – was entirely gone.

"She's fat." Stacey said as if that was all the explanation needed, all the reason required to not to love someone, to not to want them. Rae felt her innards churn; she had felt the same way Stacey did. Rae had felt that being fat was enough of an excuse to overlook her in the past. But she didn't feel that way anymore. Hearing Stacey say those words like a reason for hating her, made Rae realise how far she had come, made her realise how much she had hated herself. She had once hated herself like Stacey hated her; just because her body was a bigger size. Rae took a deep shaky breath and felt liberated for a moment; because in that exact moment, she understood that it wasn't a reason to hate herself at all.

"I know." Finn said and smiled in a supremely satisfied way.

"You know?" Stacey asked confused.

"I know she's big. I have eyes. And i know what you guys call her." He said softly, "I know what I get called." He continued, "And yet every day I just can't seem to muster up any kind of giving a fuck about that shite." He leaned back in his chair and Stacey's eyes fell to his naked torso. "I quite enjoy her body. I've had a lot o' fun exploring every inch of it." He crossed his ankles and fished out his cigarettes and lit one. "I'll probably go upstairs and have some more fun with her when you fuck off out o' me house." He lit up and watched her as she scrunched up her face.

"But you're so fit."

"Aye." He grinned, sucking on his cigarette, "What is it? King Finn." He asked in a bragging voice, blowing out smoke, "Can drop a girl's knickers from a hundred paces with the power of me face?" Finn knew exactly how he was perceived by people like Stacey. It was Rae's opinion that he was less certain of; Rae's opinion that mattered to him.

"Yeah." Stacey answered, "You could have any girl."

"And I choose Rae." Rae liked how firm and sure his voice sounded, she smiled as Stacey stammered her response.

"I just wanted you to know that you have options."

"Oh I know I have options." There was a cocky ring to his voice that Rae found ridiculously sexy.

"And I wanted you to know that I'm one of them." She looked at Finn with large vulnerable eyes, her hands reaching forward to his hands, but Finn stayed leaned back in the chair, almost lazily, as if this conversation bored him.

"I know you're one of my many options, Stacey. I've always known." He spoke as if she were a shirt he could choose from his wardrobe, "And I choose Rae." He added with a cocky grin. Rae saw that grin; he grinned like the cat who got the cream, like he had managed to pull of the world's greatest heist. He grinned like Rae was the greatest woman of them all and it was an honour to be allowed to choose her. "Let's be clear Stacey, if Rae were to stop choosing me and dumped me tomorrow, I still wouldn't choose you." He finished with a cold glare that almost made Rae feel bad for Stacey.

"But I love you." She answered in a small, defeated tone that did make Rae feel sorry for her.

"You don't know me." Finn dismissed her words, "But fine. Ok, you love me. Doesn't obligate me to love you back." He shrugged, his cold demeanour not changing one bit, "I love Rae." He drew on his cigarette again, his eyes coolly appraising her.

"I just thought that I might have something to offer you… more than she does." Her voice sounded so frail and Rae felt so sorry for her that she nearly interrupted the conversation; but what would she say? But Finn had seen Stacey emotional manipulate people before and he wouldn't be one of those people.

"Nope." He answered with a cold, brash smile. "But I'm sure there's someone out there, in this big wide world, that'll want what you're offering." Rae suddenly realised that this is how Finn wanted her to deal with Phillip. The problem was, Phillip had never actually declared his love for her, making it hard to say these things to him. Rae wondered if she would have the strength and bravery to say these things to Phil if he did declare his love. She furrowed her brows in thought.

"Yeah if he wants a trophy." Stacey answered bitterly.

"I was under the impression that you wanted to be a trophy."

"Not really." She answered sadly. "It's how I get treated." She lowered her eyes, "Even you treated me like a trophy at first."

"Aye." He agreed brutally. It hurt himself as much as her to remember this part of himself. He hated the way he had treated girls in the past.

"But then it changed, and I became your girl… and I loved that…"

"No… it changed cos I figured I could slip me dick into you… so I treated you nicer so you'd let me." Finn answered honestly, "I weren't really nice to you at all Stacey."

"I don't believe you." Stacey answered, "Rae is making you say this stuff to me because she's jealous of our connection." Finn paused for a moment and rolled his eyes.

"Stacey, get the fuck outta me house."

"She never needs to know." Stacey said softly. Finn furrowed his eyebrows and gave her a dirty look.

"What are you suggesting?"

"She'll never know I was here, or what was said… or what we do…" Stacy leaned further forward, "It'll be our secret." Rae's jaw dropped in disbelief, but Finn stared at her for a good long time.

"Are you suggesting I cheat on me girlfriend?"

"I'm suggesting that whatever happens between us, stays between us." Rae could hear the seduction in her voice and knew that there was no way that any red blooded man could resist her.

"Stacey, I don't know how much clearer I can be." He said firmly, "There will never be anything between us in any way." He watched the tears spill from her eyes emotionlessly.

"Right." She looked away and wiped her eyes carefully, apparently taking a moment to stifle her emotions, before looking back at him, "Can we at least be friends?" Her voice wavered with emotion and Rae felt her heart going out to Stacey, even though she had been pretty horrible to her.

"No." Finn answered in a dispassionate monotone.

"Why?" She whimpered.

"Cos you're mean." He answered honestly, "And we have nothing in common," Stacey opened her mouth to reply but Finn continued, "And most importantly, you don't respect my girlfriend." Stacey shut her mouth slowly, her face a mask of tragic grief, "But if all those thing change, Stacey; sure." Finn's voice made it clear that he didn't expect to see those changes any time soon.

"I don't mean to be mean." She answered in a small voice, "I don't know why I am." She lowered her eyes, "And I guess I just thought… that we were well suited to each other."

"Why would you ever think that?" Finn asked with a disgusted sneer.

"Because we're both beautiful." She looked up to see Finn's unimpressed face, "And no one's ever loved me like you did, Finn."

"I didn't love you Stacey. I could never love you." He looked disgusted at the thought of it.

"That's not what you said when I was sucking your cock." She spat accusatorily. Rae held her breath, stunned by Stacey's words. Finn nodded slowly.

"Yeah well I said a lot o' things to a lot o' girls when they had me dick in their mouths." He answered coldly. "I were trying to get you to swallow." He finished with as brutal a tone as he could muster. He really just wanted to shrink away from his past self. He needed to find Rae and feel her arms wrap around him, so he could be reminded of just how far he'd come. "You're nothing to me Stacey Stringfellow. Nothing but a bad blow job and a cunt that smelled like fish."

"Fuck you!" She said through tears and Finn grinned as she stood up shaking her head in disbelief at him.

"You wish, sweetheart." He answered cruelly. He watched her turn and storm out of the house, slamming the door behind her. He took a deep breath and covered his face with his hands, hating the things he'd said at the end. In reality, he'd liked Stacey at first. Everyone did. And he had wanted to love her, because he wanted to lose his virginity to her. So he had been trying to convince himself that he loved her. But he wasn't going to explain that to her; he just needed her to get the message clearly, and this was the only way it was going to happen. He sat up and leaned forward in the chair, his head in his hands. He felt sick thinking of the way he had been; thinking of just how many girls he had whispered sweet nothings to. He had told Stacey he loved her; he'd forgotten that because he hadn't meant it and he tried to forget most of that farcical relationship. He was so glad Rae hadn't been here to hear any of that. How could he explain it all?

Rae took a deep breath and pushed through the door, hoping her emotions were suitably in check. Finn looked up from his hands and watched the way she moved as she came and sat down in the place he normally sat; next to where Stacey had just been sitting. He sighed internally and hoped it was just a coincidence.

"Hey." She said and Finn instantly knew she'd heard it all.

"I'm sorry." He scooted off his chair to sit in the warmth left by Stacey. He felt himself cringe slightly but focused on her instead.

"Why?" She asked him and watched him lower his eyes. "It just means we've both said it when we didn't mean it." She continued bracingly.

"Aye but your circumstances were very different to mine." He looked at the floor and started to pick at his cuticle, something Rae hadn't seen him do recently. She put her hand in his to stop him and he looked up at her.

"Did you really tell girls you loved them so they'd swallow?" She asked.

"That's not why I said it to you." He said instantly.

"I know." She laughed, "I'd already swallowed before you told me." She took a deep breath, "Didn't need the encouragement it seems." Finn scoffed slightly and looked down.

"It didn't work, she didn't…"

"I know." Rae said, "You told me I were the first to do that."

"And you believe me still?"

"Aye." She answered simply, "Did you tell them all that you loved 'em?" She asked.

"I used to say a lot o' things." He admitted softly, "But I'm pretty sure that it were only Stacey that I said that to."

"Olivia?" She asked softly.

"Oh right…" Finn nodded slowly, "And her. But only in response when she said it to me."

"Was it actually a bad blow job?" Rae asked. Finn carefully considered how to reply.

"Not any worse than any other I'd had." He decided to be honest. Rae nodded.

"But not as good as mine." Finn noticed that it wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"No." He agreed, "Not as good as yours." He watched her thoughtful face for a while.

"Did her lady bits really smell like fish?" Rae had heard boys make that joke; 'what smells like fish but tastes like chicken?' She'd been so self-conscious of her own smells and worried about what he'd think of her vagina.

"I dunno." Finn said embarrassed, "I only fingered her, I never got close enough to smell her."

"You smell me off your fingers." Rae reminded him.

"Yeah but I never did with anyone else.

"Why?" She asked confused.

"Cos I were so excited about you and you lady bits Rae that I wanted to smell 'em and taste 'em. I could stare at your lady bits for hours." He told her, "I only cared about Stacey's to the extent I could shove me dick in 'em. I fingered her so she'd want me cock in there. I finger you cos I wanna make you cum." Rae furrowed her eyebrows, "I told you Rae, I were a right prick." He lowered his eyes, "I treated girls like convenient places to deposit me dick." Rae sighed and leaned back on the lounge.

"Alright.' She said in a light tone and he looked up at her surprised.

"Alright?"

"It's been well over a year since that shite with Stacey happened." She said, "Who gives a fuck?"

"You what?"

"I mean I know it's not good that you did that. But you don't anymore." She shrugged, "You've been with me on and off for a year now… and also Olivia for bit o' that year… granted that were shite too…" She smiled at him grimly, "But I think you can let go of that stuff, don't you?" She touched his face gently, "I mean, I might be curious sometimes and ask questions, but other than that I think we can just forget all of that stuff, yeah?"

"Forget it?" He asked incredulously, "Aren't you upset?"

"Not really." Rae answered, "You used to be a prick." She shrugged, "I used to cut myself." She swivelled in the seat and put her feet up on his lap, "It's in the past Finn."

"You're not worried that old worries will come up again?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I s'pose." She answered, "But I know you won't cheat on me. And I know," She added with a sly grin, "That you won't treat me like I'm nothing more than a thing to deposit your dick in, unless I ask you to." Finn tried not to grin, but he couldn't help it and lowered his face to hide it.

"This is serious Rae." He said softly.

"I'm being serious." She said with a serious tone, "Finn I'm not worried about this stuff alright?" Olivia's words came back to her but she dismissed them. "You're such a different person now."

"We both are." He agreed and leaned back on the lounge next to her, "hugs and crappy daytime tv?"

"I thought you'd never ask!"

_'Freedom! '90' by George Michael_

Chloe took a deep breath and raised her chin, faking bravado as she always did. She looked down the street and checked that she had locked her car door. She flattened her dress down and made sure it sat against her skin properly and touched her hair to make sure it felt right.

"Stop it!" She told herself and raised her chin again before marching into the building.

She knocked on Rhys's door and heard him moving within the flat. She felt butterflies in her stomach and rolled her eyes at herself.

He opened the door, wiping his hands on a tea towel and gave her a broad smile. He opened the door for her to come in and Chloe entered his flat for the second time and looked around. He had set up his dining table for dinner and she had to stifle a huge dopey grin as he went over to one of the chairs and pulled it out for her.

"Ms Chloe." He said and she sat down, Rhys pushing the chair in for her. He sat down opposite her, putting the tea towel over his thigh. He took the bottle of wine and poured them both a glass and sat back in his seat.

"How has your week been so far?" He asked her genuinely.

"Really great." She grinned, "Lots of time with the gang, and mum's been buying me so many clothes…" She bit her bottom lip and picked up the glass of wine, "You?" She asked and took a sip. "Hmm, it's good." Rhys nodded.

"I thought you'd like a fruitier wine." He said thoughtfully, "But I got a couple of different kinds just in case.' He lowered his eyes and chuckled at himself.

"You trying to impress me?" She asked totally awe struck and bemused by the notion.

"Yes." He answered as he looked up at her. "Why wouldn't I try to impress you?"

"I dunno… She shrugged, "I always think of boys impressing girls as them lying to make themselves look better than they are." Rhys nodded thoughtfully.

"Lucky I'm a man then." He answered, "When I seek to impress you, I mean that I want to give you a good night, and display how well I've been paying attention to you." He answered, "To be clear and upfront, so you know what I'm doing." He held up his empty hands, "No surprises." She laughed.

"Well I give you permission to surprise me in the future." Chloe watched him lower his face, a pleased grin on his face.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You gonna tell me about your week?" She asked him and took another sip of wine. Rhys lifted up his glass and sipped before replying.

"Tom and I are going into business together."

"What? When?" Chloe asked surprised, "When did that happen?"

"I've been thinking about it for a few years." Rhys told her, "I mentioned it to Tom last year when we were lovers," Rhys stopped and listened to a noise that came from the kitchen and then continue in a soft voice, still listening, "Because I knew he would be an excellent asset to such an endeavour.' Rhys took another sip of wine, "He seemed very unsure of the idea. But last month he suggested we do it." Rhys was watching Chloe's face as he spoke, "So we're putting in an equal amount of money and buying some premises for it. Although we might have to rent them…" He sighed.

"What kind of business?" She was deeply impressed by the whole idea.

"A more inclusive gym." He said with a satisfied grin, "Basically. And I want in indoor heated pool too."

"Oh god yes!" Chloe laughed.

"I'm going to offer to train Finn to become an instructor." Rhys said, "and then he can be a personal trainer." Rhys continued slowly, "And I can probably also start Chop with some younger clients, after some training." Rhys considered, "And Archie will be good for running the pool or gym section because he already has experience with that." Chloe listened to him planning his business, "Assuming they all want the jobs!" He laughed. "I'd really like to have a few female trainers as well." He sighed, "Actually there's a whole lot of things I'd like, but I need to sit down with Tom and plan it all out."

"Are there any women that are trained enough in Stamford that could do it?"

"Elsa." Rhys answered and Chloe felt a slight stab of jealousy. "But she wouldn't do it." He said, "So I'll have to train someone up." His eyes rested on her and Chloe got his meaning immediately.

"Do you really think I could do it?"

"Yes." He replied honestly, "If you wanted to." An alarm of some sort went off in the kitchen and he stood up, "But that's entirely up to you. You know I won't push you either way." She nodded happily. "I better get that." He grinned nervously and took his tea towel to the kitchen. She heard a loud meow and the big ginger cat wondered in, wrapping itself around her legs.

"I don't think you're stray anymore are you?" She asked as she picked him up. "You've attached yourself to that big softie haven't you?" The cat purred loudly as she stroked his ears and he settled down on the table in front of her, Chloe moving the empty plate out of the way for him, and he started to emphatically rub his face against her hands. Rhys came back in and Chloe looked up at him.

"What are we having?" Rhys took a deep breath and looked slightly nervous as he sat down.

"I'm not much of a cook." He confessed, "But I do remember my mum's cooking." He said sadly. "So I'm cooking some of that stuff."

"What's your mum like?"

"She's dead." Rhys said sadly, "She was a refugee from Nigeria. She was 22 and pregnant with me and my brother when she made the journey here." He lowered his eyes. "She used to sing us the songs from her village. And she was serious and sad." He smiled with memory, "and kind." Chloe watched the emotion on his face as he spoke, "So we're having some Nigerian cuisine that my mother taught me to cook when I was a little boy." He finished with a nervous grin.

"That sounds exciting!" Chloe answered genuinely.

"We'll be starting with jollof rice." He grinned at her look of incomprehension and continued, "I've got three types of suya to have with that, one of them's goat; I hope you don't mind."

"I'll give it a try." She answered with trepidation.

"So that's entrée, then I've done maafe with boiled rice for the main." Rhys enjoyed the look Chloe was giving him; trusting his food decisions completely. "And we each have a funkaso to go with that." He sipped his wine, "And for dessert we have some moin moin." And he raised his eyebrows, obviously hoping she liked it all, "Oh and I managed to get some palm wine too, if you want to try it."

"Of course I'll try it." She grinned happily.

"Some of it is spicy." He warned and she shrugged.

"I like spicy."

"I'll keep that in mind too." He answered suggestively and Chloe felt her insides tingle in response.

"Come to London with me." She said slowly and Rhys lowered his eyes.

"Work will be difficult." He answered.

"So come for some of it."

"What are the dates?"

"15th to the 24th." She told him and he nodded.

"I'll see what I can do." Rhys held her gaze for some time and watched her look down.

"So I suppose we need to talk about our relationship then." She fidgeted with her glass and sucked her bottom lip for a moment.

"Only if you wish to." He told her and stood up, "I'll just get the entrees." The cat curled up on the centre of the table and started to clean his paws. Chloe watched him fascinated. Rhys came back in with two large plates of food.

"We will never eat all of that!" Chloe laughed and Rhys shook his head.

"You've never seen me eat properly!" He laughed. "Come on Mister Meow, off the table." He told the cat and Mr Meow looked up at him imperiously before jumping down, heading for the green lounge to stretch out for a cat nap.

"Mister Meow?" Chloe felt laughter at the back of her throat, but mostly she just adored this big stupid softy of a man.

"He needed a name." Rhys shrugged and put the food on the table and grabbed some plates for them. It smelled amazing, and spicy. He served up some food for her, "That's the goat meat." He pointed out to her and she nodded before he put it on her plate. They ate in comfortable for silence for a while, Chloe enjoying the different flavours, her mind forgetting for a while all the things she had to talk to him about.

"So what's in this?" She pointed at the jollof rice.

"Rice, obviously." Rhys was pleased she wanted to know, "tomatoes, onion, salt, nutmeg, pepper, ginger, cumin," Chloe watched him list off the ingredients in awe, she'd never remember all these things, "chicken stock, garlic, peas, and I cut up a bunch of vegetables to go in as well."

"It's so good." Chloe told him.

"It's especially good because you cook it all in one pot." She made a noise in the back of her throat as she savoured the rice that made Rhys smile contently.

"You're a great cook."

"I have jollof rice at least once a week." He confessed, "I'd better be good at cooking it by now!" Chloe grinned and tried the suya; pieces of spiced meat threaded onto bamboo skewers.

"Oh these are spicy!" She suddenly noticed the water Rhys had left out on the table. She resisted taking a sip and let the spice sit on her tongue before eating some more. It was so good.

"Chicken, beef." Rhys pointed out, "and goat." Chloe looked at the goat and stuck with the beef and chicken for now.

"I wanted to thank you for not treating me like a victim." She raised her eyes to him

"I treat you as you are." Rhys answered and Chloe thought about this for some time.

"Thank you." She said as she understood just how important that statement was; he didn't see her as a victim because she wasn't one. She had stopped thinking of herself as a victim the minute she had started learning self-defence. It had made her feel in control of herself again. And Rhys had seen that.

"Don't think on it Chloe." He said humbly. Chloe sipped her wine.

"This is much nicer than going to a restaurant." She told him. They'd been having dates for weeks before the summer ball, but after having sex, there was a deeper intimacy between them. It was right for him to be cooking for her now. "You're a master of the slow seduction aren't you?" She asked him with an amused grin. Rhys looked up at her with a thoughtful face.

"I'm not the master of anything but myself." He answered honestly, "I was as slow as you needed." He added, "I always will be." He sipped his wine and furrowed his brows slightly, "I wasn't trying to seduce you." He added, "I wanted to know you better… and I was willing to go where you led me."

"So I seduced myself?" She laughed. Rhys considered this with a serious face that made Chloe laugh even more.

"I don't think seduction has played a role in our relationship." He answered thoughtfully, "Yet."

"Yet?" Chloe loved this hint of sensuality from him.

"Yet." He breathed with a voice brimming with controlled sexuality and let his eyes drop to her lips momentarily. Chloe held her breath and bit her bottom lip in anticipation for something she knew wasn't even happening yet; their relationship was too young and she was still too vulnerable for Rhys's full sexuality to show itself. She knew he repressed his full passion for her and she appreciated it, because she could already feel that it was red hot and she wasn't ready for it; she'd be burned to a crisp right now. He lowered his eyes to his food and Chloe let out her breath slowly She looked at the small satisfied grin on his face and realised that he knew exactly what he had just done to her. He had deliberately lowered his eyes to set her free from his gaze, to let her breathe. She was surprised by her desire for him; it was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. There was no guilt, no shame, no feeling of obligation… no need to prove herself. No desire to be wanted to prove her worth. She just wanted him in a heated, uncomplicated urge that filled her body. But in the back of her head she still wanted her freedom and she knew that she would very quickly become very serious with Rhys; he was strangely easy to love.

"So relationship stuff." She said after a while and Rhys raised his eyes to her and nodded slowly.

"Ok." He indicated his willingness to talk about this topic and picked the suya from the skewers with his fingers and Chloe started to do the same.

"Not feeling like a victim for the first time in months… has made me…" She paused, "Want to… explore that." She finished finally, not sure if that was clear to Rhys. He nodded slowly.

"Explore in what way?" He asked softly and she lowered her eyes. Looking at the delicious meal he'd made for her on their first date since the summer ball made her feel guilty. She stopped eating and tried to gather her thoughts.

"I dunno." She said awkwardly.

"It's fine Chloe." He said reassuringly, "You don't owe me anything." He told her, "I do the things I do because I want to, and you do not owe me because of them, so don't stop eating the food I made you because you do not wish to start a relationship with me." He looked at her sagely and she could barely stand to hold his gaze; how did he know?

"But I do." She answered, "That's the problem." She sighed and put her fork down, Rhys mirrored her and folded his hands gently. "I want you." She told him honestly, "But I also want to have a bunch of sex with a bunch of people." Rhys nodded slowly. "Kester says I'm trying to reclaim my body and sexuality…" She tried to explain and Rhys's eyes watched her as she talked, thoughtful, calm, reassuring; as always. "And I know that's not fair to you but… I can't let go of the idea." She was suddenly terrified of his answer; what if he told her she had to choose? What if he was disgusted by her? What if he wanted nothing to do with her anymore?

"Alright." He answered and picked his fork back up and continued to eat. She watched him with a confused look on her face.

"Alright?" She asked him and he nodded. "What does that mean?"

"Alright." He repeated, "You want to have sex with other people." He said, "Alright. I accept that."

"What if I wanted to have sex with a beautiful woman?" She asked trying to shock him, and he nodded again, "and I wanted you to watch." Rhys blinked at her for a moment, clearly considering this.

"If you both wish for this to happen, then I have no objection to it." He answered calmly. Chloe opened her mouth in surprise.

"I don't know any women who would have sex with me.' She said softly.

"I know several, I can organise a meeting if you'd like?" He asked her and took a sip of wine.

"Really?" She asked, "It doesn't make you jealous?"

"I don't own you, it's your decision to do as you wish." He answered simply.

"Finn gets pissed off about guys even looking at Rae." Chloe marvelled and Rhys furrowed his brows at the comparison.

"I'm not Finn." Rhys answered pointedly; he had guessed her previous infatuation with Finn, and was not interested in playing stand-in for another man.

"So you don't care if I sleep with other people?" Chloe asked defensively, trying to ignore his tone because it indicated that he understood her slight preoccupation with Finn.

"That's not it at all." He told her, once again putting down his fork, "I do care. But I care about you being happy and your wellbeing, not that your body belongs to me and shouldn't be touched by others." His eyes fell to her lips and she saw desire in his eyes, but they raised back to her eyes, and she detected no hint of a lie, "If it pleases you to be touched by others then so be it. It's your decision."

"What about what you want?"

"I want you." Rhys answered with that phrase again. He'd told her that before, and Chloe couldn't understand what it was about her that he so wanted, "I will abide by your decisions about your body, your happiness, and your life." He added.

"What about your decisions?" Chloe watched him pick up the fork again and she did the same, "When do you get to make the decisions?"

"I never get to make the decisions for you Chloe." He looked her in the eye, "Never." He said pointedly, "I get to make decisions for me. And here's some of the decisions I am consciously making right now: Am I accepting that a woman I am falling in love with wants to or needs to fuck other people?" He asked himself thoughtfully, "Yes." He answered firmly, "Can I accept that she may never want to be in an exclusive relationship with me?" His eyes held hers, "Yes." His answer was less firm, but still a clear yes. "Do I want an exclusive relationship…?" He paused and lowered his eyes in thought. Chloe felt her heart in her throat. She found herself hoping he'd say 'yes.' "I'm not sure…" He said finally and raised his eyes back to hers, "But if my feelings for you continue to grow, I probably will. Which surprises me." He said honestly, "You'd be my first monogamous relationship." He told her and she felt her stomach fluttering with excitement. "And if that moment does come, and I suspect it will… then I will decide when and how to talk to you about it." He smiled reassuringly, "And if you refuse, I will have to decide if I will stay with you under those circumstances. And if you accept, we will have to decide together what the rules of our relationship are." Chloe watched him talk in awe; how could he be so reasonable, and still seem so protective, strong and manly? "I will not have society dictate what my relationship should be like. Nor will I have societal norms or outdated, patriarchal notions make my decisions for me." He said with a vigorous passion that made Chloe's insides tingle with desire for him. "You are not now, nor will you ever be, my property, and I will never treat you as such." He told her firmly, "I will not make your decisions for you, nor will I fly into a jealous rage, nor will I try to own you. You are as bound to me as you choose to be." His eyes dropped to her lips again, and he spoke, watching the way her mouth moved as she ate slowly, "Do I have desires, my god yes… I do desire you and your time…" He looked up at her eyes, "But you are not mine to take. You are your own to give to those you wish, when you wish and how you wish. Just as I am my own and I do the same." Chloe's mind was mulling over all the things he'd said and it felt like he was very invested in her and she enjoyed that, "It's my decision to be here now, accepting that you are not in a relationship with me, and will sleep with whomever you choose. It's my decision to-"

"You're falling in love with me?" She had heard every word he had said, but these were the ones that kept repeating in her mind.

"Of course I am Chloe." He answered, clearly baffled as to why she would ask him this.

"How…? Why?" She fumbled over her thoughts, "I haven't done anything to…" She looked down, "Make you fall in love with me… or deserve it." She added sadly.

"Have you met you?" He asked bewildered by her words, "You are a miraculous human being Chloe." She scoffed.

"I don't understand… if you want me… why don't you want me all to yourself?"

"Love and want are different things." Rhys answered firmly, "I happen to have both for you." He continued, "But even my growing love for you does not mean that I am entitled to you, or that you owe me, or that you belong to anyone other than yourself. I am responsible for me and my thoughts and feelings… my actions and decisions… and you are responsible for you. Do as you will Chloe." He told her honestly.

"You'll withdraw your love if I do." She challenged.

"It would hardly be love if I could stop loving you because you didn't do what I wanted you to." Rhys shook his head, "To me, that's not love; that's just ownership and entitlement."

"You'll love me no matter what?"

"Of course. If I fall in love with you Chloe, I will love you until the day I die, and beyond if there is a beyond." He picked up a suya kebab and pulled at the meat, "but that does not mean we will be in a relationship." He put some meat in his mouth and chewed it, "You are under no obligation to me no matter how much I love you… But if I do fall in love with you, I will want to be in a relationship of some sort with you." He told her honestly.

"Of some sort?" She asked, still confused by everything.

"We will define our own rules." He reminded her, "And if you do not want me in that way, if you do not love me. It won't stop me from loving you." He told her, "That's not how love works for me." He watched her carefully as he spoke, "It'll just mean that we cannot be together. And we will both make our decisions according to our true feelings."

"I've never met anyone like you." She marvelled, "I don't understand how you can… say you love me and not…" She struggled to find the words.

"Want to possess you?" He watched her slowly nod her head, "Because you're a human being with your own mind and your own agency." He answered, "I love who you are. Why would I seek to change that by taking away your agency away through owning you?" Chloe had never considered this before and it clicked in her mind perfectly, "That's why people change in relationships; because our society can't differentiate between being with someone and trying to own that person." She let these thoughts run around in her head.

"Alright, I'm gonna try this goat." She changed the topic to give herself time to think about what he had said, "It had better be good!" She threatened jokingly and he laughed, but watched her closely as she put the meat in her mouth.

"Oh it's better than I thought it'd be." She scrunched her nose in thought as she chewed, "It's like really strong lamb."

"I'll get the mains." Rhys grinned and went to the kitchen, Chloe felt her head fall to the side as she watched his arse as he walked away. He came back and put the food on the table, leaving the entrees there and she grabbed the spoons and started serving it out.

"I can't get my head around the idea of loving someone and not wanting no one else to touch them." She admitted and Rhys shrugged.

"I never said that I wouldn't want monogamy with you one day in the future," He answered as he picked up his funkaso and broke it into pieces, "I just indicated that it wasn't a deal breaker if you didn't want it." He answered with a shy grin, "Not yet… it may become one, it might not. We'll see how our feelings develop."

"We'll set our own rules in any future relationship we might have…" Chloe answered slowly, enjoying the way that sounded.

"Exactly." Rhys picked his fork up again and Chloe did the same as she mulled over the thoughts.

"And you not being possessive of me doesn't mean that you don't care." She told herself as she tried the maafe. "Oh that's good!" She said excitedly and Rhys gave a relieved grin.

"I'm glad you like it." He watched her eat for a while before returning to their conversation, "To me, possessiveness and jealousy are not love." Rhys said immutably, "Love is selfless and giving. Not selfish and controlling."

"Are you saying Finn doesn't love Rae?" Chloe asked with real concern for Rae.

"Not at all." Rhys answered, "Finn loves her with everything in his being." He reassured Chloe and Chloe was grateful he'd seen how worried she'd been for her best friend, "Finn doesn't want to control Rae." Rhys stated, "He focuses too much on the fact that someone else might be better suited to her. This affects him deeply." Rhys kept his eyes on Chloe, "I believe that his focus is now starting to shift to where it should be."

"Oh yeah?" Chloe asked with a bemused grin, "And where's that?"

"On being the kind of man that makes her not care if there are other men that are well suited to her." Rhys answered, "There's no point focusing on other men. There will always be other men… other people… that are well suited to our partners." Rhys watched her face closely, "It's best to focus on our partners, and ourselves and making it work the best we can."

"So you won't ever worry about other men being better suited to me?" She asked curiously, eating the food more ravenously than she'd eaten anything her mother had made for her.

"No."

"Sure of yourself!" She laughed.

"Yes." He answered seriously and then let a grin break out on his face, "And also if you find someone that you think is better for you – then you should be with them." He answered honestly, "It would hurt me a great deal, but I would be able to see your happiness, and that is what matters to me: that the ones I love are as happy as they can be. Even if that is not with me." He looked into Chloe's eyes, "If we were in a relationship, I would work to earn your love and respect, and to make you happy, every day. If someone else could do that better… what kind of man would I be to want to deny you the chance to be the happiest you can be?" Chloe again had to stop to consider this. Rhys left the table and came back with the palm wine and two glasses. She watched him pour out two small glasses and thoughts whirled in her mind. She tried it.

"Oh that's strong!" She laughed and he nodded and raised his glass for her to clink it. She did and they ate in happy silence for a short time, Rhys giving her chance to think and Chloe considering it all carefully; could she be with a man who had this life philosophy?

"So do you think monogamy is a good thing?" She asked suddenly, "Or a bad thing?"

"It can be either…" he answered, "What I truly think about monogamy is that it's not mandatory for there to be love and a special connection between people." He looked at her, already feeling a special connection between them "If we both want monogamy eventually Chloe, we can agree to that, but it's not the only way to be in a relationship."

"I've been told my whole life that the only real relationship is one that's monogamous between a man and a woman." She said slowly, "That that's the only way to experience love and that special connection we all want…" She laughed at the notion, Archie and Tom had already proven half of that idea wrong… perhaps she would disprove the other half wrong?

"Would you say what we have is special?" Rhys asked, surprised at how nervous he felt about her answer.

"Yes." She answered without hesitation, "More than anything I've ever experienced. I feel… I don't understand why… but you make me feel so loved and respected and validated." She told him, suddenly realising that she already had fairly intense feelings for him. "How do you do it?"

"It's not love to claim someone as your property. That's just an exercise in turning a beautiful individual into a thing. I see you as you Chloe. Not as my possession. You are worth so much more than just being mine." He reached across the table and stroked her face gently.

"What if I want to be yours?" She asked breathlessly, and then got herself under control, "One day…"

"That will be your choice." He told her, his fingers touching her lips gently, his eyes following his fingers momentarily before they returned to her eyes, "But I will never treat you as if you are mine. I will always treat you like Chloe."

"I want to start a relationship with you Rhys." She said suddenly, "Now." Rhys gave her a small smile that showed a clearly repressed joy and bit his bottom lip, she grinned broadly at him and watched him lower his eyes and take a deep breath.

"Alright." He said softly, a hint of excitement colouring the edges of his voice, "And what would you like the rules to be Ms Chloe?" He raised his eyes to hers. Chloe couldn't believe how in just a few months of knowing Rhys she could feel so strongly for him, and from the look in his eyes, it was obviously mutual.

"Not monogamous yet." She said firmly and he nodded, "But we have to tell each other about it if we do…" He nodded again and she lowered her eyes in thought, "And we have to have lots of dates." She continued, her eyes were down so she didn't see the smile that played with the corners of his mouth as he nodded again, "And you have to spend more time with my friends, and I have to meet yours… and I suppose well have to meet each other's families…" another nod, "And I'll be calling you my boyfriend from now on, and I'm your girlfriend," another nod with another smile, "and I'm gonna need you to have sex with me a lot." She looked up at him, "Do you have any rules?"

"Just that you be honest with me." He answered.

"I will be." She told him, "Because I can with you."

"I'm honoured you feel that way." He said honestly.

"Even if you are weird." She grinned and he laughed.

"I usually get called intimidating not weird!" He chuckled.

"It's a good weird." She told him, "And you're not intimidating at all." She told him fondly, "But I've literally never met anyone even close to being like you." Rhys shook his head.

"Elsa and Tom are similar." He told her.

"No they're not." She said firmly, "There's no one on the planet like you Rhys."

"I'm glad you think so." He replied, "Because I feel the same about you." Chloe bit her bottom lip and looked away to hide how happy he made her; she couldn't believe how giddy his words made her feel.

"Aren't Tom and Archie in a monogamous relationship?" She challenged his assertion that Tom and he were alike.

"I think so." Rhys answered, "Tom is very much in love with Archie."

"Oh I know!" Chloe laughed, "It's so obvious." Rhys shared her happy grin, "I like seeing Archie this happy." Chloe told him "He really deserves it."

"Yes." Rhys agreed. "So does Tom." They finished up their food and Chloe helped Rhys clear up the plates and put the small amount of leftovers into containers for later use.

"Shall we have dessert after?" She asked him and he turned to her, catching the glint in her eye.

"Of course." He agreed and caught her easily as she jumped up onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist, her lips going straight to his. "You're lucky I've got fast reflexes missy!" He laughed through her kisses.

"After sex…" Chloe said, "Dessert and a nice glass of wine on the longue, and we'll talk all night." She told him.

"That sounds perfect." She tilted her mouth towards his again and he kissed her lips deeply, leaving Chloe breathless.

"You can kiss me like that as much as you want." She told him, taking his face in her hands and looking into his eyes before kissing him passionately, eliciting an appreciative groan from him. She didn't know why, but making a man like Rhys groan like that made her feel powerful in ways she'd never experienced before.

"And you can kiss me like that whenever you want." He breathed, desire clear in his eyes.

"I love it when you look at me like that." She told him and he grinned slightly, the desire in his eyes intensifying. "I want you to make me cum. I want you to make me scream." She told him softly.

"As you wish Ms Chloe."

_'Stuck in the Middle With You' by Stealers Wheel_

Finn watched Karim holding Aiesha, singing to her softly. His voice was deep and melodic and Finn was deeply impressed and moved by the way he sung to his little girl.

"Au clair de la lune, s'en fut Arlequin. Frapper chez la brune. Elle répond soudain: Qui frappe de la sorte? Il dit à son tour: Ouvrez votre porte, pour le Dieu d'Amour!" Karim finished with a happy smile. For her part, Aiesha was throwing her arms around enthusiastically and gurgling happily. He gently put her down, so that she was standing, holding his hands tightly. Finn watched in awe as she stood there shakily, looking around at the world.

"Tu es une fille tellement forte." He cooed happily to Aiesha and grinned proudly. He looked over at Finn, "regarde elle se tient debout!" Finn nodded emphatically in reply, not understanding one word of what he'd said, but not minding. Aiesha took in her surroundings and the enormity of the world at this higher level seemed to weigh on her. She slowly sat down, Karim guiding her gently so that she didn't bang herself. As soon as she was seated she started to scoot around, Finn sat on the floor with her and Rae came in from upstairs, her hair in a messy ponytail at the back of her head; Aiesha had taken to pulling her hair mercilessly lately. Karim sat on the lounge and watched as Finn laid down on his stomach and encouraged Aisha to crawl towards him. But she insisted on scooting, and as soon as she got close enough she put her hands on his face, poking his eye and putting a finger up his nose. Rae raised an amused eyebrow as he blinked back tears and scooped her up into his arms, bouncing her until she giggled loudly. Linda hurried in, putting earrings on and looking stressed.

"Are you sure you're fine to do this?" She asked them.

"O' course mum." Rae answered, "Go have your date night!" She told them.

"Thank you Rachel." Karim grinned as he stood up; his English was getting better all the time, and Rae's French was improving too. "Thank you Finn."

"Hopefully she won't bawl as soon as you leave." Rae pulled a face and turned to look at Finn, holding Aiesha while she pulled at his nose curiously. Linda went over to Finn and took Aiesha from his arms, and with no explanation handed her to Rae. Linda nodded at Karim who took something from his pocket and handed it to her. Rae held Aiesha, trying to keep her little hands off her hair, and looked on confused as her mum stood in front of Finn and cleared her throat.

"I wanted to give you this." She held up a newly cut copy of the front door key. Finn turned his eyes to Rae and she was repressing a grin. He turned his eyes back to Linda.

"Thank you." He said earnestly.

"Don't make a nuisance of yourself just because you've got that." She told him and he nodded solemnly. Finn looked up at Karim and the two men shared a knowing smile before Finn looked back at Linda.

"I won't." He answered seriously and she nodded, satisfied.

"We'll be back by 11." She told him and then turned to Rae, "There's some leftovers in the fridge for dinner."

"Thanks mum." Linda kissed Finn's cheek and then Rae's before heading to the door. Karim gave them both a big hug and followed his wife with a satisfied grin that told Rae that Karim had every intention of having sex tonight. Rae tried to push that thought from her head and shook her head in repulsion as the door closed behind them.

"Good job on keeping your face straight." She grinned at Finn.

"Karim knows I already got a key." Finn laughed.

"You what?' Rae asked with a surprised look that made Aiesha squeal loudly.

"I accidentally locked myself out when I was having smoke a few weeks back. He rocked up just as I was opening the door, with the keys on me own key ring." Rae started to laugh, "He gave me this questioning look and I told him you'd got me a key cut a few months ago. He just shrugged it off."

"Karim's a keeper." Rae marvelled. They'd all kept a straight face and allowed Linda to have her moment.

"What should I do with the key?" He asked and Rae shrugged.

"Give it to Chloe or Archer in case we both lock ourselves out."

"Alright." He shoved the key in his pocket and held his arms out as Rae handed Aiesha back to Finn and headed towards the kitchen to check out what leftovers her mother meant.

"I was thinking we could order some pizza for dinner. My shout." Finn suggested and bounced Aiesha, starting her giggling again.

"Alright." Rae said, "Supreme?"

"Aye."

"Garlic bread?"

"And a coke, cheers."

"I'll go find the number." She went into the kitchen and Finn held Aiesha up and started to sing to her. She looked down at him and squealed with delight. He started to dance around with her singing louder, still holding her up above his head. She giggled and squirmed happily. He lowered her into his arms and held her back to his chest, so she could look out at the world, as he spun around and kept dancing and she kicked her legs excitedly. He sang louder as she squealed louder and he tried to match his singing to her volume, which seemed to delight her.

Rae sorted through the pamphlets for local restaurants her mother stored in the bottom kitchen drawer to find the pizza house that delivered. She heard Aiesha squealing and then stopped dead in her tracks, a huge grin on her face. She looked over at the door to the lounge room; she could hear Finn singing 'stuck in the middle with you' to Aiesha loudly, jovially. She got up and peeked round the door to see him dancing around and singing as loud as he could, Aiesha squealing happily and flinging her arms about. Finn… King Finn. In his favourite jeans, the ones that showed his arse off to perfection, and his oasis t-shirt… dancing around with her baby sister. She watched him in disbelief for a moment before gently closing the door and silently laughing as she headed upstairs to use her phone to order rather than interrupt Finn to use the phone in the lounge room.

When she came back down Finn was crouched down, open-mouthed in joy as Aiesha crawled tentatively towards him.

"C'mon little one!" He encouraged her happily. She liked to scoot, and she stood happily if you stood her up. She had even started to try and pull herself up sometimes. But she was not a crawler. She stopped, halfway there and sat with a thud that surprised her. She looked at Finn as if asking him how to respond to such a thud, but before Finn had had a chance to react to her, she had started to cry loudly.

"Oh, come here little one." He soothed calmly and scooped her up into his arms, sitting on the floor with her and speaking reassuringly to her. "Me dad tells me I weren't a crawler either, now look at me!" He grinned at her, "You'll be fine."

"You two are similar in a lot o' ways." Rae said, "Same blood type." She answered his questioning face, "You sure she not your baby?" Finn grinned and then thought it through, his face turning into a picture of horror.

"No Rae!" He started to laugh but Aiesha cried miserably and he quickly forgot that Rae had basically implied he had sex with Linda and rocked Aiesha gently.

"So you're a little A negative as well?" He asked Aiesha and Rae furrowed her eyebrows.

"I thought you were O?" He said.

"Why would you think that?" Rea lowered her eyes; she hated thinking about this.

"Cos that's what the doctors gave you when you were first admitted after…" She looked away and he nodded.

"Oh right." He looked down, "Universal blood transfusion type." He said, "They gave me O until they knew I were A neg." He explained, also not liking to think of that time. Aiesha settled into a sleep in his arms and Rae went over to her downstairs crib and checked that it was fine for her to be put down to sleep for the evening. She took out a toy and pulled back the blanket. Finn was particular about no toys being in the crib. Linda always ignored this, but Rae understood that he was always thinking of Grace dying from cot death, SIDS, and he wanted to minimise the risk to Aiesha. Rea always took the toys out when she saw them. Aiesha didn't seem to mind either way. Finn lowered her carefully into the crib and Rae pulled up the blanket, careful to keep it away from her face.

They had spent the whole day at Rae's house, looking after Aiesha for most of it while Karim worked and Linda did housework. Rae was exhausted and collapsed down onto the lounge with a groan. Finn watched Aiesha for a moment longer before joining her. Rae looked through the tv guide for something to watch while Finn took off his shoes and stuffed his socks in them.

"Rae?" He said softly, a memory from the previous conversations coming back to him randomly.

"Yeah?" She asked, not taking her eyes off the guide.

"You said that the first time you masturbated was after I curled that fucker up outside the chippy?" Rae turned her eyes to him.

"Aye." She answered slowly, wondering where he was going with this.

"You fantasised about me…?" He grinned, still absurdly pleased by that.

"Aye." The same slow, almost guarded response.

"You called me a prick for ages after that." He answered her narrowed eyes with a big grin. "Trying to hide your insatiable thirst for me huh?" He teased and she shook her head.

"Trying to hide how much your ego makes me wanna vomit." She replied and looked away from his grinning face.

"You staring at me in the pub sometimes makes sense now." Rae rolled her eyes at how pleased he was.

"Shut up Finn or I'll fracture me fucking skull trying to not roll me eyes at you." He laughed and put his feet up on the coffee table. "I actually did think you were a right proper prick." She told him.

"Oh aye." He said lustily, his hand finding its way up her shirt and cupping her breast, "A right proper prick you wanted to fuck." He kissed her neck and Rae's eyes went over to the crib and she groaned in frustration; it felt wrong having sex with Aiesha in the room, even if she was a sleep.

"Well you are stunning." She admitted and he made a half-happy, half-lusty sound in the back of his throat and sat up, kneeing on the couch and kissing her lips fervently, laying her back, his hand finding the waistline of her skirt.

"I want you." He whispered to her as his fingers slid under her skirt and tights.

"We can't." She nodded over at the crib and Finn looked over at the sleeping baby girl. He grunted and looked back at Rae, undecided.

"She's sleeping?" He asked hopefully, only half believing they'd go through with it. Rae gave him an unimpressed look.

"Really?" She asked and he sighed.

"No." He admitted and sat back down on the sofa with a thud and an annoyed grunt. "I love you little one, but you're a right proper cock-block." He mumbled in the direction of Aiesha's crib. Rae grinned and put her lips to his ear.

"When we go upstairs tonight, I'll let you do whatever you want." He turned his eyes to her and grinned lustily.

"Aye?" She nodded, "I'd like you to suck my dick." He said cheekily and she nodded and kissed his cheek chastely. "And want you to sit on my face." Rae nodded again and gently rubbed his thigh, noting the bulge in his jeans, "And then I want you to ride me girl."

"You do like me on top don't you?"

"Fuck yes I do." He answered.

"Why?"

"The view." He grinned and watched her blush. "You're just up there, doing your thing, getting off… and I get to watch it all."

"Well I wouldn't want to let me man down." She grinned, "Your wish is my command Mr Nelson." She leaned down and kissed the bulge in his pants firmly and he groaned.

"Fucking tease." He breathed. She slipped off the lounge and knelt before him, kissing up his thighs to the bulge in his jeans. She licked along his fly and he watched her, shaking his head slowly. "You'll do this in front o' her, but you won't suck it." He asked disbelievingly.

"Aye." She answered, "She too young to see a cock, Finn."

"She wouldn't even know what it is… And she's asleep anyway." He urged, but he knew that he wouldn't go through with it; Rae was right. He put his hands in her hair and remembered what it felt to have her lips around his cock and groaned. She licked along his bulge again and he imagined her tongue licking up the length of his shaft; he could almost feel it.

They both jumped when there was a knock on the door and Rae buried her face in his lap laughing. This didn't help Finn's desire at all. But she was up and going to the door in a flash, Finn's hungry eyes following her.

When she opened the door, Finn furrowed his brows; he recognised the delivery guy.

"Hi Rae!" He said happily while Finn scrambled to think where he knew him from.

"It's Finn right?" He asked warmly and Finn nodded, "How you going?"

"Yeah alright." Finn answered.

"How are you James?" Rae asked as she invited him in, having to go to Finn to get the money. Finn pulled his wallet out of his pocket.

"Yeah good!" He smiled happily, "Doing me second year of College here in Stamford." He told her.

"I thought you finished that last year?" Rae handed over the money and James gave her the pizza.

"Nah, I took the year off cos me parents…" He paused, a sadness coming over his face. Rae had heard that James' parents had died while on a business trip in Lijiang China. There had been a massive earthquake and hundreds of people had died. They'd never even found their bodies, he'd just never heard from them again.

"Oh right." She answered sympathetically.

"I'm living with me Nan now." He explained and Finn finally placed him: Mrs Dewhurst's grandson.

"Well that's good!" Rae grinned, "I'll get to see you more again!" James grinned and started to laugh. He turned his eyes to Finn

"We used to run around the street together when I visited me Nan." He explained, "When we was little."

"Chloe had such a crush on you!" Rae told him and he chuckled.

"I hope she doesn't still have a crush on me!" He joked and his eyes lingered on Rae's face before flitting over to Finn's face. Finn narrowed his eyes slightly, not sure how to read James.

"I think you're safe!" Rae laughed.

"O' course! Miss Beauty Queen's probably moved on to bigger and better things than me!" He laughed, "Like him." He nodded towards Finn, his eyes appraising him, "You got a thing for Chlo?" He asked.

"Um no…" Finn answered uncomfortably.

"Oh right?" James laughed, "You must be what, one of only about five guys who don't want her?"

"Aye, she not my type." Finn responded, wanting to always reassure Rae, his eyes found her face, but she was laughing with James.

"You loved that I never liked her didn't you Miss Earl?" He laughed and she nodded her head. Finn's ears pricked at his use of 'Miss Earl.'

"It made for a nice change!" Rae agreed, "But she deserves all the love she gets." Rae said honestly, "She such a good friend."

"Oh, you two close again?"

"James!" Rae laughed, "You're not all up to date with the gossip!" She hit his arm, "Where have you been these past few years?"

"Taking school way too seriously." He answered, "I wanna be a doctor so…" He sighed. "Well I better get going." He told her and looked back to Finn, "It was great to see you again Finn." He nodded awkwardly, Finn nodding in reply, still not sure what to make of him. James looked back at Rae with a huge grin, drawing her into his arms for a big hug. "See you around Earl!" He left without looking back and Rae locked the door behind him. Finn put James from his mind and pulled the coffee table up close to them while Rae got two cups and turned on the tv. Finn sprawled across the lounge and set up the pizza, garlic bread and coke all within arm's reach. Rae looked at him hogging all of the lounge, a piece of garlic bread already in his mouth and shook her head. She went to the lights to turn them off so they could watch the movie in darkness. She flicked it once and found herself having to flick it again. She sighed and tried to relax, to get it under control. As soon as the light went back on and then off again Finn jumped off the lounge and came to her. This light switch panel had a switch for the longue room and the kitchen on it. He put a hand on her lower back gently and put his fingers on the light switch to the kitchen and started to flick it in time with her. Rae turned her eyes to him.

"What are you doing?"

"We're in this together." He said simply, "We got another two to go." He said, knowing how many times she had to flick them. He saw a strange look in her eyes and tried to smile reassuringly, "We're always in this together, Rae."

"I don't want you to end up like me." She said and Finn took his fingers off the light.

"I were just trying another way to show I support you." He told her and she nodded.

"Message received." She said without looking at him and flicked the light another two times. He kissed her cheek.

"Do you need to go for another eight?" He asked and she nodded slowly. He tightened his hold of her waist but made no attempt to stop her. He watched as she flicked the lights another eight times. She took a deep breath.

"Alright." She smiled apologetically and Finn gave her the same smile in return. "Thanks for that." She turned to him.

"I just want you to know that I'm here. And you don't have to be ashamed or nothing."

"I know." She answered and stroked his face, "Thank you."

"Sorry I did a shite job of it." He said bracingly.

"No you didn't." She looked over at the pizza, "I'm starving." Finn took her hand and they headed back to the lounge, Finn once again spreading out on it.

"Alright, guess I'm sitting on the floor." She sulked slightly.

"Don't be daft, come lie on me." He opened his arms for her.

"I'm too heavy Finn." She lowered her eyes.

"No you're not, get your fucking arse over here!" She scoffed.

"Alright." Finn heard her tone; knew she was convinced that she was too heavy, but he was having none of it.

"Get that body on me." He said lustily as she laid down on him gingerly. He shifted slightly and sighed happily as she found a comfortable way to lie, pressed up against him, on her side, a great deal of her weight on him, the rest taken by the back of the lounge. He happily wrapped one arm around her shoulders, and with his free hand reached down for the garlic bread and handed her a piece. Rae found that she could eat easily in this position, but drinking would be harder. She put her head on his chest, grinning happily and settled in to watch the movie with him.

_'Canzonetta Sull'aria' by Mozart_

The weeks of the holidays breezed by beautifully, but all too fast. Chloe commented more than once that she was getting her wish; things were peaceful, settled. Tom and Rhys attended their outings at the pub, Danny came about a third of the time. They drank, they partied, they had a good time.

Everyone in the gang had also noted that this was the longest Rae and Finn had gone without arguing. It was Archie who noted to Finn, that it was the longest they'd gone without Phillip being around, Finn however had rejected that idea because he was focusing more on what Rhys had said; earning Rae's love and respect. Other lads were not his problem. It was easier said than done of course; James had piqued a small hint of jealousy in him, and the constant visits to Liam had made him grind his teeth. But for the most part, Finn was successfully making other lads not his focus when it came to his relationship with Rae. When it came to his relationship, Rae was to be his focus entirely now.

Rae had simply felt that it was a return to Finn's early cheeky, happy mood and was grateful for it. She didn't want to examine it too much in case it disappeared.

All too soon the 12th came and Finn was driving their car to London, Rae sitting beside him, her hand resting on his thigh as she watched the traffic move ahead of them. Chop's grandfather was staying in Italy for this summer and had allowed Chop the use of his terrace in Knightsbridge. It wasn't that far from his uncle's house in Kensington, so they already knew the area fairly well.

"Fuck Chop's family is fucking rich." Rae marvelled as they drove past Kensington Palace. The neighbourhoods surrounding the palace were filled with very rich people.

"I had no fucking idea how rich they are," Finn said, "He's right embarrassed about."

"Why the fuck would you be embarrassed about it?"

"Cos the rest of us aren't." Finn answered. "The closest we got to rich in our group of acquaintances, is Phil, I reckon." Finn mused.

"Yeah but his house is nothing like these." Rae countered.

"Exactly." Finn said pointedly, "Phil's family is like a baby in comparison to Chop's." Finn said happily; he was glad Phil wasn't this rich as well as all the other things he had going for him, "But even so, his house is impressive in comparison to mine." Finn continued.

"I prefer your house though." Rae responded honestly, "His house isn't that impressive you know."

"I know." Finn answered with a happy smirk, "But even so, Phil keeps it to himself. Imagine how Chop feels."

"Aye but Chop's direct family is poorer than mine." Rae said sadly, "It's so weird."

"But Chop's doing well for himself." Finn answered.

"O' course." Rae replied, "He's determined to not be his dad." Finn nodded his agreement.

"And the harder he works, and the better he does for himself and the less like his dad he is… the more his rich relatives like him." Finn said with sage nod. They pulled up in front of the terraced house and Rae shook her head.

"Bloody hell." She whispered. "Are you sure this is the right address"

"Aye." Finn answered softly.

"None of these places are worth less than a couple o' million pound you know." She said softly, almost afraid to think it. "And Chop told me that this is the least expensive home his grand-da owns." Rae added. Finn nodded his head slowly, Chop had told him that too, and got out to open the door for her. He carried their bags easily, his increasing strength becoming more apparent even to him. And she had the key, given to her by Chop with grave warnings to not lose it. Rae unlocked the door and was greeted by a warm home, painted in neutral tones with tasteful, elegant décor.

"Chop says there's an indoor pool downstairs." Finn told her and she grinned, her mind going instantly to sex. She saw Finn sharing her grin and wished that they were staying alone for longer before the gang came.

"There's a fucking lift!" She laughed and they took the lift to the top floor of the six storey house, and looked around for the master bedroom. It had a huge king bed with a massive ensuite, another huge round bathtub like the one in the Sutherland house and a dressing room, filled with clothes. Rae pulled a face and closed the wardrobe.

"I think we're supposed to be staying in one of the guests rooms." Rae whispered as if they were trespassing. But Finn shrugged.

"The sheets are clean, the bed is huge, the bathtub is perfect… I'm staying here."

"Alright." Rae grinned cheekily.

"Fancy a bath?" He asked and she nodded excitedly.

"But first I wanna give you one of three birthday presents." She grinned.

"You what?' He looked surprised, "I thought you weren't getting anything that cost money…?" She sat him down on the bed.

"They didn't cost that much…" Rae's mind went to her necklace, "Certainly not as much as the presents you got me." She added but Finn shook his head.

"I were already happy for what you did on me birthday." When May 9th had come around, they'd ditched school and made love all morning at his place; Rae taking her time to do everything to please him. He hadn't needed anything more than that. But then she had driven him to the river and laid out a blanket for them. She had made a picnic lunch for him, including a chocolate cake, made from scratch. Given how much she hated cooking and how bad she felt she was at it, Finn had been deeply touched by the effort and care she'd taken. The food had been quite good by Rae's standards of cooking, even the chocolate cake, which Finn had found a large piece of egg shell in, but had managed to dispose of it without Rae ever knowing. After they had eaten they had laid around lazily in the sun, Rae had produced a sheet of paper from her wallet and unfolded it; reading him a short story she had written for him; about a boy and a girl falling in love, overcoming difficulties and living happily ever after. She had handed him the hand written story and he had treasured it, keeping it folded in his wallet, taking it with him everywhere. The gang had headed down to the river after school and work and they had had beers in the park until about 10pm. It was Thursday and everyone had places to be on Friday, so they had all headed home and he'd fucked Rae quite passionately in the backseat of their car in the driveway to his home. The next evening his dad shouted the gang dinner at the pub; Finn had chosen the pub and the Friday night rather than the Thursday night, so that he could get wasted with his mates. After dinner quite a few more people showed up for the party, and Gary paid for the gang's drinks all night. Even Rae's mum and Karim came for the pub dinner, but they didn't stay long for the party. Finn had been infinitely content with this birthday, but on Saturday morning, his father presented him with a new motorbike and he'd been beyond happy. Linda and Karim had bought him and Rae new helmets. He hadn't expected one third of what he'd gotten already so for her to be saying she had something else for him was a real surprise.

"I had to wait a bit longer to be able to afford it." She apologised, "so that's why you're getting them now, so late… plus one of them needed to be London." She grinned enigmatically and he furrowed his brow in excited anticipation and surprise.

"Had to be in London?" All he got in way of a reply was a nod. She dug into her bag and produced a small envelope. He grinned happily and opened it up. It was the £100 gift card for red eye. Finn's jaw dropped.

"Holy fuck!" He said happily; £100 would go very far in red eye. "How d'you afford this?" He asked amazed.

"Shush." She responded to his question and kissed him when he looked up at her. "I just did." She added and he accepted that. "You still got another two to come."

"When?" He asked keenly.

"Wednesday and Thursday." She told him and wandered off into the ensuite, slowly stripping off her clothes. He watched her go and then looked back down at the gift card. It was perfect; he could spend a whole Saturday in the store spending it, listening to CDs and carefully deciding what he wanted. She'd be there with him, arguing with him over which albums were better, but resolutely refusing to tell him what to actually buy. He slipped the gift card into his wallet and stripped his clothes off hurriedly. He looked into the ensuite at her filling up the bath tub and went back to his bag; he'd packed a few books that he wanted to read to her. After she had read her hand written story to him, he had been struck by the idea of reading something to her. He looked down at the books and tried to choose which one. He looked up out of the window, and then around the room as if it would provide an answer for him. He saw an old fashioned record player with a record still on the deck. He walked over and turned the machine on before carefully putting the stylus on the record. Rae poked her head out of the ensuite when the classical music started. He grinned and turned back to her.

"I believe an evening of high culture and love making is called for." He said and picked up the book he knew he had to read if they were listening to this music. "Thank you for me present." He kissed her lips and groaned appreciatively at the feel of her fingers running down his chest.

"Wait till you get the others." She responded, and when she bent to check the water temperature, Finn slid his fingers down her crack familiarly, Rae enjoying the way he touched her at every opportunity. He got in the bath and opened his arms for her to lie down next to him.

"I fucking love these big baths." Rae said, "There's enough room for ten people in them."

"Aye." He kissed her forehead as she nestled down into his arms. He carefully kept the book out of the water.

"What you got there?"

"I wanted to read you something I quite like." He hoped she'd like the idea as much as he did.

"Alright." She grinned, her curiosity piqued.

"The choice might surprise you."

"Try me." She said, her eyes closed, her ear pressed to his chest hearing his heartbeat.

"'Akhenaten' by Dorothy Porter." He said, knowing she'd be surprised, and she shot a look at him, exactly as he had expected.

"Phil's book?" She asked bewildered.

"Aye." He answered, "It's a good book. Not gonna hold the fact that it's Phil's against it." She grinned in response to his joke, "You read it?"

"Not yet." She hadn't wanted to rile him up by being seen reading it so close to the argument they'd had. She was waiting till things settled down further. Seems they had settled far more than she thought.

"Well allow me." He opened the book and started to read it slowly to her. Rae closed her eyes and enjoyed the sound of Finn's voice speaking poetry to her. She had already read the first poem when Phil had loaned her the book, but hearing Finn read it made it infinitely more magical. She was entranced and Finn could tell how much she was enjoying this by the small noises she made when the poetry was particularly clever or beautiful. Rae was drawing all the same parallels Finn did, thinking of their own relationship growing together as Akhenaten's and Nefertiti's relationship blossomed. Finn smiled as he opened up the next poem and let his fingers trace around her nipple as he read the title.

"Nefertiti rides me." Rae chuckled and looked up at him as he read, "Her cunt slippery on the hot skin of my belly. She's sticky with my glue – that high stink of seed!" Rae chortled and slowly got up to straddle him as he read, "My tongue tastes her sap, a sweet-honey shot with salt, still wild in the corners of my mouth." Rae groaned and kissed his neck as he read, determined to finish the poem, "I want to hold her, I want to lie still," Rae chuckled at the parallel that was easily drawn; right now Finn wanted her to be still too, "but she's not finished, her eyes are shut, her breath a stammering breeze, now, now, oh, yes." Rae reached down and slid Finn's cock into her and he groaned and bit his bottom lip, keeping his eye on the book, "she growls like the desert, melts like sleep and anoints me exquisitely." He started to gasp as Rae rode him, "I'm her war horse. She looks down from hooded eyes and laughs, laughs. I love her more than Aten." He finished the poem and threw the book towards the door of the ensuite carefully – to stop it from getting wet as water splashed out of the bath tub; Rae sliding on him exquisitely. His hands went to her face. "I love you." He told her through an ecstatic sigh.

"I love you Finn." She was still laughing as she bent down to kiss his lips passionately.

_'I Can't Seem to Make You Mine' by The Ramones_

Phil yawned, stretched and opened his eyes slowly, looking around his room groggily. He and his mates from London and Kelsey and her mates had had quite a blinder last night and his head was letting him know about it this morning. He had been in London for three weeks already and he'd been very busy.

Only two days after getting to London, one of Kelsey's mates had made a move on him. She had the most beautiful big brown eyes and he had been lost in her eyes for so long that before he knew it she was kissing him, her hands going down his pants. He had stopped her moments later and she had sulked so much for the rest of the night that Kelsey had gotten cranky with her.

The next morning Kelsey had sat him down and asked him why he hadn't just gotten a free blow job. He had poured his heart out about Rae to his sister and she had given him a huge hug and one sentence of advice:

"Get over her."

So he had decided to try and do that, because it made sense to him. Rae might not have told him no, but if he was honest, his chances were slim to none. He had spent the last three weeks trying to wipe her from his mind. He hadn't gotten a 'free blowjob' but he had gotten very drunk numerous times, made out with several different girls, fingering one of them to a shuddering orgasm that had both surprised and delighted him, and tried to not think about Rae at all. So of course he thought about Rae every day. But he felt that he was getting over her slowly, in fact, he was starting to tell himself that what he felt for her was a deep friendship love. He was sure that the next time he saw her in a little over 3 weeks back at school, he'd be able to continue to tell himself that. He would conquer this. He was thinking of calling the girl he had fingered; getting to know her better. Maybe that would be his task for the day. He had no desire to drink again for a few days, and most of his mates were at work; most of them hadn't gone to College, so only a few of them were available on weekdays. A quite day alone might be best, followed by dinner with that girl… he couldn't remember her name.

_Bad show Phil._

He chided himself as he plodded into his ensuite.

_If you're going to put your fingers inside a girl, you should at least remember her name… or even know it!_

He thought with horror as he realised he'd never gotten her name at all; just her number.

"Oh god." He said in awe at his own terribleness. He peed as he told himself to not become one of those lads. Those lads who treated girls as disposable interchangeable objects. Being in London with the lads he'd grown up with before being moved to Stamford had been good for him. And Kelsey coming for a visit to see her friends had been the best thing of all. She always helped him keep his focus and not get too caught up with his parents and Stamford and playing the game of keeping up appearances. Being in London helped remind him of who he was and what his true dreams were. Even if being in this house did nothing to help.

"Only one more year." He mumbled to himself. Once College was done he'd be out of his parent's house forever. He had enough money for university saved already, so he didn't feel too guilty about wasting his allowance over the summer holidays like this. And by the time he ran out of money for university, he'd be 21 years old and his trust fund would be available. His mother had set them up for him and Kelsey when the money had started rolling in, back when she was more interested in being a good mother than a rich wife. The amount of money in the trust finds was obscene, and they couldn't be touched by their parents. In two years' time Kelsey would be rich, and in four years' time, Phillip would be too. But Phillip cared much less for that than he did for getting the marks and portfolio he needed to get into a good acting course. He went back to his room and pulled on a pair of jeans and nothing else. He pulled up the zip but not the button and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Kelsey was in the kitchen making herself a cheese sandwich. She didn't have a bedroom anymore because she had been disowned by their parents, so she was sleeping in one of the guest rooms. If their parents found out they'd be furious.

"Want one?" She asked and he nodded, clearing his throat.

"Thanks." He said and went to the fridge to get a can of coke. "I'm gonna sit on the stoop." He told her.

"I'll bring it out to you." She looked up at him. "You going out like that?" She asked him and he looked down at his bare chest and shrugged.

"What?"

"Three weeks ago you worried about me seeing you topless, now the whole of Herbert Crescent gets to see it?" She chuckled. Phillip considered this for a moment.

"Well having a bunch o' girls hit on you every time you go drinking improves your self-esteem." He replied with another shrug.

"Figured out you got our good genetics huh?" She grinned, "You're as fit as me." Phillip scrunched up his face.

"I dunno." He mumbled, "But I know it's no big hardship for most people to see me topless." He watched his sister put a piece of chocolate in her mouth and she threw him a piece when she saw him looking. He savoured the flavour with a grin.

"Forget it Phil, the Seymour's are hot!" She laughed.

"You don't worry that that's a bit vain to say?" He asked with a furrowed brow.

"Nope." She answered simply, "It's honest."

"But then are there people you think are not hot?"

'The cop that arrested me last month." She laughed.

"How'd you get out o' that?" He asked as she threw him another piece of chocolate.

"Fucked him." She shrugged, "You men are all alike."

"Thanks." He shook his head and laughed, "Alright, the sun's calling me." He looked over at the clock, it was only 6am. "Ugh." He muttered in distaste and went out to the front stairs to sit and watch the world for a while. He might even go for a walk in the park in a bit; he'd have to put some more clothes on for that though. Kelsey came out and handed him two sandwiches on a plate and the rest of the block of chocolate before sitting beside him.

"That house needs some art." She nodded to the neighbouring terrace house. Phil grinned, their terrace house and the neighbour's house were the two largest in the row. She wanted to burn down their house one day, and now she wanted to graffiti the neighbour's house. She had taken the withdrawal of their parent's love very hard. He understood that.

"What kind of art?"

"Something anti-capitalist." She mused as the door opened. "Hello, first time we'll ever see our new neighbour!" She hissed to Phillip and he looked away, not wanting to stare. They had assumed that the old Peters family had sold the place because no one had been in it for ages and they were keen to see the new rich folks that owned it now, "Not what I expected." She mumbled and Phillip rolled his eyes.

"Phillip?" He heard her surprised voice and looked over, his mouth agape.

"Rae?" His voice cracked spectacularly and Kelsey looked down quickly to hide her laugh. She was wearing a raggedy old dressing gown that reminded him of a tube of toothpaste. Her hair looked wild; like she'd just gotten out of bed after a night of spectacular shagging. She had a cup of tea in her hands, her feet were bare, and it suddenly struck Phil that she was possibly wearing nothing under that dressing gown.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, clearly amazed to be seeing him.

"Um." He replied, not wanting to say the truth.

"This is our parent's house." Kelsey answered with a straight face. She saw Phil lower his eyes and blush from the corner of her eye. Then she had to hold in her laughter in the exquisite moment where her baby brother realised he wasn't wearing a shirt in front of the girl he was in love with. He cleared his throat and went from leaning back on the stairs to sitting up, his arms shielding his naked torso, almost hiding behind his sister.

"This is your place?" She asked him in awe. And then she remembered her manners, "You must be Kelsey?" She asked apologetically, "I'm sorry for the dodgy introductions. I'm Rae, I go to College with Phillip."

"Oh I know." Kelsey answered. "He's told me all about you!"

"Oh right?" Rae chuckled, "I'm sure I'm only half as bad as he made me out to be."

"He tells me you're lovely." She tried to not laugh as she heard Phil groan quietly to himself.

"Ah well then I'm twice as bad as he said." Kelsey smiled graciously and turned to Phil.

"Well I'd better go inside and let you two catch up." She turned back to Rae, "Nice to meet you Rae." She smiled genuinely and got up, retreating into the house. Phillip looked up at Rae properly for the first time and all the feelings he had for her crashed back into him, winding him with their ferocity. No. It wasn't friendship love.

"This your place?" He leaned down into his legs casually, crossing his arms over his knees, hiding his torso and reached for one of his sandwiches.

"No Phillip." Rae answered deadpan. "Why would you think this is my place?" She laughed at him and shook her head.

"Cos…" He nodded at her dressing gown and she shrugged.

"It's Chop's grandfather's place." She explained and Philip only partially understood that; Chop?

"Oh right." He cleared his throat and took a sip of his coke before beginning his sandwich.

"I've never seen you have coke before." She said eyeing his food.

"Yeah." He said softly, "My parents don't let me have it. Or bread, or cheese, or chocolate… or a whole myriad of things." He looked at her and lowered his eyes.

"They worried you'll get fat?" She asked him astutely and he looked up with a rueful smile and bit into his sandwich with real relish.

"Careful Phil." She joked, "The fat'll come out o' nowhere and attack you. You'll be sorry you messed with danger like this." He laughed and took another bite.

"I fucking love cheese!" He told her happily.

"Did you just say fuck?" Rae asked him, "You never say fuck!"

"I say it quite a bit actually." Phil answered, "Surprised you never heard me."

"I guess you're on your best behaviour around me." She grinned and came and sat on the stairs with him.

"So how long are you here for?" He asked her, desperately hoping Finn wasn't here too. Finn, however, was sleeping happily upstairs, exhausted after their extended shag-fest last night and this morning. Rae was pretty tired too, but insomnia was biting again.

"Till the 24th. Got here yester." She told him and he offered her a bite of her sandwich but she refused and drank her tea.

"I'm here for the rest of the holidays. We should hang out while you're around."

"Aye." Rae answered and then considered if Finn would be ok with that. "The last time we talked, I recall that you was telling me some Qabbani poems." She reminded him.

"Ah yes, I did imply I would tell you more." He grinned, "But I'm rather hung over, and I'm not so sure that my brain's working at full speed this morning."

"You're hung over?" Rae asked in surprise.

"Sadly yes." He looked at her surprised face and enjoyed that his actions had shocked her a little.

"What have you been up to these holidays Phillip?" She asked in mock severity.

"What haven't I been up to?" He laughed.

"I'm shocked." Rae responded.

"Good." He finished his sandwich and drank some coke. "Qabbani." He said with a sigh, "Alright, let's see what I can remember from my favourite poem of his yeah?" Rae nodded.

Finn woke up to an empty bed, but there was a short letter on her pillow 'taking tea on the doorsteps.' He grinned and got up to look out the window at the front stoop. He saw her, talking with Phillip.

"What the fuck?" He asked softly. "Why is he…?" Realisation dawned on him as he recognised Phil's state of undress; he lived here. He was this rich.

"It's called 'letter from under the sea.'" Phil took a moment to gather his thoughts before beginning the poem; "If you are my friend," he turned his eyes to her, "help me to leave you. Or if you are my lover, help me so I can be healed of you." Rae felt that he was speaking on a very personal level to her, even though she knew it was a poem written by another person, "If I knew that the ocean is very deep, I would not have swam. If I knew how I would end, I would not have began." He looked down at Rae's lips and her breath caught, this poem, written by a Syrian diplomat, was about her for him.

Finn saw the way they maintained eye contact, he could see Phil's face, and only the back of her head, but he could see the intensity all over their bodies.

"I desire," Phil continued softly, his eyes flicking up to her eyes, "so teach me to not desire. Teach me to cut the roots of your love from the depths. Teach me how tears may die in the eyes and love may commit suicide." He stopped and furrowed his brows, looking down, embarrassed, "There's a lot more like that… it ends with him thinking that he's breathing underwater, but then realising he's actually drowning."

But Finn's eyes were not as clouded as they had been in the past, and he saw the slightly guarded way she held herself. She had interest in him, beyond friendship even, there was no doubt of that, but it didn't match his interest in her.

"Phil…" Rae didn't know how to ask him if that poem was about her for him.

"Poetry wasn't the only thing that happened that night Rae." He kept his eyes lowered, "There was that shit with Finn." He looked up at her and she felt her heart skip a beat. There was no questioning the desire in his eyes. She lowered her eyes and caught sight of his body as she did. Phil was very fit. "Are you alright after that?" He asked her sincerely and she furrowed her brows.

"Why would you think I'm not?" Rae asked him, her mind simply bemoaning the fact that things just got a whole lot more complicated.

Finn was surprised to see that bit of interest from Rae, but before his anger rose, his mind reminded him sharply of Elsa and he was silenced instantly. She looked at Phillip in the same way he looked at Elsa. And in all fairness, if he were to have a problem with that, then he needed to address his continuing silent infatuation with Elsa.

"Because it was a very ugly scene." He answered. "And I don't know what Finn was like after that… to you…?" Rae heard the worry in his voice.

"Finn is always lovely to me." But Rae realised it was a lie. He had yelled her that time when she went jogging, that had been awful.

"You guys do argue a lot." He noted.

"Actually a lot o' the arguments are over you." She said and raised her eyes to him, wanting to provoke him into telling her how he felt. She needed to uncomplicate this thing right now. Phil felt an unexpected sense of elation, followed by a crushing sense of guilt; he hated to be the one causing her so much pain. He nodded sadly.

"Has he told you to stop being friends with me?" He asked numbly.

"He's never told me to stop being friends with you." Rae said honestly. She omitted the fact that he had come close to doing it. "And I don't think he ever will." She added, "He's not what you think he is."

"Alright." Phil said softly and unfolded his arms, his worry over his naked torso forgotten, "What if he does tell you to?" He asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"If he does." Rae started softly, but knew she had to strengthen her voice, "I'll comply with his wishes." Phil gave her a painful look and she fortified her heart against his pain, "He'd only ask me if it really meant a lot to him." She defended Finn, "And what kind o' partner would I be if I didn't do the things he needs me to?"

Finn understood now that the reason he had been so upset with Phil was because he wasn't as disinterested as Elsa apparently was. Finn knew he'd be happy with someone like Elsa; she'd feed the more hedonistic elements of his personality nicely, and he could love her easily. But she had clearly made herself unavailable to him, and he was fine with that, because in reality, his desire for Rae far outstripped anything he felt for Elsa: Elsa was a candle, Rae was the sun. But Rae's candle, Phillip, wanted her desperately. He laughed.

"The sun is fearing the candle." He whispered to himself.

His mind connected the dots quickly. Rae believed that Elsa was superior to her, and in some ways he supposed she would be, like life and sexual experience due to age… but Finn didn't see it that way. In his mind Rae was superior in all ways. And Finn knew with no doubt at all that he belonged to Rae. Finn saw the parallel to his own fear that Phil was superior to him, and in some ways he might be… Finn realised with perfect clarity that it was ridiculous to worry about Phillip, because Rae didn't need to worry about Elsa; he would never choose Elsa over Rae.

"Sometimes the heat of the candle seems fierce, but the sun could obliterate the candle in a heartbeat." He laughed to himself and went to the ensuite for a shower. Phil still irked him, because he understood that attraction Rae had towards him, she'd probably always have it, just as he'd always admired Elsa… but he didn't fear Phillip anymore. He understood it now. He sang happily in the shower feeling strangely liberated.

"I'm sorry Phillip." She said softly, lowering her eyes.

"Does our friendship mean nothing?" His sorrow finally got to her and she took his hand.

"Of course you mean something to me." She said firmly, "This friendship is as important to me as my friendship with Archie, and that's saying something cos he's the only other person with four names in the gang!" She told him and he grinned wanly. "But Finn will always come first."

"Lucky he'll never ask then." Phil had meant to sound bitter, but had ended up sounding oddly happy with that. He hated how he could never control himself fully around her.

"Yeah!" She answered sunnily, "I don't wanna lose our friendship Phil." She said honestly, "I do tell him that's all it is." She said pointedly, "I'm not sure why he keeps seeing more." She shrugged, "We know better though." She tried to get him to agree that all they had was friendship. He nodded thoughtfully and Rae felt relieved.

"So is he here?" He asked carefully.

"Aye." She answered with equal care.

"Well I guess we won't be hanging out then." Rae finished her tea and shrugged.

"You never know Phil." She hugged him gently, noticing his nakedness even more and withdrew from the hug suddenly. She lowered her eyes. "I'll see you round, me ol' pal." She got up and wandered back to her place, Phil watching her go. He picked up his second sandwich and ate it thoughtfully.

_Why did she pull out of the hug so suddenly? _

_It was cos I were semi-naked._

_Did it gross her out?_

_Or did she like it?_

_Stop it Phil._

The words of his sister came back to him.

_Get over her._

"Easier said than done." He muttered darkly.

_'Vow' by Garbage_

Rae furrowed her brows and climbed the stairs instead of taking the lift. She was re-thinking some of the things she said to Phillip now, not sure that she had been clear enough with him. She got to two flights and looked longingly at the lift.

"Nope." She told herself and took the third and then the fourth flight of stairs reluctantly. There were even underground floors on this house. She was just in awe of it, but was very glad she didn't have to take the stairs from the very bottom floor, with the pool up to the top one. She heard him singing happily before she got to the top of the last flight of stairs and grinned, all thoughts of Phil leaving her head. She loved it when he was this happy. She went into the ensuite and watched him showering for a while before he saw her and motioned for her to join him. She undid her robe and let it fall to the ground. He put his arms on her shoulders as soon as she walked into the huge shower.

"Good morning Mrs Nelson." He grinned and kissed her lips firmly.

"Good morning to you!" She giggled, taken aback by his happiness. He was like the sun when he was in this mood, and she soaked in is warmth happily. Finn noticed her happiness, understood that it fed off his own, and felt that he understood Rhys's words even better. He would work to keep that smile on her face.

"What would you like to do today?" He asked.

"Well I gotta make a phone call." She said, "Privately." She said pointedly and he gave her a curious face, "and then we can plan our day around that…"

"Around a phone call?" He asked confused.

"Around what I find out from the phone call." She gave him an enigmatic smile.

"Is this one of me birthday presents?" He guessed.

"Yes." She answered, "So you need to take a walk when I make the call." She told him.

"Alright." He kissed her lips again before grabbing some shampoo, "Posh shit." He grinned as he used it.

"You won't believe who I ran into." She said cautiously as he rinsed his hair.

"Phillip." He answered and she stopped, surprised he knew.

"What? How did…?"

"I looked out the window to look at you taking tea on the stoop." He explained.

"You didn't…" She regretted starting the sentence as soon as she opened her mouth.

"Run down the stairs to grab you away from the evil suitor?" He grinned.

"Suitor?" She shook her head.

"You can't deny he wants you." He rolled his eyes.

"No I can't." She said with a tone that made Finn realise something had changed.

"What happened?" He furrowed his brows, "Did he say something?"

"Not really." She said softly, "But the way he looked at me… even I couldn't deny it." She lowered her eyes, "It was overtly sexual." She raised her eyes to him, "I told him that I'd choose you over him though." She reassured him, "But I don't think I was clear enough now that I look back on it."

"Don't worry about it." Finn answered, still annoyed at Phillip. He wasn't afraid of Philip, and that meant that his temper was easily controllable, but it didn't change that Phillip was irksome because he could see how tired Rae was of the whole thing.

"I just want him as a friend. I like him as a friend. But I worry that I can't have that."

"If that's what my girl wants." Finn said, "That's what she'll have." Finn said commandingly. "I'll make it happen."

"You don't have to." She sighed, "I know how you love to hate him."

"I really do." He laughed. "But he has done some pretty shitty things Rae." He said, "I know I don't own you, but he could respect our relationship a bit more, you know?"

"I know." She answered, "I didn't realise how bad it was. I definitely helped create the situation." She groaned, "I have to change my behaviour around him."

"No you don't." Finn said instantly, "I'm the one who created the situation the most by being so possessive. It made him more determined to have you." He shushed her gently when she began to protest, "You treat him as a friend; you're fine. You have done nothing wrong. It's the two lads involved that have been the twats."

"I still need to be clearer."

"Aye, if he tells you he loves him, be clear with him. Otherwise, just be his friend. That's clear enough to anyone who's being honest with themselves."

"You sound more like Rhys than you." She said suspiciously.

"Good." He said, "Cos I been a right prick about this and I'd rather be supportive of you." He gave her a sly look, "I probably will still be a bit of a prick to Phil but." He grinned.

"Oh aye?" She asked with a grin.

"The fucker deliberately riles me up. He does it a lot when you're not looking." He added, letting Rae into a part of their rivalry she hadn't been allowed into in the past, "I'm never not gonna give it back, you know?"

"I don't expect you to not be you Finn. I love you." She told him firmly, "If he's a prick to you, you give it back." She furrowed her brows, "I don't wanna be friends with someone who's a prick to my boyfriend!"

"Oh I started it." Finn laughed, "Don't worry about it."

"You started it?"

"I told you that me being possessive started a lot o' this shit." He shook his head, "He just had a crush on you when I started in on him. Now he's completely in love with you."

"You think he wouldn't have ever loved me if you hadn't been possessive?" She asked curiously.

"Oh no, he would have." Finn said, "He was probably in love with you that first time he spoke to you, but he didn't realise it. If I hadn't o' been possessive, he might not of ever realised it." Rae considered this.

"Because your possessiveness made him scared he'd never get the chance to be with me." Finn nodded.

"Most College romances only last a few months. He was willing to wait for us to fizzle out. But my possessiveness made it clear to him that I wasn't going anywhere; that there wasn't gonna be a fizzling out." Finn shrugged, "made him want you more."

"Pushed his feeling into sharp focus." Rae said slowly.

"And made him more self-aware and determined." Finn sighed, "You can see his progression; he started being scared o' me, not replying and ended up standing up to me, then deliberately riling me up."

"You kinda created your own self-fulfilling prophecy huh?" She grinned at him.

"But I learned a valuable lesson, cos me girl is kind and patient with me bullshit." He grinned appreciatively at her.

"No more kind or patient than you are with mine." She reminded him and he shrugged.

"People are complicated." He said, "Life has ups and downs… If you're not willing to take the good with the bad, you'll never be happy." She kissed him, hard. Finn wrapped his arms around her waist and held her to him; his sun.

After the shower he picked up 'Akhenaten' and watched Rae take a piece of paper out of her diary. He saw a phone number on it and felt curiosity gnawing at him.

"I'll take this back to Phillip while you call then?" He held up the book and she grinned at him.

"Alright." She said, deciding not to tell him to play nice. What would be the point? After Finn finally admitted that he loved to hate Phil, Rae started to wonder if even half of their rivalry was about her at all. She didn't really care. If Finn was okay with them being friends, and Phil could keep his being in love shit to a minimum, then she was happy. He kissed her and headed down the stairs.

He pressed the door bell and sucked his teeth while he waited for the door to be answered. A beautiful young woman answered the door and looked Finn up and down obviously.

"Coming to London wasn't a waste of time after all." She smiled seductively, "Hi, I'm Kelsey. How can I help you?"

"I'm after Phil." Finn said disinterestedly, "Tell him Finn's here. He'll be expecting me."

"Oh." Kelsey said unimpressed, "London's still a waste o' bleedin' time." She rolled her eyes, "You wanna give my little brother a fucking break?" She admonished him sternly and Finn had to stop himself from laughing at how quickly her mood changed, "He can't help who he loves any more than you can. And he is trying to get over her."

"He won't." Finn said knowingly, "You don't just get over Rae."

"Right, so you're bollocksing 'im for something you know he can't stop?" She asked unimpressed. "Cos no, he can't help who he loves and he can't just get over her, but he can help how he acts." He answered firmly.

"Yeah, so can you." She said completely unfazed. Finn grinned; he liked this girl.

"Yeah alright." He admitted.

"Are you here to be a prick to him?" She asked.

"A little." Finn admitted and she rolled her eyes.

"Alright, well he told me to expect you so…" She looked back into the house and called out Phillip's name loudly.

"Is it dick-wad?" Phillip called back.

"Yep." She answered loudly and Finn chuckled. Phil sauntered in, still wearing no shirt and stood in the door.

"Thanks Kelsey." He said softly.

"Play nice you fuckers." She said and left.

"I like your sister." Finn said with a grin.

'What you wanna fuck every girl I love?" Phil asked with a sour look.

"Depends." Finn said with a grin, "What's your mother look like?" Phillip looked away and shook his head.

"Alright Australopithecine, commence threatening me over Rae." Phil leaned on the doorframe and crossed his arms nonchalantly.

"Australopithecine." Finn said in an impressed tone. "That's a good one." He nodded.

"Surprised you can say it."

"I'm good at sciences." Finn explained and held up the book. "I'm here about this book." Phillip looked at it.

'What about it?" He asked, not sure where Finn was going with this. "Want me to stop loaning her books to read? That's a bit petty, even for you…"

"No, please, keep going." Finn answered and Phillip furrowed his brow, trying to detect the sarcasm, the threat… anything untoward.

"I might give her 'the Story of O' next." Phil said with a grin.

"Oh yeah, what's that about?" Finn asked.

"It's about turning a woman into a sex slave." Phil said, "Basically." Finn narrowed his eyes, his good mood ebbing slightly. Phil was really trying to push those buttons. But then he remembered Rae riding him in the bath tub last night and grinned broadly.

"I think she'd like that book." Finn nodded his head, "So would I." Phil heard the hint of suggestion and looked away moodily.

"Oh well, I don't have a copy of it, so I can't." He changed his tune.

"Pity." Finn had to stop himself from laughing. "Anyway, I came to return this one." Finn handed the book back to Phil and Phillip shook his head.

"You didn't even let her read it, did you?" Phillip lowered his eyes and looked at the book thoughtfully.

"No." Finn grinned sadistically, "I read it to her."

"Fuck off Lyn. Big caveman like you wouldn't understand it… wouldn't even be interested." Phil shot him a dirty look but Finn just kept on grinning.

"Oh come on Avril."

"Avril?" Phil scoffed.

"It rhymes." Finn laughed before taking on a more serious demeanour. "No really Phil." Phil looked at Finn suspiciously, "It were a great book." Finn continued, ignoring the look Phil was giving him, "you got great taste in literature."

"I know." He answered sceptically; deeply suspicious of Finn's words. "Did you actually read it to her?"

"Aye." Finn grinned, trying to keep the sadistic edge out of his face, "I quite liked the poem 'Nefertiti rides me.'" Phil rolled his eyes.

"Of course you did." He shook his head.

"So did Rae." Finn finished suggestively, "Be sorry to see that book go." Phil narrowed his eyes, understanding what Finn was hinting at. "Although the whole second half of it is quite… disturbing." Finn continued, "That Akhenaten fella is a wanker." Phillip scoffed and looked away.

"Yeah." He said softly.

"That book is horrifying in parts!" Finn chuckled. "But brilliant." He added, "And Rae seems to enjoy disturbing stories like this so… good choice Philly me lad." Finn grinned sadistically as he watched Phil's eyebrows furrow in confusion. It would never not be fun messing with Phillip.

"Did Rae tell you to play nice?" Phil asked slowly.

"No." Finn answered honestly. "I still really wanna smash your face in." Finn said with a happy tone of voice that confused Phil, "But fuck it, I'm in a good mood today."

"Oh good." Phillip said unimpressed, "Then by all means bless someone else with your mood." He started to close the door and Finn laughed.

"See you round Dillip."

"As pleasant to see you as ever Quinn." Phillip closed the door and looked down at the book. He flicked through the pages looking for anything odd. There was nothing. "Knowing that wanker he probably rubbed his cock all over it." Phillip left it on the table and shook his head in disgust at the thought. "Fuck I hate that guy."

_'Erotica' by Madonna_

It was nearly 9pm and she knew she had to get a move on. Rae piled her hair into a high messy ponytail. She was getting used to wearing her hair like this because of Aiesha and her little pulling hands, but tonight she wanted it to look sexy. She pulled it out, brushed her hair aggressively, nervously and then put it back up in neat high pony tail that suited the dress more. Izzy's green dress had taught Rae that she looked quite good without underwear on, so she wore none under this dress; no bra, no knickers. Her breasts filled the top and moved when she moved; not brutally held in place by a bra. She unbuttoned a few buttons to show some cleavage.

"I love this dress." She whispered happily to herself. This would be the first time Finn saw her violet dress that she'd finally gotten off layby from curvy girl boutique. She undid another button and grinned, "Positively obscene." She said in a posh accent, pretending she was a lady of this house. If she was wearing a bra she wouldn't be able to wear the dress unbuttoned this low without it showing. She leaned forward and watched her breasts move forward in the dress. Finn was waiting downstairs in jeans and a black singlet. She looked at the address again:

The Towers

53 The Bishops Avenue

That was it. But it had been easy to find on the map, and she had already memorised how to get there. When she had called the woman, who had a strong and very seductive French accent, had immediately demanded to know who had given her the number. Rae had told her, and she had become immediately warm and given her the address. She spun in front of the mirror and saw the skirt flare up revealing her bare bottom. She shook her head at her own nerve.

"What is it with London?' She asked herself; this was the second time she'd be going out with no underwear on in this city. She finished up her make-up carefully; dark smoky eyes and bright red lipstick. She wore plain black shoes with no heel because she wanted her height to be good for Finn, and no jewellery other than her necklace. She looked herself over in the mirror one last time and slowly headed downstairs.

The minute Finn saw her he paused, his cigarette held to his lips, his eyes slowly crawling up and down her body, and then resting on her face.

"I like your dress." He said softly and she grinned before undoing another button, making her lack of bra undeniably obvious. "What have you got planned Miss Earl?" He asked her with a slow, seductive voice.

"You'll see." She handed him the piece of paper. "We're going there." She said and he looked at the address, his eyes quickly flashing back up to her face.

"This place is called Millionaire's Row, Rae." Finn said surprised. Rae tried to keep her confident demeanour; Rae had asked Chloe how to always look confident, her advice had been; 'fake it till you make it babe.'

"Really?" She asked in as confident a voice as she could muster, smirking at the end to make it seem that she already knew that.

"Yeah," Finn answered, "Benji were telling us about on the way to Knebworth, apparently the Saudi royal family bought a whole bunch o' the houses on the street about 5 years ago, and they're all abandoned now… even though they're worth millions o' pounds." He scrunched up his face in memory, "he was saying we should throw a party in one of 'em."

"Who'd think to do such a thing?" She asked with a sly grin, understanding why the live sex show was being performed there tonight.

"Oh I see." He understood, "We're going to a rave or something at one o' these empty mansions?"

"Or something." Rae answered non-committal and turned to leave. Finn cocked an eyebrow at her as she left and got up, sucking on his cigarette heavily.

They drove in silence for a short distance before Rae slowly lifted her skirt. Finn looked over quickly before having to put his eyes back on the road.

"No knickers?" He asked, sure that he'd caught a glimpse of her bush. Rae made a soft noise in the affirmative. She slipped her hands between her legs, Finn seeing her action from the corner of his eye. Rae put a foot on the dash board and leaned the seat back slightly, her skirt pulled up, Finn could see her fingers moving in the corner of his eye. He took another look and groaned in appreciation; she was masturbating. He reached over to touch her and she instantly took his hand and put it on her cunt. Finn kept his eyes on the road and groaned throatily as he felt her fingers pushing his fingers between her wet pussy lips. He needed no urging to slide his fingers into her cunt and she groaned, her fingers rubbing her clit while he fingered her.

"Fuck." Finn withdrew from her and changed gears, crunching them in his haste, before quickly slipping his fingers back into her.

"We're going somewhere quite interesting tonight." She told him and he nodded, not wanting to keep his eyes on the road but having to. "I want you to have as much fun as you can, ok?"

"Alright." He answered nervously. "Where are we going?" He stuttered, "I mean I know where… but what?"

"You'll see." She rasped out as her fingers started to move more rapidly. Finn bit his bottom lip as she began to breathe louder, soft moans leaving her throat. He looked over at her as she started to shake in orgasm and felt his cock already starting to ache. He looked back at the road and put his fingers to his mouth to taste her. She stayed sitting with her cunt exposed and he grinned lustily.

"I wanna fuck you." He told her.

"Then fuck me." She replied and Finn noticed the sexual confidence in her voice.

"Fucking hell girl, what are you doing to me?' He mumbled, the ache in his balls deepening deliciously.

"Whatever you tell me to." She answered and he held his breath for a moment as he considered this. "For your second belated birthday present, you get to have all the power tonight." She said, mustering up as much seductiveness as she could, "I won't argue, or fight you for power. I'll be little miss meek."

"Miss meek?' He asked surprised, "You?"

"I'll be submissive for the night, with no arguments and no fighting for power. I will do whatever you say." She said and Finn laughed.

"You serious girl?"

"From now until we get back to the house." Finn looked over at her, his eyes flitted down to her exposed pussy and he looked back at the road. Rae had never been submissive to him. He'd tied her up, but the look in her eyes hadn't been submissive.

"Whatever I want?" He asked with a dark undertone.

"Anything you want, I will do it." She said again, enjoying his disbelief. "My body is all for your pleasure tonight." She added with a smirk that carried into her voice. Finn shot her a look again and Rae could tell he wasn't sure if he believed her. "Tell me to do something you know I wouldn't normally do." She offered to prove it.

"Get your tits out." He said instantly, testing her offer. Rae slowly unbuttoned her dress, opening it until her breasts were exposed. Her stomach clenched tightly, anyone who looked into the car would be able to see her. She heard Finn's sharp intake of breath.

"Fuck." He breathed softly as the power he had right now sunk in. They drove for a few minutes, Rae feeling braver with each passing minute. Until Finn had to stop at a zebra crossing; crowds of people were heading home from restaurants, no one looking at the car yet, but if they did, they'd see her exposed breasts. Rae held her breath, fear of being seen rising up through her stomach and throat, but her cunt had started to tingle again. Finn's eyes turned to Rae, her fingers fidgeting at her side, her chin thrust out proudly; she wasn't going to back down from what she had said she'd do.

"Cover 'em." Finn said in awe and watched her slowly button up her dress, her fingers shaking. "Holy fuck." He whispered slowly his mind catching up with how exciting this was. "Wow." He breathed slowly, his mind thinking about all the possibilities.

"I won't say no to you tonight." Rae said softy, "No matter how much something scares me." Finn watched her jut her jaw out in determination, "Tonight is entirely for you." Finn noted her body shaking and saw her take a big breath before he was honked by the car behind him. Finn hurriedly turned back to the road to see the zebra crossing clear of people. He started driving again and took a deep steadying breath, trying to think clearly.

"Now seems like a very good time to talk to you about safe words." He told her quietly. She turned her face to him. "I quite like the idea of you not saying no to me…" he grinned and flashed his eyes to her, "but I much prefer the idea that you're into whatever we're doing."

"I am into this." Rae said honestly.

"Good." Finn bit his bottom lip to contain his excitement. "But if I'm doing anything that I don't like… you gotta tell me." He said firmly, "So if you don't wanna say the word no, you can say another word." He thought about what Tom and Rhys had said, "Or if you wanna say the word no, but you don't wanna stop… you can say another word instead o' no for when you do wanna stop." Rae kept her eyes on his face as he spoke and slowly nodded.

"Alright." She said softly, "Do want me to say no, but not mean it?"

"I dunno." Finn said uncomfortably. "Let's just focus on the safe word for now." He furrowed his brow.

"Pineapple." She said swiftly.

"Pineapple…?" Finn chuckled.

"You think you're the only one that had a chat to a sadomasochist?" Rae asked astutely.

"You talked to Tom too?" He asked shaking his head; of course she did.

"Archie told me about safe words."

"Archie?" Finn asked surprised before he started to chuckle. "Archie." He said shaking his head, "Of course. Why didn't I think o' him?"

"And I talked to Rhys about where we're going tonight."

"Rhys?" Finn's mind started to race, "Where the fuck are we going?"

"You'll see." She said softly, "I'm not gonna tell you – you'll just have to see when we get there… but I will give you a clue if you want one…?"

"Aye." He answered immediately.

"I'm hoping we both get ideas from the place." She told him and Finn once again felt his bottom lip between his teeth, containing his excitement. "I'm thinking Finn…" Rae said slowly, "I might say no sometimes tonight." She grinned, "Since you raised the topic." Finn furrowed his brows, "But if you don't hear me say pineapple… I'm not really saying no."

"I dunno Rae." He answered with a light frown.

"Let's try it." She said with a seductive tone, "Tell me to get me tits out again." Finn took a deep breath.

"Alright." He said unimpressed. "Get your tits out." He said and was greeted by Rae giggling shyly.

"No." She giggled, "I'm shy." Finn considered this for a moment.

"Do it." He said softy and watched from the corner of his eye as she complied with shy giggles. "Alright cover 'em." He said, trying to figure out how he felt about this idea.

"Pineapple." Rae said firmly and ran her hands over her breasts slowly. Finn turned to look at her in surprise. "I like the fear of getting caught." She grinned. "You know that." Finn looked back at the road with a grin.

"Alright, but don't do it too often ok?" He said, "I much prefer hearing you say yes."

"I got pineapple." She grinned. "For tonight." She added, "This isn't an always thing."

"I know." He agreed, "For tonight, unless you tell me pineapple, I'm doing whatever I want to you."

"Agreed."

"And if you're mouth's full…" He said slyly.

"Which, no doubt it will be on many occasions…" She answered with equal slyness, "Three knocks."

"Archie knows where it's at." Finn laughed shaking his head. "Though I don't suspect I'll be doing too much tonight to make you need to use the safe word." He admitted, "I'm still only Tom junior."

"See how you go." Rae answered, "You own me tonight." She told him, "But as soon as we get home… we're back to normal." Finn nodded and looked at her bare breasts, he reached over and took one of them in his hand, squeezing it slightly.

"Don't make me tell you all night that you can go harder than that." She said suggestively.

"I'll go as hard as I want." He told her and she nodded.

"Aye." She bit her bottom lip, "And Finn…?"

"Aye?"

"Don't worry about me, ok? I'll tell you if I'm not ok." He looked over at her and saw her sincerity, "I know you love me, I know you care about me… but I don't want you to be thinking about those things tonight. I want you to be thinking about your dick, and what you can do to me that'll make you cum." He nodded slowly, "Don't ask permission for anything, you've already got it." She said firmly, "If you do get ideas from where we're going… try 'em."

"You'll tell me." He nodded.

"Pineapple." She grinned, "I trust you to stop if I say it."

"Of course." Finn felt butterflies in his stomach. "So I got permission for…?"

"Whatever you want." Finn tried to not let his imagination get too far ahead of him; they were pulling into The Bishops Avenue and Finn had to keep a look out for the house number.

"Cover your tits." Finn told her as they pulled into the driveway, Rae obeyed instantly, buttoning up her dress to a moderately modest level, fear and nerves starting to kick in; they were here.

Rae jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped and hurried around to open the door for Finn, he laughed and shook his head. He looked around at all the parked cars and then up at the mansion. It was eerily silent and they both felt nerves creeping into their stomachs. There was woman in a corset and thigh high boots standing at the door. She wore no knickers and Rae's eyes fell down to her completely waxed vulva. Her head cocked to the side and she wondered if Finn would prefer that. As they walked towards the door a man came out and stood next to the woman. He wore nothing but a pair of white underpants.

"Ok Rae…" Finn said slowly, "What is this?"

"You'll see." She had to fight to keep the fear out of her voice.

"Who sent you?" The woman asked when they got to her.

"Rhys O'Daire." Rae said firmly and the woman grinned slightly in recognition of the name before nodding. She opened the door for them and guided them through the abandoned mansion to the foyer outside of the huge ballroom. Here a woman stood in an almost regal corseted dress next to a table with numerous open boxes on it. Their guide told the woman that they were referred by Rhys O'Daire and left. They could hear loud rhythmic bass seeping through the closed doors to the ballroom.

"Names." Said the regal woman softly and Rae recognised the French accent immediately.

"Um…" Rae had not expected this; she was underage, and this was illegal.

"Your names will never be written down." She said reassuringly, "my subs simply remember them all." She motioned to five kneeling men, "And they do not speak without permission."

"Wow." Rae said as she looked over at them and then at Finn who was taking this in slowly. "What's your name?" She asked suddenly.

"I'm a twenty-something mademoiselle." She answered, "You can call me mistress and that is all you need to know."

"Oh." Rae answered taken aback, "I'm Rae E-"

"O'Daire." The woman said over the top of her. "You are Rae O'Daire."

"What?" Rae asked confused.

"You are obviously new here. That means that you are under Rhys's care. He is responsible for you and your actions, should you do something that is unacceptable." She eyed Rae curiously, "Once we know we can trust each other, then I'll learn your last name, and you can then refer people yourself. You understand?" Rae nodded and she turned to Finn, "Your name?"

"Finn." He answered almost silently. The woman turned to one of her subs, "Rae O'Daire and Finn O'Daire are preliminary members."

"Thank you mistress." He answered and she turned back to the desk and started to go through a box.

"So your relationship is on equal footing?" She took out a stamp.

"Uh…" Rae looked confused.

"Tonight, you are here as equals?" She rephrased.

"Oh no!" Rae laughed and shook her head and the woman put the stamp away and sorted out another one before turning to Finn.

"So you must be the sub then?" She asked.

"No that's me." Rae answered.

"Then why are you talking without permission?" She asked Rae and turned her eyes to Finn for the answer. "You've never done this before?" She asked him.

"Never." He acknowledged. She nodded slowly.

"Keep your sub in line." She advised him and turned to Rae, "Don't do anything unless he tells you to." She stamped Rae's hand, "It's quite simple really." She turned back to her stamps and stamped Finn's hand with a different stamp to indicate that he was the dominant. "Now Sir," She asked Finn with an indulgent tone, "Is it to be shared?"

"It? What?" He asked confused.

"Your sub. Is it to be shared?"

"Ah no. It's… She's not." He answered firmly and Rae's other hand was stamped.

"And are you sharing yourself sir?" She asked pleasantly.

"No." Finn answered instantly and the same stamp was placed on his other hand.

"You are assured anonymity because no one speaks of what happens here to anyone else." She told them and they both nodded understanding her command; what happens beyond the doors to the ballroom stays beyond those doors. She clicked and one of her subs immediately stood up. "Show them around. Speak pleasantly. And help the sub understand her role." She told him and he nodded.

"Thank you mistress." He answered her before opening the door for them. Rae started to walk and he held a hand up to her.

"You are always behind your master unless he tells you otherwise." The sub said and Finn turned his eyes to her.

"You can walk beside me." He told her and took her hand. The sub looked back at his mistress and the mistress shook her head.

"This way." He said and they walked into the ballroom. The first thing Rae noticed was that the music was overtly sexual. The first thing Finn noticed was that this looked almost like a normal night club, except for the huge round stage in the centre of the room. Currently there were several men and women dancing on it, completely naked.

"Oh wow." Rae said when she saw the stage and then pulled a face, "Sorry." She remembered she wasn't supposed to talk.

"Alright, you can talk while we're getting shown around." Finn grinned, starting to warm up to the idea of being in charge.

"Thank you sir." She said with a smirk and he chuckled. This was definitely going to be a fun game.

"Tonight the main show is Dominick." The sub said as he motioned towards the stage, "There's two teaser shows; one by Pandora and the other by Tom and Gina, beforehand." He said wistfully, "Next week Pandora will be the main show." Rae and Finn shared a look; the sub was clearly infatuated with Pandora.

"A sex show." Finn finally understood and Rae nodded. He laughed. "Alright!" He felt his nerves settle as he looked around again. Some people were fucking on the dance floor, others were sitting at tables and chairs against the walls, drinking and talking. He saw one man using a woman as a footstool and his eyes widened in surprise. Rae too was looking around with equal parts surprise and interest. The sub started to guide them across the floor.

"The bar is over there." He nodded to the left and Rae and Finn saw a well-stocked bar, two women in a 69 position on top of it.

"Holy shit." Rae said and Finn looked back at her.

"Getting ideas?" He laughed and she nodded her head, thinking about sucking Finn's cock while he simultaneously went down on her.

"Unisex bathrooms." He pointed off to the other side and they saw a door. Rae wondered what they had sorted out for a bathroom in this mansion. He crossed the floor with them, "Backstage door, don't go near it." He pointed to a door near the bar, "Prostitutes." He pointed to the people on the stage and a crowd over near the bar of scantily dressed people, mostly women. "And privacy." He opened a door on the other side that led to a large well-lit room with various pieces of furniture and a few room dividers you could move to hide behind if you wanted. "Once the show starts, this room will be in darkness and you won't be able to see who's fucking who in here." The sub said as he looked around. There were several couples and a few groups already fucking in the room. Rae's jaw dropped and Finn scanned the room slowly. The whole opposite wall was glass and he could see that the garden was out that way. The sub turned back to them and smiled.

"Of course you can wander wherever you want around the place, there's some rooms upstairs with mattresses if you'd prefer, but there's no electricity beyond the ballroom." Rae tried to not watch the people fucking too much, or be distracted by the sounds they were making. She could feel her nerves lessening as desire started to spark ferociously in her groin. She wanted Finn to fuck her right now, in this room, with the sounds of other people fucking all around them.

"Do you have any questions?" He asked them politely.

"What can we expect from the shows?" Finn asked.

"Well Gina and Tom are a straight up sex show." The sub answered, "Pandora is a dominatrix who enjoys bondage and discipline." They heard some commotion from the ballroom but the sub ignored it and continued speaking, "And Dominick really does whatever he feels like to women. He often takes volunteers from the audience to be fucked by him." Finn turned his eyes to Rae and the sub shook his head, "He won't take her, she's got the 'not to be shared' stamp." He said reassuringly, "we introduced that system last year, too many fights and problems over people grabbing people who didn't want to be grabbed. This solves it because most of the people having problems with being touched are the newbies like yourselves, who tend to want to stick to yourselves the first few times, so you don't need to understand the stamp system, just the long-timers do. And once you've been here a few times and may want to start sharing, you'll understand the stamps too." He explained slowly, "The not to be shared stamp is fiercely respected in our community. She is your property, she will not be touched."

"So if she's not to be shared, why does she need the sub stamp?" Finn asked confused.

"It changes the way people will treat her. For example the bartender will call her a whore, and call you sir."

"Oh right." Finn grinned and turned to her and she shrugged when she saw him looking at her.

"Sounds good to me." She reassured him.

"I have my status tattooed on me." The sub said and pointed to a marking underneath his navel. Rae's eyes opened wide and she looked up at Finn and shook her head.

"No fucking way." She told him and he laughed.

"I'm right there with you on that one, girl." He agreed, "Next time we come here, I'll be the sub." He told her and put an arm around her shoulders. The sub looked at them with distaste for a moment.

"Any other questions?" He asked pleasantly.

"When does the show start?" Rae asked.

"Soon." He answered, "You really do need to learn to shut your mouth unless you're pleasuring your master though." He told her. She nodded.

"You're right.' She said and looked up at Finn, "Time to start playing the game properly, alright?"

"Alright." He agreed.

"Well I'll leave you to it." The sub turned and walked back into the ballroom, Rae and Finn following. When they got back in they noticed seating had been set up in various places around the room, some right up near the stage, and Finn made a beeline for the seats, Rae following him. They watched a huge wooden pole being erected on the stage, and several looped hooks being screwed into the floor of the stage near the edges.

"D'you want a drink?" Finn asked ready to get up and Rae gave him a look. "Oh right." He grinned. "Get me a drink." He told her, "And you may have one." He added, "Something with vodka in it." He ordered.

"Yes sir." She answered cheekily and he grinned.

"Should I call you a whore like the bartender's gonna?" He asked her.

"Finn!" Rae admonished.

"Alright, I'm sorry!" He laughed. "It's a lot to take in." He looked around and took a deep breath, remembering the conversation they'd had in the car. "Get us both a drink, whore." He ordered and bit his bottom lip.

"Yes sir." Rae answered pointedly and got up.

"And undo a couple o' those buttons." He nodded at her chest and Rae looked down at the dress.

"Yes sir." She answered and undid two buttons.

"Another two whore and don't speak unless I ask you a question… except for your safe word." Finn leaned back in his chair and watched her do as she was told silently. He took a moment to feel his power as he saw more of her cleavage and part of her stomach be revealed by the opening buttons. Rae looked down at the deep V shape her dress made when the buttons were undone and felt quite self-conscious about how exposed she was. Her nipples weren't showing but a great deal of her breasts were. But then she remembered the dress Izzy had made her and found that she suddenly didn't care. She almost giggled at the idea of not caring if her breasts was seen. She'd hate to be naked… but a lot of cleavage was no problem; she might not even mind it if he ordered her to get her tits out again in this crowded room. She marvelled at how much she'd changed as she stood proudly, not afraid of her own breasts.

"Get the fucking drinks." He told her and she nodded and walked towards the bar. Most people were wearing black and red, so in her bright violet dress, Rae stood out stunningly, and she drew multiple stares as she crossed the floor alone. And she loved every minute of it. She could feel Finn's eyes on her from across the room as she got to the bar and put her hands on the bar to get someone's attention. The bartender looked at her hands and then up at her face momentarily before staring brazenly at her cleavage.

"What d'you want cunt?" He asked her with real disdain and Rae felt her face burn with so many different emotions.

"Um…" She said softly, "Two vodka and cokes." Was all she could think of saying she was so taken aback.

"Alright bitch." He turned and starting making the drinks and Rae took a deep breath. A man sidled up to her.

"Nice tits sub." He said to her and she showed him the stamp on her other hand that he hadn't seen yet, watching his face fall. "Who's your master?" He asked and she pointed back to Finn. He gave Finn a nod and took another long look at her breasts. "Tell him thanks for the splendid view." He turned and sidled up to another woman. Rae's jaw dropped, but before she had time to fully register everything that had been happening the bartender was there.

"Here slut." He said and Rae took the drinks, "What's your master's name?"

"Finn O'Daire." Rae answered and the bartender nodded.

"Tell him that O'Daire's drink for free." Rae tried to hide her surprise.

"I will."

"Speak with fucking respect." He told her sternly and Rae froze, not sure what to do.

"I will, sir?" She replied and he nodded.

"That's better." She took the drinks back to Finn with wide eyes and sat down beside him, still noticing how many people watched her. Finn was grinning.

"Holy shit." He said as he watched a man sit down not far from them, he clicked and the woman accompanying him knelt at his feet. He stroked her hair like she was a pet and Finn watched, transfixed. Rae wanted to speak but knew she wasn't supposed to without permission.

"The guy back there thanks you for the splendid view sir." Rae blurted out and Finn shook his head.

"I can't believe this place." He marvelled, "I don't even know what to think about any o' this."

"I'm not supposed to talk!" Rae reminded him and Finn bit his bottom lip.

"That's right." He pulled a face.

"And apparently we drink for free sir." Rae added and handed him his drink.

"Wonder why?" He asked and took the drink.

"So are you gonna punish me for talking when I weren't supposed to, sir?" She asked and he grinned.

"Aye." He answered, "I might." He looked down at her mouth and bit his bottom lip again, "Now keep your mouth shut unless I ask you a direct question, or if my cock's in it." He said and she nodded in reply, watching him turn his eyes back to the man stroking the kneeling woman's hair. The woman neatly folded her arms behind her back, thrusting out her chest and looked like she was practically purring from the way he stroked her.

"Learning anything?' He asked her with a cheeky grin and she cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Might be, sir." She answered enigmatically, her eyes travelling to a woman walking towards them, three men on chained leads following behind, their heads bowed, their hands behind their backs. Rae scanned the room and saw a few couples, sitting together chatting as equals, and over on the far wall some rings were being screwed into the wall at set intervals. A woman was already tying a man up using one of the rings in the wall, Rae's head dropping to the side as she considered doing something like that to Finn. She mulled over where she could affix a hook like that in Finn's room. It'd have to be Finn's room; her mum still wandered into her room on a regular basis and she could just imagine her mother finding it and the questions that would follow. The woman with the men on leads sat down near Finn and all three men were instantly on their knees without hesitation, one of them lying on his stomach before her, she put her feet on his back, her stilettos digging into his flesh. Rae watched the man's face as he winced in pain, obviously enjoying it. The other two men watched jealously. She took a cigarette out of her bag and turned to Finn.

"Have you a light?" She asked him and he nodded slowly, taking his cigarettes and lighter out of his pocket, lighting her cigarette before lighting one for himself. She blew out the smoke seductively and Rae was taken by how beautiful and graceful she was. "Are you available for fun?" She asked him and Finn held up his stamped hands silently. "I saw the stamps." She said in a measured tone, "I meant outside of this place." Her eyes drank him in provocatively and Finn felt like he had never been looked at quite like that before. She was a predator and she wanted to consume him.

"No." He answered softly and then remembering that he was playing a role in this place he cocked his jaw arrogantly, "I don't play like you." He answered commandingly. Rae felt her cunt clench excitedly; she liked him using that voice. The woman chuckled.

"For a man who looks like you, I could be persuaded to share power." Finn looked her up and down as if considering the offer. He scrunched his nose in mild distaste.

"No I don't think so.' He said firmly. She raised her eyebrows, clearly not used to rejection, and very obviously turned on by his disdain for her. Finn turned his eyes away from her and looked back at Rae, worried about her reaction to the woman, but he was surprised to see that she was looking at him lustily. Rae's eyes turned to the woman and Finn followed her gaze, she had clicked her fingers and one of the men opened his mouth, she flicked her ash into his mouth and looked up at the stage, frustrated and sulky. Rae watched Finn look down at his own cigarette with furrowed brows.

"Pineapple." She said instantly and he grinned.

"I were actually thinking that were fucking disgusting." He whispered to her. "I wouldn't do that to you." He shook his head. "Although, I am seeing some things I might do." His eyes wondered over to the walls and Rae grinned; a hook was going up on the wall somewhere in Finn's room when they got back to Stamford. She watched his eyes fall to the hook on the floor of the stage and realised there was going to be more than just the wall hook in Finn's room by the time he was finished.

A mattress was dragged out onto the stage, weaving through the audience, a few dancers stopping to help get it up there. Finn wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Rae grinned at how much he wasn't playing the role of dominant in comparison to other people in the room, but they were both still beginning in this world and she didn't mind if the exploration was slow and steady.

The music changed and a blurry, soft spotlight hit the stage. The backstage door opened and a stunning woman with long raven hair wearing a red silky nightgown walked out of the backstage door and the crowd parted for her as she almost glided through them. She went up the stairs on the other side of the stage, Rae's eyes unable to leave her. She was tall and slender, her skin ivory, her hair silky black. She got to the stage, and Rae expected her to start a strip tease and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She was so stunningly beautiful, she felt a jealous twang in her stomach at the idea of Finn watching her strip. But she simply undid the robe and let it fall to the floor. Rae again noticed a hairless snatch and decided to ask Finn if he'd prefer that. Rae noticed the way she moved as she slowly lowered herself to the mattress, he knees together the whole time. There was slow, controlled quality to her as she positioned herself on her back, slowly unfurling her legs until they were straight in the air, her ankles remained touching the entire time. The seats had been placed at what was the 'front' of the stage, but Rae and Finn were sitting to one side, so they could see her face as well as her cunt peeking out from between her legs as they pressed together. She looked orgasmic already and Rae realised that she needed to work on cultivating that look. And then suddenly she parted her legs, it was the fastest move she done and it surprised Rae, but she watched, strangely enraptured as Gina slid her hands over her pussy. All around them the seats were slowly filling up as the first teaser act, Gina, worked herself slowly to orgasm. Rae could only think of just how different it was watching it in life rather than on a video. She looked over at Finn to see his eyes on her face. She grinned at him as she realised that Finn had already seen a show like this; she'd masturbated for him before. She watched Finn's eyes drop to first her lips and then her breasts and smirked at how his eyes devoured her. Rae felt quite aroused as she heard the sounds of Gina moaning over the throbbing bass, Finn's eyes roving over her body, her eyes stayed on his face. She reached out and rubbed the bulge in Finn's pants.

"Don't touch me without permission." He said firmly as he swatted her hand away. She opened her mouth in surprise.

"Are my pants around my ankles whore?" He asked her pointedly and she shook her head in pleasant surprise; Finn as starting to play the game properly, "Then why is your fucking mouth open?"

"I'm sorry sir." Rae replied with a wicked grin, her cunt starting to ache excitedly.

"Fold your hands in your lap, like a lady. Keep your back straight." He told her and Rae primly put her hand in her lap, and straightened her spine, "Cross your ankles, and keep your thighs pressed together." He told her. The minute Rae pressed her thighs together she felt delicious pressure on her cunt and her whole body started to tingle with anticipation. Finn put a hand on her face and turned her head towards the stage. "Keep your eyes on the action." Rae took a deep breath, trying to calm her nervous anticipation. "Keep taking deep, slow breaths." Finn told her, his eyes on her breasts as they rose and fell with her deep breathing. They'd missed the man, Tom presumably, leaving the backstage door and walk through the audience, he was stepping up on the stage when Rae turned back, Gina's body still shaking with orgasm. He knelt on the mattress and she sat up to kiss him. He stood up and she started to suck his cock, it was a gentle blow job; there was no power struggle, no pain, no kink really, other than it was a live sex show. Given the clientele present tonight, Rae had a feeling that the next two performances would be very different. She tried to see Finn from the corner of her eye, but he was leaning back lazily in his seat. Tom and Gina started to fuck on the stage, it was passionate and he clearly knew how to make her cum, his fingers rubbing her clitoris while he pumped into her. Finn watched as after a few minutes of fucking, Tom, a tall man with hair so blond it was almost white, withdrew and went down on Gina. Finn cocked his head to the side and watched his technique. He smirked, thinking that this was quite tame after what he'd been expecting given the people that were here. He'd seen some of the audience fucking rougher than the performers.

Twenty minutes later Tom was coming in Gina's mouth after a nice gentle show filled with a lot of oral sex and a lot of vaginal sex. Gina swallowed and Finn was delighted by the satisfied sound Rae gave at that. There was cheering and clapping from the audience, Finn clapped lazily, but Rae didn't move her hands from her lap; remembering to not move without permission. Her thighs were getting tired from her pressing them together, but it only made her more aroused. The mattress was removed and the music changed while a table and a large ornate chair were brought out from the backstage area.

"Another drink whore." Finn ordered and Rae nodded and immediately went to the bar. Finn watched her go, and allowed the satisfaction at being obeyed win over his concern that it was wrong to treat the woman he loved like this. He made his mind think to all the things he'd been learning these past few months. Rhys's calm voice came through the strongest;

_Don't let ideas of what's natural fuck you up Finn. Worry about consent, and what you both want to do, and feels good to both of you. Not some half-arsed notion of what sex is supposed to be._

He was watching Rae at the bar when a near-naked woman sat in his lap.

"You wanna be my daddy tonight?" She asked him wrapping her arms around his neck.

"No." He answered firmly and she sulked.

"But I'm a sub without a dom." She said pouting.

"Get off me." He ordered and she instantly fell to her knees before him.

"Yes daddy!" She grinned up at him happily.

"I am not your… daddy." He said with a disgusted look, "Go find someone else to be your dom." He held up his stamped hands and her eyes fell to his left hand, her face dropping.

"Oh." She said. "But you're the best looking guy in here."

"I don't care. Go away." He told her and she did, slowly scanning the room for someone else. Finn took a deep breath and shook his head, "daddy?" He asked himself, "bloody hell." Rae sat beside him without saying a word and offered him the drink. He turned to her and saw look in her eyes; she'd seen some of that exchange. He started to say sorry but stopped himself. Instead he took the drink and sipped it, not offering an explanation. He'd done nothing wrong, and in the role he was playing tonight, he didn't answer to Rae. He stored it in his brain as something to talk about later. He took another sip and then gave the drink to Rae.

"Drink that." He told her, noticing that she had immediately returned to the sitting position he'd put her in before. Rae drank it in one long gulp, feeling the alcohol buzzing inside of her. A person came past them and took their empty glasses and offered them condoms and pamphlets for Gina and Tom; available for hire. Rae saw as he held out the pamphlets that the performances were spoken of in general terms, no mention of it being a sex show was made, probably in case police saw the pamphlet. Finn waved him on dismissively and turned to look at Rae. The violet dress she wore had buttons down the entire front of the dress, and a black belt at the waist. His eyes took in the buttons; there were ten buttons from the top of the dress to the waist. She had started with two undone, and he'd already made her undo a further four.

"Undo another four buttons." He said in a soft commanding voice. He surprised himself with how confident and dominant he sounded in that calm almost gentle voice. He sounded like someone not to be disobeyed, even to his own ears. Rae nodded slowly and put her slightly shaking fingers to her buttons. This made her nervous, but she was willing to do it. He watched her slowly unbutton the top half of her dress down to the belt and reached under her top to run his hand along her stomach, Rae tried to focus on keeping her mouth shut; it wanted to open, in desire and terror, her breasts were so close to popping out of her top as he moved his hand along her skin. He took his hand out and turned to her, his other hand slipping under the violet material to her breasts, squeezing first one and then the other; hard. She hissed in unexpected pain and turned her eyes to him, a grin creeping onto her face as she nodded slowly; he really was starting to play this game.

The backstage door slammed open. Four incredibly attractive, muscled men with heavy looking iron collars, wearing absolutely nothing, carried the corner of an ornate sedan chair each. In the chair reclined a large woman with deep red hair in a severe ponytail that fell down her back to just above her arse. She wore makeup similar to Rae's, but that's where the similarities in attire stopped. She wore a black leather corset, pulled brutally tight; her ample breasts spilling over the top. She wore a tiny mini skirt that barely covered her arse and thigh high leather boots. She tapped a riding crop on the side of the sedan, clearly unimpressed with everything. Rae noticed a small microphone extending from her ear to her mouth; they were going to hear her. Behind the sedan a woman with blond hair wearing a well-tailored suit followed, smoking a cigar, looking at everyone in the audience like she would do things to them they couldn't even imagine. The men placed the sedan on the stage carefully and the large redheaded woman got out, motioning to the blond woman to come onto the stage as she sat on the chair.

"My name is Pandora." Redhead said in a tone of utter disdain. Rae suddenly felt complete admiration for her. She was spectacular. "This is Eve, my protégé." Eve stood on the stage cockily, her hands in her pockets, her head high. "Strip." She ordered and Eve slowly took her suite off to reveal black leather lingerie and stockings, her stiletto heels looked sharp enough to cut a man. A fifth and sixth man came from the backstage door, carrying a large wooden chest between them and placed it on the stage next to the chair. Pandora sat in the chair and clicked towards one of the men. He jumped up onto the stage and knelt before her on all fours so that she could put her feet up on him. Pandora leaned back in the chair.

"I am going to remind you all that this is a consensual show, and my slaves have safe words that are always respected." The tone she used was so commanding that Finn felt himself wanting to emulate her. She nodded to Eve who immediately turned to one of the slaves and pulled him by the ring in the collar around his neck up onto the stage. He was tied to the pole, chains produced from the chest on the stage to do the deed. Eve tied the next man face up on the table. The next one was attached to one of the hooks on the floor of the stage, his forehead resting on the ground. The fifth one was hooked to another floor hook on his back. The last male was made to kneel on all fours so that Eve could sit on his back when she wished. The slow methodical way in which each man was tied down was incredibly seductive and both Rae and Finn watched with growing arousal. He noticed the woman that was getting her hair stroked before was gently licking her master's cock, and beside him one of the slave men was being allowed the stroked his mistress's thighs while she smoked another cigarette, still using one of her subs mouths as an ashtray. All around them people were starting to respond to the performance, but others were holding off until the main performance. Finn bit his lip indecisively. He knew no one was looking at him, but the idea of getting Rae to suck him right here was terrifying… and oh so appealing. Pandora checked the knots that Eve had done and corrected one of them, slapping Eve hard across the face, Rae held her breath in surprise but watched Eve give Pandora a lusty grin as she begged forgiveness for the mistake. Rae saw Finn lean forward in his chair from the corner of her eyes. She could see his mouth was open in surprise. Pandora grabbed Eve's hair, yanking her head back and spat in her face. Eve seemed to love it and Rae felt her mouth opening in surprise. The woman kissed passionately, Eve not daring to touch Pandora and Pandora controlling Eve's movements by pulling her hair. Pandora went to the man on the table while Eve went to the chest to bring over a thick leather cock ring. Pandora took the thick cock ring and looked down at the man.

"Get him hard." She told Eve and Eve immediately started to suck his cock. Pandora grabbed her hair and pushed her head harder onto the cock as it grew. Finn groaned in appreciation and how violent Pandora was with Eve; she showed no mercy at all, impaling Eve's face on the cock. Pandora pulled Eve off the cock, sloppy tendrils of saliva dripped from her chin as she was pushed back from the table, grinning, pleased with herself. Pandora looked down on the man again with a sadistic grin and Finn's eyebrows furrowed as Pandora pulled down hard on the man's scrotum and he cried out in pain.

"Holy shit." Finn said aghast. Pandora put the cock ring on her slave, his balls pulled away from his body brutally by the thick band. Rae's eyes were wide with shock; she'd never even imagined doing something painful to a man's balls could be considered sexual. Pandora motioned to Eve and she grinned and jumped up on the table, she stood on the man, her stilettos digging in mercilessly and he cried out in pain again as Eve started to dance to the music, slowly stripping her underwear off. Rae's mouth open in surprise and Finn saw it from the corner of his eye. He was surprised that his first thought was to give her face a little slap, just a gentle one, as a reminder to follow his orders. He shook his head to clear that thought away and turned his face to her.

"Close your fucking mouth bitch." He ordered forcefully and she snapped her jaw shut and nodded. Finn grinned, the dark sadistic parts of himself were pushing upwards inside of him, he wanted to explore this world, any lingering doubts left him when Pandora turned to the standing man chained to the pole and brought her riding crop crashing down across his buttocks. He closed his eyes and grunted in pain. Finn didn't know where his pain threshold lay, nor Rae's, but he knew he wanted to find it. And push it.

"Suck my dick." He said as he watched Pandora whipping her sub. Rae immediately slipped off her chair to her knees and unzipped Finn's jeans. She had not expected him to do something like this so publically, but in reality, this was as private as fucking in their car. People might see them, but no one would be paying close attention to them; there was so much happening in the room. His hard cock sprung out of his jeans and she immediately took it into her mouth. On the stage Eve had finished dancing on her slave and was now pouring wax on his chest. Finn felt her mouth close over his cock and felt ready to cum almost immediately. It was how public it was, how dirty this was, how much control he had over Rae, and these powerful women, hurting their submissive men. He watched Eve pour the wax onto his chest, so close to him that the flame touched him momentarily, making him cry out in pain. She slapped his face hard and poured more wax on him. He felt Rae taking his full length in to her throat and closed his eyes momentarily.

"Please!" The heard the man Pandora was whipping cry out, "Please stop!" But she continued; he hadn't said the safe word. Finn felt his senses being overloaded as the man started to cry and Pandora stopped and turned to look at Eve, who had jumped back up on the table and was sitting on the man's face. Finn felt himself getting close and he pulled Rae's face back hard, using her ponytail. He looked down and grabbed his cock, jerking it a few times until he came, the first strand landing in her mouth, the next one streaking across the right side of her face, he aimed better and got the rest in her mouth. He looked down at her and grinned.

"Close your mouth, but don't swallow.' He said and Rae complied, her eyes large with surprise. "Keep my cum in your mouth, till I tell you to swallow it." She nodded, "That'll keep your mouth shut." She smiled dirtily, keeping her mouth shut tightly and nodded again. "And the rest of my cum," he looked at the cum dripping down her face, "You can wear that." He patted the seat beside him and Rae got back onto the seat, immediately folding her hand on her lap and crossing her ankles, her cunt was aching for his cock and she could feel how wet she was as she squeezed her thighs together. She swished his cum around her mouth and felt her cunt throb almost painfully with desire as she let it rest in her mouth, not swallowing, the flavour and smell filling her senses. She could feel the cum on her forehead dripping towards her eye, but she would not stop it, she would not wipe it away. She found a strange sense of calm wash over her as she awaited his next command. She remembered that she was meant to be watching the show and raised her eyes to the stage. Pandora was stroking the crying man's hair almost kindly, lovingly. She untied him and gently pulled him by the collar ring to her seat where she sat down and spread her legs.

"Eat me." She ordered and he looked up at her with delighted surprise and dove straight in. Pandora wound her fingers through his hair and watched Eve coming as she rode the man on the table's face. After she had cum Eve got down from the table and walked towards the man with his forehead on the stage. From their angle Rae and Finn saw his buttocks, his testicles hanging down between his thighs, his hands clasped behind his back. Eve kicked him in the balls and Finn gasped. Rae had to fight to keep her mouth closed and to not look at Finn as she felt him flinch in the chair beside him as the man on stage cried out in pain. Next she stepped over the slave lying on his back on the stage, tied to one of the round hooks on the floor and started to piss on his face. Rae's eyes opened wide in surprise and she again had to fight to not open her mouth or look away in disgust as the slave opened his mouth. Finn made a noise of disgust beside her and she tried to not start laughing, but the sounds of Pandora coming drove all thoughts of laughter from her mind; that was a woman who knew how to scream.

"That was a teaser for next week's show." Pandora said softly, the sex and control dripped from her voice. She clicked at Eve and Eve dove off the stage into the dancing crowd "A gift for my fans." Rae watched as several men instantly started to pull her into position to fuck, condoms quickly in place before the gangbang commenced. The audience cheering Pandora wildly.

"Fucking hell." Finn breathed in disbelief as Eve's moans of pleasure rose over the music. On the stage Pandora was slowly releasing her slaves, giving them caring touches to let them know that their mistress loved her pets. They cleaned up, washing the floor on their hands and knees while Pandora allowed the man that had been whipped to tears to lick her arsehole. Rae was amazed at how grateful he seemed for the chance to perform anilingus on her. The taste of Finn's cum in her mouth made everything, even the gross and shocking things, seem so much more erotic and desirable, and her cunt was still aching for attention. Before they knew it Pandora was in her sedan chair, being carried out and Eve with at least a dozen men had gone to the private room. Again the music changed and the pole was removed from the centre of the stage as another person came around with condoms, pamphlets for Pandora and verbal reminders that next week Pandora would be doing a 90 minute show.

"Another drink for both of us, whore." Finn said and Rae turned her eyes to him. "I know you got me cum in your mouth." He told her questioning face, "That's not my problem to figure out." Rae narrowed her eyes slightly, "Swallow it before I tell you to and I'll slap your face." He said and Rae saw the trepidation he felt saying that and knew he probably wouldn't go through with it. Nonetheless, she nodded as if she believed him and got up to go to the bar. When she got there she held up two fingers to the barman he looked down at her cleavage and then at the cum on the side of her face.

"What's that bitch?" He asked with a smirk. Rae pointed at her mouth and he gave her a confused look so she had no choice but to open her mouth for him to see the cum in there. He nodded as if he understood or cared about her predicament. "I'm still gonna need you to speak." Finn watched from across the room and could tell what was happening; it gave him so many ideas of things to do to her. He just wondered if he'd ever be brave enough to do them all. His cock started to throb again; he'd seen things he was never going to do here, but he'd also had his eyes opened to some things that he was definitely going to explore.

"Two vodka and cokes." Rae managed to say, looking up at the ceiling.

"Manners." The barman said.

"Please, sir." Rae put a hand to the corner of her mouth to keep the cum in her mouth and Finn startled to chuckle, surprised at himself and how much he was enjoying this. He only wished he could hear what the barman was saying to her.

"No, I'm gonna need the whole sentence." The barman said.

"Please." Rae said, trying to not get angry, "May I have 2 vodkas and coke." She tried to grit her teeth to keep the cum in, "Sir."

"Sure thing cunt." He said indulgently and Rae shook her head at him the minute his back was turned. She took the drinks without looking at him when he gave them to her, laughing loudly, her face burning with shame. But she felt so sexy and so horny; she didn't understand it at all. She crossed the dance floor, noticing how many people saw the cum on her face and slowly raising her head proudly so that more people could see it. Finn watched her closely, his desire for her building again. Rae sat down beside him and handed him his drink.

"Spit my cum out into your drink." Finn said calmly and Rae felt disappointed that she didn't get to swallow it. She hesitated and Finn wrapped his hand around her ponytail, now messy after his blowjob, "Do I have to make you do it?" He asked almost kindly and Rae instantly spat the cum out into her drink. "Give it a good stir." He told her and she took her straw and stirred it around the glass. "Enjoy your drink whore." He took a slow sip of his drink and Rae felt her cunt constrict painfully, desperate for his cock. Rae looked down at the drink and moaned slightly. This was one of the hottest things she'd ever done. She put her lips to the straw and sucked the liquid up through the straw; vodka, coke, and Finn's cum. Finn watched her with desire on his face.

"Finish it." He said, his mouth moving slowly, "Bitch." Rae watched the way his lips moved over that word and sucked the drunk through the straw as hard as she could until the glass was empty and she was sucking at dregs. "Good girl." Those words from his mouth did something to Rae and she felt her desire and arousal creep into the stratosphere. She felt that if he were to just touch her cunt she'd come immediately. She started to squirm with desire as she watched him slowly drink, his eyes on her cleavage.

"Horny?" He asked her with a lopsided grin.

"Yes sir." She said and bit her bottom lip.

"You are such a dirty, dirty bitch." He said to her and she nodded lustily. "You won't cum until we get back inside the house." He watched her face become horror struck, "Understood?"

"Yes sir." She said reluctantly, a sulky tone.

"You better get rid o' that tone or you won't cum at all." She narrowed her eyes at him and he grinned cockily in return. She remembered that she wasn't going to fight him tonight, no power struggles; she'd promised.

"I'm sorry sir." She answered meekly and watched the surprised grin break out onto his face. He'd have to push this as far as she'd let him.

_'Hard-on for Love' by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds_

The music quite suddenly changed to a grinding, violent rhythm. Finn passed her his drink.

"Finish that." He told her; he had no intention of drinking too much. Rae took the drink obediently and he nodded towards the backdoor which had opened. Finn looked back at the stage; the chair and table were still up there. A naked woman walked through the audience, and they parted for her she walked up to the stage and sat on the edge of it. Three men in sharp suits walked out and headed up to the stage. They stood on the stage, and like the woman they looked at the backstage door still. A man in black jeans and a tight fitted black shirt walked from the backstage area. Rae's jaw dropped and Finn's eyebrows raised; he looked remarkably like Finn but with slightly darker hair and blue eyes. Rae closed her mouth quickly but continued to watch him as he walked, barefoot amongst the crowd, looking at everyone. Rae remembered that he liked to pick a woman from the audience, although she suspected it would be a plant; a woman who was a performer like him that would pretend to be an audience member. He walked around the stage and his eye fell upon Finn.

"Astonishing." His voice was cultured, refined, and oddly menacing. He was miked like Pandora had been, so they knew that this was Dominick. "I have a twin named Raphael…" He said to Finn, "My mother would be astonished to know she actually gave birth to triplets." He ran a finger down Finn's face and shook his head. His eyes turned to Rae and took her in slowly before returning to Finn. "We three should get to know each other." His voice made it very clear what he meant, "Sometime in the future when you're not so new to this." Finn opened his mouth to reply but Dominick had turned and continued on, Finn started to laugh and shook his head, turning his eyes to Rae, expecting to see the same look of disbelief on her face as there was on his. But she was looking thoughtfully at Dominick; the resemblance was remarkable, but not total. Finn was garnering quite a few stares now, and many women were looking at him openly sexually. Oddly, Rae didn't mind. In this setting, it was to be expected that people were that open about it. Dominick finished looking at everyone in the audience and jumped up on the stage, ignoring the stairs. He sat in the chair and leaned back, putting one leg over the wooden armrest. He pointed at a woman from the audience and knocked twice. One of the men jumped from the stage and headed through the audience to her. Rae pursed her lips; definitely a plant, how could they know it was her when she was so deep in the audience, but the man went right to her. Rae saw her face; she was clearly ecstatic. The man grabbed her by the hair and pulled her forward roughly, forcing her down on her knees. Rae cocked an eyebrow and smirked; this was the kind of thing she liked from rough sex. He pulled her by the hair, making her crawl up to the stage, up the stairs until she got to Dominick who put a hand over the microphone and said a few words to her privately, she replied in a way that was too familiar. She was a plant; Rae knew it. But the idea that she was a complete stranger was sexy, and she understood the appeal of the fantasy. Rae bit her bottom lip as Dominick pointed at the floor and the woman put her forehead to it instantly. He put a foot up on her back and lit a cigarette.

"All the people on this stage are consenting adults." Dominick reminded them, "safe words are in place and will be respected." Rae realised that Tom and Gina had made no such announcement, possibly because what they were doing was not rough. Dominick knocked the armrest twice and the three men grabbed the naked woman, pulling her roughly onto the stage. Rae could see as she flailed about that she had a butt-plug in and knew what was going to happen to her, but she found that she didn't mind; she was too turned on to mind. They pushed her to her knees and one man grabbed her by the hair and started to rub her face into his groin. He was still fully clothed in his expensive suit and her lipstick smeared all over his pants and her face. Rae felt her excitement rising and was surprised at how sensitive her cunt felt now. The pressure of the seat beneath her, her thighs pressed together. She was going to cum the minute he put his cock in her, but she had to not cum until she got back into the house. Rae dropped her eyes to the bulge in Finn's pants and made a lusty, desirous sound that she'd never made before; a whimper of craving. Finn turned his eyes to her.

"Control yourself." He told her, having to hide his grin. He was enjoying what this was doing to Rae. Rae watched, hungrily as one man unzipped his fly and instantly shoved his cock down the woman's throat. She barely even saw the cock before it was down the throat. Rae started to squirm again as she noticed the power dynamic; three fully clothed men, one entirely naked woman on her knees between them, getting passed from one cock to the next, her throat being fucked more brutally than Finn had ever done to her. Beside her Finn watched with intense desire as well; he was going to work up to being this rough. His mind was working over it when suddenly one of the man slapped the woman's face hard. Finn felt a strange clenching in his stomach and gritted his teeth. Rae watched the woman lap it up, seeming to love the slap, but she barely had time to enjoy it before she was shoved onto another cock. This one spat on her, they all showed a complete lack of respect or regard for the woman and Rae found this to be strangely erotic and a complete turn on. The third man pushed his full length into her mouth hard, eliciting a loud gag from her, but he kept pushing past the gag point, smacking the back of her head when she struggled to get it all in.

"Shit." Finn hissed at the levels of aggression. After several more minutes of this all three men came in her mouth and she swished the massive triple load around in her mouth, gargling the mess happily before swallowing. She sat back on the edge of the stage and the men left the stage and went backstage. The woman curled up in a ball and pretended to sleep as Dominick nudged his woman with his foot, pushing her onto her side, she kept her forehead on the floor as best she could and Dominick laughed as he stood up. Reefing the woman up by the hair, he stood her up and showed her to the audience.

"What is your name?" He asked in that cultured voice of his. She spoke but her voice could not be heard.

"Anabel." He repeated. Rae felt a strange dissonance seeing someone that looked so much like Finn on the stage and feeling Finn's presence beside her. "Get on your knees Anabel." He said, the command obvious in his voice; he didn't need to force her to her knees, or yell… his voice was calm and powerful. There was a sense less of 'you don't want to disobey me' and more of 'you want to obey me' in his voice. It was almost intoxicating. Anabel knelt and he gently stroked her face. She looked up at him adoringly, still dressed, and he opened her mouth sliding his fingers into her mouth.

"Anabel, I'm going to fuck your mouth. You don't breathe unless I let you breathe. You don't close your mouth unless I tell you to. Do you understand?" Rae was infatuated with his voice, so calm so cultured. Finn was impressed by his authority and watched the way Anabel nodded her head as soon as he took his fingers from her mouth. He stroked her hair, "I'm going to be quite… violent." He told her and she nodded her head, he put his fingers back in her mouth, "Are you ready my pet?" He asked her gently and she opened her mouth wider, indicating that she was ready. He unzipped his fly, and like the men before him, he kept his clothes on as he fucked her face; hard, fast, his hands grasping her hair and throat. Finn's eyes narrowed in desire. Dominick didn't let Anabel up to breathe very often and she was gasping for air every time he gave her the chance, but she was slammed back into his cock before she had finished taking her breath every time. After several minutes of this, the whole audience transfixed on the action as they were hypnotized, he spoke again.

"Anabel darling," He said to her gasping form, "Lie on your stomach on the floor." She did immediately and he masturbated until he came, she opened her mouth, but most of it landed on the stage. He crouched and looked into her eyes, "Now you're going to lick it up." He said softly. She nodded and began licking his semen from the stage, Finn couldn't take his eyes off the action; he wondered if Rae would ever do something like that. He sat back down in the chair and watched her lick up his cum. He knocked the armrest twice and she looked up at him, he pointed back to the floor and she returned to being his footstool.

"Whore." He said softly and the naked woman who had already been face-fucked by Dominick's three friends, stood up and turned to him. He pointed to the centre of the stage and she stood there, her eyes down, her arms folded behind her back. The three men returned from the backstage area, this time when they got to the stage they undressed before turning to the woman and forcing her down onto her knees, hands and slaps pushing her into place, even though she was obviously willing to do anything they said, they spoke no words to her. A man knelt behind her and pulled out the butt plug, threw it into the audience and immediately began to slide his cock into her arse, smacking her arse hard as he fucked her. Simultaneously one of the other men began to fuck her throat again. The third man squeezed and slapped her breasts. Rae watched in awe at how much this woman could take; she was being jackhammered from both ends and Rae was getting wetter as she watched it. After a few minutes the third man laid down on the floor and the woman was picked up and shoved down onto him, he penetrated her anally and then vaginally, swapping between the two as the other men watched. Eventually he slid into her vagina and the other men came back to the action, one beginning to fucked her throat, the other sliding back into her arse, Finn's eyes widened as much as Rae's did as the woman took a truly brutal hammering in all three holes simultaneously. Rae made a small noise in the back of her throat and squirmed sightly, changing the pressure on her cunt deliciously. And that was enough for Finn. He stood and grabbed her hand, pulling her from the room to the private room; the door had been wedged open and they walked straight in, finding a table right near the opening, he walked around it and grabbed Rae's hair, bending her over it so that her face hit the table. She grunted in excitement and reached to pull her dress up for him. Finn put one hand on her lower back and the other in her hair and pulled her hair up while pushing her back down, forcing her to arch her back. She gripped the edges of the table and looked out the door at the stage.

"You keep your eyes on the stage, understand?" Finn said calmly, but with a deep raw edge to his voice that sounded dangerous.

"Yes sir." Rae answered without turning around. He pulled her dress off her shoulders and she felt her breasts rub against the rough table before his hands were on them, squeezing them until she cried out, his mouth on the back of her neck sending shivers of pleasure down her spine. It felt like she was going to cum before he'd even touched her pussy. She started to groan in pleasure as he squeezed her nipples.

"Don't you dare cum." The tone of his voice was icy and Rae bit her bottom lip and nodded that she understood. He lifted up her skirt further, exposing her arse and brought his hand crashing down on her arse harder than she had ever experienced. She grunted in pain and had to fight to keep her head up, watching the sex show. She heard someone in the room comment on the smack and felt her stomach knot, but Finn's hand was crashing down on her other arse cheek before she had a moment to really register that people knew she was being spanked right now. Her cunt was aching and she felt his fingers sliding over her crack and willed him to slide them into her pussy, instead he slid them up and down, from her clit to her arsehole, over and over, making her ache for his cock in her cunt more and more. Finn looked down at her bent over, and knew he could do whatever he wanted to her. His finger rested on her anus and circled it slowly, she looked over her shoulder at him and he looked up at her.

"Unless you've got something to say." He told her, giving her a chance to say the safe word, as he pressed his finger against her hole, "You get your fucking eyes back on the stage." Rae's eyes lingered on his as he pressed more firmly against her anus and she slowly turned her face back to the stage. Finn licked his finger to lubricate it and waited for a moment to give Rae a change to change her mind. Her stomach clenched and unclenched as she watched the three men fucking the woman on the stage. She had known this would be a possibility when she had brought him here, giving him the consent to do whatever he wanted; she enjoyed the fear, she wasn't going to say no and it surprised her. She felt his finger sliding into her anus and her mouth opened in surprise, she tried not to clench around it and noticed that her cunt was aching even more; almost painfully. She felt herself laughing as her cunt starting to throb with desire as he slid his finger in and out of her. It was fine, it felt ok. She didn't know how she'd go with a cock, but for now, she was coping with it fine. It actually felt good and it made her pussy feel hollow and ache to be filled in a way she'd never experienced before. He felt her body moving in rhythm with his fingering, felt herself groan. Finn watched his finger going in and out of her arse and grinned triumphantly. It was going to happen. He knew it know. But not tonight. He wanted proper lubricant for her, and for them to be on equal footing when it happened. But the very real possibility that she graduate from fingering to his cock made him feel elated. Wait until he told Chop. With his other hand he took his cock out of his pants and rubbed it against her cunt. She groaned loudly.

"Don't. Cum." He ordered. He bent down and licked the area between her arse and vagina and her groan took on a high pitched quality he'd never heard before. And then he licked her cunt, working his tongue down to her clitoris. Rae groaned louder than she ever remembered groaning before. On the stage, the woman was again getting three loads of cum and Rae's inside were bursting for cock as she watched the woman swallow the cum and felt his finger working its way deeper into her arse, his tongue lapping at her clit. She had to consciously stop herself from coming; it was the hardest thing she'd ever done. And then he was sliding his cock into her cunt as Dominick was undressing on the stage, ready to start up on Anabel again. Her whole body was instantly on that precipice before orgasm and Finn felt her tenseness, heard the urgency in her groans and froze everything except the fingering of her arse. Rae stayed, perched on that precipice for many minutes, groaning loudly, enjoying the feeling of his cock inside of her, but still, coupled with the feel of his finger sliding in and out of her anus; she was actually loving the anal play.

"Don't cum." He told her again and she pulled herself with great effort away from the edge. When Finn sensed that she was settled enough he started to fuck her, his finger staying in her arse, he looked down at himself, penetrating two of her holes and felt almost ready to cum himself; the excitement, and her reactions were almost too much for him. On the stage Dominick had ordered Anabel to lie on the table on her back. She had her legs spread wide and he was fucking her, one hand firmly around her throat the other grasping her breast, his fingers digging in mercilessly. From her angle, Rae couldn't tell if he was fucking her vaginally or anally, and she found she didn't care right now. Finn started to spank her again as he fucked and fingered her and it took everything in her not to cum; the orgasm kept building. She was going to scream the house down when he finally let her release this. He reached forward and put his fingers in her mouth and she sucked them instantly. He groaned, now he was penetrating all three of her holes. He could feel her cunt throbbing around his cock, he knew how close she was, how desperate she was to cum. But there was no way he was letting her cum yet. He pulled out of her cunt and fingered her for a while longer, her groans continued and she still moved in sync with his fingers.

"Answer with one word." He told her. "Do you want me to fuck your arse, right now?" Rae didn't give herself chance to think.

"Yes." She answered instantly, because right now she wanted him to do anything to her; she just so desperately wanted to cum. He withdrew his finger from her arse and pulled her upright by the hair, hearing her gasp in disappointment. He pushed her to her knees and she made a happy noise and opened her mouth instantly. He grabbed her hair and pushed her face further down to his balls and enjoyed the feel of her wet tongue lapping at him as he masturbated himself to orgasm, pulling her head up at the appropriate time, enjoying that she opened her mouth instantly for his cum. This time the entire load went in her mouth.

"Don't swallow." He told her and she nodded. Her cunt felt swollen and desperate for release, but she managed to find a calmness in her frantic need to cum. He pulled her to her feet by her hair and looked her up and down, the skirt of her dress was caught up around her waist and her breast were bare, her makeup smeared, her hair a mess, dried cum down the side of her face. He'd made a mess of her.

"Watch the stage." He told her as he gently pulled her skirt down. Rae was glad that the room was quite dark, no one wold be able to see exactly what was going on in there. But they would have heard her brutal spanking and her groans, Finn forbidding her to cum. She felt another thrill go through her body and didn't think she could take any more. Finn slowly pulled her dress back over her shoulders, covering her breasts, but leaving the buttons undone. He did nothing to fix her hair or make up; he couldn't see it properly in this room, and besides, he was turned on by the fact that she looked like a mess. His cock as still hard and throbbing as he pushed it back into his pants.

"Walk two steps behind me." He said softly, almost kindly as he stroked her face and she nodded, once again swishing the cum around her mouth. "Don't swallow, don't cum, and always act like a lady." She nodded. They sat back in their seats and Rae immediately folded her hands in her lap and put her eyes back towards the stage calmly. She saw Dominick sliding four fingers into Anabel's vagina and anus and felt no shock at that, in fact it just made her cunt ache more. Would that ever happen to her? Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not. But it didn't change the fact that watching people have sex was unbelievably sexy. From Tom and Gina and their kink free show to the shocking Pandora to the dark and divine Dominick. It had been amazing and she had gotten so many ideas. She happily moved the cum around her mouth, revelling in its taste and smell. They watched Dominick finish up by coming in Anabel's mouth, ordering her to swallow softly. His show had been a little over 60 minutes long in total, and it had been so satisfying. With the two shows beforehand it had been just over two hours of sex and being turned on and Rae's cunt was letting her know about it. Pamphlets for Dominick and condoms where handed out and Finn stood and looked around, people were fucking everywhere, and he could certainly stay and torture Rae more, but for his first outing to a sex show, he felt content with what had happened and wanted to get her home; he had a feeling he'd be coming a couple more times before he was done. He began to walk out, Rae following two steps behind as ordered. At the door Mistress greeted them.

"Did you enjoy yourself Finn darling?" She asked him and looked at Rae momentarily, a satisfied grin touching the corners of her mouth. Finn looked back at Rae and saw her hair half pulled out of her ponytail, lipstick smeared up one side of her face, tear marks from one eye where the eye had watered when his cum had dribbled into it, dry cum clearly visible on her face her eye make-up smudged her dress opened and rumpled.

"I did." He answered. "Not sure if my whore did." He looked at her and grinned, "She hasn't cum yet."

"I can tell." Mistress answered, "You can almost smell the desperation to cum on her." She looked Rae up and down, "Glad you're finally keeping your mouth shut." She said and Rae nodded slowly. Finn grinned happily and turned his eyes back to mistress.

"We'll be back." He told her.

"Of course you will." She turned to another couple leaving and Finn continued to head out as she greeted the woman this time. Rae opened the car door for Finn and he sat in the car and waited for Rae to sit down.

"Get your tits out." He told her and Rae pulled her dress open exposing her breasts. "They stay out until I say to cover them." He told her and started the car as she nodded. They drove in silence, Finn's hand massaging and squeezing her tits in between changing gears, Rae holding his cum in her mouth and trying to sit like a lady as her cunt only ached more and more for release. When they pulled into Herbert Crescent Rae felt her body start to really ache, she was so close to being allowed to cum now. She groaned around her mouth of cum in anticipation as he turned off the engine.

"I'll open the door for you." He told her and she nodded. He got out of the car and scanned the street; it was empty, as expected when it was nearing 2am. All the houses were dark and quiet and Finn grinned with a growing idea; he wanted to wake up the whole fucking street as the last thing he did on this truly unbelievable night. He opened the door and Rae hesitated to get out of the car; her breasts were still exposed.

"Get out." He told her and she obeyed, her eyes scanning the street as he had. But she barely had a chance to ascertain that no one could see her before he had spun her around and bent her over the bonnet, the car between her and the house. She folded her arms behind her back as she'd seen the subs do at the club and went lose, letting herself be utterly controlled by him. He pulled her hair sharply up, so she could see the house as he pulled up her skirt again. She groaned, frustrated; she couldn't cum until she got home, she had to be in that house, so close, before he'd let her cum. He chuckled when he heard her frustrated groan; he did enjoy torturing her like this. Her eyes were glued to the front door as he once again slid a finger in her anus. She groaned much louder; the strange sensation of something going in and out of that tight hole made her vagina scream for attention.

"Don't cum." He told her forcefully before he let go of hair, "Keep your eyes on the house." He commanded and again put his mouth to her cunt making her groan raggedly, her throat unable to open up, her mouth tightly closed around his cum; the smell and taste of it filling her senses. She whimpered, her brows drawn as her body ached painfully for release. She felt herself rushing towards the precipice again and tried to control herself. She felt like her toes were on the edge of the cliff and she was struggling to keep balance. At the moment that she felt she couldn't stop herself from falling anymore he stopped and she groaned loudly in frustration and protest. He withdrew his finger and Rae became unreasonably angry at that; she wanted him in her, and now he wasn't touching her at all. Finn chuckled again and knew he had to do this to her again; it was far too much fun not to. He leaned against the car beside her, casually, and lit a cigarette.

"Do you wanna cum, whore?" He asked her, his voice barely a whisper. She groaned loudly, her vocal chords trying to form the word yes with her mouth firmly closed, she nodded her head emphatically, desperately, willing to do anything to be allowed to cum. "Are you inside the house?" He asked her innocently and she groaned angrily and shook her head with real fury. "Pity." His voice was so calm and soft, Rae moaned in appreciation for how sexy he was. And then his hand came crashing down on her arse and the sound echoed up the silent street. Rae's eyes opened wide in surprise, pain and more pleasure than she had ever experienced from a spanking. She pressed her lips together tightly as she gasped in pain, her eyes turning to the neighbouring houses, afraid they'd heard. He spanked her arse hard again and again and again, Rae gasping loudly, her cunt on fire with pleasure. He didn't stop until he'd finished smoking his cigarette, Rae was in an agony of pleasure, tears in her eyes when he finished spanking her, her chin quivering from the effort of keeping her mouth closed throughout the whole thing. He put a finger against her crack and she rubbed against him like a randy animal. He laughed as he saw her going crazy with desire, groaning loudly. He pressed a finger against her arsehole and she pushed back against him, sliding him into her and Finn cocked an eyebrow in surprise as she rid his finger aggressively, groaning unrepentantly.

"Dirty bitch." He breathed and withdrew his finger from her to once again be met with an angry groan. He smacked her arse again and then without any warning slid his cock into her cunt and started to thrust into her smoothly. Rae groaned loudly; the urge to cum rising instantly, her body tensed and rushed towards the precipice and she worked hard to stop herself from coming. She groaned urgently, and as loudly as she could with her closed mouth, the groans becoming desperate, high pitched whimpers as she struggled to not cum. Finn could feel that she was close and he pushed her down into the car, her breasts pressing against the bonnet, her forehead touching the smooth black metal.

"Swallow." He told her and Rae did immediately, her mouth opening, letting out a loud groan, "Cum for me girl." He ordered as his slipped his thumb into her anus. And Rae came spectacularly, her whole body shaking violently, her cunt clenching rhythmically with orgasm around his cock, Finn groaning loudly in appreciation at the strength of her orgasm, her moans were louder than anything she'd done before.

"Scream for me girl." He ordered, and she did.

Phillip woke up from sleep to hear a loud orgasmic groaning; more screaming… He got out of bed and went to his window just as the groan hit fever pitch and she screamed out his name. Phil couldn't see much from where he was, just the dark outline of someone he knew to be Rae bent over the bonnet of the car, someone, he knew it was Finn, ramming into her from behind. He could see the movement, the action, but thankfully, no details. He instantly closed the curtains and looked away, but he could hear her crying out his name. From the pitch and urgency of her voice, he knew she wasn't faking those orgasms. He closed his eyes, wishing he couldn't hear her, but loving that he could; she sounded magnificent when she came. It was torture.

"Oh my god Finn." She cried out as another orgasm rocked through her body. Finn noticed lights going on down the street and laughed triumphantly.

"Cum again girl!" He ordered, but he didn't need to. From the moment he'd let her cum, she hadn't stopped coming. He fucked her cunt and fingered her arse again, this time letting her enjoy it to the fullest, and it was spectacular. He started push himself to cum as more lights were turning on and he knew the police would be called soon. But he wanted to let her ride out this orgasm to the end. His eyes scanned the street; only their house was still dark and her groans had finally slowed to ragged gasps, still loud; she was back on the precipice of coming already, he saw curtains twitching and pushed himself to cum harder; they had to stop now.

"Down." He told her as he withdrew and she slid her back down the car and crouched, to protect her knees from the road. She opened her mouth and Finn took both of her hands, holding them together above her head in one hand pressing them against the car, the other leaning on the roof of the car as he slid his cock down her throat, her head banging against the car as he started to fuck her throat, hard. Finn focused on coming and felt himself getting close.

In his room, Phillip was trying to stop himself from having another look now that everything had gone silent. But he couldn't stop himself and he looked out to see Finn looking down at something hidden by the car. Phillip knew what was happening as Finn threw his head back, clearly in orgasm. He closed the curtains again and tried not to think about whether Rae swallowed or not. He shook his head and went to his ensuite to have a shower, probably a cold one.

Finn helped her stand up, her legs were exhausted and weak. He noticed that his cum was still in her mouth.

"Swallow." He grinned and watched her swallow his third load of the night. "I want more." He told her and she nodded. "You can talk, we're back at the house now." He gently pulled her dress over her breasts, and smoothed the skirt of the dress back down as she spoke.

"I'm exhausted." She instantly blurted out, "but my cunt is aching for more and I wanna cum again right now." She told him.

"I vote for the pool." Finn said as he locked the car and took her hand.

'Oh that's nice." She agreed, "We can float around…"

"And make love." Finn unlocked the front door and looked back at her.

"Aye." She said with a happy smile. "So you liked present number two?"

"Aye I did." He closed the door behind them and they headed downstairs immediately, both still horny. "I was thinking we could make it a regular birthday present?"

'Of course." She grinned.

"For both of us." He added, "I be the sub on your birthday… you be the sub on mine."

"I like this plan Finlay!" She said and stripped off her dress, took out her hair and let it fall own her back.

"You're so beautiful." He told her as he went to the poolside bar and poured them both a drink of iced water. She took it gratefully and sipped it, her eyes never leaving his. They knew they'd deconstruct the evening at some time and talk about everything that had happened, but for now they shared a heated glow of satisfaction and desire. She took her drink to the pool and sat on the edge, her feet dangling in the warm water, she could already feel the bruising rising in her arse and knew that sitting tomorrow was going to be very difficult. She put her glass down and looked back at Finn as he stripped and sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist she leaned into him and they sat together peacefully for a while before they both slipped into the pool. They embraced immediately, kissing deeply and slowly circling in the water. She wrapped her legs around him, staring into his eyes.

"I love you Finn." She told him as they clung to each other and he gently slid himself into her again.

"I love you girl." He answered still not able to believe his luck that he had her. She groaned throatily as he began thrusting and he sighed in appreciation of how perfect she was in pleasure. He knew as he watched her that even if they only made love for the rest of his life and explored his darker side no further, he'd be enraptured with the look on her face when he was inside of her, no less after they'd done it a million times, as he had been the first time. She was spectacular and he was utterly captivated by her. The most miraculous thing was that he could see from the look in her eyes that she felt exactly the same about him.

_'My Baby Just Cares for Me' by Nina Simone_

Rae opened her eyes to a bright breezy late Thursday morning. Finn was sleeping beside her peacefully, a satisfied smile on his face. She nestled in closer to him and he opened his arms to her in his sleep.

"Rae." He mumbled softly, "I love you."

"I love you too." She told him and kissed his lips gently. He snored lightly and she smiled and stroked his face, watching his eyes begin to twitch with dreams. Rae stroked his face and he responded to her touch slightly, his eyes still moving in his dream state. "You're kissing her." Rae whispered and he sighed contently. Rae bit her bottom lip, surprised that it had worked, "You're touching her." She whispered and felt his fingers twitch against her, his arms gently closing around her. He mumbled her name and something else she didn't quite catch, but it sounded like something positive. "You are safe." She told him and stroked his hair, "And warm. And happy." He pulled her closer again, "And nothing bad can ever happen to you here." She watched his peaceful face as she spoke; that content smile of his was something special. "I will always love you Finn." She told him and he sighed happily again. Rae looked up at the clock on the wall and knew she had to wake him soon; she had somewhere to take him. When she looked back his eyes were open and on her face.

"I had a dream." He told her, "I were making love to you, and you were speaking to me, while I was kissing your lips." He looked down at her lips, "Like as if your voice were in me own head." He looked up at her eyes.

"What did I say?" She asked and he looked away.

"I can't exactly remember." He furrowed his brows, "I remember that you said that you loved me." He looked back at her face, "And I felt safe and warm." She watched as his sleepy eyes started to close again and kissed his lips gently. This kiss started as soft, gentle touches of soft lips, his hand raising to her face to stroke her skin. Slowly the kiss deepened and Rae gently rolled him onto his back and straddled him. His eyes were still sleepy, the content smile still playing on his lips when she started to make love to him. His eyes never left her face, his hands gently caressed everywhere he could reach.

"I love you so much." She told him fiercely and Finn took a good long time to take everything in, the emotion behind her words, the feel of being inside of her, the slowly disappearing dream that left the sense of safety and warmth lingering throughout his whole being. The thought of how hard it had been to come back to Stamford from Leeds, both times; neither time with a guarantee that it would work out. He thought about the fear he'd had about going to Kester with her. He thought about their fights, their struggles, his own coming into manhood, and understood that it all led to this moment.

"I love you Rachel Nelson." He replied meaningfully and was greeted with kisses so deep he could barely breathe.

It was a little over 2 hours later when they left the house and Finn slid behind the wheel of their car.

"90 Holloway road." Rae muttered as she opened up the road map. He looked over at her.

"So this is me third belated present?" He asked and she nodded.

"It's really a continuation of your second belated present." She said with a grin and he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Oh aye?" He asked with a saucy grin, "What's my dirty little minx up to now?"

"You'll see." She grinned, "Head to Hans Crescent." She said, her eyes on the map.

"It's alright, I roughly know where Holloway road is." He answered her and pulled out. "So…" He gave her a quick look and Rae knew it was time for the deconstruction to begin, "Did last night go as expected for you?"

"I didn't really know what to expect." She said honestly, "But I thought you'd be more dominant… and rougher."

"Sorry." He frowned slightly.

"It's not a bad thing. I just thought I was getting into that dark place of yours you talk about."

"Oh you were." He grinned, "It was all new to me as well though." He said with an apologetic grin, "So you know… I was…"

"Taken aback?" She asked slightly worried.

"Feeling my way." He answered. "I'm always wondering if it's right for me to wanna do the things I wanna do. Like this morning when I saw the bruises on your arse I felt deeply satisfied before I felt worried that they must be hurting you." He scrunched up his face, "It worries me."

"They're alright." She shrugged, "Every time they throb me lady bits get a little tingle." She grinned and he looked over at her.

"Yeah?" She nodded. "You'll have to bruise me some so I know what it's like."

"You don't have lady bits. Might be different for you." Rae mused.

"One way to find out." Finn gave her a cheeky grin and thought back to the previous evening. "I guess the problem was that I don't know if it's ok for me to do those things to you."

"I already said that-"

"No I don't mean for you." Finn said, "I mean for me." He tried to make her understand, "Like if I do let myself go as dark and predatory as I can… what's to say I won't be able to come back one day."

"The fact you're asking that question." Rae said, "And that you love me. And that we always talk about it. And that you're just as excited about me doing to you. And that making love is still your favourite thing."

"It's hard to see you as an object for me cock when you're the woman I love." He persisted.

"Alright." Rae said, "Think of it like this. You want me to do it to you… to use you to get off?"

"Aye it's so sexy." Finn grinned at her.

"What makes you think I won't start treating you like that all the time?"

"Cos I trust you." He answered, "And we love each other." Finn said, "I understand what you're saying Rae."

"Are you worried I can't handle it?" She asked him.

"99% of what I saw at that club is stuff I wanna do to you." He gave her a meaningful look.

"How much of it do you want me to do to you?" Rae thought about it for a while.

"I don't know me own limits Finn." Rae answered honestly, "I'm kinda hoping we'll find 'em together."

"But you do know 'em. You said pineapple quick smart about the ashtray mouth thing."

"Do you wanna do it?"

"No."

"You have to be honest if we're gonna do this stuff Finn." Rae pressed him.

"No Rae. I don't wanna ash in your mouth." He answered her firmly, his eyes on the road.

"What if I wanted you to?" Rae asked and he paused.

"I dunno." He answered honestly, "I'd give it a go."

"Exactly." Rae answered. "When we was in Sutherland, there was no way you was ever, and I mean ever, getting anything my arse… but last night…" Rae saw the grin play at the corners of his mouth before he put on a serious face again. "You did."

"D'you do that just for me?" He asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"Yes and no." Rae said, "At first I was aware that by giving you all the power last night it might happen and that I'd try it for you. But by the time you slid your finger up there, you could have been using your cock and I would have thanked you for it." Finn had to work hard to conceal the smile this time, "I guess you worked me up to it." She shrugged, "And yeah, it was one of my boundaries, but by the time it got to you doing it, it didn't feel like a boundary, it felt like new territory to explore and I were excited for it." Rae put a hand on his thigh, "and I liked it." Finn turned his eyes to her.

"Aye?"

"Aye." She answered honestly, "But you're never putting your cock up there, alright?" She told him and he gave her a cheeky grin.

"Alright."

"Don't think I didn't notice that grin." She hit his arm softly and he chuckled. Finn's mind worked over what she'd said.

"Is it wrong to work you up to it though?" He asked her sincerely.

"Not the way you do it." She said thinking of the way Liam had introduced her to blowjobs; an expectant demand. "You just turn me on so much, tease a little and wait for my cue to see if I want it or not." She looked over at him, "Don't think I didn't notice the chances you gave me to say the safe word. And I knew what was coming, and I didn't say it. Cos I wanted to know what it felt like, even though I were scared." Rae stroked his thigh, "You push a little, but not too much, and never with the expectation that it'll happen… And I knew you'd stop if it hurt."

"And it didn't hurt?" He asked her concerned, his eyes flicked to her face.

"No." She answered honestly, "And once I got used to it, it were actually nice… it makes my cunt ache for cock though." She shook her head, "like nothing else."

"Oh aye?" He asked slyly and she shook her head.

"I shouldn't o' told you that."

"So I'm thinking it's ok for me to finger your arse then?" He said with a satisfied grin.

"Just one finger." She said firmly, but he gave her that cheeky grin again. "Finn Nelson!" She said with a warning tone.

"I can't help it if one day I work you into a horny frenzy and you want me to slip two in, now can I?" He asked cockily and she hit his arm, but he persisted, "Or three." Another hit, "Or even me cock."

"You're a bad man Finn McCay Nelson." She told him, laughing.

"The worst." He answered with smutty tone that made Rae's cunt start to ache again. "And you love it."

"Aye I do actually." She admitted and he turned his eyes to her.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to do all the things I wanna do to you." He said honestly before looking back to the road, "It feels wrong to…"

"We'll work up to it." She told him, "And we'll only play rough sometimes… like once a month… or once a fortnight." Finn grinned slyly and bit his bottom lip as Rae spoke, "Or once a week." She added when she saw his smile.

"Oh Aye." Finn laughed, "Sunday fuck-fest." They laughed.

"No Saturday morning." She corrected, "Gives me Sunday to get over it, and we gotta do it afore I've eaten anything." He guffawed with dirty laughter, "So you can get in deep and neither of us have to worry about me gagging." She said it in a tone that was so matter of fact that it became deeply erotic for Finn. He turned his eyes to her again.

"You trying to make me crash girl?" He asked her, "Be thinking about trying to get me cock in your stomach when you speak like that." She chuckled, completely unworried by the idea that he might think like that. "You serious about making it a weekly thing?" He asked incredulously.

"Maybe."

"But won't it take all the fun and spontaneity out of it?"

"Or make us anticipate it more." Rae answered and Finn considered this, "Plus it allows you to have a clear boundary; Saturdays are for exploring that side of us both. The rest of the week is for whatever happens."

"So Saturdays kinda become the day for trying out new things." Finn was starting to warm to the idea.

"And the rest of the week we just do the stuff we already know." She continued the thought, "We make love, we fuck… we might even get a little kinky if it's something we're both really comfortable with."

"And if we're not in the mood on Saturday we obviously don't do it."

"Aye." Rae could tell that Finn felt safer with this idea. It provided a set time to let that darker side out, to explore it. It put a limit on how often he'd use her as a sex object, and doing that gave him permission to do it properly.

"I might get really rough." He warned.

"Good." Rae answered, "Cos I want you to." She grinned and added, "And some o' those Saturdays is gonna me tying you down and hurting you."

"Good." Finn answered lustily, "There hasn't been enough o' that."

"Well I'm still new to it too." She told him and he nodded. "But I got a few ideas from that club… Pandora was quite… instructive." Finn raised his eyebrows.

"Fuck." He laughed, "I'm fucking in for it aren't I?"

"And you're worried about what you'll do to me?" She laughed with him, "You should be more worried about what I'm gonna do to you!"

"Ah but I want you to do it. So I'm not worried about it."

"I wonder if you'll feel that way when I tie you down and put me finger up your arse." She said and he turned his face to her incredulously.

"You what?"

"You put it up mine, so I put it up yours."

"We didn't agree to that afore I did it." He said, suddenly understanding the fear she'd felt.

"Sucks to be you." She grinned at his discomfit.

"Are you serious?" He asked.

"Somewhat." She told him. "I'm not gonna make you do it for fingering my arse… but let's put it this way Finlay. If you wanna put your cock up my arse, you gonna have to take my finger up yours." Finn's jaw dropped and he had to force himself to keep his eyes on the road.

"Rae?" He asked horrified.

"It's not even a fair trade!" She said, "Your cock's much bigger than my finger." He turned his eyes to her looking thunderstruck, "I know you thought that cos you got a finger up there, your cock was guaranteed." She told him, "It's not." Finn furrowed his brows and thought about this as he looked back at the road.

"So…" He mulled it over, "If I let you finger me arse, I get to fuck yours…?"

"That's not what I meant." Rae had meant for it to be a fun way to put the brakes on his intentions for just a little, while she got her head around the whole anal thing, not for him to take it as a challenge.

"No but that's the outcome innit?" He grinned.

"What, you gonna do it?" She asked him surprised. He bit his bottom lip.

"Maybe." He replied cheekily.

"Well you have a think about it Finlay." She advised him and he nodded his head, unwilling to commit to anything just yet.

"Aye I will." He grinned.

"So what things d'you wanna try from the show?" She changed the subject.

"Well we're getting some fucking hooks." He said and she nodded. "What about you?" He thought about Pandora's show, "You wanna piss on me like that Eve bird did to that guy?"  
"Why d'you go straight to that?" Rae asked with a disgusted tone.

"Cos it were the most fucking fucked up thing I ever saw."

"It kinda grosses me out." Rae agreed. "So that's out then?"

"Aye." He replied, "But I were willing to do it if you wanted to."

"Serious?"

"I'm willing to do a lot o' things for you." He shrugged.

"I think we can put pissing off the table." Rae said assuredly.

"Oh aye?" Finn asked, "With anal sex?" He asked smugly.

"Alright, some things are gonna stay off the table." Rae said, "And some things, might… and I mean might… not definitely… might get put back on the table."

"Well I got no desire for pissing." Finn said firmly.

"And it grosses me out." Rae added.

"Not seeing that make an appearance any time soon then." Finn breathed a little easier. "But I do got desire for anal… and you…?"

"I'm unsure."

"So it's kinda hovering around the table." Finn asked with that cheeky grin.

"But not on it." Rae said firmly.

"Aye, not on it." He agreed seriously, "Unless I get me arse fingered." He mulled it over and Rae shook her head.

"But you know… it might be nice to get a riding crop." She said softly as she thought back to Pandora's show.

"Oh aye." Finn said with an appreciative tone. Rae bit her bottom lip. "Oh hey, what were the bartender saying to you?"

"He a made me ask for drinks even when he knew me mouth was full o' cum." Rae laughed, "And then he told me to do it again with proper manners." Finn laughed loudly. "He called me cunt and slut and bitch…" Rae shook her head. "I can't believe it."

"Holy shit." Finn frowned.

"It's alright in that setting and in those circumstances innit?" She said seriously. "I wonder what he'll call you in December." Finn turned his eyes to her and bit his bottom lip.

"Can't wait." He said honestly.

"And we'll know more what to expect and how to act." Rae laughed, "Won't be such obvious newbs!"

"It were so good though Rae.' Finn told her, "Thank you." He turned to look at her, "I enjoyed it, and next year I will take full advantage of properly submissive, no fighting back, no arguing Rae."

"See that you do." She said in a commanding voice that set Finn's balls to aching.

"How d'you even think of it?"

"I dunno." Rae laughed, "I were just drunkenly dancing with Rhys and bang – there it was."

"So Rhys makes you think about sex shows?" Finn laughed.

"Well he is attractive."

"Oh right." Finn shook his head and she laughed at him. "I'm sorry about that naked girl who sat on me lap."

"It's not your fault." Rae shrugged, "Gotta expect some stuff like that to happen at a place like that."

"She wanted me to be her daddy." Finn told her with a frown.

"Ugh… that feels so incestuous." Rae answered with a confused face, "Why would…?" she shook her head, "I'm never calling you daddy." She told him and Finn laughed.

"I'll survive that one being off the table." He told her earnestly, "I much prefer being called sir." His tone became serious suddenly and his eyes turned to her slowly.

"Sir it is." She replied with a smutty grin. Finn pulled up outside of a café and Rae kept her eyes on him. She didn't need to clarify that she would only call him 'sir' when she was being submissive; that was understood by both of them.

"What am I gonna call you?" He asked her and she shrugged.

"Dunno yet." She thought about it, "I'll let you know." He came and opened the door for her and Rae got out and looked around. "So where are we?"

"Somewhere on Holloway." He looked across the road at a mannequin in a shop window wearing a latex dress, the next store had heavy bars over the windows and the next store was an automotive parts store. He looked for a number somewhere but Rae was grinning.

"Well done Finlay!" She exclaimed, "That House o' Harlot." Finn looked over at the mannequin in the window and grinned.

"Getting some latex?" He asked with an expectant grin.

"No something else." Rae had done her research, searching through the phone directory for hours, making numerous phone calls, and she had found this place. "Fettered Pleasures." She said and Finn looked for a store sign.

"Where is it?"

"Next to House O' Harlot." They crossed the road together, Finn already having an idea what was in store. When they got to the door Rae turned to him and took a bunch of five pound notes from her pocket and handed them to him. "Fifty pounds." She said, "To spend on what you want." She turned and pressed the buzzer on the side of the door; Rae had rung up and asked what they had and they had told her she'd have to do this, and where they were located. Finn un-scrunched the battered notes that he realised she must have been secreting away for months and looked at her adoringly as she stared at the door expectedly.

"Thank you." He said softly.

"I want it to be a gift that'll keep on giving, you know?" She grinned as the door opened for them. She walked in first, Finn following and they were greeted by a well organised store with just about anything and everything you could imagine for sexual exploration. Costumes, harnesses, swings, ropes, masks, handcuffs, dildos, cock rings, electric shock prods, blindfolds, corsets, gags, whips, paddles, books, magazines and so much more… they even had chastity belts. Both Finn and Rae looked around with wide eyes and open mouths. The man behind the counter gave them a sly grin.

"How can I help you today?"

_'I'll Let Nothing Separate Us' by Otis Redding_

It was Friday and Archie felt anxious in a way he never had before. The plan was to visit Tom's parents in Church Row in Hampstead for lunch before they went to meet up with the gang at Chop's place. Chop constantly reminded them it wasn't his place, but that's what they kept calling it nonetheless.

They had been living together for just over a week. Archie's parents had been curious and cautious about the decision, but overall supportive, even helping him move out. Archie had known they'd be good, they liked Tom, and his mother would often lament that it wasn't fair to women that Tom was gay. His father had been unimpressed about his plans to defer university until he had heard about the travel plans, he'd given Archie £1000 to add to his travel savings and Archie had had a hard time not crying. And then his mother had done what he knew she'd do; she'd invited Tom to bring his parents to meet them. Tom had deflected this request admirably, but the fact remained; Archie had not met Tom's parents.

Tom was noticeably tense as he drove. He knew London well, so it made sense that he'd drive. Archie put a hand on the back of his neck and gently rubbed his shoulders. He sighed appreciatively but kept his eyes ahead.

"Are you sure you wanna do this Archie?" Tom asked gravely. Archie wasn't used to Tom being so serious.

"Yes." He replied with equal seriousness.

"My parents are not your parents Archibald." Tom said, a hint of sorrow creeping into his voice.

"I know, you've told me." He said, "But there must be something good about them. They created you." Tom scoffed slightly at what he said and shook his head.

"Well I hope they've mellowed since the last time I saw them." He said grimly, "But I somehow doubt that." He pulled up outside a beautiful double storey terrace house and took a deep breath.

"We'll be fine." Archie told him and Tom nodded. But it wasn't himself he was worried about; he was used to his parents. He was ashamed of the way they were and he worried how it would affect Archie. Archie grabbed the bottle of wine he'd spent way too much money on and got out of the car. Tom stayed in the car a moment longer before slowly getting out and looking up at the window of what had once been his bedroom. He hesitated to take Archie's hand, knowing what his parent's response would be. But as soon as his fingers slipped between Archie's fingers he felt calmer. He looked at Archie's smiling face.

"Alright." He nodded, "Let's get this over with." They walked up to the door and Tom turned to Archie, "I love you." He said firmly. "Ok?"

"Ok." Archie grinned, "I love you too." Tom lifted the door knocker and clanged it down three times. The door was opened almost immediately by a woman of striking beauty. It was clear where Tom had gotten his looks from. She looked over her shoulder and then at her son, her face stern.

"Why are you holding his hand?" She asked without looking at Archie.

"He's my partner, mum." Tom replied stiffly. She mulled this over for a moment, her eyes taking Archie in with no hint of warmness.

"If you want to come into this house you don't touch each other." She replied firmly. Tom opened his mouth angrily but Archie squeezed his hand.

"That's fine." Archie said, trying to make peace before anything started. "Alright Tom, it's fine." Tom's nostrils flared and he looked away before nodding his head. They let their hands drop and Tom's mother leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"It's good to see you, my son." Her smile was almost warm, but her whole body was strained, and her lips pressed together almost angrily. She turned, her slender figure moving gracefully as she led them into the house.

She sat them down in the dining room and Archie handed her the wine, she looked at the bottle and tried to smile.

"Thank you." She said softly and left the room, she still hadn't looked Archie in the eye; she kept looking at the air above his head. Tom's hand found his under the table and Archie gave him a quick look as they sat at the table, Tom taking a few deep breaths before chuckling darkly.

"So that was my mother, Pamela. Pammie to people she likes." He lowered his eyes, "Mrs Daley to you." He said in an apologetic tone.

"It's alright." Archie reassured him.

"Call her Pammie." He said with a devilish grin and Archie gave him a stern face.

"Shush you!" Archie said, "I'm gonna make a good impression on them!" Tom chuckled and shook his head.

"I love you Archie, and you're perfect." He looked terribly sad and turned his face away, "But you won't."

"Tell me about your father." Archie said bracingly, choosing to ignore Tom's pessimism.

"Used to be a top end footballer." Tom answered, "Coaches now."

"Mr Daley to me?" Archie asked and Tom nodded grimly.

"I'm sorry Archie." He whispered fiercely, "Let's just go."

"Not a chance." Archie said firmly, "They're your parents. They might be a hard nut to crack but we'll get there. We're brilliant." Archie stroked his face and Tom closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Archie's fingers, "And they obviously mean something to you." Archie said, "You've stayed in contact with them all these years."

"I think that's out of guilt." Tom said softly, "You know; you're supposed to love your family and be close to them."

"Your nerves today tell me that they mean something to you." Archie told him, "So they mean something to me."

"No you mean something to me, and this is madness." Tom countered.

"Oh well." Archie grinned, "Your madness is my madness." Tom grinned, feeling deeply loved and supported by Archie, and so pleased that he had a partner like him.

"Alright." He mumbled not even trying to hide how happy Archie made him. "Alright." He took another steadying breath and looked around the house. Pamela walked back in with some plates and glasses.

"Your father will be in momentarily." She looked pointedly at how close they were sitting. "Thomas sit on the other side of the table." She said firmly and set the table. Tom looked at Archie and Archie gave him a shrug to tell him just do it. Tom gritted his teeth and sat on the other side of the table. Pamela left the room again, but returned with water for both of them. She sat down and turned her torso towards Tom.

"Tell me what's happening with you." She said almost softly. Archie could see she wanted to know, could see that she loved her son. But it was also very clear that she didn't approve of his sexuality at all.

"I'm starting a business." He told her and she smiled genuinely.

"That's excellent news!" She was truly stunning when her face was lit up like this. Archie grinned at Tom but Tom gave him a slight shake of the head and a knowing look as he spoke.

"With Rhys." Tom turned his eyes from Archie back to his mother to see her face fall, as he knew it would.

"Is that that black man I saw you with last year in Kings Cross?"

"That's him." Tom said with an unimpressed look.

"Why would you throw your money away like that?" Her demeanour was stern again and Tom gave a rueful smile to Archie.

"I'm not wasting my money." He countered calmly.

"That man is clearly a thug." She asserted strongly and Archie couldn't believe his ears.

"Rhys is great." He tried to reason and Pamela moved her eyes to the air above his head.

"Have you met this black man?" She asked him.

"Yeah, and he's a good guy." Archie said reasonably, struggling to not get defensive; he really wanted to make this work with Tom's parents.

"Then you know that he is covered in tattoos and has green facial hair and his eyes are cold. He looks like a murderer." She stated. "They all do."

"It's blue now." Archie said in shock before looking at Tom who looked away to hide his grin. Archie gathered himself the best he could and pressed on; "And sure he looks a bit intimidating cos he's basically a human mountain, but he's actually really nice." He didn't know how to address the blatant racism and lowered his eyes, still in surprise at the way she thought. It made him see Rhys in a new light; did he have to put up with this kind of thing all the time?

"Is he a homosexual like you? Is that why you like him?" She asked Archie, still refusing to look at him.

"And me." Tom added.

"You are not a homosexual." She turned her eyes back to Tom and spoke in a firm commanding voice. "You are confused."

"No mum. I'm gay."

"You re my son." She said softly, "and I love you." She looked at him with grim determination, "And you will get over this phase." She stood up and went to the kitchen and Tom turned to Archie.

"Racist and homophobic." He said and Archie shook his head.

"Tough room." He joked with little humour, letting out a deep breath.

"To be fair, my dad isn't as racist, but he is quite the misogynist." Tom grinned mirthlessly, "And of course, he's got the homophobia down pat."

"Do you wanna show me the room you grew up in?" Archie tried to keep his chipper mood.

"You don't go anywhere in this house without permission." Tom said, "I'm very much a guest." He looked around, "This hasn't been a home to me since I realised I was gay."

"How old were you?" Archie asked and Tom breathed out slowly.

"Nine." He answered, "I knew I preferred boys when I was nine." He laughed, "I didn't understand what sex was, but I knew what boys were." He pulled a slightly bitter face, "I told my mother when she kept talking about girls and she told me that every little boy thinks he prefers boys but eventually I'd blossom, and realise what girls had to offer." Archie pulled a face, "I think she's still telling herself that." Tom took a sip of his water and his father walked in. Like Tom, he was ridiculously handsome, and Archie had an image of what Tom would look like when he started to grey; very nice indeed. He offered a hand to Tom and Tom stood to shake it.

"Good to see you son." He said stiffly and sat down, ignoring Archie all together.

"Dad." Tom equalled his father's stiff demeanour and added and bleak smile. "This is Archie." Tom tried to introduce Archie but his father held up his hand.

"Your mother told me." He said almost kindly, and Tom's face fell. Pamela came in with several plates of food and arranged them around the centre of the table.

"Darling this is Thomas' friend, Archie." She said as she began to serve the food onto their plates. Mr Daley turned to Archie with a fake smile and looked in his eye.

"Archie?" He said with an almost pleasant voice, "Short for anything?"

"We live together." Tom said firmly.

"So you're flat mates?" He asked with a warning tone as he turned back to Tom.

"No dad." Tom said with a tone that denoted he'd had this discussion with them a thousand times already. "He's my partner, I'm gay."

"He's your friend." Pamela said firmly, like a mother chiding her naughty son.

"It's fine." Archie told Tom, he could see that the only way Tom could have a relationship with his parents was to lie. "We're flatmates." He grinned supportively and Tom shook his head.

"I won't hide." He said to Archie. "We're lovers." He turned to his father, "I fuck that man every day," He turned to his mother, "and he fucks me." His mother slapped his face and Tom nodded as if he had expected it.

"Don't use that language in my house." She said angrily and looked away from him.

"I've told you both that I like men, that I'm gay, I'm a homosexual, a faggot… I've told you both."

"You're confused." Pamela sat down and began to eat her lunch. Tom turned back to his father who was glaring at him.

"Gonna punch me this time too, dad?" Tom asked, "Gonna try beating the fag outta me again." Archie felt his inside clenching as Mr Daley stood up and Tom stayed seated, as if in defiance, he raised his chin, ready to be hit, not fighting back, a heartbreaking look on his face.

"My son is no pansy." Mr Daley said, "Those poofters are all effeminate shit eaters."

"Yes as a boxer I am clearly the least masculine a man can get." Tom answered sarcastically, "And yet I'm still a poofter."

"If you were truly a faggot," Pamela interjected, "You'd have a proper relationship, instead of all these flings you have." She reasoned, "You're just experimenting, lots of young men do that."

"Mum I'd marry this man if the fucking law'd let me!" Tom said, "I'm in love with him."

"It's unnatural!" She shrieked at him as if a dam of pent up anger had burst but she quickly found her composure again and looked down at her food.

"It's not unnatural!" Tom replied more exasperated than angry, "It's been around forever… animals do it!"

"Faggots are a new thing." Mr Daley said and Archie turned his eyes to him in disbelief, "They're a fad."

"Wanna ask the ancient Greeks about that?" Archie said before he realised he'd opened his mouth. Everyone turned their eyes to Archie, but he only noticed Tom's grateful eyes.

"Gay people have always been around, dad." Tom added, "Cave people were probably doing shit that made other cave people mutter about 'unnatural sex acts.'" Archie enjoyed the way Tom built on his argument.

"Faggots only came into existence when the feminazis starting emasculating men." Mr Daley said and Archie simply couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Look, you know what?" Tom said angrily and Archie felt his insides clench again, "I'm tired of this discussion." He looked at his father and then his mother, "I'm 24 years old now." He said, "I'm still a fucking poof. It's not a phase, I'm not experimenting." He told her, "It's never gonna change." He looked almost imploringly at her, "Mum…" He said, "I love you." She looked at him with a disgusted look on her face, "But Archie is my partner, and if you can't accept that-"

"If you're a faggot you're not my son." His father said and Tom turned his eyes to his dad. It was obvious he'd expected this from his father, but it hurt no less. He looked back at his mother.

"And you?" He asked her, his voice cracking slightly.

"I could overlook all of your dalliances, no matter how repulsive they are. But if you're truly gay… and you're in this… relationship… then…" She looked up at her husband, "Then we'll disown you, and have nothing more to do with you."

"Not just us…" His father said, "But your sister, your cousins… the whole family." His voice was filled with hatred, "You'll come near none of us." The ultimatum lingered in the air and Archie watched Tom's face as he swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"So you're asking me to choose between my partner, and my family?' Tom said softly, his eyes downcast, his whole body filled with misery.

"Find yourself a good woman." His mother pleaded. Archie watched Tom closely and he felt his heart break from the sorrow on Tom's face as he nodded slowly.

"Alright." He said slowly and his mother's face lit up. "Alright." Tom repeated more firmly and looked up at his mother.

"My son!" She said and she leaned across the table and took him into her arms joyously. Tom hugged her fiercely, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Archie watched his eyes squeeze shut in pain before he buried his face in his mother's neck, holding her for as long as he could.

"Goodbye mum." He said to her gently, though his throat was constricted with emotion and his heart ached for the love of his mother. She froze.

"Tom?" She asked him, confused and heartbroken as he pulled out of the hug and looked at her for a moment longer, his eyes filled with grief, before turning away and looking at his father with regret.

"Goodbye dad." He got up and looked over at Archie. "Let's go."

"Tom!" His mother asked in a small panicked voice, unable to believe what was happening as Tom turned to leave, Archie hurrying after him.

"If you do this boy, never come back!" His father roared and Tom didn't even pause as he kept walking and opened the front door. Archie turned to look at both of them, Pamela looked grief-struck; she had clearly expected the ultimatum to go her way. Mr Daley was infused with rage and Archie knew better than to hang around.

"I'm sorry." He said to Pamela sincerely and quickly left as she shrieked at him.

"This is your fault!"

Tom was in the car waiting for him and as soon as Archie got in he drove away without having looked back once.

Archie was silent as Tom drove angrily, above the speed limit. He didn't know what to say.

Eventually Tom realised he was driving dangerously and pulled over aggressively, slamming his hands into the steering wheel as soon as they were still.

"I'm so sorry." Archie said to him, but Tom couldn't look at him just yet; the tears were threatening to come and he didn't want to give his parents one more tear. Archie reached over the park brake and the glove box and wrapped his arms around Tom and he instantly melted into Archie's arms, sobs starting to push out of his throat. Archie held Tom, silently stroking his hair and whispering to him.

"We've got each other." Archie told him, "We'll always have each other."

_'Hey Dude' by Kula Shaker_

After dumping their bags at the base of the stairs, Tom and Archie followed Finn through the house to the kitchen table where everyone was crowding around with empty plates and drinks, waiting for Rhys to finish cooking.

"Best food you'll ever eat!" Chloe was telling them.

"It fucking smells good." Rae said, "Hurry it up Rhys!" Rhys turned to Tom and Archie, being the only person who realised they were here far too early.

"How did the family luncheon go?" He asked astutely.

"Well I've officially been disowned." Tom declared with a wry grin, "And I need a stiff gin."

"I can help you with that son!" Chop went to the liquor cabinet while the rest of the gang crowded around Tom to offer him support. Rhys came over with a big pot of jollof rice and a big plate of chicken and beef suya skewers.

"Good!" Archie looked at the food, "I'm fucking starving." He put an arm around Tom's shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"At least we can eat and be fags here." Tom said with another wry grin. Chop returned with vodka and gin and put them down on the table.

"Let's do a few shots!" He said happily and went searching through the kitchen for shot glasses.

"I don't know if a house like this has shot glasses." Rhys said as he started to serve out the food.

"I always feel at home in places like these because I've got four names." Archie said and ate some food. "Oh fuck this is hot!" He laughed.

"I warned you all it were spicy!" Chloe told him.

"You think you're so posh cos you got four names!" Rae told him.

"You do too!" He shot back.

"Oh right." She laughed, "Guess I belong here too!"

"The rice is less spicy Archer." Izzy told him and handed him a glass of water from the jug and glasses Rhys had put out for them. She watched Chop searching for shot glasses for a minute and shook her head before going to the cupboard and just getting normal glasses to pour the alcohol in. She poured alcohol for everyone, gin for Rhys and Tom, vodka for the rest of them and Chop gave up and came back to the table. They raised their glasses and Chop nodded to Rhys.

"I think this splendid cunt here should toast us since he cooked the food!"

"You're stuck on 'splendid cunt' aren't you?" Chloe asked him and he nodded. He'd been calling everyone a splendid cunt lately. Rhys grinned and nodded, before looking over at Tom with real affection that Tom returned.

"To Tom, lost one family, gained a better one." Rhys said meaningfully and looked around at them all. It was brutally honest and blunt in a manner that only Rhys could accomplish without causing pain; because the point was not lost on anyone. Tom was a part of them all now.

"Yeah!" They cheered, "To Tom!" Tom chuckled and accepted the toast happily. They downed their drinks in one gulp and started to eat in earnest, Tom's insides settling as he felt Archie's thigh pressed against his and listened to the chatter. Eventually they subtly asked him and Archie for details.

"You're a thug Rhys!" Archie cheered loudly and Rhys laughed a deep chuckle and nodded.

"Didn't you know?" He said, "All black men are thugs!"

"Oh aye!" Rae laughed, "Obviously."

"Yeah I've robbed this house six times in the two hours I've been here." He said and poured some more gin for Tom. He'd been cooking the whole time he'd been here and the juxtaposition between Pamela's expectations of Rhys and the reality was startling to Archie as he considered his previous thoughts in the Daley house; he only wished he'd said more, about the racism, the misogyny and the homophobia, but he'd been so determined to make it work somehow.

"How did Rhys come up?" Izzy asked confused.

"Oh." Tom said and looked up at Rhys, "Um…" Rhys nodded, "We're going into business together." He declared almost apologetically to a stunned silence.

"A better gym." Finn said instantly and Rhys nodded.

"Fucking brilliant!" Chop pronounced loudly, "Another fucking toast!"

Lunch was a rowdy affair and by the end of it Tom was laughing along happily, his troubles forgotten for now. After a tipsy, rambling exploration of the house, Chop getting annoyed that Rae and Finn weren't in a guest room, but not caring enough to make them move, they all poured out of the house to explore London on foot. Kelsey and Phil were sitting on the front stoop again, Kelsey smoking and looking unimpressed with the brightness of the sun.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Chop asked loudly when he saw Phillip. Phil, topless again leaned back on the stairs disinterestedly.

"I fucking live here." He answered. Rae raised her eyebrows at the way he swore again and then her eyes widened as she remembered all the house lights going on two nights ago when Finn had fucked her up against their car. She turned her eyes to Phil and saw him look down immediately, and she knew that he had heard her screaming out Finn's name. She felt a blush rise in her cheeks and cleared her throat softly.

"You live in fucking Stamford." Chop said. "Are you fucking following us?" He said angrily.

"If this place wasn't my home I could hardly afford to fucking live here for 6 weeks on the off chance one of you fuckers might own the place next door, now could I?" He asked and shook his head, "Fucking hell, do you have any idea how much these places cost." He said and Kelsey chuckled; her brother was holding his own and she liked that.

"Course I fucking do!" Chop said, "It's me grandpa's place."

"Wait… Peters didn't sell the place did he?" Phil said, "And you're a Peters?" He asked incredulously.

"Course I fucking am!" Chop was getting unreasonably angry.

"Arnold fucking Peters." Phillip laughed and shook his head, "Small fucking world." He mused.

"Holy shit." Kelsey laughed, "I haven't seen any o' you guys for years!" Chop furrowed his brows and looked up at Kelsey.

"You Kelsey?" She nodded and Chop broke out into a huge grin. Kelsey jumped up and threw her arms around him, Phillip stayed on the stairs, but his eyes were curious, obviously wondering if Chop would be different now. Chop kept his arm around Kelsey's waist and turned to the gang,

"I used to hang around with these fuckers when we was kids and I visited me pa in the holidays!" He said happily.

"We were about 10 or 11." Kelsey grinned, "You were my first kiss." She told him and Chop laughed.

"Me too!" Chop answered, and Izzy furrowed her brow.

"I haven't seen you since I was about 13 or 14, what happened?" She asked.

"Ah me dad's gambling got outta control and he fought with me pa." Chop said, "Wouldn't let me visit no more." He let go of Kelsey's waist and looked down at Phillip, "You fucking changed lad!" He chuckled, "You were such a weedy fucking cunt!" Phillip shrugged lazily and Chloe turned her eyes to Rae, and they shared a look that said 'we shouldn't find him so attractive but…'

"I'm not fuckin 12 anymore Arnie." Phil replied.

"What are you fuckers doing in Stamford?" Chop sounded so confused.

"Father has work." Phillip said in a posh voice and Chop laughed.

"Aye, I remember your dad being right proper ball buster." Chop reminisced.

"He pretend we were always rich, rather than we'd just gotten rich that year!" Phil replied, "So we'd fit in better with our new peers." He laughed, "fucking twat." Chop sat down on the stairs, Finn raising his eyebrows.

"Billy said you was disowned or something Kelsey?" Chop asked as she sat beside him.

"I was!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Father has work in Stamford." She put on the posh voice and then started laughing, "So I'm teaching this fucker," She nodded at Phil, "To be as much of a disappointment to our parents as I am!" Chop guffawed.

"Good fucking luck with that." He looked at Phillip, "Fucking overachiever here."

"I'm not understanding." Izzy said, uncomfortable with how close Kelsey was siting to Chop.

"We used to live out in Ealing." Phillip said, "Poor as fuck." Kelsey laughed.

"But happier than when we got rich as fuck." She told them, "Least I was." Phillip shrugged nonchalantly.

"Dad figured out something with the internet that revolutionised the way businesses traded on the stock markets."

"Internet?" Izzy asked.

"Computers." Archie said impressed.

"And when I was 11 and he was 9… dad bought this house and moved us in to a place that hated children being children." Kelsey said bitterly.

"The only good part was when the Arnold's grandkids came during the school holidays." Phillip added.

"We'd go rambling around London getting in to all sorts o' trouble!" Chop grinned, "Can't believe I didn't recognise you mate!" Chop said apologetically.

"'S'alright, I didn't recognise you either." Phillip shrugged. "I was closest to Bill anyway." Finn tried not to laugh. Phil had once a friend named Bill. "How is he? I haven't seen him for a while."

"Knocked his girl up!" Chop gossiped.

"I thought Chantel were gonna stay a virgin till she got married?" Kelsey asked.

"Nah they broke up, cos o' that!" Chop grinned cheekily, "New girlfriend, Bianca."

"Holy shit!" Kelsey shook her head. "We've got a lot to catch up on Arnie." She laced her arm around Chop's intimately and Chop took in her grin for a moment before turning to Izzy.

"Yeah you haven't met me fiancé yet." He nodded at Izzy and Kelsey's face fell momentarily and then she smiled genuinely.

"Hi!" She got up and shook Izzy's hand.

"You two should come on our little jaunt!" Chop said and then suddenly remembered Finn and looked up at him guiltily. Finn shook his head took a deep breath and then shrugged as he looked away.

"You gotta introduce me to everyone!" Kelsey grinned and Chop did the rounds. The first thing Rae noticed was that Kelsey was incredibly genuine and interested in everyone and the second thing she noticed was the cool nod she gave Finn. Phillip looked awkwardly at everyone as he stood up, his shirt hanging from his back pocket, and shoved his hands in his front pockets. He looked up at Rae thoughtfully and she shot him a friendly smile which he returned. Chop and Izzy lead the way, Kelsey and Phillip walking with them as they caught up on each other's family news. Phillip pulled his plain white t-shirt on as he spoke with Chop.

"I didn't even know your grandfather still owned this place you know." He said, "He's never here when I am."

"He's going out with an Italian woman now." Chop told him, "Spends a lot o' time in Italy with her."

Their group of four walked slightly ahead of the rest of the gang as they walked through the neighbourhood towards Hyde Park. It was a beautiful, warm afternoon and Finn rested his arm over Rae's shoulders lazily as they sauntered towards the park. He looked ahead at Chop and Phillip talking.

"I'm never getting rid o' that arsehole am I?" Finn said and Rae shrugged.

"Who knows?" She said, "You might." She said with a grin.

"You always know what to say to cheer me up." He pulled her to him slightly and they chuckled together. Beside them Tom was walking arm in arm with Archie.

"I'm sorry about my parents." Tom said softly."

"Don't be." Archie, "I shouldn't o' pushed to meet them."

"You couldn't have known what they're like." Tom shrugged sadly, "I'm sorry if I gave you a fright." He said with a sad face, "You know if it looked like I'd choose them over you."

"I never doubted you for a second." Archie said, "The minute the ultimatum was put out there, I knew exactly how it were gonna go down." Archie gave him a sad smile, "I'm sorry they did that to you."

"'S'alright." Tom said, "It was going to happen eventually. Least it happened on my terms." He smiled more happily, "And for a really good reason."

"Yeah, it's not a bad reason, I s'pose. As reasons go." Archie teased.

After a meandering stroll through the gardens they found a beautiful willow tree near the water to sit under, to while away the afternoon. Before he sat Finn offered to get drinks for them.

"You should shout everyone, Phil." Kelsey said offhandedly and Phil looked up Finn.

"Yeah alright." Phil said and got up to accompany Finn. Rae watched Finn give a deeply unimpressed look at Phil before kissing her and heading off to a drink and ice cream stall they'd seen not far from here. Phillip followed, his hands stuffed in his pockets again. He caught up to Finn in the line to the refreshment point. They were silent for a long while. Up ahead the man selling drinks told everyone he'd run out and he was waiting on a refill. Finn watched everyone moving forward to the next refreshment point a bit up the road and walked up the vendor.

"How long?"

"Five minutes." He replied. Finn looked up at the line of people heading up to the other stalls.

"Better off waiting." He told Phil who nodded in agreement.

"Busy day." The vendor grinned. Finn and Phillip nodded politely in response before the vendor turned to start cleaning his stall. They waited in silence for a few minutes, Phillip becoming more antsy as the time passed. Finn was just about to tell him to spit it out when Philip spoke in an oddly measured tone.

"Did you do it deliberately?" Finn furrowed his brows at Phillips question.

"Do what deliberately?" He asked with a mocking, disinterested tone.

"Did you fuck… her…" Phil didn't want to say Rae's name in this sentence, "outside deliberately so I'd hear her calling out your name?" Phillip didn't look at Finn. He kept his eyes forward, his jaw squared angrily. Finn looked at the side of his face and chucked derisively.

"You really think I'm thinking about you in anyway when I'm fucking that magnificent woman?' Finn laughed, "I wanted to wake up the whole street, and I knew I could make her scream loud enough to do it." He allowed a bragging tone to creep into his voice and watched Phil's nostrils flare slightly, "The fact that you heard it too and that it upset you so much Philly, is just cream and icing on the cake innit?" Phil turned his face to Finn, anger in his eyes.

"Stock's here guys!" The vendor said and Finn gave Phil a sadistic grin before turning to the vendor and starting to pick out drinks for everyone. When the time came for paying Phillip pulled out his wallet and opened it up in clear sight of Finn, pulling out a £50 note from at least a dozen of them in his wallet. He allowed a slight smile to play with the corners of his mouth. His wealth was not usually something he bragged about, or even cared about, but right now he'd take what he could get.

"Have you even seen that much money before ickle Finny?" He asked with a curious tone that dripped with condescension and mockery.

"Nah, cos I don't take all me daddy's money." Finn replied and gathered up the drinks in his arms.

"Not me dad's money." Phillip said and pocketed his wallet.

"Oh right, so you got a job?" Finn asked with a derisive laugh.

"No I got a trust fund." Phil replied and saw the tightening of Finn's mouth before he managed to put the mocking smile back on his face.

"Still your daddy's money innit?" Finn shrugged as if to say he was unimpressed. But Phillip saw the envy behind his eyes and felt a deep satisfaction.

"Not according to the bank." Phillip answered smugly and Finn nodded.

"You did nothing to earn that money." Finn shot back.

"Does the unfairness of it burn you?" Phillip didn't even try to counter Finn's argument; he agreed with him.

"Not as much as the fact that I got Rae burns you." Finn said and surged forward to greet his mates with their drinks. Phillip handed out the drinks he had and sat down quietly, disappointed with himself for playing the wealth card, but even more disappointed that Finn had had an answer to it.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Chop asked them all.

"Drinking o course!" Kelsey laughed, "You lot should come over, got a party planned, and a bunch o' good friends coming, you'll know some o' them Arnie." She told Chop before she turned her eyes to her brother, "Andrea's coming too." She said with a sly grin and Phillip lowered his eyes.

"Which one's Andrea?" He asked softly, hoping the others hadn't heard it but Chloe instantly jeered happily.

"Phil's getting pussy!" She said loudly, Finn narrowed his eyes as he took this in and then started to laugh as he saw Phillip's eyes shoot to Rae. But Rae was looking at Chloe, laughing, as Chloe kept teasing. "And he's not even gentleman enough to know their fucking names!" She laughed.

"I'm shocked Phillip!" Rae added with fake shock and tutted, Chloe joining in.

"Alright." Phil said softly, "I been right drunk a lot lately, and I don't remember her friend's names… nothing quite so interesting." He laughed awkwardly.

"What fucker denies getting laid?" Chop shook his head, "You're an embarrassment to men everywhere." He was laughing but Kelsey shook her head; there was only so much she could do for her brother, if he wasn't willing to take the bait, she couldn't help him. But she tried one last time.

"Andrea, you know, the one you made cum loud enough to fucking wake me up." Phillip crimsoned and Chop patted him on the back hard.

"And you don't know her name!" Chloe laughed, "You fucking dog!"

"That's fucked up, Philly boy." Finn laughed at him, deliberately calling him a boy.

"Dog's better than being a puppy." Kelsey said and they all laughed.

"Like you, little puppy." Phil replied to Finn.

"Who you calling puppy?" Finn shot back, "I'm a straight up wolf." The gang laughed, deliberately ignoring the tension between Finn and Phil, but Rae gave Finn a look and whispered something to him that made him grin saucily. Phillip watched them talk softly to each other in between short, but heated kisses, as everyone else laughed and kept running with the dog jokes.

"No but really fuckers!" Chop finally stopped them laughing, "What are we doing tonight?"

"I wanna go to a wild nightclub!" Izzy said firmly and Rae and Finn shared a grin, Rae turning to her eyes to Rhys.

"I'm guessing not as wild as some of the night clubs I know." Rhys said softly, but everyone heard him. Finn had to lower his face so no one would see him grinning and Rae just barely managed to stop herself from blushing.

"Do tell!" Archie grinned and Tom cleared his throat and lowered his eyes. "Oh, what are you hiding?" Archie asked with a laugh.

"Might have met Rhys at one of those wild clubs." Tom said with a small tight smile. Rae tried to stop her mouth from dropping and turned to look at Finn, who also understood what Tom was saying; Tom had met Rhys at a live sex show.

"I thought you guys met at the boxing joint?" Chop asked.

"No we…" Tom pulled his ear uncomfortably. "Met at a club…" Archie caught the look Tom gave Rhys, and he started to chuckle.

"What?" Tom asked, worried.

"I'm not fucking stupid." Archie laughed, "You guys fucked right?" He motioned to Tom then Rhys.

"Yeah." Tom said slowly, apologetically. "Years after we met."

"I don't care." Archie shrugged, "I'd fuck him too if I could." Tom laughed surprised and relieved. Finn was struck by how well his best mate handled things like that and felt a pang in his stomach for his own failings. He pushed it aside; he was getting better every day with that kind of stuff. Archie gave Chloe a look and she shrugged nonchalantly; everyone was alright here.

"But that particular club is by invitation only." Rhys said, ending conversation about it, "It is a closed community." Rae and Finn exchanged a glance, both thankful that Rhys had invited them.

"So one of your other wild clubs?" Izzy asked hopefully. Rhys considered this for a moment.

"Bagleys is having a metal and industrial foam and jelly night." Rhys said slowly.

"The fuck is that?" Chop asked what everyone was thinking.

"A lot of fun." Tom answered.

_'Chaos B.C.' by Sepultura_

It turned out that a metal and industrial foam and jelly night was also quite messy. Metal and industrial indicated the type of music that would be mixed in with a driving dance beat. Foam and jelly indicated the surroundings. Jelly wrestling and foam machines spurting out foam over the crowd.

When they walked up to the warehouse in Kings Cross, They had all been surprised that a nightclub ran out of this location. The music was so infectious that they started dancing while waiting in line to get in. Rhys and Chloe dawdled and ended up rocking up a few minutes later than the rest of them. Seeing them all waiting in line Rhys had laughed and pulled them out of line, going to the front, he was let in immediately, the bouncer blowing Rhys a kiss and he winked back before heading deeper into the club with the gang in tow. Inside were six huge rooms of people dancing, music thumping through the air, Rae's hair already wet from foam, her skin slippery with it. When they had carved out some dance floor space for themselves Finn put his hand on Rae's waist, already wet with foam, her shirt clinging to her, his white singlet clinging to him, their hands slipping over each other's bodies as they danced. Finn and Rae had hardly noticed the jelly wrestling rink to the left, as intensely interested in each other as they were. But Izzy's eyes opened up in surprise as she saw two women ripping each other's clothes off as they wrestled. Chop's eyes lingered for a moment before he noticed how Izzy's dress was clinging to her. He pulled her into his arms and they started to dance.

"Who's getting the first round?" Archie asked over the music and Tom raised his hand, Chloe and Rhys went to the bar with them to get the drinks. Izzy saw them go and pulled on Rae's arm; the girls had decided to try to not let the gang get split up at these sorts of things. Rae looked over and nodded, both girls pulling frustrated men behind them to the bar. When they got there Chloe threw her arms around Izzy and Rae's shoulders, laughing she nodded towards the far wall where they saw a woman bent over, a man fucking her from behind, she was sucking another guy's cock. Izzy's jaw dropped in shock and then she started to giggle uncontrollably.

"Ah a good old fashioned spit roast." Rae said and Chloe laughed.

"He's even doing it in time to the music." Chloe pointed out and Izzy dropped her head to the side, her giggling momentarily stopped as she watched him thrust in time to the music.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed loudly and started to giggle again.

"What's going on baby girl?" Chop asked, the crowd round the bar jostling them, Rhys's huge size a real advantage here; no one was jostling him out of line. Chop saw the three girls looking in one place. Izzy stunned, Chloe intrigued and Rae looking like she'd seen better. He turned to look and froze, his jaw dropping.

"Fucking hell!" He started to laugh and nudged Finn's arm to let his mate see the gloriousness that was people fucking in public. Finn turned around.

"Oh right." He said and nodded. "Good old fashioned spit roast, I see." Chloe looked over, noticing the same language and attitude from Rae and Finn.

"Alright you two," She said, "Why aren't you as fascinated by public fucking in public as the rest of us?" She asked and Finn shrugged, unsure how to answer.

"Done it too many times." Rae answered but motioned for Chloe to look at Izzy. She had taken a step forward and was obviously staring at the threesome. Chloe chuckled at Izzy's intense interest and Chop started to notice it too, his brows furrowing.

"I'd get her onto watching 'Penelope' mate." Finn said, leaning into Chop so Izzy wouldn't hear. Chop looked at Finn with a big dirty grin, before wrapping an arm around Izzy's waist, she looked up at him embarrassed and he nodded for her to keep watching. They had agreed to stay sober tonight for the V festival tomorrow, so Tom passed back water and coke and lemonade when he finally had all the drinks. Izzy watched the one man cum in the woman's mouth and she spat it out on the floor as he zipped up his pants and went back to dancing without another look at the woman. Izzy frowned and turned back to Chop.

"Shall we watch some jelly wrestling?" Archie asked with a grin and they all agreed to head that way, following Rhys as he parted the crowds. People stood around a pool of jelly, dancing and watching two men wrestling now, already in their underwear. Rae and Finn again became enamoured with each other, when he grinned at the foam clinging to her hair and looked down at her breasts, her thin shirt clinging to their roundness perfectly. Rae enjoyed the way Finn's wet singlet glowed in the black lights, but she enjoyed how the see-through material clung to his torso even more. Izzy and Chop had started making out, bouncing in time to the music. Rhys and Chloe danced, Chloe enjoying how Rhys picked out the rhythm in the music perfectly, watching him dance was like being at Brazil's carnivale; he knew how to move and he revelled in the music. She felt herself loosening up, her hair flailing everywhere as she danced wildly. There was a sense of foreplay to the way Chloe and Rhys danced, hardly touching, their eyes locked on each other's eyes, their bodies finding the perfect synchronised rhythms, their hips moving in unison. Tom and Archie bounced along to the music, their arms around each other, laughing in spite of what had happened today.

An hour later, after their second drink run, they found themselves dancing in a big circle, their arms around each other, bouncing and yelling to the music, foam covering them. An announcement came over the sound system.

"Whoever can beat Bagleys house jelly wrestler 'big D' can have free drinks for you and ten of your mates for the next month!" People cheered and the gang were surged forward as large parts of the crowd headed to the jelly wrestling rink.

"Big D." Archie said to Tom who smirked in reply. Chloe and Rae had had the same thought and laughed smuttily as they all turned to watched the matches.

As it happened, Big D was a man named Daryl who was quite simply huge. He wore white speedos, nothing else, and entered the rink, dwarfing everyone else in comparison. Except for Rhys. Nonetheless, many men, and a few women, tried their luck with Big D. They found themselves cheering on anyone who was against him, because he was impossible to beat. But each opponent was pinned, the audience chanting '1, 2, 3' for each one slowly almost reluctantly.

After 60 minutes of wrestling and dozens of different unsuccessful challengers a fifteen minute drink break was called. Big D was brought water and he scanned the audience, his eyes lingering on Rhys. He walked over.

"Why have you not challenged?" He asked looking Rhys up and down. "I could use a real fight."

"Then you do not want me to challenge." Rhys answered.

"Big fella like you can't be that much of pushover." He replied, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

"I'm not." Rhys answered. "But you are." If anyone else had said this, it would sound cocky, arrogant, as if he were bragging. But from Rhys it was as simple statement, "I could beat you in under 60 seconds." Big D laughed heartily.

"I doubt that." He said and Rhys grinned at him. "If you think you could beat me, why haven't you challenged?"

"That would ruin everyone's entertainment for the night." Rhys replied. The gang were getting very interested in this discussion and they crowded around Rhys supportively.

"I'd just keep wrestling after you."

"No you wouldn't." Rhys replied simply and Big D furrowed his brows.

"How do you think you'll be beating me that would possibly incapacitate me?" He asked incredulously. Rhys and he were of comparable size; there was no strength advantage here.

"There are several bones I could break that would put you down, some permanently." Finn started to chuckle, this was Rhys bragging, even though the tone was completely factual.

"It's cheating to deliberately break a bone." Big D replied with a grin and Rhys shrugged.

"It'd be an accident." Rhys's voice was so deadpan that Big D paused, almost afraid, before his ego got the better of him.

"Without cheating what else have you got?" He asked.

"More than you." Rhys's voice was calm and factual, while Big D's was filled with bravado and bragger.

"Care to make a wager on that?"

"And ruin the entertainment?" Rhys asked seriously.

"Oh I'm sure you can make it for five minutes before I put you down." Big D mocked and Rhys grinned in reply, turning his head to Finn.

"Got a watch?" Rhys asked Finn and he nodded in reply.

"Gonna bet?" Big D asked.

"What's the bet?" Rhys asked and crossed his arms across his chest. It made him look closed off, concerned even and Big D grinned triumphantly.

"If I win, I get to fuck you." Rhys raised his eyebrows and Chloe scoffed beside him.

"And if I win, the offer for free drinks for my friends and I will be for a full year." Rhys countered immediately.

"That's an expensive loss." Big D balked.

"Fucking me is worth more than how much it will cost you to keep us inebriated for a year." Rhys replied, "And besides," He grinned, "You're Big D… you won't lose."

"I get to do whatever I want to you for a whole night." Big D stated.

"I have somewhere to be tomorrow, but sure." Rhys answered reassuringly. Chloe laughed nervously and Chop put an arm over her shoulders protectively.

"I knew you was queer, like me, the minute I saw you." Big D grinned and looked at him lustily.

"It's true." Rhys answered, "I am queer." Big D nodded happily, knowing he was gonna win this thing now.

"You're on." Big D held out his hand and Rhys shook it. "I'll go clear it with management." He walked off and Chop started to laugh loudly.

"This splendid cunt just got us free drinks for the next year!" Chop told them. Chloe tried to laugh but felt a little queasy. Finn had his game face on, ready to back up Rhys.

"You can't know that Chop!" Izzy said, "Big D is huge!"

"He's also a big D." Rae added, "I bet he's gonna cheat." Rhys started to dance slightly to the music, his eyes on the jelly wrestling rink. He turned them to Chloe.

"Can I kiss you before I begin?" He asked her and she nodded slowly.

"You gotta win this thing, you're supposed to be having sex with me tonight." She told him and he nodded.

"Duly noted Ms Chloe." He replied and she smiled, reassured.

Big D returned with a triumphant grin.

"Management agreed, but you gotta beat me in less than 3 minutes for your reward to be paid." He said.

"What about a timeframe for how long you've got to beat him?" Izzy asked outraged.

"There isn't one." Big D answered and Izzy frowned with disgust, "Do you accept the terms or not?" Big D asked Rhys. But Rhys turned back to Finn.

"3 minutes. 1 Minute intervals." Rhys told Finn and he nodded. "Yes." Rhys told Big D with a huge grin.

"The announcement will be made shortly." He walked away without looking back.

"I knew that fucker would cheat." Rae said. "He can take 10 minutes to beat you and still get to have his bet." Rhys looked over at Rae.

"I need only 60 seconds." He told her, "But I will give the audience some entertainment before they lose Big D for the night."

"The next challenger must beat Big D in under three minutes!" The announcement came, "Or else they won't get their free drinks!" The audience jeered and hissed. Rae looked back over the audience, a few rows back the rest of the room was still dancing. Rhys stripped his shirt off and handed it to Tom, the boys crowded around Tom, looking after Rhys's clothes. Next his shoes and last his pants. Chloe sighed as she looked at Rhys's near naked body, and when the three girls put their heads together, Rae and Izzy had to admit that the view was not bad at all. Rhys wore white underwear, and the bulge was already impressive, Izzy pointed it out to Rae and Chloe nodded with a satisfied grin. They started to giggle, taking Chloe's mind off the possibility that Rhys might lose. Big D entered the rink and Rhys turned to Chloe and kissed her passionately, lifting her up with one arm. He put her down and gave her a lusty look as she looked at him breathlessly.

"Hurt him." She told him and Rhys stroked her face softly before turning to see Big D watching him with a shocked face; Big D had thought Rhys was gay.

The audience cheered loudly when Rhys squared up and drew himself to his full height. He was just taller than Big D, and wearing almost the same clothing as Big D, but it showed Rhys's body to be hard with muscle, while Big D was somewhat muscled, but also clearly less hard than Rhys. Big D looked him up and down.

"I'm still gonna fuck you, you queer-baiter." Big D told him as they started to circle each other. Rhys merely grinned in reply. Big D tackled Rhys to the ground and they started to grapple in the jelly, liquid and green jelly coating their bodies.

"Oh my." Izzy said softly and Chloe nudged her in the ribs. The girls started giggling, but Rae noticed Finn had his eye on his watch as well as on the match. Big D got Rhys on his back and ran a hand down his body, groping Rhys's dick through his pants.

"Hey!" Chloe yelled out angrily. But Rhys grabbed his hand and wrapped his legs around Big D's arm, spinning around so that Big D face was forced into Rhys arse, Rhys pulled at the arm and twisted it till Big D cried out in pain.

"One Minute!" Finn yelled out loudly and held up one finger. Rhys nodded at Finn and looked up at Chloe, he took a moment to smile lovingly at her and then indicated that he was doing this for her as he twisted Big D arm a little more, eliciting another scream from him. Chloe grinned and blew him a kiss.

"Fucking hell." Rae shook her head as Rhys let Big D out of the hold and stood up, his underpants see through, his body dripping with jelly, a predatory grin on his face as he watched Big D get up shaking his arm. "Alright yes Chloe, he's a looker!" Chloe laughed and flung an arm around Rae's neck.

"I think I love him." She said and shook her head, "fuck girls…" She sighed, "I think I'm falling love with him!"

"Well he just nearly broke a man's arm for you, so that's nice." Izzy replied with a big grin. In the ring Big D had tried to throw a punch at Rhys.

"Cheater!" Chop yelled at the top of his lungs. But Rhys had easily defected the punch by grabbing his fist and twisting his arm, simultaneously sweeping his feet out from under him, Rhys went down with him deliberately, allowing Big D to continue grappling him, the audience going crazy screaming at him to beat him. Rhys once again let himself end up on his back, Big D trying to pin him, putting all of his weight on him, but Rhys was quite lithe for his size and he wrapped his legs around Big D's waist and twisted his body round, slamming Big D into the jelly.

"This is ridiculously homo-erotic." Archie said and Tom nodded, the three girls looking over at them momentarily before they all broke out in laughter, Chop and Finn sharing an unimpressed look before Finn focussed on his timing duties. Rhys squeezed his thighs around Big D's midsection making it even harder for him to take a breath as he scrambled to get his face out of the jelly.

"2 minutes!" Finn screamed out and held up 2 fingers until Rhys looked up and saw them. Rhys nodded calmly, and once again released Big D from his hold and stood up, not even panting. Big D took longer to get up, his body heaving with difficulty.

"He might have snapped a rib." Chop commented to Finn and Finn nodded sagely. Rhys waited for him to up and to raise his fists as if he were a boxer.

"30 seconds!" Finn yelled loudly. The audience, also using Finn's timing as well, started to go nuts. Rhys feinted to go left and Big D punched out that way, Rhys using his arm to pull Big D into his arms, his back against his chest. Rhys wrapped his arm around Big D neck and pulled it tight with his other arm. His eyes found Chloe's and he smiled at her. Chloe grinned in return as after just a few seconds Big D went limp and Rhys let him drop to the floor completely unconscious. Rhys used his foot to turn him over and he stood there, one foot on his chest as the audience cheered through the '1, 2, 3' count loudly. The three minute timer went off 4 seconds later and the audience screamed happily, bouncing up and down as Rhys nodded humbly, the outline of his cock visible through his wet pants, his naked body dripping deliciously his muscles rippling with the exertion of the fight, one pectoral tensing momentarily as he turned and nodded to the other side of the audience.

"That's my boyfriend." Chloe said happily as he turned and smiled at her. Rae had to admit Rhys certainly was attractive, but she looked over at Finn cheering and nothing beat that face, nor his body, not for her. She looked back and saw Izzy grinning at Chop, who was chanting.

"Free drinks for a year! Free drinks for a year!" Rae took a moment to really appreciate how good it was that all of her friends were finally happy. Rhys walked over to the edge of the rink and the minute he was close enough Chloe leapt up into his arms, unworried about the sticky jelly all over him. His quick reflexes saved her again and he caught her and she kissed his lips passionately. The bartender came over with a towel for Rhys and a notepad to take down their names for the bet Rhys had just easily won: Big D was still lying unconscious.

"Is he gonna be alright? The bartender asked and Rhys nodded.

"I only cut off blood supply to his brain for a few seconds."

"So that wasn't air you cut off?" The bartender looked confused.

"No that's not permitted in wrestling." He answered, "And it also takes longer to knock 'em out like that." The bartender got their names and sauntered over to Big D to check on him.

"Rhys you been keeping your best moves back!" Rae said as he dried off his legs and put his jeans back on over his sticky underpants with a mild look of disgust.

"You can kill someone doing that." Rhys answered in his usual deadpan manner.

"Oh." Rae answered in surprise and nodded as if this was nothing, "of course." Audience members kept coming over to Rhys to pat his back and congratulate him.

"Free drinks for a year!" Chop cheered.

"Pity we don't live in London." Archie said and they all looked at him.

"Well you know what that means laddy?" Chop asked and Archie shook his head, "We gotta get smashed tonight!"

_'Downtown' by Neil Young_

The sky was just starting to blush with the first hues of dawn when they stumbled from the nightclub laughing and hugging each other. Rhys had made them have a glass of water between each alcoholic beverage, so they weren't as rolling drunk as they normally would have been, but it also meant that they wouldn't have a hangover. All around them people were blinking at the outside world and stumbling around. Finn pushed away some drunk guy who stumbled into Rae and he vomited on the floor, Rae and Finn giving him a wide birth as he started to straighten up. Out here people were fucking as well, and Chop had seen so much fucking inside the club he barely even registered the action. Izzy however cheered on every couple she saw loudly, her drunken voice slurring almost majestically. They stumbled on to King's Cross Station and caught the 5:34 am train back to Knightsbridge.

Rae and Finn stumbled up the stairs to their room and at 6am collapsed in bed, only to be woken four hours later by Tom and Archie; they had to get going to the V Festival. A hurried shower and breakfast later and they were out the door, on the train, heading to Chelmsford. It was a 90 minute train ride and Finn had it in mind to snooze for the whole thing. But everyone was too excited; it was the girl's first big music festival experience and they were running on a high, that made the more experienced boys grumble tiredly, Tom and Rhys ignoring that dynamic and instead reminiscing about various London clubs they'd been to.

"D'you know who I wish were here?" Izzy suddenly asked. "Danny!" She answered her own question.

"Yeah but with his parents and his girlfriend, his time outside of work is very filled up I reckon." Chop said widely.

"Danny's got a girlfriend?" Rae asked amazed.

"What he didn't tell you?" Chop was as surprised as Rae, "Don't you guys talk on the phone a lot?"

"A couple o' times a week." Rae said her eyes slightly downcast, "What's she like? What's her name?" She asked curiously.

"Well I haven't met her but she drew him a real nice picture of a duck." Chop reported.

"He likes ducks." Rae said thoughtfully.

"It's nice that she knows him so well." Chloe agreed.

"Her name's Tix." Chop said, "And he seems to be real-" Chop saw Rae's face and stopped mid-sentence. "What?"

"Are you sure he said Tix?" Rae asked, not wanting to believe it.

"Yeah." Chop said simply, "What is it?"

"And he said they're going out?"

"Well… not exactly in those words." Chop said, "He said he sees her every night though so…" He stopped again when He saw Finn sit up and turn to Rae, her hands going up to her face.

"Oh no." She groaned miserably.

"Are you gonna fucking tell me what's wrong?" Chop asked loudly.

"Tix is dead." Rae said softly and Finn wrapped his arm around her waist.

"You what?" Chop said confused.

"She died a few days after me mum's wedding."

"Poor Danny." Izzy whispered.

"He must mean that he's dreaming about her, right?" Chloe tried to smooth away Rae's fears.

"I hope so." Rae answered.

"O' course that's what it means!" Chop said dismissing Rae's concerns. "And it just means ol' Choppy Chop needs to play wingman for me mate." He grinned happily, "I'm gonna find Danny a girl!"

_'She Bangs the Drums' by The Stone Roses_

"Righto kiddies." Chop asked as they waited in line, "What's the fucking plan?"

"I got the V stage details!" Rae looked down at her notes, "starts with Linoleum, and then, going in order, we've got Echobelly, The Supernaturals, Apollo 440, Teenage Fanclub, Fluke, Pavement, Placebo, Reef, Foo Fighters, Dodgy, Beck, Kula Shaker, The Prodigy and Blur." She turned to Izzy.

"I got the NME stage details," she grinned. "Radish' I don't know them. The driven; I've heard good things about them. Stereophonics; I like them. AC Acoustics; don't know much about them."

"Izzy babe, maybe we don't need to know what you think about every single band?" Chloe asked and Izzy scrunched up her nose.

"I s'pose." She said slowly, still slightly drunk, "Hurricane number one, Embrace, Veruca Salt," She looked up pointedly at Chloe and continued, "Silver Sun, Geneva, Symposium, Echo & The Bunnymen, Monaco, Longpigs, The Divine Comedy, Gene, Mansun, The Bluetones, Ash." Izzy finished.

"I got the Virgin High Energy Tent." Chloe said in a fast, professional voice, "Trademark, Carl Cox, Bentley Rhythm Ace, Finley Quaye, Olive, Jimi Tenor, Lionrock, GusGus, Sneaker Pimps, Death in Vegas, Propellerheads, Dreadzone, Daft Punk, and then The Chemical Brothers."

A long and protracted argument over who to see and the logistics ensued until everyone remembered that half of the bands would be playing tomorrow and the other half today. They went through all the notes and sorted it out again; the location map was poured over, estimated times to get from one stage to the next planned, a meeting spot decided in case they lost each other. In the end it was easy to plan it all out, although in a few instances they'd have to split up to see different bands.

The crowds, people dressed in costumes, goth kids, police officers, grunge kids, ravers… the smells of food, smoke and pot, people chatting, laughing, squealing… stalls, carnival rides and the ticket collectors between them and the festival. It felt like summer. There was no other way to describe it; the heat, the energy and excitement in the air… it was summer. By the time they cleared the gates they could hear sound checks being performed. They had all decided that Linoleum was the first band to see so they headed towards the V stage.

"Chop!" They heard someone calling over the crowd, and they saw Benji, and three of his mates ambling towards them. Chop and Benji bumped chests and Finn and Benji slapped their hands together in a handshake, Archie and Benji also bumped chests before Benji hugged the girls and introduce his mates to them; the lads already all knew each other.

"Frankish, Simmo, and Prude." He said and Rae raised her eyebrows.

"Frank, Simon and…?" She asked.

"Peter." He laughed and checked Rae out slightly. "Rae?"

"Rachel." Rae responded as Benji started handing out joints.

"How d'you get them past the cops." Chop asked impressed and Benji turned and nodded to a cop on the other side of the gates.

"Me cousin, Brian." He grinned and turned back to them, lighting the joint, "He's baked more than me!" He laughed.

"He's baked right now." Peter agreed and smoked his joint, lighting Rae's for her.

"Ta muchly." She said and took a drag, holding it she turned to Finn and put her lips on his for her exhale, he took it in and they kissed while he held the smoke in his lungs, letting it out slowly as they kept kissing. Peter raised his eyebrows and nodded in defeat; it had only been a passing fancy anyway, so he wasn't much put out.

"Right cunts, where too?" Benji asked and then paused everyone looking at him, "Fuck, can't say cunt in front o' girls." He looked horror struck and Rae and Chloe both rolled their eyes and Izzy scoffed.

"Speak for yourself, cunt!" Izzy said loudly. Chop laughed and wrapped an arm over her shoulders.

"I'm a bad influence on you aren't I, baby girl?" She shrugged and grinned happily as the newcomer lads all made shocked noises and started laughing.

"For fuck's sake." Rae shook her head at them.

"Didn't you know girls are delicate little flowers Rae?" Chloe laughed, "Can't handle our cunts." For the entire walk over to the V Stage the three girls said the word cunt so many times that the new boys were starting to feel uncomfortable.

As soon as they got close to the stage they started to thread through the audience. It was the girl's first moshpit and the boys were acutely aware of this and hung back behind them to stop any surge from behind flattening them. The audience pressed in together tightly, everyone moving to the song; Linoleum were playing 'Dissent' and the slower part of the song made everyone stand around and bop their heads. Rae and Chloe cheered loudly but Izzy felt sightly terrified because everyone towered over her. And then the music got harder and everyone started to jump up and down in unison, in time to the music. Rae and Chloe were caught up in the euphoria and jumped along, but Izzy was getting crushed, despite all of chop's efforts to protect her, so he turned to Rhys.

"Help get Izzy on me shoulders!" He yelled over the music and Rhys nodded in reply and tapped Izzy on the shoulder, indicating that he was going to lift her before he did. In no time at all Izzy was cheering and screaming on Chop's shoulders. Rhys considered offering the same to Chloe, but he saw Chloe and Rae, clasping hands and jumping and singing together and instead, with Finn, kept the crowd back, and moshed right along with them.

Forty minutes later, happy and sweating in the summer heat they headed towards the food stalls to get some lunch and sit at the back of the crowd at the NME stage and listen to Stereophonics. Tom and Rhys grumbled together about the cost and quality of festival food while Chop told the newcomer lads all about Bagleys last night and Archie and Finn yawned and poured over the line up again, Rae arguing with them loudly when they started to debate some of the choices they'd previously made for who to see.

Eventually they all wandered over to a nice patch of grass to laze about on as they listened to the tunes from the NME stage. Izzy was the most excited by Stereophonics and she stood while she ate, swaying absent-mindedly to the music while Rae, Finn and Archie continued to debate over who to see after a long, lazy lunch; Pavement or Veruca Salt. Chop had them pacing their drinks because of the heat and no one was arguing, plus they'd adopted Rhys's technique of having a water in between each alcoholic drink; it really had helped. But Benji, Frankish, Simmo and Prude were drinking fairly steadily and were getting hilariously rowdy, but their numbers were diminished to three when Prude picked up a pair of girls and Rae understood why he was called Prude; he was he complete opposite of a prude.

"I'm outta water." Finn turned to the rest of the gang, "Drinks?" He got orders from everyone and intended to bring back a bottle of water for all eight of them too; the other lads were well beyond wanting water. Rhys and Tom came with him to help, but Finn's absence did not stop the debate over who to see next, even Chloe started to get involved when Archie said that Veruca Salt were one-hit-wonders; Chloe was getting quite partial to girl rock and would have none of it.

Benji watched Prude getting some from two girls and felt the urge to have a festival fling; they were always quality fun. He spotted a lass with nice big knockers, just what he liked most, sitting with a bunch of lads a few metres away. She looked like a challenge, and Benji was too drunk for a challenge, therefore, it was better to go for a girl he already knew. That left Izzy, Chloe and Rae. Now Rae - there was a set of knockers he could enjoy. Benji looked at Rae lustily but remembered she was with his lad Finn. His eyes went to Izzy, but Chop had his arms around her as they danced to the music. He watched Finn, Tom and Rhys returning with drinks and turned his eyes back to the only other girl with them. Chloe. She was quite a hottie. Without a second thought Benji pulled her into his arms and planted his mouth upon hers passionately. Finn's eye widened as he saw it and he immediately looked up to Rhys, his eyes taking in the scene.

"Oh shit." Finn breathed, knowing there was no way he could hold Rhys back. But Rhys watched with calm eyes, his mouth pulled into a tight line for a moment and he took a deep breath. Finn was confused by his lack of reaction and furrowed his brows.

"Doesn't that bother you?" He asked and Tom shot him a dirty look.

"You trying to provoke him?" Tom asked Finn and shook his head.

"It's fine." Rhys told Tom, "I'm not bothered."

"But she's your girl." Finn's voice betrayed his complete disbelief at Rhys's response.

"Chloe is her own woman. She will do as she pleases. I do not own her." Rhys answered and then turned with a slight grin to Finn, "But if it turns out she doesn't want to be kissing him, then I'll happily hurt him." Benji pulled out of the kiss and grinned triumphantly.

"You are one hot bird Chlo."

"Uh… thanks." Chloe said, "Benji… I like you… but could you not do that again?" She said with a small grin, trying to be polite. Finn, Tom and Rhys saw them talking, but couldn't hear the words from how far away they still were.

"What's that girl?" He asked with a grin.

"Don't kiss me again." Chloe said firmer. But Benji was drunk and stoned and the music was loud and he didn't hear her properly. He just heard 'kiss me' and went in for the kill. Chloe shoved him back and punched him hard in the mouth. He stumbled back drunkenly and fell on his arse, the gang watching with shocked eyes, Rae and Archie on their feet in an instant, Izzy's hands over her mouth. Chloe smiled triumphantly and turned her eyes to find Rhys, glad he was there and had seen it, even if it was from a distance.

"Check that shit out!" She said happily to him, even though he was too far away to hear her. Chop went over to Benji and helped him up. He was being friendly, but his stance was semi-defensive, ready to hit Benji if it was needed.

"Serves you right." Chop told him, "Now go find a girl who wants to kiss you."

"I thought…" Benji mumbled. "Sorry Chlo… I didn't hear…" He pointed to the stage and Chloe nodded stiffly to indicate she accepted his apology. Chop steered Benji in the direction of a group of girls that had been looking over at them and shook his head as Benji stumbled toward them happily.

"You must feel something." Finn persisted as they continued towards the gang.

"I do." Rhys admitted, "I feel glad that Chloe so powerfully asserted herself."

"Well fuck." Finn mused, "You're a better man than me." Rhys stopped walking and turned to him.

"I came to where I am through years of pain and struggle. Since I was a child when my mother died, I have had my humanity and dignity stripped from me. Being so continuously dehumanised… this has taught me, brutally, to never do that to another human being. Not even for a second." Rhys told him, "You are on a different journey than I am. Don't ever think that you're a lesser man because we are at different places." Rhys said it with such conviction that Finn nodded slowly, believing him, "It's not a linear timeline, no one is further ahead or further behind, we are all simply where we are in our own journey." Rhys continued, "In the future we will be different, and perhaps you will be telling me what your journey has taught you." Tom gave Finn a grim smile as Rhys continued back towards the gang.

"I asked him about his past once." Tom said, "It's some fucked up shit." Tom continued on and Finn watched Rhys's back curiously for a moment before he followed. Rhys tossed the bottles of water he had for everyone to each person, and as soon as his hands were empty Chloe had inserted herself into his arms and was kissing him happily.

"Did you see?" She was asking excitedly, Finn watched in disbelief as Rhys listened to Chloe's blow by blow description of her punch as he handed out drinks.

"Your form was almost flawless." Rhys said and Chloe stopped mid thought. The whole gang turning in surprise.

"High praise indeed!" Chop shook his head, "I've never gotten an 'almost flawless.'" His face scrunched up with envy.

"You've never been almost flawless." Finn laughed; he'd gotten an absolutely flawless several times from Rhys, so he was feeling fine.

"Oi!" Chop laughed and a play-fight between Chop and Finn broke out, Izzy and Rae having to move drinks out of the way of their feet as they wrestled each other to the ground.

"Do you sometimes think our boys are gonna end up fucking?" Izzy asked Rae as they watched them roll around on the grass. Rae scrunched up her nose and cocked her head to the side.

"Straight boys never understand how homo-erotic the shit they do is." Archie interjected as Tom sat down beside him.

"I think they're all just in denial." Tom laughed. "They might not like boys 'that' way, but they certainly like boys this way." He nodded to Finn and Chop wrestling and Rae and Izzy found themselves nodding thoughtfully.

In the end the girls went to see Veruca Salt and the lads all went to see Pavement. Rae probably would have preferred Pavement, but the three girls had promised each other to stick together at clubs and gigs like this; to look after each other. And Chloe really wanted to see Veruca Salt, and Rae did like them… so the decision was easy really. But three girls in a moshpit was not easy. They clung to each other and jumped up and down laughing. But part way through a giant hairy man with a sweaty back ended up pressing on from one side, Izzy and Chloe pulling tragic and disgusted faces and laughing hysterically as they were crushed into the barrier in front of the stage, surrounded by a happily moshing crowd. The semi-naked man sweated on them and another man in leather pushed in from the other side, but the girls just kept laughing and moshing as the crowd jostled them left then right.

"It's gonna be much worse in the moshpit for the bigger bands." Rae commented after Veruca Salt's set finished and they headed for the meeting point; they were planning to spend a few hours dancing in the crowd at the Virgin High Energy Tent, then watch Blur, then catch the end of the Daft Punk set. The boys however, where out to see as many bands as they could. Rae had decided they'd just end up rushing around to see a few songs of each band and not really enjoy any one of the bands fully. The girls were taking it slow. They met up and had a drink and a chat about the sets they'd just seen and headed off to dance together for a bit.

By the time Blur started up the girls were in a mellow happy mood, having smoked more joints and had plenty of water. The boys were happily exhausted, having gone hard all day. The blur mosh was huge and the crowd lurched wildly, the girls again clinging together, but this time the boys were right there with them. Izzy refused to go up on Chop's shoulders; she was used to this now and she wormed them all forward to the barriers for the best views. The pressure from behind felt every bit as though there were thousands of fans pushing forward to see their favourite band and Rae felt as if her ribs would break on the barrier, but she just couldn't stop screaming and cheering and watching him… Damon Albarn… He was spectacularly good looking. Rae might be dating the fittest lad in the known universe, but it didn't change that Mr Albarn was a mighty fine piece of eye candy and Blur's set was brilliant.

Getting out of the crowd after the set ended to catch the end of Daft Punk was much harder than they had anticipated. Most people were starting to head to either the camping grounds or home and the rush of bodies was immense. Rae was holding Chloe's hand in one hand and Finn's in the other as they tried to weave through the crowd. But it was a solid wall of bodies pressing in from every angle, jostling, pulling and pushing and Rhys's size was not conferring any advantage for once. Izzy got pulled away from them first, Chop trying to get through the crowd to her, and Rae felt herself being pushed forward by some people behind, her hand ripping from Chloe's, but Finn's firm grasp held on for longer before he too was jostled and she saw him pushing through the crowds to get back to her. She shook her head at him and tried to raise her hands to point in the direction of the meeting point but they were pressed to her torso by the barrage of bodies around her. Luckily he got the idea as she nodded in that direction and nodded back in reply. Trying to fight against the crowd was nearly impossible, and Rae let herself be carried along for a bit, feeling panicked, but under control, taking every opening she could that headed towards the meeting point. She looked back at roughly where she'd last seen Finn but he was nowhere to be seen. Looking the other way she scanned the audience for Chloe but couldn't see her, she couldn't even see Rhys, whose height usually made him stand out. She scanned the crowds for a face she recognised as she tried to fight her way out of there. She could see hundreds of faces but no one she knew as her eyes passed over the scene around her. And then she stopped. A set of eyes in the crowd watching her.

It felt like her stomach had fallen out and adrenaline rushed through her body. Fear pumping in her ears. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. She turned her eyes back to the place that she thought she'd seen… no. No there was no one there watching her.

_He's NOT coming back Rae!_

She told herself. But she felt jumpy nonetheless and kept looking back to the place she thought she'd seen someone…

_Him_

Watching her from the audience.

After another 10 minutes she managed to get herself to the meeting point, Rhys and Chloe were already there of course, eventually Rhys had simply stopped being polite and that has moved the couple through the crowd with no further trouble. Finn and Tom had also already made it, but Chop, Izzy and Archie were nowhere to be seen when Rae finally put her arms around Finn's waist. She felt much better seeing him, the panic at

_Seeing him_

How huge the crowds had been settled down immediately when she saw he was safe, and he seemed to share the sentiment.

_I DIDN'T SEE HIM!_

She corrected herself.

_There was no one._

_Just someone who looked like him._

_It was nothing._

_He's not coming back._

_He's not at the fucking V Festival!_

_How stupid would he have to be to come to something like this when he's wanted by the fucking fuzz?_

_You're fucking imagining things girl!_

She tried to make her voice sound stern, and like Finn's voice in her head.

_He's not coming back for you._

Moments later Archie appeared and shook his head.

"Fucking mental!" He said, "Some wankers got into a fight near me." Tom furrowed his brows and reached his hands out to him, "I'm alright!" Archie answered his unasked question, "I stayed out of it. Just made the crowd go nuts. And the cops came waded through with fucking batons knocking heads in."

"Jesus fucking Christ." Rae said and they turned their eyes to the slowly moving crowd, waiting for Izzy and Chop.

"Surprised they didn't end up with a riot." Tom mused and Archie nodded.

"It was a close thing." Archie acknowledged.

"I saw Simmo get arrested." Finn told them and Archie pulled a face.

"Fuck."

"Here they are!" Finn said delightedly and pointed to the crowd, Rae picking out Chop's angry face amongst the crowd, blood on his lips.

"The fuck's happened?" Archie asked worried.

Eventually they managed to free themselves from the crowd and Izzy's hands were up over her chest, her shirt clearly torn.

"It's alright!" She said exasperatedly, "Some guy tore me shirt, and Chop knocked him one, and he hit Chop back, but we got outta there afore the fuzz came." Chop stripped off his shirt and handed it to her and she took it gratefully. "I think it were an accident that he did tore it, you know?" She said to Chop and he shrugged.

"I heard you scream in distress." He answered. "Don't care what his reasons were."

"Ah." Archie said, "So you might have been the… guys fighting." Archie changed his use of language and Chop shrugged.

"I saw a couple o' fights." He told them. "Everyone's drunk and tired."

"Are we heading to Daft Punk?" Izzy asked, an excited grin coming over her face.

"Fuck yes we are baby girl!" Chop answered and they headed down a different path to get the set.

It was past two in the morning before Rae and Finn collapsed in to bed, far too exhausted to even think about having sex, even though it would mean it was the first day they had gone without sex when Rae wasn't on it.

_'Blister in the Sun' by The Violent Femmes_

Ten am on Sunday morning saw a tired gang eating breakfast and trying to get their heads in the game for the second day of the V Festival. The mood was one of frenetic exuberance bordering on hysterical exhaustion. Tom came into the kitchen from upstairs with a small black leather bag. He sat down and unzipped it.

"Alright who wants some fucking uppers?" He asked and pulled out a selection of powders and pills. "I think we'll go with some quality amphetamines… Speed!" He said to Archie who grinned in reply.

"It's like having me own personal pharmacist." Archie picked up a pill and Tom slapped his hand.

"It's pure." He said, "That much'll fuck you up and you won't remember the festival. And the comedown'll be dreadful…" He told Archie protectively. The gang watched Tom cut the pill into halves and eye them all, looking at Izzy last. "And it'd probably kill her cos of her size and the chemo." He cut the pill in quarters and handed a quarter to her. "Half of that now, half in about six hours." He told her and she nodded. Everyone else got a half of a tablet to have over the whole day, except for Rhys and Tom who both got full tablets. Rhys because of his size and Tom because of his tolerance to drugs.

"I haven't been intoxicated on this many consecutive days for quite a while." Rhys laughed and took Tom's cutting tools to cut his pill in half.

"Yeah you went all straight on me!" Tom said and Rhys laughed.

"Got sick o' the fucking hangovers." But mostly Rhys liked to have control of himself, and intoxication hampered that. Nonetheless, he put the half pill in his mouth swallowing it with a mouthful of orange juice and stored the second half for later. Seeing Rhys swallow the pill without concern and Archie following suit, made everyone else comfortable to try this drug that was new to them.

"It'll take about 30 minutes to kick in." Tom told them as he swallowed his half a tablet.

"How is Jules?" Rhys asked as he finished eating nonchalantly.

"Still the best fucking drug-maker in Britain." Tom grinned. Rhys nodded slowly, considering this.

"How d'you guys know… Jules?" Chloe asked. She didn't know Jules, but he was clearly a big deal in the land of drugs.

"He's my brother." Rhys answered.

"Twin brother!" Tom said, "There's fucking two of 'em!" Chloe turned her eyes to Rhys as the gang reacted to that.

"Julian is older by 4 minutes." Rhys told her, "And it's been too long since I last saw him." He said sadly.

"Well we're in London." Tom told him and Rhys nodded.

"I'll pay him a visit." Rhys didn't indicate if he'd be taking Chloe with him, but from the way she was looking at him it was clear she expected him to.

"Right, time to go!" Rae said, catching sight of the clock; they had a train to catch.

The speed had kicked in while they were on the train, it had a similar up-rush to ecstasy but the happiness was even more intense; frenetic was understating it. Rae felt unreasonably confident, like she could fly if she jumped off a building, but Tom had given them a small enough dose to keep them in their right heads and she understood she couldn't fly, she just felt like she could. Their energy levels went through the roof and they were bounding up and down the aisles between the seats on the train and pissing everyone off in no time, talking loudly to the other passengers until one by one, people changed carriages and they had the carriage to themselves. Ecstasy had made them all touchy-feely, and the need to love everyone was increased over ecstasy with speed, in fact, speed increased Finn's sex drive so much he practically tackled Rae onto an empty train seat and started kissing her messily, his hand going up her skirt, tearing her tights in no time. Chop and Archie began to sing loudly, Rhys and Chloe happily touching each other in awe of each other's skin, Izzy happily buzzed danced to the singing and nodded in response to Tom who talked in a nonstop torrent to her. Finn was inside of Rae before she'd even had time to properly register that her tights were torn; the pleasure was intense and she started to groan, Finn put a hand over her mouth and buried his face in her neck to silence himself while they fucked, hidden from view by the chair in front of them. Speed did tend to speed things up, and they were done almost as soon as they'd begun. Finn starting to sing loudly with Archie and Chop while he was still inside of Rae, lying across the chair, but having cum now, his mind was able to focus on other things. Eventually they started to clean themselves up with loud guffaws and when Rae got Finn's cum on her hand, she ended up wiping it on his face.

"Oi!" He laughed.

"Wear it." She giggled and he rubbed his face on hers which only led to them making out frantically. But then Rae's racing mind alighted upon 'the issue' and she pushed Finn away.

"Guys!" She said loudly, her head popping up above the seat, "We gotta sort out who we're seeing."

Rae and Finn re-joined the group and the debate that ensued over who to see was beyond gorgeously heated and frenetically paced.

Despite their heavier dosage, Tom and Rhys were, predictably, the most in control of themselves, and when Tom noticed Archie grinding his teeth he nudged Rhys with his foot and Rhys pulled out a piece of chewing gum for Archie to have. Rhys decided to hand it out to everyone, even though it was affecting them all differently; it was better to guard against the grinding in all of them.

"We girls should tie ourselves to each other!" Izzy said and Chloe and Rae agreed instantly. Rae's knee length skirt, was tied to Izzy's skirt, and Izzy tied her shirt to Chloe's shirt.

Time seemed to move so quickly that before they knew it they were bouncing around in the moshpit in front of the V Stage, large bottles of water provided by Rhys in their hands. The whole crowd was huge and angrier today, the surging and jostling was intense, but the girls stayed for hours clinging together and jumping up and down tirelessly, elbowing guys that got too grabby as if they were invincible. The guys continued their trend of trying to see everyone, while the girls simply stayed where they were. By the time the Placebo set began the high was ebbing and they were tired, thirsty and hungry. Rae regretted it, but they had to go and find the boys and get food. She looked back at Placebo and sighed as they headed out of the crowd.

Luckily they managed to get out of the crowd easily and found Finn and Chop at a food stall doing a food run for the lads. The minute he saw Rae, Finn wrapped his arms around her. Izzy hugged Chop, the two girls' skirts pulled on their waists as the knot held, but they ignored it. Chloe eyed the food stall and decided what she wanted while her mates hugged and kissed.

"Sorry for the train." He pulled a face halfway between genuine apology and obvious amusement at his own antics.

"No, I like you on speed." She laughed, but laughing was a little harder now that she was on the comedown.

"Horny as fuck on it!" He told her, "I can't imagine what'll happen with the second dose." He looked her up and down and she bit her bottom lip and shrugged.

"Well me tights are already torn." She said suggestively and he grinned.

"That's what I like to hear."

They took the food back to the rest of the gang; also on the comedown, and ate, not suffering too much from it. The girls untied their clothes for lunch, intending to tie themselves back together afterwards. Everyone discussed who they'd seen and what speed was like merrily. Tom had acquired quite an eye for drug dosage and knowing what to give who and in what amounts. If you got fucked up with Tom, it was deliberate. Nice buzzes like this with the minimal amount of comedown possible was also deliberate. He'd been able to guess their weights, health and metabolic rates quite accurately from his time with them at the boxing joint, and knew the purity of the drug he was giving them. Much like Rhys, he had been without parental guidance from a young age and he had done things to survive. Drugs had been a part of his life since he was 14; before he'd left his parents' house. He didn't make mistakes when it came to drugs. Nor did he allow for addiction to happen. He watched his own usage carefully, and now he watched Archie's even closer. And watching the gang chatting and coping with the comedown well, he knew he'd watch them all now; keep them safe when they decided to have some fun with drugs.

After lunch the girls went for a toilet break, once again expecting a long wait, like yesterday, until Chloe noticed the men's toilet didn't have a line.

"Let's go to the men's." Chloe said and Izzy scrunched her nose.

"No way." A heated debate between Chloe and Izzy ensued until they both turned their eyes to Rae to decide.

Rae a year ago would have waited in the girls' line, too embarrassed to go near the boys. The Rae of today was inclined to agree with the Rae of last year, but she really needed to go and the men were in an out in no time.

"Let's do it." She surprised them all and Izzy gave her an exasperated glare before agreeing to leave the line and head to the men's toilet.

The three of them stood at the door, hesitating, nervous.

"Well one of us is gonna have to open the door." Rae said. Chloe cocked her chin in her best imitation of bravery and pushed the door open.

"Oh god!" Izzy said with a repulsed sound and Chloe covered her nose immediately.

"Jesus Christ!" Rae mumbled as the dank smell of urine and urinal cakes hit their noses. But straight ahead they could see empty toilet cubicles, full of toilet paper, practically sparkling they were so clean. They looked at each other and decided to brave the smell and stepped into the toilets, immediately, they saw several men to their right, standing at urinals, pissing. Chloe's jaw dropped and Izzy pulled a disgusted face. Rae tried to smile professionally at them as they stared at the girls.

"Just here for these." Rae said awkwardly and pushed the girls into a cubicle each.

When it came to washing their hands they tried to keep their eyes lowered as the guys all around them gave them odd looks. Izzy scrunched her nose as she noticed how many men left without washing their hands.

"Oh fuck I think I'm gonna pass out from the smell." Chloe said.

"I'm gonna be smelling this for fucking weeks." Rae agreed as they finished up and rushed for the door.

"Fresh air!" Rae said and took a deep breath.

"I think me clothes smell like it." Izzy said with a horrified face.

"How the fuck do boys handle that fucking smell?" Chloe asked.

"And they all stand around and piss together!" Izzy added with a shocked face, "Could you imagine if us girls did that?"

"Well we don't think of our piss as marking territories do we?" Chloe said, "I bet they check whose dick's bigger while they're at it."

"That's just sad." Rae shook her head.

"Probably true for most of 'em." Izzy still had the disgusted look on her face, "I can still smell it!" She jiggled like there was a spider on her that she needed them to get off.

"It's probably clinging to the lining of your nostrils." Rae said with a look of distaste. "And all the way down our lungs." Rae shuddered, "That stench was rank." They approached the boys and gave them all a deeply unimpressed look.

"What?" Chop asked innocently and Izzy shook her head at him.

"Disgusting boys." She told him in a repulsed tone.

After laughing for ten minutes solid at the girl's description of their adventures into the male toilet, the lads decided they'd stay with the girls for the rest of the day; it was more fun with them around. The girls had decided to stay at the V stage, and then head to the Virgin High Energy Tent after the Prodigy to catch the end of The Chemical Brothers set. They chatted and finished lunch, all four couples hugged up on this slightly cooler day.

They all dropped their second dose of speed, but were better prepared for the outcome this time; Finn had already figured out where he'd be fucking Rae when the urge hit him hard, like he knew it would.

"Shall we head back to the pit?" Rae asked with a grin, and they all started to get up, each with a new bottle of water. Tom and Archie kissed as they waited for everyone to be ready and as he tasted his boyfriend's mouth, Archie felt a sudden pain in the back of his head. He heard the yelling before he'd had time to put his hand up to his head.

"Fucking faggots!" A lad had thrown a rock at them, Tom spotting him instantly.

"Hey fuck you!" Finn roared in return, Chop right by his side, Rhys glaring at the lads with hatred. Rae and Chloe yelled in fury and Izzy's eyes were on Archie in concern. Tom looked over at the rock thrower with another two lads laughing and then back at Archie.

"You alright?" Archie pulled his hand off his head where the rock had hit him, there was blood on his fingertips. "Right." Tom said calmly and kissed Archie gently, "I'll just be just a minute." He walked over to the lads, Finn moving forward to go with him, but Archie held up a hand.

"He's got some family shit to work through." Archie said, "And he tends to be a tad hot-headed when it comes to homophobes… Best to leave him to it." Chloe looked at the wound on his head.

"It's fine." She told him and he nodded.

"I know." Archie watched Tom get within in striking distance of the lads and then explode into furious, enraged action. Punching first one then the second lad, turning to head butt the third.

"Fucking hell." Rae said as Tom threw his head back and laughed when the first guy punched him in the ribs.

"It's not really a fair fight." Finn fretted as the second guy punched Tom as well, the third guy was still holding his broken nose.

"No it's not." Archie said and simply watched; he'd seen it all before. Tom pulled the first guy into a choke hold, downing him in seconds like Rhys had on Friday night and then roundhouse kicked the third guy. The second guy was the one that had thrown the rock. Tom jabbed him in the face, then the ribs, then kicked out his legs.

"He's just playing with him!" Chop said happily. Rhys scanned the crowd and saw commotion heading their way.

"Time to go." He told them and Chop called out to Tom.

"Fuzz is coming!" He said and Tom nodded not taking his eyes off the guy on his knees before him. He looked as though he was deciding what to do to him and then brutally uppercut the lad's chin and knocked him back into the dirt before turning back to Archie and taking his hand, a calm serene look on his face.

"Feel better?" Archie asked him and Tom smiled happily.

"Much better." Finn raised his eyebrows at Archie when he heard Tom's response.

"Yeah yeah, I know." Archie told him; Tom had the same temper Finn did, the same temper Archie had called Finn a Cro-Magnon man for. Finn kept the same look going until Archie capitulated, "I'm sorry." He laughed.

"Fucking bet your arse you're sorry!" Finn laughed.

"He's not jealous like you though." Archie told him and Finn shrugged.

"We can't all be perfect." Finn laughed.

They weaved their way through the audience, Chloe aggressively pushing sometimes when people wouldn't move and weren't even watching the band. The boys were astounded to see that eventually the girls worked them to the front of the crowd. They leaned against the barriers happily as Foo Fighters played and the speed rush set in. Finn instantly having to have Rae, he grabbed her and spun her around, fucking her up against the barriers while the audience screamed for Dave Grohl and moshed aggressively all around them, the gang not noticing as they went nuts jumping around to the music. Finn managed to make himself last long enough for Rae to actually cum this time, the barrage of people jostling and swaying them through the frenzied, maniacal speed fuck.

All around them people were losing their shit and screaming, jumping, slamming into each other, the gang managed to stay together, clinging to the barrier as they danced and jumped and screamed.

When Beck played next the audience was much more mellow, dancing and singing along loudly, almost drowning Beck out during 'Loser.'

But it was the Prodigy that saw the audience reach an absolute frenzy. People began slam dancing; the act of taking a running leap into other people, slamming together as painfully as possibly. And Rhys was kicked in the face by a crowd surfer, his eyebrow split and bled impressively. None of this stopped the gang from doing anything other than joining in on the frenzy, moving in something halfway between dancing and moshing, they jumped as high as they could, bodies from the roiling crowd behind them pressing them into the barrier. Security started to get pissed off at the crowd and pushing people around when they tried to get over the barrier. A woman on her boyfriend's shoulder took her top of and danced topless until she fell back into the audience, but she was captured and she crowd surfed for a long time before she ended up being passed over the barrier. Thousands of people pressed together, dancing, jumping, moving in all directions like an ocean in a storm, and the gang where the breaking tide, pressed against the shore, the barriers pushing into their ribs, making breathing difficult, and still they screamed out song lyrics. Still they tried to push back against the crowd to give themselves enough room to dance for a few moments before the forward surge would again slam them into the barriers. The speed gave them endless energy and they soaked up every moment of it.

They were disappointed when the set was over, but they started to snake through the exhausted audience, strung out and keen for more music, they sought out the Chemical Brothers, this time the boys trusting the girls to find a way through the audience. They didn't get separated and where in dancing to the Chemical Brothers in just a few minutes. They were so high and exuberant that by the time 11pm rolled around and the V festival was over, they'd been dancing and moshing since midday and they still wanted more.

"There's plenty of nightclubs in London!" Tom reminded them with a grin.

"Dance till dawn!" Izzy cried and they cheered her on in agreement.

_'And So It Goes' by Billy Joel_

After only three months of looking for her he held a phone number in his hand.

It had been so easy in the end.

He'd gone through the boxes in his wardrobe, found nothing useful; ringing all the old numbers led to one dead end after another. But going through his old possessions reminded him of the lovely Anka. He marvelled that he could have shut himself down so much as to ever forget Anka!

It wasn't so much that he forgot her as he hadn't remember her. He had put all of that part of his life into a little box so the memories of it couldn't hurt him anymore.

It took only a few weeks of watching his daughter's grave to see an unimpressed delivery boy dropping some flowers on the grave. Gary had caught up with him and angrily asked him if that was how he showed respect to dead little girls. By the time Gary had asked him who was sending the flowers to his daughter's gravesite the delivery boy had been so scared that Gary was going to report him to his boss that he'd given him the order details for free.

A Stamford phone number.

Impossible.

He had called it.

She had been expecting him to call sooner.

It seems everyone had been expecting him sooner.

Why hadn't he started the search so much sooner?

At first he was heartbroken and he had nothing left in him to fight for her. Something that he was deeply ashamed of. But as time went by and he ached for her, missed her in a way that he had never known possible, he had told himself that he was respecting her wishes, and so he was… But also he was afraid:

What happens now?

But it wasn't Kenzie on the other end of the Stamford phone number.

It was a friend of hers that she had met in London about six years ago. This friend had moved to Stamford just last year because she had bought a business in the shopping strip. She had been sending the flowers on behalf of Kenzie all these years.

Gary had asked her if Kenzie ever visited her. _No she stays in London. _

She stays in London, except for when she goes to Scotland; Gary knew that much.

He'd asked this woman, Eileen, for contact details for his wife. She had refused.

Two weeks passed agonisingly slowly after a lot of fruitless searching for Kenzie McCay in the directory of London and other public records. His efforts were slowed down by his massive work load for his job. A workload he had no intention of letting slip; it paid for his son to be able to have a car and a scooter and a motorbike. And for them to live in far more ease than they had been in previous years.

He called Eileen again and asked her to ask Kenzie to call him, or ask her if she could give him her phone number. They had talked for some time, Gary getting the feeling that she was gauging him; deciding if he had the right intention when it came to calling her friend. In the end she had decided to give him her phone number.

And now he held it in his hands.

He had had the number for a week now. He'd waited for Finn to go to London before attempting the call.

But every time he looked at the phone his ability to form words left him.

What would he say?

What happens now?

But Finn reading that letter had set off a chain of events and he just wanted this thing to be done. He missed his wife, and Janice leaving, and the search for Kenzie had stirred up all that old pain. He had to know.

It was that simple.

He didn't let himself think about what came next, or how his life would unfold with Kenzie back home. He just wanted to know. He missed her, he loved her.

He needed to move past the limbo he'd been in for the past nearly eight full years; he wanted this part of his life to be over.

He waited for his nerves to settle and picked up the phone.

Slowly he dialled each numeral of the London phone number.

It rang.

Gary waited, listening to the phone ringing.

He started to fear she wouldn't pick up when there was a click on the other end of the line, a soft intake of breath, and then a voice.

"Hello?" He knew that voice.

"Kenzie." His voice broke with emotion he had been holding back for eight years now.

"Gary?"


End file.
